I Never Planned on You

by Stefanie Jenkins

  “It was good. The girls send their love, and Kate says whenever you’re ready to get back on the market, you know where to find her.”

  He laughed, and I heard a mumble on the other end of the phone to which Zach responded, “Ky sends his love, babe.”

  I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Everything go okay here?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, it was fine. Leftover pizza is in the fridge. Dani was tired, so she went to bed.”

  It was my turn to nod. “I’m going to take a shower and head to bed, too. See ya tomorrow, man.”

  “Later,” Zach yelled as I headed into the hall toward our rooms.

  I was too busy lost in my own thoughts and looking at the floor that I didn’t notice the bathroom door swing open and Danielle walking out until she was pressed up against my chest. She made the cutest yelp, and I reached my arms out to steady her. Her skin was so soft, and holy shit she was only in a towel. Her hands squeezed the towel tighter since she almost lost her grip on it when she jumped. I had no intention of scaring her—I thought she had already gone to bed like Zach said, otherwise I may have been on the lookout for her. I needed to figure out what it was about this girl that made me so nervous. It took everything I had in me to keep my cock from being at full attention while she was standing in front of me in just a towel.

  “You okay? I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  I also didn’t mean for my hands to linger on her naked arms as long as they did, but once I had my hands on her, I wasn’t sure I could — or wanted to — take them off her. It was like her skin was setting me on fire, something I’d never felt before, and I’d had my hands on my fair share of women. Her eyes moved down to where I was still holding her, and I quickly released her from my grasp.

  I ran my hand through my hair, having no idea what to do next.

  “Yeah, I’m fine, but you’re kind of blocking my door.” Her tone matched her icy glare.

  I stepped to the side to allow her in the guest room. I definitely needed a shower now. Making my way to the bathroom, I looked over my shoulder and said softly as she entered her room, “Good night, Dani.” When I heard her door click shut, I finally relaxed.

  Stepping into the shower, I let the warm water run down my body before my hand found its way to my hard cock. I imagined my hand was actually hers, stroking me before dropping to her knees in front of me and wrapping those luscious lips of hers around me, teasing me with her tongue. My hand wrapped in her hair, pushing her head to take me further till I came down the back of her throat. With each pump, I imagined her blue eyes staring up at me while she took me in her mouth, enjoying it as much as I did.

  Trying to keep my sounds down, I made a fist and bit down on my knuckle, grunting as quietly as I could as I sent myself over the edge to my release, letting my load fall straight down the drain. Shit, that was intense. I placed my forehead against the cold tile. It hadn’t even been twelve hours that she’d been here, and I’d already jerked off to fantasies of her.

  I had gone straight to my room after the shower incident, thinking I would just crash hard, post-orgasm, and wake up feeling better, however this girl has somehow taken residency in my brain and I’m not sure what to do with that. Tossing and turning, I decide to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I don’t bother putting on shorts or a shirt—everyone should be asleep, so I don’t care if I’m walking around my house in just boxers. I quietly open my bedroom door and slowly walk past her closed door to the kitchen, grab my water, and slowly creep back. I place my ear to her bedroom door to see if I hear her awake, but I’m met with silence. I’m glad she is relaxed enough to have fallen asleep—that makes one of us. I tiptoe back into my room and finish my water knowing that I will probably have to take a piss at some point in the night, but whatever.

  If I’m going to be anything but useless tomorrow at work, then I better cut this shit out and fall asleep. I find the remote on the nightstand and turn on Netflix. Maybe I just need some background noise to drown out my thoughts. Turning on an episode of The Office, I barely make it through one episode before I am off in la-la land dreaming of that beautiful brunette sleeping just a few feet from me. Maybe in some way, she is dreaming of me too and we can meet up in our dreams, in a world where her heart hasn’t been crushed into a million pieces and could even fathom giving it to someone like me.

