“Isn’t that the same guy we sent packing last weekend?” Snake says, now that Edward is gone. He’s staring at Evelyn, directing the question to her, not me. “And aren’t you the same girl he was harassing then, too? Wait a second. You and Bash snuck off together not too long after that, if I recall?” His head whips around to me now, his braided beard flapping against his own cheek with the momentum. Shit, here we go.
I cast a grimace toward Evelyn and she withers slightly under it. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid by telling her to stay the fuck away. There’s not much I can say to explain this one away. There are too many coincidences happening, and that’s the kind of thing that leads to questions if they aren’t given a good excuse.
“Yeah, that’s right.” I nod. “This here is… Eve. She’s my new ol’ lady. She was meeting me here, but I guess she ran into her stalker again.”
Snake lets out a surprised sound that seems like a mix between a laugh and a shout. “Ho-lee shitballs. Knox, you hear that? Bash has finally got himself a girlfriend. Jez will be so upset.”
“Yeah, I guess she will,” Knox agrees, his face turning a bit red behind his full beard. Ripper casts me a sideways glare, as if sizing me up, before granting Evelyn the same scrutiny. He knows something stinks about this whole thing, but he’s so goddamn stupid I’m hoping he won’t figure it out.
“Meh, Jez has someone else keeping her happy lately,” I say, slapping Knox on the shoulder. “Right, Knox?”
Knox pulls a cigarette out and slips it between his lips as he shrugs. That man has it bad for Jez. I’m glad she’s been taking more of an interest in him lately.
“So, Eve, how is it that you’ve attracted the eye of our fearless leader?”
I eye Evelyn carefully, worried that she’ll blow everything in surprise. Calling her my ol’ lady was probably a mistake, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. Now we have to sell it. But she surprised me with the Edward turnaround, so who knows? At least she isn’t wearing her fancy work clothes again. Doesn’t seem like Snake remembers that, which is good. I’m surprised that Evelyn didn’t dress up for work, even if it is a Saturday.
She smiles at Snake, and then turns it to me, giving me a wink. “I guess I just suck a mean cock.”
Everyone is quiet for a second, and I don’t dare make a move. Suddenly, both Knox and Snake burst out laughing and I force myself to join in. “I’ll say it again: ho-lee shit. You’re one lucky son of a bitch, Bash. Where do I find me a chick that looks like a magazine model, but has a filthy fucking mouth? That’s like my fucking dream.” He keeps laughing, and then he turns to me with a more serious expression. “Does she really suck as good as she says, and if so, any chance this girl is going to work the club like Jez, or are you keeping her all to yourself?”
“She’s mine for now, so hands the fuck off,” I say. “And as for her oral skills, yes. In fact, take care of things out here. All this talk of sucking cock has made me want to take Eve back to my office for a bit.”
I smile at Snake and then put my hand on Evelyn’s back, guiding her not so gently toward the door to the back offices. She and I have a lot to discuss, and we need privacy to do it.
As soon as we get into my office I slam the door and whirl on her.
“What the fuck are you doing here? I explicitly told you to avoid this place.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I really am. Edward tricked me—”
“Tricked you? How the hell does he trick you into coming here? Why the hell would you agree to meeting here? I thought you weren’t even talking to that fuck anymore? Why would you ever agree to meet him again in the first place?”
I can see tears forming in the corners of Evelyn’s eyes as she shakes her head. As angry as I am, the sight of them releases some of the steam coursing through my veins as if a valve was opened, but I struggle to ignore it and hang on. Showing up here was unacceptable.
“You’ve put me in a really shit place, Evelyn. The two sides of my life are supposed to be separate. Everything that links them puts me at risk.”
“I know!”
“And hell, if Edward did end up suing me, that would have been the end. I couldn’t hide from it if that happened.”
“I know! I know. I don’t think he’s going to sue you, though… I think he’s done here.”
“Yeah. That was quick thinking, turning it around like that. Still, we shouldn’t even be in this position.”
My anger is faltering, but I don’t want it to. Evelyn put me in a very dangerous position and I’m starting to wonder again whether bringing her in to all of this was a mistake. Was I thinking with the wrong head when I hired her? I’ve kept myself from having relationships for so long just so that I could avoid making mistakes like this. Emotion makes people do stupid things, and I have enough trouble keeping a lid on my anger and rage—I don’t need to add love, or even lust, into the mix. Why the hell is she meeting with that asshole again, anyway? Being tricked sounds like bullshit to me. Maybe she wanted to be fooled. Maybe she still has some feelings for him. Maybe I should have let him pull her away and out of my life for good. The thought of that brings my rage back to the surface, though.
“If I hadn’t shown up just now, what would have happened? Stonewall said you worked for him. Present tense. Did you agree to go back to him? To be his little fuck toy again, in exchange for a better view than you get at Piston?”
