Long Ride (Riding with Honor)

by Avery, Rebecca

  “Just one more thing… we don’t want Carla to know about it, at least not until it’s done or she might not let us,” he said. It was incredible how easily Carla had gained this young man’s respect and devotion… like a mother almost.

  “I think I can take care of that too,” she said with a smile.

  “Thanks, Becca,” he said wrapping her in a big hug. Then said, “I’m so glad you’re back down here taking care of us… we need you.”

  Chapter Ten

  After instructing Chuck to deposit the money in his account and wait for her to contact Carla’s bank, he headed out of the office wearing a smile. She remained behind in the office for several minutes trying to comprehend him and compose herself.

  What kind of person did something like that for someone else even when it cost them so much personally? These four bikers were just the sort of people who did those kinds of things.

  Bobby and Lilly were living in one of the roughest areas of town in a very small house with Edna. They wanted to ensure the older woman could remain in the house she’d bought with her late husband. They desperately needed a bigger place with the baby on the way but yet they stayed to make sure Edna was looked after and provided for.

  Tommy and Dana had jumped through hoops to ensure their two little girls were provided for and ‘well rounded’ and to hear them tell it… they were the lucky ones. They had spent every spare minute of their time at the hospital nursing Melody so that they could then take on the financial and emotional responsibility of her. This very afternoon she would be asking them to take responsibility for yet another child… one that wasn’t even theirs.

  Chuck’s selflessness was nothing short of beautiful, especially in light of everything he’d been through in his young life. Dickie, who had made it possible for Chuck’s inner light to shine by not turning him in when he could have, had taken bread from his own table to put on Chuck’s.

  Four men who upon first sight might make a person a little leery were perhaps the closest thing to truly charitable… honorable humanity… she’d ever witnessed.

  “You alright there, good lookin’?” Tommy asked, sticking his head in the door of the office.

  Scrubbing her melancholy thoughts away along with the last of her tears, she smiled and said, “Oh I’m fine… sorry.”

  “Are we still on for this afternoon?” he asked hesitantly.

  “Yes, I was just getting ready to head over there now,” she said.

  “Ok, I need to finish up one last thing and then I’ll be on my way. I’ll see you at the house,” he said with a half grin and closed the door back shut.

  The ride to Dana and Tommy’s house was mired in the thought that she would miss all of them… not just Dickie when she returned to New York.

  She pulled into the driveway and made her way up the walk in front of their house. Soon enough Dana opened the door holding Melody in her arms. The woman looked so peaceful and happy.

  “Tommy is finishing up something and then he’ll be along,” she supplied at Dana’s puzzled look.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Dana asked, putting Melody in a baby swing and switching it on.

  “No, I’m fine but thank you,” she replied sitting down on the couch.

  Dana came over and sat at the other end of the couch and after a moment of silence she looked over and said, “Is everything ok? I know that they caught the man who had been stalking you… so why the long face?”

  “Yes, in fact I leave to head back to New York in a few hours rather than staying until the weekend,” she replied, looking at her watch.

  “So that’s the reason… what does Dickie think about you leaving?” Dana asked quietly.

  “Oh he… he seems fine with it. I would guess he’ll be glad to get his life back to normal once I’m gone,” she laughed half-heartedly.

  “What about you? Are you happy to be headed home?” Dana asked.

  God no! Facing more lonely days and even lonelier nights did not make her happy but there was nothing to be done for it. Her practice was in New York while his life was here. The most she could hope for was to possibly see him from time to time.

  Perhaps if it became necessary to go to court for his two neighbor girls or while at her vacation home. That would only last until such time as he found someone else.

  “I, uh… I,” she started and feeling the burn of tears she stopped.

  Dana scooted closer to her and put an arm around Becca’s shoulders and pulled her head down to her own shoulder. Dana was the equivalent of a favorite stuffed animal or blanket and her kind nature had Becca’s heart breaking… letting the tears of the ache loose.

  “Have you told him how you feel?” Dana asked after several minutes.

  “It wouldn’t matter… feelings don’t change the reality of our lives and how different they are,” she sobbed.

  “Love can be scary sometimes… but keeping all those feelings bottled up isn’t worth it. Regardless of the outcome you have to let them out sometime. I recognize a little of myself in you. I was hurt badly in the past also, and it took a lot for me to get over that pain so that I could let Tommy in,” Dana said.

  “It’s obvious that Dickie cares about you… and he would never purposefully hurt you. What’s the worst that could happen if you told him how you feel? Even if he didn’t care about you the same way or thought there was no future for you as a couple… wouldn’t it be better to know that for sure than to always wonder if there was?” Dana asked.

  Dana handed her a tissue out of the box near the couch and she dried her eyes. After she managed to collect herself she smiled and said, “Thank you.”

  Dana smiled a smile of resignation and then went and got them each a glass of tea and as she came back into the living room, Tommy came through the front door. Dana handed her a glass and the other one to Tommy.