  T he past week, we have fallen into a groove. I cooked and cleaned up in gratitude for Zach and Kyler allowing me to stay here. I haven’t found a job yet, but I have a few good leads to follow up on. Thankfully I was paid pretty well at my last job, so I was able to save up a good amount since I never went out, lived a minimalist lifestyle, and needed to prove I could support myself on my own. I also haven’t reached out to my parents, but knowing Zach, they are well aware that I am here and alive and well. I honestly wouldn’t put it past them to have done few drive-bys, but I’m sure it took an incredible amount of strength for them not to get out of the car and barge into the house and find me.

  Haylee is another person I haven’t reached out to yet. All Zach has told me is that she is doing well. I feel guilty that I haven’t called her yet, but I was supposed to be her best friend and I just dropped her without a word. Asking about where she is and what she is doing in life almost feels like an intrusion. I figured when I finally have the courage to reach out to my parents, I will reach out to her too. Who knows, she might just tell me fuck off or hang up on me. If I were her, I would.

  With my back to Kyler, I turn the water on to begin doing the dishes from dinner. Zach still hasn’t arrived home yet, so I made sure to set aside a plate for him. Over the sound of the running water, I can hear the opening of the container that contained the cupcakes I had baked this afternoon—strawberry cupcakes with a champagne buttercream frosting. They became my signature cupcakes over the years. I always loved baking them when I was younger because I thought I was getting away with murder when Mom would buy me champagne for the frosting when I wasn’t even old enough to drink. I loved baking—one day I had planned to open my own bakery where I could spend all day doing what I loved and spend my nights with the man I loved. Emmett could come home from a hard day’s work at the office to dinner made and a fresh-baked dessert each night. We would need to find ways to make sure we kept all the extra pounds off from all the sweet treats, but with Emmett I couldn’t resist that smile.

  My breath catches as I try to push back the thought along with all the memories, hopes, dreams, and happily ever after. They all died four years ago along with Em. I can feel my eyes filling with tears, but I can’t do this now, here. I refuse to let them spill over, especially not in front of Kyler. Kyler Lawson…I don’t know much about him except for the fact he is Emmett’s replacement in my brother’s life.

  To keep from crying, I go to my happy place. It’s the only place that has gotten me through the past four years. Oh, how I wish I could just stay there and not in the bleak reality of life without him. My happy place is where I feel whole, not this sorry excuse of a shell. I envision Em standing next to me, putting his arms around my waist, his front to my back, rubbing his nose up and down on my neck as he inhales my vanilla perfume, kissing my shoulder before whispering…

  “Mmmmm…I love you, cupcake.”

  CRASH!

  I’m instantly pulled back to reality as I hear Kyler’s footsteps rushing over to me, avoiding the broken glass of the Pyrex casserole dish that I dropped. Glass is all over the counter and on the floor in front of the sink.

  “Fuck! Dani, are you okay?”

  I am in a trance still, frozen in space. Did I hear those words in real life? But how? I know they weren’t just in my head this time, right? Maybe I’m losing my mind.

  “Dani? Dani? Are you hurt? What happened?” Kyler is looking at me directly in the eyes, cupping my cheeks, trying to bring me down from my shock.

  His eyes drift down my body, inspecting me. “Holy shit, Dani, you’re bleeding.” Taking my hands, he safely escorts me to the
other side of the island and pulls out the stool for me to take a seat in. Kyler leaves the room and returns just as quickly as he left with a first aid kit in hand. Taking a seat next to me, he takes my left hand in his. There’s a gash on my palm. Blood has always made me a little queasy but not in this moment.

  “Dani? Look at me. What happened over there?”

  Finally making eye contact with him, I cock my head to the side. “Why are you looking at me like I’ve got three heads or something,” he asks me while cleaning my wound. It makes me flinch a little.

  “Ow, that stings.”

  “Well, I’m no doctor, but I don’t think you’ll need stitches. It looks worse than it is.”

  If only he knew the awful pain that’s on the inside. Studying him, I try to divert my attention away from my hand by looking into his eyes. Wow, they are the most beautiful shade of chestnut brown with golden specks in them. My gaze travels from his eyes down to his mouth. What would it feel like to press my lips against his? My stomach drops, realizing I just had that thought about another man. Someone not Emmett…what the hell is wrong with me?

