"Judy? Is that you?"
"No, it's Amber," she sighed. "Can I come for a visit today?"
"Of course, Judy dear. I'd love to see you. Is your brother coming as well?"
"No, just me," she said. "I'll be there in an hour."
"Okay dear."
She hung up the phone with a heaviness in her chest as she walked back to the bathroom and turned on the water. Her maternal grandmother had lived with her and her parents from the time Amber was 12, helping to raise her just as puberty was starting to confuse her world. Nana had always been a more calming and balanced presence than her own mother, her easy-going attitude a sharp contrast to her mother's exacting expectations. Her father had largely stayed out of most things, siding with her mother whenever he was put on the spot.
But then Alzheimer's had started when Amber was 15. At first, they didn't really notice it. Nana was in her seventies so it was normal that she would forget things. But then it got worse, and she started to mix people up or to find them completely unfamiliar - often forgetting Amber entirely or confusing her with her mother Judith. Soon she was disoriented and confused more often than not.
When Amber was 16, her grandmother fell down the stairs, breaking her hip. She never fully recovered from that, and needed a wheelchair from then on. It fell to Amber to take care of her at nights while her parents worked, having shifted their jobs around so that they were more available during the day while she was at school. She would help feed and bath her, show her pictures of the family and try to help her remember. Mostly she just spent time with her. It was during that time that she realized how much she enjoyed helping people, and considered becoming a nurse.
But after high school, her family didn't have much money since they had spent a lot of it on medical bills. Her father died of a heart attack when she was 18, and her mother ended up losing her job at around the same time. She was able to find another one pretty quickly, but it wasn't as flexible with the hours, even though it paid more. That meant that she wouldn't be around during the day, so Amber gave up on the idea of college altogether and got a job at the bar so she would be available for Nana until her mother came home.
Within a year, though, Nana had deteriorated too far, and was beyond her ability to care for properly. They'd had to move her into a home. When she left, so did Amber.
It had been too long since she'd been for a visit. It would be the perfect thing to get her mind off of Joel.
Chapter Forty-Two
Joel
Joel got to Rock House just before 9 A.M. full of energy. He was glad he had slept for hours before Amber had come home, or he'd probably be a zombie today.
After their fight, he had headed over to Neutron's, the bar that Randy, the underground fight club organizer, usually frequented. When he had been fighting and winning, most of their nights would end at Neutron's where they would party until the wee hours of the morning. The only reason he came along was because Randy would always be buying, flush with the night's take from all of the bets. Joel could score some food and a couple of beers without having to dip into his own savings, and even when he had to fight the next day it was never until after dark, giving him plenty of time to rest.
Things hadn't changed, and Randy had been there celebrating with a few young fighters who Joel didn't recognize. Randy was happy to see Joel, and even happier when he told him he wanted to fight again. News about Joel's tournament at Golden Dragon had reached the promoter and he thought it would help spur some gambling on the man who had come so close to fighting Carlos Alvarez. Apparently Carlos had become a big deal around town as well, as he was slated to fight in a televised event for Titan, which was rumored to often be used as a farm league for some of the bigger players like the UFC, Strikeforce or PrideFC.
Randy told Joel that he could set up a fight for that very night, and Joel had jumped at the chance to earn some money again. He was also excited about being able to release some of his temper. Rock House would help with that as well, but it was far more satisfying to feel his bare knuckles slam into flesh than the bounce of the rubber gloves he had to wear during practice. He left soon after speaking with Randy and was able to get in almost three more hours of sleep, meaning he was rested and ready to go for training.
The other guys were already there and had started their warm-up by the time Joel met them at their corner of the mat.
"Got somewhere more important to be, Slater?" Blake asked as soon as the new fighter joined them.
"I thought we started at nine," he replied.
"We don't just do the bare minimum here, Slater. That might be what you're used to, but it doesn't fly at Rock House."
"Hey, why don't you go fuck yourself?" Joel shot back. He was in no mood for dealing with Blake being an asshole again.
Blake stopped what he was doing and walked forward, pressing his chest up against Joel. "You want to repeat that, you freeloading rookie?"
"Sure, why don't-"
"Guys, guys, come on," Chris said, wedging his hands between the two men and pushing them apart. "You know how Shawn feels about getting into personal fights. You want to get kicked out?"
Blake sneered at Joel and lifted his chin before turning on his heel. "Keep your mouth in line, Slater. Your training gear only protects your vitals."
Joel snorted at the veiled threat, opening his mouth to reply, but a warning glare from Chris made him swallow his retort. He was right. Blake wasn't worth getting kicked out. They could settle their differences when they were sparring.
Despite the fact that he had more distracting him today than he had yesterday, Joel was able to focus his anger and emotions into his session. Even still, when it came time to spar, he made sure to step up to Blake immediately to show the bigger man that he wasn't intimidated.
