Maybe the real reason was Nicki, the knowledge that having a relationship with anyone else would be settling, that he’d never be truly happy.
The fact remained, he was too messed up for an intimate relationship. He’d proved it a few nights ago, when he’d accidentally punched Nicki and knocked her over the coffee table.
And yesterday at the park. He’d watched the activity on the playground—the children swinging, climbing on the equipment, going down the slides. And the boys making up karate moves.
He’d seen a threat that wasn’t even there. And eliminating the threat had consumed all his thoughts, trumping common sense. If Nicki hadn’t stopped him, he might have ended up in jail for battery. Or worse.
No, he wasn’t fit for anything more than causal friendship, no matter what he felt for Nicki.
Andy put a hand on his shoulder, drawing him back to the present.
“I don’t know her whole story, but I think she’s good for you.” He gave Tyler a couple of rough pats and continued, his tone serious.
“Think about it. Maybe it’s time to stop running.”
* * *
Tyler pulled into a space at The Market and put the truck in Park. The gentle lecture his brother had given him that afternoon still circled through his mind. He tried to shut out the words. Andy didn’t know what he was talking about. If running was what it took to avoid hurting Nicki, that was exactly what he would do.
“I owe you an apology.”
Nicki’s words cut into his thoughts, and he turned to look at her. “You do?”
“I didn’t appreciate you being so distrustful of Jenny. I got a little annoyed at you.”
He grinned. “I thought I was imagining it.”
“I’m listening to you now.”
Yeah, she was. And that was why she was with him. It was a quick trip to The Market for orange juice, something she’d forgotten to pick up the last time she went. But he still wasn’t willing to let her out of his sight except when she was at work. He didn’t want to let her out of his sight there, either, but he couldn’t very well make himself a permanent fixture in the meeting area at city hall.
He stepped out and headed toward the passenger side. Nicki met him at the front of the truck. Fortunately she’d agreed when he insisted on taking her to the store, which was good, because he wouldn’t have backed down.
Jenny had said their mother’s killer was coming after Nicki. Was it the one the cops were investigating, this Louie character? Or was it someone else?
Or was it anybody? Nicki didn’t think so. She was sure Jenny was just blowing smoke, trying to torment her by keeping her looking over her shoulder. Chances were she was right. But he wasn’t confident enough to gamble with her life. Until the investigation was over and Louie was either exonerated or taken off the street, he wouldn’t relax.
He swung the door open and motioned Nicki inside. Halfway down the aisle, a young woman stopped her.
“A friend of yours is looking for you. He came into Kona Joe’s for brunch today. I waited his table.”
Nicki’s brows shot up. “Oh?” Tension underlay the word, a strong dose of caution.
“He asked if I knew a Nicki Jackson. I told him I did. He wanted to know where he could find you. He said he’d been by your house, but there’d obviously been a fire, and it was vacant.” She gave Nicki a sympathetic smile. “I heard about the fire. I hope you didn’t have too much damage.”
Nicki tried to return the smile but wasn’t quite successful. “Thanks. I’m afraid it was pretty bad.” She paused, then continued. “So, did you tell him where he could find me?”
The young woman shook her head. “I didn’t know. I figured you weren’t in your house anymore, but I didn’t know where you’d gone.”
Nicki released a soft sigh, but her body was still rigid with tension. “Did he give you a name?”
“No. When I told him I didn’t know where you were staying, I asked for his name and said I’d have you get in touch with him when I saw you again. But he told me not to worry about it, that he’d catch up with you eventually.”
Nicki’s face lost a shade of color, and he draped a protective arm across her shoulders. He didn’t like the sound of that, either. If the whole situation was legit, the guy wouldn’t have a problem with leaving his name.
He pulled Nicki closer. “Can you describe him?”
“Probably late forties, early fifties, dark hair with some gray.”
“A big guy?” Nicki’s voice held a slight quiver.
“Not heavy, just really muscular. He was sitting at the table, so I don’t know how tall he was. But he’d definitely spent some time at the gym.”
Nicki thanked her and headed toward the orange juice.
Tyler followed Nicki to the refrigerated case and stopped next to her. “Did that description sound like Louie?”
“I don’t know. Louie was big. Muscular and heavy.”
He frowned. Based on what she’d learned from the detectives, he’d spent two thirds of the past twenty-two years in jail. Maybe he’d lost a lot of his girth on the prison diet. Or maybe whoever was looking for her wasn’t Louie at all.
She paid for her orange juice and followed him out the door. “It can’t be Louie.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Even if he did kill Mom, he has no reason to come after me. I didn’t see anything. I wasn’t there.”
He walked her around to the passenger side of his truck and opened the door. “What if you were? What if you saw the whole thing but suppressed the memory?” It was possible. The mind was a complicated and unpredictable thing.
She climbed into the seat. “I wasn’t. If I had been there, I’d have some sliver of memory, something.”
“What about the dreams?”
She swallowed hard. Based on the set of her jaw, the thought hadn’t been far from her mind. He circled around to the driver’s side and got in next to her. “Try to remember everything you can about that night.”