  While I’m distracted with my inner turmoil, I didn’t notice Kyler finishing up with the bandage on my hand. He then raises my palm to his lips and presses a brief kiss over the bandage. It startles me to say the least. That is the first time another man has kissed me. Em was the only man to ever do any of those things.

  “Ummm, thank you.” I pull my hand back to my chest and take a moment to breathe before I go to get up off the stool. I must get up a little too fast because I am shaky on my feet when I stand. Maybe the thought of blood had made me weak after all.

  Kyler grabs my arm and says, “Why don’t you go lie down. I can clean this up.”

  I nod. Kyler heads to the mess I left on the floor while I make my way out of the kitchen. I glance over my shoulder, planning to steal one last look at this man who is messing with my head, but instead my eyes meet his as if we were magnetized. I swallow hard, wishing that I could explain this pull between us. His expression is intense and burning a hole right through me. He breaks eye contact first, and I make my escape, not looking back again.

  I am throwing away the last of the broken glass in the trash can, when Zach enters the kitchen, setting his keys and workbag on the counter.

  “Whoa! What happened in here?”

  He opens the fridge and grabs the leftovers of the delicious veggie lasagna Danielle had made earlier and two beers. He opens them both and passes one to me.

  “Care to explain?” He tips his fork toward the dustpan and broom by the trashcan before taking a bite.

  I shake my head. “Honestly, man, I don’t have a clue. I mean, your sister and I had a nice evening chatting, she was standing there doing the dishes, and I just had to try one of those amazing cupcakes she made. That shit is heaven, like borderline orgasmic.

  “I even confessed my undying love for the damn thing, telling the cupcake how much I loved it. The next thing I know, Dani dropped the Pyrex dish and it shattered everywhere. It scared the shit out of me. I ran over to her, but it was like she was paralyzed. It took me a few minutes to drag her out of the state she was in. She ended up cutting her hand.”

  “What? Is she okay?” His eyes widen with concern.

  “Yeah, it was just a little cut. I tended to the wound, and she ended up going to bed. I guess it just slipped out of her hands, but her reaction to it…it was strange.”

  Zach turns to me with a confused look similar to mine. “What exactly did you say to the cupcake?” He lets out a small chuckle, taking another bite of lasagna.

  Laughing, I look at him like are you for real? “I don’t know, man. ‘I love you, cupcake’ or something.”

  Zach blows out a breath and puts his head down on his arms, mumbling something under his breath.

  “Am I missing something here?” I take a sip of my beer and try to figure out the missing piece.

  “It’s not your fault, Ky. You didn’t know.”

  “That she doesn’t believe in love at first bite?” I ask jokingly. This whole conversation is a little weird. What am I missing here?

  “Emmett.” I’m still not following here. “Emmett used to call her Cupcake.” He pauses. “He used to say ‘I love you, Cupcake,’ and she would respond, ‘Forever and always.’ God they were sickening.”

  I snicker. “Hmm, sounds like another couple I know.”

  He laughs and shakes his head. “Nope, not even close.”

  I settle into my seat and place my head in my hands. “She must think I’m the biggest asshole ever.”

  “Hey, don’t worry about it. How could you know? She won’t talk about it, about him.” He takes a swig of his beer. “I guess I should be happy that she came home, huh.”

  He gets up and places his empty container in the sink and walks the empty beer bottle over to the trash can. It clanks against the shattered glass when he drops it in. “Sorry about all that, man. Thanks for cleaning this whole mess up and taking care of her hand.” Slapping me on the back, he grabs his workbag and heads toward his room.

  Danielle Jacobs really is the whole deal, beautiful and talented, but I have to remember that she is off-limits. She’s so closed off, and while I wouldn’t want to take Emmett’s place, maybe one day she’ll see me as something other than his replacement.

  I finish tidying up the kitchen, grab another beer, and head toward the living room to watch some TV.