  After Dana went back to the kitchen for another glass of tea for herself, she came back and sat next to Tommy. Once they were all settled comfortably in the living room, Becca pulled out a printout from her briefcase and handed it to them.

  She waited a few minutes, still pulling her emotions under control, for them to read the document and then said, “That is why Casey never showed up to court for the final custody hearing for Melody.”

  “So according to this document, she’ll be in prison for a while then so she can’t petition the courts for visitation… right?” Tommy asked.

  “She could still petition for visitation but it’s doubtful it would happen since she didn’t meet the judge’s expectations. There is a small issue regarding Casey that I was asked to talk to you both about though,” she replied. “She’s pregnant again.”

  “That one is not mine!” Tommy said indignantly “I will never touch that again.”

  “I know that, Tommy. She cannot very well care for a child while incarcerated so the child will go into the foster care system,” she replied. Dana’s face lit with understanding but Tommy merely looked saddened.

  “That’s too bad… at least with her in jail she won’t be using so the baby shouldn’t have to go through what Melody did,” Tommy said. “Still feel bad for it though. Wish there was something we could do.”

  “Actually that’s why I’m here,” she said. “Dana is still a foster parent and if you were to become a licensed foster parent as well… Children Services would like to place the baby with your family.”

  “Casey would never allow that… that bitch already thinks I took her other babies away from her,” Tommy said. “Her losing custody of them was all my fault you know… it had nothing to do with the fact she can’t even take care of herself, let alone a child.”

  “Casey wouldn’t really have a say. It would be at the discretion of DCF,” Becca replied.

  “What would happen when she gets out of prison?” Dana asked.

  “Well, if she doesn’t give up parental rights while incarcerated she would then have an opportunity to show that she can handle taking care of the c
hild,” she replied.

  “So they would take the child away from us and give it back to her?” Dana asked.

  “Yes, unfortunately, unless she gives up her parental rights… she would be granted an opportunity to show she is fit to care for the child,” she replied.

  Dana and Tommy shared a look between themselves that she couldn’t read. It was a lot to ask anyone, especially for that long of a time. It was plenty enough time that the child would grow to know Dana and Tommy as parents, just as they would grow to feel the child was theirs.

  Then if by some small chance Casey turned her life around enough to be granted custody, the child would be pulled out of their home and given back. It was obvious Dana understood the concept and as hard as it was for her to accept… it appeared to be even more so for Tommy. His face looked as though he had just been fed a big plate of injustice.

  “Why don’t you think about it for a while and let me know if you’re interested. In the meantime there is an orientation on Friday for prospective new foster parents,” she said.

  “Dickie will be going since he is looking to take on his two little neighbor girls who are in a similar situation as Casey’s baby will be in. You could maybe go with him, and see what it will entail to become a licensed foster parent and perhaps it will help you decide,” she said to Tommy.

  “You have to understand that it’s not that I don’t want to help the baby, but after that long of a time it would feel like the baby was mine only to then have it taken away,” Tommy said, shaking his head.

  “I completely understand that. My only question is now that you know about the baby will you be able to let it go into the foster care system and never know what happened to it?” she asked him. “Will you be okay with Gretchen and Melody only getting to see their sibling during visitations which unfortunately will be few and far between?”

  Tommy ran a hand through his hair that already looked windblown then he stood up and walked over to the front window. “Damn her…” he said quietly.

  “I am going to go so you two can talk this over between yourselves. Just let me know if you have any questions or if there is anything you need from me,” she said, standing up to leave. “Once you’ve decided just let me know and I will let Carmen James know your answer.”

  As she left Tommy and Dana’s house she wondered about Dana’s advice. Should she tell Dickie that in the course of a few months of his constant banter and a little more than a week of living with him, he had won over her heart?

  Her heart told her to confess all to him and open up herself to the beauty of his soul. Her mind told her that a confession would merely make leaving that much harder for them both and would still have the same end result.

  She had accepted having to live out the remainder of her life alone a long time ago. Dickie had been put in her path and left her doubting the direction of her decisions.

  After telling the police that her wound was the result of a clumsy mishap, which they hadn’t believed, and then threatening to tell them the truth if Brian ever came near her again, she had broken her own heart by leaving her marriage. She had taken only her personal belongings when she moved out and used the failed relationship and poor excuse of a husband like a shield.

  That cloak had served her well for more than a decade, allowing her to harden her heart and put up a barricade capable of holding back a hurricane. The wall around her heart had seemed impenetrable until Dickie. He had seen past her polished image and professional demeanor and seen the woman behind the wall. She couldn’t remember ever feeling about Brian or anyone the way she felt with Dickie.

  “I’ve never enjoyed being out of control so much in my life as I do right now.”

  She had never enjoyed being so out of control either. Greg hadn’t known the half of how dangerous Dickie was. Dickie had disarmed her and busted through her barriers as though they were nothing. His sexy smile and fiery touch had then moved in to finish off her heart.