“I have. Again and again.”
“Try one more time.” He started the truck and backed from the space. He needed to get her home if Louie was the one looking for her. Sitting in the truck at dusk, they were too vulnerable.
She took a deep breath and expelled it, letting her head fall back against the seat. “It was a Friday. I’d gone over to Lizzie’s right after school. We were playing with her dolls. Her mom invited me to stay for dinner, and Lizzie asked if I could spend the night.”
She stopped speaking, and he glanced over at her. Her eyes were closed, her hands folded in her lap. When she started speaking again, her tone was wistful.
“The McDonalds were dirt-poor, as poor as we were, but I loved it over there. Those were the only times I truly felt safe.”
She drew in another breath and opened her eyes. “As soon as we’d eaten, Lizzie and I ran over to my house to get my stuff together. No one was there but Mom and Jenny. I was glad. I hurried through what I needed to do, because I never knew when Louie or one of my mom’s other men was going to show up.”
He shook his head, his sympathy for the terrified little girl warring with his anger at the irresponsible parent.
“We packed up my stuff—pajamas, a change of clothes for the next day, my toothbrush and hair brush. And we got out of there as fast as we could. When we left, there was still no one there but Mom and Jenny. Lizzie and I took turns fixing each other’s hair. Then we watched a Disney movie and went to bed. That’s the last thing I remember before waking up the next morning to Mrs. McDonald telling me my mom had been killed.”
She turned to look at him. “If Louie did it and thinks I know something, why didn’t he come after me sooner? Why wait till now?”
“You said he was in jail the first fifteen years after your mother�
��s murder. By the time he got out, he probably figured he’d gotten away with it. It would have been riskier for him to hunt you down and kill you than to let it go.” He pulled into the driveway and turned off the truck. “Besides, he wouldn’t have had any idea how to find you. You didn’t even have the same last name.”
Nicki put her hand on the door handle, then sat motionless, staring straight ahead. “The risk wasn’t there before, but it is now, with my mom’s murder case being reopened and the detectives talking to me. After twenty-two years, that loose end would need to be tied up. And if Jenny was telling the truth, finding me won’t be a problem.”
Her eyes filled with fear. “I’m sure she’s given him everything he needs to know.”
* * *
Nicki watched Joan lay out cake ingredients, her attention split between the woman’s cheerful chatter and Tyler’s one-sided phone conversation. As soon as they’d stepped into the house, he’d called Hunter, insisting that neither of them make any decisions until getting advice from their law enforcement buddy. Until then, the one thing he’d been adamant about was that she wasn’t leaving Cedar Key without him.
Now that she’d gotten inside and calmed her thoughts, her circumstances didn’t seem nearly as dire. In fact, maybe there was no danger at all. The person looking for her could have been anyone. Someone she’d known in college, a former coworker, a past neighbor. Maybe he didn’t give Libby his name because he wanted his visit to be a surprise.
Tyler’s voice drifted to her from the living room, louder now that he was once again facing the kitchen. Since beginning his phone call, he’d paced back and forth, his voice fading in and out. He’d finished telling Hunter about Louie and was currently relaying the conversation they’d had with Libby in The Market.
Nicki leaned against the counter as Joan pulled two mixing bowls from the cupboard, then proceeded to measure dry ingredients into the larger one. When finished, this creation was going to be a red velvet cake decorated with cream cheese frosting and pecan halves. Knowing Joan’s skill in the kitchen, it would be as pretty as the one pictured in the cookbook.
Tyler’s voice once again faded, and Nicki sighed. Jenny had done everything to destroy her happiness. And when all her attempts failed, she’d made one last desperate parting jab. Leaving her looking over her shoulder, terrified to step out of the house, was exactly what Jenny had wanted.
Joan cracked two eggs into the smaller bowl, then added the oil, milk and vanilla. The final ingredient was a one-ounce bottle of red food coloring. It split the oil, some penetrating to the bottom of the bowl, the rest spreading along the surface of the other ingredients.
Like blood.
Nicki closed her eyes against the image intruding into her thoughts. The woman being stabbed. Her mother. Blood everywhere. Pouring from her body, seeping into the carpet.
No. There was no reason for her to be haunted by those images. She hadn’t been there. She’d gone to spend the night with Lizzie next door.
And she’d forgotten Lavender.
The realization was a physical blow, knocking the air from her lungs. She’d forgotten Lavender and couldn’t sleep without him. So while Lizzie and Mrs. McDonald slept, she’d slipped out, across the yard and to her own house.
All she’d done was grab Lavender and run back to Lizzie’s, right? Surely she didn’t see her mother’s murder. She’d have remembered it if she had.
Without any effort on her part, the events of the night unfolded, playing through her mind like an old film reel. She followed the path of her younger self into the house, through the living room, down the hall and to her room, where she snatched Lavender from her bed. Jenny was asleep in the other one. In the bedroom at the end of the hall, loud voices erupted. Her mother and a man. An angry man.
She squeezed her eyes shut more tightly, and suddenly, it was all there, every gory detail dredged from the dark recesses of her mind. She leaned over the counter, hands splayed on the cool surface.