  “What a fucking workout. I’m not gonna be able to move my arms for the rest of the weekend.” Zach stretches his arms out after he parks his Jeep in the driveway.

  “Hey, I didn’t say I was gonna go easy on ya, ya fuckin pussy.” I punch his arm as I pass him on the walkway to the front door. He winces and rubs his arm as he meets me on the front porch, while I insert and turn my house key into the front door lock. When we reach the living room, we’re both stopped dead in our tracks by the most amazing voice I have ever heard. The shower was running from our bathroom. Dani must be playing some music or something.

  “Wow, I haven’t heard her sing in so long.” Zach leans up against the arm of the couch and takes a drink from his water bottle.

  Holy shit, that is Dani actually singing? “That’s your sister singing? As in that’s her voice?” He nods. We both stay in place, listening to the emotion in her voice while she sings. She must not have heard us come in.

  I can hear her crying while singing. Shit, I’m on the verge of tears just listening to her. She has the voice of a fucking angel. We continue to listen in silence as she sings a second song. If you heard her voice, you wouldn’t have been able to move either. The first song I only recognized because I saw Snow Patrol in concert once in college, but this one, I don’t know that I’ve heard it before.

  “Damn, she can cook, and she can sing. Is there anything your sister can’t do?”

  Zach’s head is still down. “Yeah. Moving on.”

  “Huh?” I’m not sure what he means by that, but before I can ask more, he rises to his feet.

  “Nothing, man. Just that song.” He speaks so softly that if I wasn’t really paying attention, I would’ve missed it. He looks back at the bathroom door and then walks to his room. I’m not sure what that was about. I hear the shower turn off, and my heart begins to race knowing that I will see her in just a few minutes. I’ve never been affected by a girl this way. I start to panic and try to figure out what I should do. Should I be sitting here and tell her I was listening? No, that sounds creepy. I can run to my room or the kitchen and hide till I know she is in her room. Before I can make up my mind, the bathroom door opens. Holy shit, she’s only in a towel…again.

  Damnit! Don’t stare, dude.

  She has her head down as she walks out, not noticing me standing there frozen. When she finally looks up, she yells, “Fucking hell, Kyler! You need to stop doing that.” She tightens her grip on her towel. Wow, I’m having a bit of déjà vu here.

  Her eyes are bloodshot and rimmed
with red, a telltale sign that she’s been crying. I go to step forward to comfort her and think better of it—one, that might be weird, and two, she is in a towel.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was home,” she says shyly once her breathing goes back to normal.

  I don’t want to embarrass her or myself for that matter since I have been sitting here listening to her, so I decide the better approach is to say, “We just walked in the door.”

  Her eyes take me in. I’m covered in sweaty gym clothes; I know this shirt is sticking to my body in a possibly unappealing way. After a few moments, my ego starts to swell—and so is another part of my body with the way she’s looking at me. Holy fuck, Dani is totally checking me out. I need to calm down or she’s going to notice my excitement down below. Clearly, my dick doesn’t want to listen to me and is enjoying the attention a little too much.

  Bringing her attention back to me, I duck down to look her in the eyes. “Earth to Dani,” I joke.

  She snaps out of her trance. “What?”

  “Can I get in there to take a shower?” I ask with a smirk.

  “Oh yeah, sure. Let me just grab my things and the bathroom’s all yours.”

  I watch her gather up her belongings, and then she slips by me and heads to her room. I let out the breath I’ve been holding and walk into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. As I turn on the shower and strip from my gross clothes, I can still smell her vanilla scent. I wonder if that’s perfume or body wash. It smells heavenly. What the hell is wrong with me?

  I shake the thoughts from my mind before I need to rub one out here in the shower…again…with her just a few feet away from me. I’m thankful my post-gym routine includes a cold shower. It is definitely needed.

  I WALK OUT of my room after my weekly check-in call with my mom and find Zach on the couch watching what looks like might be home movies. “Hey, man,” I say, and he startles.