My face burns and my ears ring as Evelyn slaps me. I turn my head back around to stare at her, more in shock than anything else. She seems just as shocked.
“Oh, my God. I didn’t mean to…” Her shoulders sag. “Look, Bash… this isn’t working. Clearly. I mean, look at us. We do nothing but bring out the worst in each other.” She takes a deep breath, then puffs it back through her lips. “I think I should just clear out my desk on Monday…”
She can’t even finish her apology before I pull her toward me and press my lips against hers. Hiring her may have been a mistake, but what’s done is done, and the fact that my chest hurts at the mere mention of her leaving makes me realize that there is no way I can let her go now.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
EVELYN
“Hans is on his way to the airport.” Sebastian doesn’t even look up from his computer when I speak.
“Fine. Good.” That’s his way of dismissing me, and he’s been talking to me like that all day. What the hell did he kiss me for the other day, if he was just going to follow it up with ignoring me completely? I didn’t hear from him at all on Sunday. The kiss on Saturday was passionate, but we both agreed when it was over that we couldn’t let it go any further. But that didn’t stop me from sort of expecting him to show up at my door the next day. Or was that hoping more than expecting?
I turn on my heel and leave, unwilling to show him that this whole thing bothers me. It shouldn’t. I don’t want to get involved with my boss again, and I decided that even before I knew what kind of a man Sebastian really is. All the complications he comes with. Working for him is enough. I don’t need to be involved any further.
I sit down at my desk, my computer monitor shining back against me and open to the next bit of work that I need to get started on.
Only I can’t get that kiss out of my head. I haven’t felt so weak-kneed since I was a teenager, making out for the first time with Tommy Knacker. He was on the football team, and just about all of my friends thought he was the hottest guy in school. He was the whole reason I tried out for the cheerleading squad, despite not having much of a sense of balance or any ability to kick or jump above my waist. I didn’t make the team, of course, but later on Tommy came up to tell me that he thought my tryout went well, and he thought it was crap that I didn’t make the squad. I knew he was lying, but it was nice to hear. So nice that I let him feel me up behind the bleachers that night as my tongue touched a man’s for the first time. Butterflies and weak knees don’t begin to describe that first real experience, and I had figured those feelings wer
e reserved strictly for first time high school love affairs, since I’ve never felt them again since.
Until Sebastian.
The kiss on Saturday felt more meaningful, even, than both times we’d had sex. I mean, the sex was amazing. It was raw and powerful and filled with emotion, but a completely different kind. It was pent up sexual desire and pure physical attraction that was given free reign to express itself.
The kiss, though… it stirred up feelings that I haven’t felt in a long time. With Edward, our relationship was more about comfort. I was new to the city, he was my powerful boss who was showing interest in me. I was getting more responsibility in his company, and I think I equated that with being loved despite the fact that we would barely spend any time together and he was busy fucking that blond bimbo at the office. I never felt that tingly, stomach churning, wobbly feeling when we kissed. Even at the beginning.
Why am I feeling it now, for a man I barely know? What is it about him that turns me on and strikes me so deeply? It’s not like he has done anything incredibly romantic for me. Sure, he’s stood up for me against Edward. Twice, actually. But in between he’s been nothing but a jerk. Hell, two seconds before he kissed me, he was yelling at me. Then I slapped him. I’ve never actually slapped anyone before, despite lots of people deserving it. It was just a reflex, really, after accusing me of agreeing to go back to sleeping with Edward in return for my old job back. Why would he say that?
What does he care, anyway? I don’t owe him anything. I haven’t even been here a week. It’s not like it would hurt him if I left.
Not professionally, anyway.
Does Sebastian have feelings for me? Did he get so angry because he was jealous?
The thought of that big, strong, menacing biker lashing out in a fit of jealousy brings a smile to my face. I shouldn’t really care. We aren’t getting together. It would be a complete mistake. One I’ve made before and swore not to make again. But Sebastian and Edward are two very different men.
Yeah. Sebastian is much more dangerous.
And a hell of a lot sexier.
Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m standing back in Sebastian’s doorway, staring at him. Even when I step over the threshold, he’s completely oblivious to my presence, his eyes focused on his monitor.
Shutting his door with a thud gets his attention.
“Evelyn?” His dark eyes finally shift to me as he raises an eyebrow.
“What the hell are we doing, Sebastian?”
“Well, I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m trying to get some work done.”
“Not with that. With us.” As soon as I say it, I feel stupid. There is no “us.” I just sound like I have a stupid schoolgirl crush, but it’s too late. It’s out now, so I have to just keep on going. “With that kiss. I thought we weren’t… I thought you were going to fire me, but then you kissed me instead. Why?”