He could feel the eyes of the other fighters on them as they faced off, only half paying attention to their own matches.
As soon as they started, Blake lunged forward, just as he had last time. Joel hadn't forgotten that opener or the man's surprising speed, though, so he was ready. He moved quickly out of the way, throwing his elbow and catching Blake on the back as he passed. The big man turned back around to face him before Joel could do any other damage.
They began to circle now, with Blake more wary about his approach. All of a sudden, he threw a kick towards Joel's midsection which he barely dodged, but then followed it up with a quick jab that snapped his head back. Blake moved forward, trying to catch Joel before he had a chance to recover but Joel was ready, throwing his own right handed punch.
It was too slow, and Blake grabbed his extended arm with his left and pulled Joel off balance as he swung his other arm over Joel's shoulder, connecting both together into a kimura. His right leg hooked behind Joel and he tripped him as both men fell to the ground. Joel knew he was in trouble as Blake started to move the trapped arm sideways towards Joel's back. The pain of the arm lock was excruciating, but Joel resisted tapping out and instead put all of his energy into yanking his leg out from under Blake's in one explosive movement. As soon as it was free, he rolled forward, releasing his arm from the submission and dragging it out from under the bigger man.
He leapt on top of Blake, swinging his body around and into a full mount position, reversing the fortunes of the two men by giving himself the advantage now. From that position, he started to unleash his fists against the other man's helmeted head. In a typical fight, this would be pretty effective in quickly incapacitating an opponent, but between the gloves and the helmet he knew he wasn't really doing any real damage.
Blake then jerked his hips up, throwing Joel forward as his opponent slid out and brought his legs up, wrapping them around Joel who refused to be thrown off. Their positions had changed again and Blake was now in full guard. The two men spent the rest of the session in a stalemate until time was called by Kingston who was sitting out and watching.
Blake's legs loosened and Joel rolled out. As he did, he heard the other man grunt. "Better."
Joel didn't spar with Blake again for the rest of the day, instead spending most of his time working on submissions with Chris. By the time he left, it was time for dinner and he headed back to the shelter. With luck, he could get a quick meal there and then take a nap before his fight tonight. He had suggested the submission work to Chris today on purpose, knowing that working on arm bars and leg locks wouldn't leave him quite as exhausted as he had been last night after training, and it had worked. But he still wanted to rest so that he came to the fight ready to win.
Chapter Forty-Three
Amber
"Hi Nana," Amber said as she opened the door to her grandmother's room. She had knocked but there was no answer. The elderly woman was sitting on a blue, Victorian style chair in the corner and looking out of the window to the courtyard of the home. There were some people out there, walking and talking. A little girl was laughing as she clung to the fingers of what was probably her grandfather.
Amber's grandmother turned, a look of confusion on her face as her brow furrowed. Some days she recognized her granddaughter and some days she didn't.
"Judy! How are you dear!" Today, it seemed as though she thought Amber was her mother again. It was easier to just play along than to try to explain it. Previous attempts had just left her heartbroken when she couldn't get through to her.
"I'm fine. Do you have your hearing aid in?"
"Oh, yes dear, it's right here." Nana reached over to the table beside her chair and picked up the small piece of plastic, bringing it up to her head and fastening it on her ear.
"It's good to see you," Amber said, once her grandmother could hear her properly.
"You, too, dear. Is Robert with you?" Robert was Amber's uncle, or had been, until he had died of cancer last year. It was another conversation she wasn't up for having yet again. "No, he couldn't make it."
Nana looked disappointed, but Amber had seen what she would look like when she found out he had died for the 100th time, and a little disappointment was much better. "Of course," the old woman said. "He's probably busy with the little ones."
The little ones were older than Amber now, but she just nodded.
"How have you been feeling?" she asked.
"Not bad," her grandmother responded. She always said the same thing. Nana didn't like to complain. She did look good, though. Amber was happy to see that this home was taking care of her, she still felt guilty at having to put her here.
"I wish I could have helped you more," she said, walking over and sitting down on the little bench next to her. Nana's hand was on the arm rest of her chair, so Amber reached over and placed hers on top, giving her grandmother a little squeeze.
"Of course, dear." She said that whenever she wasn't sure what the other person was talking about. It had started out when she was first diagnosed and trying to hide her deterioration from the family, but once it had taken hold the habit just stuck. These days, that phrase often made up the majority of their conversations.
"Are you still with that man, what's his name? Stanley?" Nana was stuck far in the past this time, Amber wasn't even aware of a Stanley in her dating history. But it was likely that Nana had latched on to the fact that Amber looked so young and her disease addled brain had placed her back 40 years or so, to when her own mother was young and dating. Amber smiled, recognizing the opportunity.
