Laughing, Renko took Kyousuke’s head in a stranglehold embrace. Wrapping both arms around him, she squeezed his head between her knees, one over and one under. He could feel her abundant breasts on the back of his head. His skull, enveloped by Renko’s softness and sweet scent, made a terrible creaking sound as she squeezed, gradually adding strength to her hold.
“Is this what you call love, you…urg-aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!” Any lecherous thoughts that may have crossed his mind were blown away by literally head-splitting pain. Then, it occurred to him that his skull was being smashed like a watermelon by Renko’s watermelon-sized breasts.
“…Uh-oh, better watch out. I loved you too much and nearly crushed you just now.” Recovering her senses for a moment, Renko loosened her powerful grip. The tension in his body relaxed, and Kyousuke crumpled on the spot. Having alighted from his shoulders to stand behind him, Renko wrapped her arms under his armpits, holding him up. “That was, however, an awfully nice voice…,” she murmured, nibbling at his ear. “I do want you to let me hear more of it, hmm?”
She stuck her warm, slim fingers up under the hem of Kyousuke’s shirt and ran them gently across his bare skin. He felt goose bumps rise at the exquisite way she moved her hands using just the right amount of pressure.
“Hey, where would you like me to start destroying you? Your stomach? Your sides? Your chest? Or maybe…down here? Heh-heh! Digestive organs, respiratory organs, circulatory organs, reproductive organs… Heh-heh-heh. If you have a request, let me hear it, Kyousuke! You’re special to me, you know. So, I’m going to let you die in just the way you wish!”
“…Why?”
“Hmm?”
“Why me, Renko?!” Kyousuke screamed, shoving her away with all his strength.
“Waahh?!” she yelled out theatrically, tumbling to the ground. “Owwie… Don’t be so cruel!”
Fed up with her mock whining, Kyousuke, head still throbbing in pain, raised his voice. “As if you know anything about pain, Renko?! I’m not the Warehouse Butcher or anything else.
“I might be stronger than most people, but besides that, I’m totally normal! Not special at all! There’s no rhyme, reason, or rationalization for someone like me to be liked by someone like you. So, knowing all that, why are you—?”
“…Hmm, why is it, I wonder…? Heh-heh.” Lying faceup, Renko’s eyes were closed as if in sleep. She was utterly defenseless, and yet Kyousuke could not seem to muster the will to raise a hand against her. Trying to control his ragged breathing, he quietly stared at Renko’s serene face. A gentle smile, so sweet that one could never imagine her a murderer, slowly spread across her inhuman visage.
“I’m a made-to-order Murder Maid… You see, I was created to kill. Death has always been my raison d’être. From the moment I was born, the murderous melody has been reverberating through me. So I killed. I killed, and I killed, and I killed. I requested kills, and kills were requested of me… I killed one right after another. Men and women, old and young, white and black and yellow… It was all the same to me. Like a pair of scissors doesn’t choose the paper it cuts, the one doing the choosing was always my master. The master of the tool that is me—that master is my murderous impulse. The murderous melody commands, and as it sings out to me, I slaughter. Blending and harmonizing with every emotion…the music spurs my every action toward ‘killing.’ I can’t stop…I can’t stoooooop!!”
Eyes suddenly wide, Renko leaped to her feet.
“……?!”
She had given absolutely no forewarning. Kyousuke, frozen in place, could not avoid Renko’s strike. He only barely, and at the last second, managed to throw his right arm in the path of the blow aimed dead at his temple. His bones screamed with the impact.
“Ugh!!”
Immediately, her right arm lashed out toward Kyousuke, who was still reeling from the first attack. Riding the momentum of her strike, she unleashed a backward roundhouse kick. The heel of her foot, shod in a school slipper, struck his side with frightening accuracy.
“Gah!!” Kyousuke let out a pained shout. Hit with his defenses down, he tumbled, landing on hard concrete. The world reeled, dull gray floor and fire-red sky both spinning, end over end.
“Shit…that hurts…dammit. She’s so fast!” Trying to protect his injured side, Kyousuke pushed himself up, gritting his teeth against the pain.