“Evelyn, I don’t have time for this, I have work to do.” I can see by his expression that he’s annoyed by the question, but too bad. I’m more annoyed at having to ask it in the first place.
“No time… right. You’re too busy running this big company by day and your club at night. You have no time for anything. Except maybe slipping a tongue into your assistant’s mouth. You had time for that. But there’s no time to talk about it, right?”
“Evelyn—”
“I know, I know. What’s done is done. Sebastian Redding doesn’t focus on the past, he only moves forward. So was kissing me a mistake that you’re trying to move on from? I want to know why you did it in the first place, about ten seconds after accusing me of returning to be Edward’s whore, and about two seconds after I slapped you for it.”
If only I could read what he hides behind those dark pools of eternity that he calls eyes. I would love to know exactly what Sebastian is thinking right now, but his face is as unreadable as always.
“Romantic relationships come with too much risk,” he finally says.
“All we did was kiss, Sebastian. I’m not asking you to marry me. I just want to know what the hell is going on. Either we’re working together, or we’re dating, or… I promised myself that I wouldn’t mix the two again. But I can’t do that if…”
“I know, it was a mistake. This whole thing is a mistake.” Sebastian lets out a huge sigh and leans back in his chair, turning away from me to stare out his window, as always.
I blink, a pang of apprehension resonating through me. “What whole thing? Do you mean hiring me? Or meeting me?”
Sebastian doesn’t answer for a moment. When he does, it’s only one word. “Both.”
My stomach drops so far down I’m sure it will splatter all over my feet. I quickly turn toward the door. I need to get out of here. He’s right. This whole thing was a mistake.
“Wait.”
I stop, hand on the knob and ready to yank it open as tears begin to burn in my eyes. This is so stupid. What the hell do I care about this job, or this guy? I just met him a week ago. I don’t want him to see the shame I’m feeling at caring so much, so I keep facing away even as I hear him get up and walk toward me.
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, it is, but not the way you’re taking it. Not the way it sounds.” I feel one of his big hands touch my shoulder, but I keep looking away, trying to will the tears back down into their ducts before they start to spill down my cheeks.
“Evelyn. Let me explain. Please, come and sit down.” Gently, he squeezes my shoulder and pulls to turn me. I let him, but keep my head down and yank away as I walk over to the chair in front of his desk and drop into it.
“Fine. Explain.” I can’t say anything beyond that without risking Sebastian hearing my voice crack.
He’s silent for a while as he walks back to the window that he loves to stare out of so much. I can see the reflection of his face in the glass, but he’s not looking back at me. He’s staring out, back to the east end of the city where his club is. It feels like a couple of minutes before he finally speaks. It at least gives me time to regain my composure. Gives me time to realize he’s probably right. This was all a big mistake. I should have gone with my first instinct when I turned this job down. I should have never agreed to give it a try.
I almost forget that he’s there and his deep voice startles me when he finally begins to speak.
“I told you before that the MC are like a family to me, but what you don’t understand is how troubled they are. They’re on a dark path, Evelyn, and I’m the only one that can keep them from self-destructing.”
“What does that have to do with me? With us?” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice, despite what I had just told myself seconds ago. It probably was a mistake to start working here, but I want to be the one that decides that, not him.
“This whole thing,” Sebastian turns to face me now, gesturing around him and then toward the window, “Piston, the MC… it’s a delicate balancing act. There are about a million moving parts, and if one thing goes wrong, the whole thing collapses. And it doesn’t just take me down. Piston employs thousands. Not just in Chicago, but in three different countries now. And then there’s the MC. Those guys… if the shit goes down for them, they don’t just lose their jobs. They end up going to prison.”
For all the control Sebastian has over his emotions, it’s clear that the idea of all of that pains him.
“I’ve spent years figuring out how to walk the tightrope between the MC and Piston. One misstep, and it all comes crashing down. There are so many points of failure, Evelyn. Too many variables. It’s hard enough for me to keep track of them, when I’m the only one that can fail. To bring someone else into this…” I’ve lost him again. He’s a million miles away, caught in the curvature of the horizon.
I’m finally starting to understand him. I give him a moment and collect my thoughts before I speak, trying to decide if I really want to say the words that are on the tip of my tongue. But the longer they sit there, the surer I am that I have to say them.
<
br /> “You don’t have to do it alone.” My voice is soft, and I’m not even sure that he heard me until he shakes his head.
“It’s not fair to bring someone else in. It’s not safe. The MC are… as much as I’ve tried to reform them, it hasn’t really been working as planned. I underestimated how much some of these guys enjoy being the badass. I can hand them a silver fucking spoon, but they’d rather go and steal a copper one. These are still dangerous men, Evelyn.” He turns to look at me again, his dark eyes hard and his jaw stiff. “I’m still a dangerous man.”
Silver and Chrome: A Bad Boy MC Romance Page 13