  She turned the car toward Edna Jackson’s house to have her look over the will that she’d drafted and have her sign it so that she could file it with the local hospital. Knocking on the door she waited patiently for the older woman to answer. Opening the door, Edna took one look at Becca and held out her arms. Stepping inside she allowed the older woman to wrap her in a hug.

  “You two better figure this thing out between you before I lock you both in a room and wait for nature to take its course,” Edna said, closing the door and guiding her over to the couch. “Love isn’t really as complicated as you two make it. Hopefully, it doesn’t take too long for you both to figure that out. I’d like to see all of you happily settled before I die.”

  “Oh don’t say that, Edna… you’ve got plenty of time to see him settled along with the others. I just don’t expect it will be with me,” she said.

  “I’m sorry to hear that since I had hoped that all these things you’ve been doing for them these past few months was the start of you taking responsibility for all of them,” Edna said.

  “Taking responsibility for them?” Becca sniffed.

  “They are good men. Every one of them is a little on the rowdy side but they are also honorable and I had thought you were woman enough to keep them in check as much as possible and be their champion when you can’t make them toe the line,” Edna said. “I won’t be around forever and thinking I had you to pass the torch to, somehow made it easier to accept.”

  “What are you talking about, Edna?” she asked.

  “My heart has ached every day I’ve been away from my Robert. I loved that man more than you can imagine when he was alive and I love him still. I think whatever higher power is out there knows I’ve suffered long enough without him,” Edna said. “I’m dying, Becca.”

  “Is there nothing more can be done for you?” she asked after several moments of stunned silence.

  “The doctors are buying me all the time they can but once this will is in place I’ll be all ready when the time comes,” Edna replied. “I don’t want any of them to know about it though… they will just spend the time I have left worrying about me. I don’t want to be treated any differently.”

  “Are you sure that is best? Perhaps if you tell them now it will be easier for them when the moment arrives. Now is the time to say anything to them that needs said before…” she said.

  “I will write them each a letter which I will send to you in the mail, to give them when the day comes. I have one of your business cards in my pocketbook. As for what they want to tell me… I know they love me and that’s enough… always has been. They don’t need to explain themselves to me,” Edna said, matter of fact.

  “If that is what you want, I will see it done. Please let me know if there is anything else you need,” she said.

  “I am fine and I still have some time left… just not as much,” Edna smiled and patted her hand. “The doctors haven’t given me a countdown yet.”

  She sat quietly with Edna for a while before heading back to Dickie’s house to load up her belongings to head to the airport. Upon pulling into the driveway she sat for a few minutes looking at the tiny little ranch style house. It was about the size of her apartment in New York, though not nearly as well furnished. Yet it called to her heart in a way that neither her apartment nor even the beach house did.

  Her feet felt full of lead as she trudged to the front door with her briefcase in hand. Stepping inside she could hear the shower running. Sitting down on the sofa she thought back to the first night here and how she’d slept on the very edge of this couch. Had she been in love with him even then? Or at least falling for him?

  She heard the bathroom door open after a few minutes and looking up her eyes found him standing in the doorway in only a pair of jeans. It felt as though her mind was capturing this image of him to look at in the months ahead while her heart tried to heal. This time she would hurt because she truly loved this man, this wasn’t the pain of failure but success. He had won her love but there was no prize only hear
tache at what would never be.

  “Let me get dressed and we’ll go grab a bite to eat before heading to the airport,” he said after several moments of simply watching her.

  He was normally so good with people… reading their moods and getting them to talk to him about what they were thinking. Becca was a whole other matter. The sad set of her shoulders and puffy eyes indicated that she wasn’t eager to return to her home in New York.

  So why didn’t she go and stay in her beach house instead? Or better yet, just stay here with him? It was like she was resigned to the idea that what was between them was over… a thing of the past.

  The hell it was over… he hated big cities and New York was certainly no exception, but if he had to suffer the city to see her from time to time, he would.

  He would do his best not to smother her and give her the space and freedom to make her own choices where he was concerned but it would likely kill him in the meantime.

  He had considered the idea of moving nearer to her but somehow just couldn’t seem to get past the idea of leaving the guys in such a permanent way. These people were his family… his life… and leaving them behind would simply be trading one love for another.

  From what he could tell there was only Becca and her brother Greg in New York and according to Meredith there had been some sparks between Greg and Carla so it just made more sense for Becca to come to him.

  Perhaps he was being greedy and wanting things his way. He would compromise with her if it helped the situation but the idea of leaving this town… leaving his family just didn’t seem like an option. He would have to be content with seeing her when he could, though the idea threatened to cut his heart from his chest.

  Dinner was unusually quiet between them… each person lost in thought and the beginning of heartache. He said goodbye to her at the security checkpoint rather than following her to the loading gate. He forced himself to walk away and not look back, because if he looked back he feared he wouldn’t be able to let her go.