Renko sauntered forward, swinging her hips back and forth as she closed the distance between them. “Oh, I’m sorry! Music is ruled by rhythm, just like the melody of my murderous impulse. And when it gets into a good hook or finally reaches a climax, I just can’t control myself, you see! Tee-hee…”
Sticking out her tongue, Renko tapped the side of her own head with a konk. As Kyousuke watched her innocent behavior, he recalled the words he had heard just a moment ago. He finally understood.
I like you, so I want to hold your hand.
I like you, so I want to hold you tight.
I like you, so I want to kiss you.
Those were normal thoughts, normal feelings. To Renko’s twisted mind, it followed that I like you, so I want to kill you. With her gas mask removed, Renko’s every emotion was tied to murder.
It was insane, but Renko, as she was now, could not and would not choose any option but to kill. That’s how she was made. She was fundamentally different from Kyousuke and the others.
“Heh-heh. Really… Why did I have to meet you with that mask on? When the murderous melody that is my master is missing, I don’t kill people, and I don’t even think about killing people. It’s the same way that scissors don’t cut anything when they’re not being used. But Kyousuke, I’m still more or less human. Even without my murderous desires, I do have feelings. That’s why I came to care about you… Normally, I don’t get the chance to feel anything for someone before my killer instincts kick in, you see. Very rarely do my emotions develop this far. And more than anything…”
Narrowing her ice-blue eyes, Renko stared hard at Kyousuke. Her pupils were fully dilated. From the depths of her glittering insanity, a faint spark of affection flickered.
“…To me, you are special. I know you don’t think so, Kyousuke, but it’s true! To a creature like me, who has lived in the shadows of the world since the day it was born…well, you understand. You’re the first good person I’ve gotten to know while wearing the mask. And the only person who has never killed… That’s why I’m so interested in you, Kyousuke! Because you’re so totally different from me! To find out what makes a person like you you—see?”
“……”
Kyousuke recalled the words that Eiri had spoken in the infirmary. “The worlds that you and I inhabit are too different.” The one person out of place in an academy full of murderers that trafficked freely with the underworld—that was Kyousuke. Even though Eiri and Maina were also outliers of sorts, they were not completely alien to this place.
That was probably why Renko was so captivated by him. She was different from the other students, who were only attracted to the mask of the Warehouse Butcher that he had been forced to wear. Only Renko was attracted to Kyousuke’s real face and got closer to him.
She continued her leisurely approach. “When I spoke to you, I was so surprised. You seemed so vulnerable! I couldn’t sense even a little bit of hostility or malice or bloodlust or anything. You were so different from anyone I’d even known before… That difference felt good. Emotions I’d never known before came rushing to the surface, one after the other… And the moment they connected with something besides killing was so nice, Kyousuke. It was so much fun!”
She smiled, kneeling by his side, and slowly stroked his cheek with a gentle, careful touch. Her pale cobalt eyes shone with emotion.
Kyousuke was completely bewildered. He had no idea what to do. How should I even feel about Renko? I don’t know. Reflecting back on the past several days and the time he’d spent with her, Kyousuke spoke up.
“It was fun for me, too, Renko… Being with you was really fun. But
…if we’re talking about vulnerability, you’re the one who’s practically defenseless. When I was surrounded by nothing but deviants, I took a lot of comfort in the thought that someone so innocent as you could exist here… That’s what I thought, anyway, but—”
“Right, but that wasn’t my true face, was it? I understand, and I understood it then, too. As I became attracted to you, I wanted to try all kinds of things for the first time. I wanted to touch and be touched, I wanted to know you and for you to know me. Not the person wearing the mask, no— I wanted you to know the true me! Heh-heh…how touching! It’s heartrending, Kyousuke… The moment I cast off my mask, exposing my true self—well, how do you like it?”
Eyes upturned, Renko slid her finger across his skin, arriving at his throat. With both hands she squeezed, lifting him off his feet.
“Ah…ug…Ren…ko…?!”
His throat was being crushed. He couldn’t breathe. Her thumbs pressed on his trachea; an index finger on his carotid artery; a middle finger on his jugular vein; the rest holding him in place— It was an expert stranglehold.