"No, I've met someone new. His name is Joel."
"Oh, that's nice dear. Does he treat you well?"
"Usually," she nodded. "But we're fighting at the moment."
"Oh, that's too bad. Well, you know when your father and I would fight, I would find that if I just apologized, that would usually fix things right up. Even if it was him that was in the wrong, which was most of the time." Her grandmother gave her a conspiratorial smile that Amber hadn't seen in a long time and she grinned back.
"It's a bit more complicated than that, I'm afraid. He left, I don't even know where he is."
"Hmph. Well, you know, if he's fool enough to leave a girl like you and not come back, then he's too big a fool for you."
Amber smiled. There was truth to that. She had only really known Joel for a couple of weeks, and as Simon had pointed out, she didn't even really know him. Why was she so smitten with him, anyway?
Her grandmother started to cough and Amber stood up, grabbing a tissue and holding it in front of her mouth. "Thank you, dear," Nana said.
"Nana, have you been eating?" Amber asked, noticing a tray of uneaten food on the dresser at the other end of the room.
"Of course, dear," she said. Amber frowned, unsure what that meant. Nana would often forget to eat when she had been taking care of her, and it got to the point where she would have to literally sometimes put the food right in her mouth to get her to remember that she was hungry. But once she could get her to put something in her mouth, it usually sparked her appetite.
She bent down and picked up the bag she had brought. "I brought you some things," Amber said, opening it up. Inside were mostly just an assortment of pictures, but there were also a few chocolates that her grandmother had always been fond of but rarely indulged in. She opened one up and gave it to her.
"My, what a treat," she said, popping the candy into her mouth. Amber smiled. At least she was eating something. The way Amber figured it, at 80 years old you were entitled to dessert first.
"Now, tell me about this boy," her grandmother said, smiling at her.
Amber laughed, happy that Nana was so interactive today. "Well, let's see. He's very handsome..." she began.
She stayed long enough to make sure that Nana ate her next meal and then Amber made her way to the bar for work. At the end of the night, she declined Simon's offer of a repeat of the previous nights festivities and raced home, anxious to see if Joel had returned again. Her heart felt heavy when she opened the door to an empty apartment.
He was obviously still upset. She felt sick to her stomach when she thought about some of the things he'd said, what he'd gone through. An abusive and alcoholic father, being kicked out by both parents and left with nothing and no one. No wonder he hadn't wanted to talk about his past. He was ashamed of it. But it made her sad to think that he felt that way. If only he had trusted her enough to confide in her, she could have told him it was nothing to be ashamed of, none of that was his fault.
But now it might be too late.
He taught me that no one can be trusted. That's one lesson I should have paid more attention to.
Joel's words echoed in Amber's head. Was he ever coming back?
As if in response, she could hear her grandmother's voice reply.
If he's fool enough to leave a girl like you and not come back, then he's too big a fool for you.
Maybe Nana was right.
Chapter Forty-Four
Joel
Joel decided to walk to the fight. The night was cool, and he had time to kill after not being able to nap for very long. The shelter had been noisy tonight, and he had too much on his mind to relax.
His father was dead. That thought spun around his brain, confusing him with the range of emotions it dislodged with each revolution. He was happy. Elated even, that he would never have to see Darryl's twisted scowl again. But there was also a deep rooted tension within him, bubbling beneath the surface. A dark rage whose source eluded him.
When Amber had told him about it, he hadn't been surprised, especially to know he'd been driving drunk. Darryl had done that all the time, and it was more amazing that it had taken this long for it to catch up with him. But the next thing that had gone through his head was that his death was too quick. Too easy. For all the pain and suffering he had inflicted on him and his mother, he would have preferred to hear about how Darryl had suffered a bit first.
Growing up, Joel had often fantasized about being the cause of that suffering. When he'd first started taking secret martial art training at school, the original goal had been to be able to defend himself and his mother. As time went on and he showed an ap
titude for it, he started to imagine really laying into his father. He'd have dreams where he would pound the older man's face until it was barely recognizable and then wake up, his heart pounding. Not out of terror or fear, but excitement.
But he never acted on it. His mother would always defend Darryl, and then when she didn't stop the man from kicking Joel out, he realized that she probably still loved him in some sick and twisted way. He'd grown up trying to protect her from that monster, loving her and often placing himself in danger to protect her. When she sided with her husband in sending Joel out on his own with absolutely nothing, it had broken his heart and steeled his resolve that he was on his own in this world and could never really trust anyone else. Eventually, he came to appreciate that he owed his parents nothing, and he resolved to keep his relationships with others just as simple. If you didn't owe anything to anyone, then they had no power over you. He could leave whenever he wanted with nothing holding him back.
Silver and Chrome: A Bad Boy MC Romance Page 56