“Nicki?”
She straightened and spun in the direction of Tyler’s voice. He’d apparently finished his conversation with Hunter and stood in the doorway to the kitchen. Her legs buckled, and she slid down the front of the cabinet to the floor.
Joan stood staring at her, mouth agape, a wire whisk in her hand. Nicki struggled in a constricted breath. With three large strides, Tyler crossed the kitchen, then dropped to his knees in front of her. “What is it, sweetheart? Tell me what happened.”
“I was there.” Her tone was flat. The shock and fear had drained away, leaving her cold and numb.
Joan knelt on the other side of her and rested a hand on her shoulder. “What do you mean?”
“My mother’s murder. I was there.”
Tyler’s brows drew together. “How? You’d gone to your friend’s house.”
“I ran back home to get Lavender.” And she’d seen everything. Jenny was right.
Tyler sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. Joan straightened and stood, one hand clutching the other fist, the whisk still trapped inside. For several seconds, her lips moved, but no sound came out. Knowing Joan, she was probably praying.
Nicki pressed the side of her face to Tyler’s chest. His warmth surrounded her, helping to thaw the frozen places inside her.
“Before I could leave, there was a fight, my mom and a man. My mom screamed, and I ran from my room at the same time she ran from hers. A man was right behind her.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I recognized him.”
And she’d been terrified. All these years later, she could still taste the fear, knowing that if he saw her, he’d kill her.
“I couldn’t make it to the door, so I slipped behind the recliner in the living room, planning to hide until he was gone. It was dark, except for some dim light coming from the end of the hall. I stood there and waited.”
She drew in a shaky breath. “My mom ran past, but before she could get out of the room, he caught her, spun her around and threw her to the floor. He had a knife, and he stabbed her eight or ten... I don’t know how many times. It went on and on.”
A shudder shook her body, and Tyler’s arms tightened around her. For several moments, she sat in silence, drawing from his strength.
“I saw the whole thing. I stood there frozen, staring over the back of the recliner, holding on to Lavender. Then Jenny was there, almost beside me. She looked at Mom and Louie, then at me. Then she disappeared down the hall. Eventually Louie stopped. My mom raised her head one final time, looked at me and mouthed the word run. That’s when he saw me.”
“Who?”
“Louie. He looked right at me. The light shining down the hall illuminated his face, and what I saw there was pure evil.”
She shuddered again. Now that she’d remembered, she’d never forget. That menacing glare would haunt her for the rest of her life.
“I panicked. I had no doubt he was going to kill me just like he did my mother. So I ran back to my room, slammed the door and locked it. Jenny had been there when I’d gotten Lavender, but she was gone then. Or maybe she was hiding under the bed. A few seconds later, the doorknob rattled. Louie was trying to coax me to open the door, telling me he wouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t believe him.” By the tender age of seven, life had taught her a lot of lessons, one of which was never to trust the men who wandered in and out of her home.
“I opened the window, pulled my desk chair over and climbed out. Then I heard a crash. Louie had kicked in the door. But I didn’t look back. I ran as fast as I could to Lizzie’s, jumped into bed and pulled the covers up over my head. For the longest time, I lay there waiting for Louie to step into the room with that bloody knife. Even though I’d locked the back door, I was sure he was going to come after me. But he never did, and I finally fell asleep.”
And somehow over the course of the next few hours, the m
emory of what she’d seen had retreated to a remote corner of her mind, where it remained buried, undisturbed for twenty-two years.
Louie knew she was a witness. And he was coming after her. He was already in Cedar Key. It would just be a matter of time till he learned where she was staying.
And showed up on Andy and Joan’s doorstep.
Her mouth went dry. Whatever happened, she wasn’t going to bring Andy and Joan into it. Or Tyler, either, for that matter. Her mind raced. If she called the police, they’d likely put together twenty-four-hour surveillance.
But she was a sitting duck. All it would take was one well-aimed shot fired from inside the woods.
Or one shot that wasn’t so well-aimed and took out the wrong person.
No, there was only one way to ensure her friends’ safety.
Leave Cedar Key.
TWELVE
Nicki stiffened and pushed herself from Tyler’s arms. When she twisted to look at him, her eyes were wide and lit with fear.
“He’s coming after me. I have to go.” She rose to her feet. “I can’t stay. If I do, I’ll lead him here.”
Tyler stood, too, and grasped her hand. “You can’t leave. If you’re alone, you won’t stand a chance.”
“I won’t put you guys in danger.” She pulled her hand from his and spun away from him, then stalked toward her room.
He followed, leaving Joan standing in the kitchen. Andy had gone to the church for a men’s meeting and wouldn’t be home for some time yet, which was unfortunate. Tyler could have used the reinforcement.
He stopped in the doorway of the bedroom. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Packing.” She snatched the duffel bag she’d gotten from Allison the afternoon of the fire and stuffed clothes into it.
His chest tightened. When Nicki had her mind made up, it took an act of Congress to change it. “Nicki, stop. Let’s calm down and think this through.”
Buried Memories Page 15