Renko’s icy eyes sparkled fiercely, her bloodlust swirling up around them as if to swallow them both up. “I want to touch. I want to be touched. I want to know you. I want to be known by you… All of those feelings have vanished once and for all! I only want to kill. Kyousuke, I want to kill you! You who I love above all others, I want to kill you more than anyone else! That alone is the finale I truly desire. Because, you see, this is the real me… I’m sorry, Kyousuke, I really am. I know there was still so much you wanted to do together…but right now the only thing I want to do is kill you! Now that you’ve seen my true face, won’t you die for me? Heh-heh-heh-heh…”
Her body swaying slowly back and forth, Renko tightened her grip. If it goes on like this, I’ll really die. He tried frantically to tear her away, but her arms did not yield. Every bit of air was squeezed from his lungs, his mind dyed bright red by the dammed-up blood. “Gah…hah…shi, shit…ah…” His vision filled with static.
Renko’s face, wearing an ecstatic smile, faded away in the haze. On the verge of death, a different image drifted into Kyousuke’s consciousness, the figure of his beloved younger sister—Ayaka. Is she smiling or crying? He could not read her expression. Either way, there was something he had to tell her.
Before I pass out.
Before my life is cut short.
Long ago, I swore to protect you no matter what.
I swore to never make you sad.
I swore to make you smile.
To you, the most important girl in the world.
Even if it doesn’t reach you, there’s something I have to say—
“Sorry… I’m so sorry…Ayaka…”
As Kyousuke mumbled his final words, he suddenly felt Renko’s grip slacken. “……Ah?”
He let out a stupefied gasp, feeling as though the world had been melting away. Then suddenly the fog clouding his vision cleared all at once. Slipping from Renko’s hands, he collapsed onto hard concrete. Coughing convulsively on all fours, Kyousuke greedily gasped for air.
“……Huh? Wha—? Whaaat?” Renko’s dazed voice came from somewhere above him. When he looked, still catching his breath, he saw her standing stock-still, her ice-blue eyes wide. She looks like she doesn’t know what happened. Fear written on her face, Renko shrunk into an unsteady retreat.
From her twitching lips, unbelievable words came spilling out.
“The music……the murderous melody stopped.”
“……Huh?” Kyousuke wasn’t sure he understood. The thing that drove Renko to kill, the absolute murderous impulse—the music… That music that’s been playing in her head this whole time suddenly stopped…is that what she said?
“Why?! How?! It’s wrong! My murderous melody can’t just cut out when I’m halfway through like this, that’s impossible! What did you…what did you do, Kyousukeeeeee?!”
Renko howled in frustration, surprised and upset by a situation she could not accept.
She leaned over the weakened Kyousuke and grabbed him by his collar. Her eyes, clear and blue as the surface of a lake, wavered slightly. The brilliance of her radiant bloodlust had vanished.
Of course, Kyousuke hadn’t actually done anything. Nothing in their surroundings seemed to have changed, either. Then, why? He was frozen, unable to answer, when, burying her face in Kyousuke’s chest, Renko wailed.
“We were so close, and then you said someone’s name, and then…it happened when you called out that other girl’s name! My murderous melody stopped playing! My chest felt heavy, my mind went blank, and everything went all to hell…! Aaaaaahhh, dammit!” Renko fixed Kyousuke in an angry glare, biting her lip as though in a pout, her cheeks flushed.
“Tell me, Kyousuke…who the hell was Ayaka?! That’s a girl’s name, isn’t it? Is she that important to you? Answer me!! Why didn’t you call my name just before you died?! Weren’t you thinking about me?! I feel so strongly about you, but you just… Why…? Why did my murderous melody stop…?!”
Renko’s shoulders trembled. Low sobs escaped her throat. Renko—whose every emotion was supposedly tied to the act of killing—was crying. Kyousuke was baffled. “Renko, you…about Ayaka…are you j-jealous of her?” he asked, perplexed.
“…Jealous?” Renko asked, lifting her face to look at him again. She swiped at her tears with a tattoo-covered arm, glacial eyes narrowing. Ah yes, that’s it…I’m jealous! I’m feeling extreme jealousy toward this Ayaka girl! How could I not?! A girl who means so much to you, even more than me, the one who loves you most out of everything in this world— If I could, I’d like to mutilate her right now… I want to butcher her! Ah yes…it’s starting to play again…the maddening, violent murderous melody! The music! It’s singing as loud as cicadas in May—it’s saying kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill!”
The insane light had returned to Renko’s eyes.
“……?!”
Kyousuke stiffened reflexively, but then realized that Renko’s eyes were not fixed on him. She stared far away at the young girl whose name had slipped from his lips the moment before he’d died—at Ayaka. Renko was irrationally, violently jealous of Ayaka, a girl whose face she’d never even seen. It was only barely similar to the jealousy she had displayed toward Eiri and Maina earlier.
“…Hmm. Too bad she’s not here, I want to kill her, but I can’t…! Aaaaaarrrggghhh, this is really irritating!! Of course, it’s annoying wanting to kill but not being able to, but…it’s not just that… I’m angry at you, too, Kyousuke! I’m incredibly angry at you for not thinking about me…” The fury in Renko’s voice quickly deflated as the light in her eyes faded away. Soon she sounded frail and distant.
“…I’m so, so sad, Kyousuke. You weren’t thinking about me at all! You were thinking about some other girl… I’m heartbroken. It feels like my chest is about to split open…and all my different emotions will spill out in a disarray…and then—then the murderous melody that ties them all together will come screeching to a halt!”
As she spoke, Renko grasped at her chest as though in agony. Biting her lip and frowning, she turned her blue eyes up at him, looking utterly miserable.
Seeing Renko in such a pitiful state, Kyousuke gradually recovered his composure. It seemed that the idea that he could fall in love with another member of the opposite sex (in truth, Ayaka was his little sister, and he didn’t hold any romantic feelings toward her, but still)—the idea of that seemed to fill Renko with unbearable resentment and sadness.
She wondered why he hadn’t been thinking about her.
She had been thinking so intensely about him, so why…
Why wasn’t he thinking of her in return?
“Could it be—?”
It all clicked into place. Irritation an
d sadness, like a hard pressure on your chest…negative emotions like jealousy… Kyousuke remembered feeling them himself, these sweet and bitter emotions— “Renko.” He called her name.
Renko turned her face up. “…Hmm?”
Placing his hands on her shoulders, he gazed into her upturned eyes. “Ayaka is a very important girl. She’s the most important girl in the world to me, and she’s waiting for me on the outside. So, I’m sorry Renko, but I can’t return your feelings. You are not my number one. I’m so happy that you feel that way about me, but, well…that’s why…I’m sorry.”
“—”
Listening to Kyousuke’s words, Renko’s facial expression became blank, and she was silent. “The most important girl…sorry?” She suddenly screwed up her face.
“Ww…aaa…waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” she wailed loudly, clinging to Kyousuke’s chest, and gave herself over to sobbing, warm tears soaking the front of his shirt. “Waaahh…Kyousuke…rejected me…sniffle…hic.”
Kyousuke stroked the sobbing girl’s hair. “You like me, don’t you? And this is your first time falling in love, isn’t it? The thing is, Renko… Love isn’t something that always goes smoothly—more than anything, it’s hard. Why do you think that is? The feelings you have when you come to love someone, well…they aren’t something you can satisfy on your own. It’s different from simple annoyance or sadness. Throwing your one-sided feelings out there, or one-sidedly butchering another person…there’s no way you can be satisfied doing that. As long as that other person doesn’t also hold the same feelings…as long as it’s not mutual love, you won’t be satisfied.”
The force that had halted Renko’s bloodlust wasn’t jealousy, it was the bitterness of unrequited love. The moment when Kyousuke had called out Ayaka’s name—and the next moment, when she had realized clearly that the person she liked was not thinking about her—a torrent of violent dissonance had overwhelmed Renko.
Jealousy, annoyance, resentment, heartache…and then sweetness. Those emotions, gushing out one after the other, jumbling together in a chaos of feeling—that was what must have stopped Renko’s murderous melody. An intolerable discord that wore away at her heart…
Murderer in the Flower of Death Page 19