Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he hit redial. It immediately went to voice mail. With a round of creative curses, he left another message.
“Miranda, please call. Don’t panic, but I’ll be at the hospital. Jackson got stung, and…just call. I need you.”
****
Her phone beeped. Another voice mail. Miranda didn’t need to check the display to know it was from Cole. He’d called three times today and twice last night. The man deserved a medal for persistence.
Throwing down the book she was too distracted to read, she wandered out onto the deck. Working in the garden had given her too much time to think—and thinking about Cole was the last thing she wanted to do. Working on quilt squares had been a disaster, her inattention requiring the removal of several ineptly sewn seams. With a quiet sob, she leaned against the railing and watched a hummingbird flit around the hanging feeder. The wings were a blur of motion, dizzying in their speed as the bird sipped the red nectar.
By contrast, the minutes and hours dragged. If she was at work, at least she’d have the kids to keep her occupied. Instead, she relived the hour she’d spent in bed with Cole, over and over…
Wiping away one tear then another, Miranda squared her shoulders. She’d call a friend, maybe go see a movie this evening, anything to combat the loneliness, the constant ache of missing Cole. But first, she’d delete all his messages. Succumbing to the urge to listen to his voice was one trap she wouldn’t fall into.
One after the other, she hit the delete button, but when the final message started, her finger froze. “Oh my God.” She dialed his number but got only the recorded message. “Damn. Damn. Damn.” Why wasn’t he picking up?
Grabbing her purse, she locked the door and headed for the car. Don’t panic. She pulled out of the driveway and pressed down on the gas. The little bug surged ahead, tires squealing on the asphalt as she turned toward Amarillo. In under an hour, she parked, then ran through the lot to the ER doors. When they swished open, she strode straight to the desk manned by the nurse with the mullet haircut.
“Back again?” The woman’s lips pursed. “They’re in the cubicle you used last time. I’m sure you remember the way.”
“Thank you.” Her sandals slapped against the linoleum as she hurried down the hall. A deep voice stilled her hand as she reached to open the curtain.
“He’s going to be okay?”
“He’ll be fine. You did everything right. He has a bee allergy, but the antihistamine took effect before his throat swelled closed. I’ve given him a mild sedative for the pain, and I’d like to keep an eye on him for an hour or so, just to make sure there aren’t any adverse reactions, though I don’t expect problems.”
“Thank God.”
Miranda pulled open the curtain, and her gaze met Cole’s. The tormented expression in his eyes softened the instant he saw her.
“You came.”
“I tried to call, but you didn’t answer.” She nodded at the doctor, the same young intern who’d treated Jackson before.
He returned her smile with a broad grin. “We meet again.”
“No offense, but let’s hope this is the last time.”
He laughed. “None taken.” Turning his attention back to Cole, he scribbled something on a prescription pad and handed it to him. “This is for an ointment that’ll ease the stinging when the medication I put on the welts wears off. You can fill it at the hospital pharmacy. I’ll be by again to check on the baby before I release him.”
After the doctor left, Miranda crossed the cubical to the exam table and lifted Jackson into her arms. Tear tracks stained his cheeks, and his chest and arms were covered in hard, little bumps. He pressed his face against her neck and sighed. Her heart contracted as she stroked his soft curls.
“What happened?”
“I was working, and he was digging in the dirt with a plastic shovel. I figure he must have unearthed an underground yellow jacket nest. I didn’t stick around to check it out.”
“God, Cole, you must have been so worried.”
“I was, but I kept it together, gave him an antihistamine, then brought him here just in case. I wasn’t going to tempt fate.”
“Smart.” She glanced down at his arms and drew in a breath. “Looks like you got stung a few times, as well.”
He shrugged. “I’ll live.” His gaze held hers, long and intent, searching for something he obviously didn’t find. Finally, he turned away. “Will you watch him while I go fill the prescription?”
“Of course. What about the paperwork, insurance and all that?”
“I already took care of it while the doc was dealing with Jackson.”
Miranda stared after his retreating back before rising to flip the curtain closed. What a difference a week made. Cole had handled what could have been a catastrophe with calm and confidence. Her respect for him went up several notches.
Sitting back down with Jackson in her lap, she leaned against the wall. Her nose stung with the smell of antiseptic and whatever chemicals they used to clean the floors. Outside, a siren wailed as an ambulance pulled up, followed by running footsteps and the squeak of a gurney rolling across the floor. After what seemed an eternity, Cole pulled aside the curtain and entered the cubicle. He carried a white bag and a stuffed cow with long lashed eyes.
Jackson held out his arms and grunted.
“Yes, it’s for you. You hung in there like a rodeo champion, and this is the closest thing to a bull they had.” After handing the cow to his nephew, he sat on the exam table beside Miranda. “You didn’t return my calls.”
“Nope.” She sucked in a long breath, her grip on Jackson tightening. “I figured a clean break is best. Andee and Davis will be home tomorrow, so we won’t have a reason to see each other after that.”
His eyes flashed. “No reason except we love each other.”
Her fingers trembled as she pushed a strand of hair over her shoulder. “I loved you the last time we went through this. Love doesn’t stop overnight.”
His head hung, exposing the vulnerable back of his neck. Miranda ached to stroke it, to tell him nothing mattered except love. But the weight of Jackson’s warm little body, the effects of the sedative causing him to slump against her, was a reminder of what she’d have to give up if she stopped fighting her feelings for Cole.
“I’ve been getting more and more calls about work—and taking most of the jobs. I won’t be away as much.” He glanced up, his eyes sober. “I’m not saying I won’t be off on an adventure now and then, but I’m cutting back. Time to grow up, I suppose.”
“Is that what you want?” She touched his arm, felt the muscle contract, and jerked her hand away. “I want you to be happy.”
“Playing so much was getting a little old. I’m fine with it, Miranda, and I’m not the type to make grand gestures at the expense of being miserable.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yep, but I know what would make me the happiest man on earth.”
Her stomach quivered, and the word came out in a whisper. “What?”
“Having you on those adventures with me, or at least waiting when I got home. I know you’ll always be a homebody at heart. I love that side of you, but once in a while it’s good to cut loose and experience a different side of what life has to offer.”
“You’re right.”
His eyes brightened. “I am?”
She nodded. “I have been in a working rut. With Stephanie coming on full time and Jenna still wanting part time work after her baby is born, I’ll be able to take a break now and then. It’ll be good for me.”
He reached over and squeezed her thigh. The bare skin exposed by her shorts sizzled under his large, warm hand.
“That’s great. I want you to be happy, too. I want it more than anything.”
She closed her eyes, fighting back tears, then gently moved his hand off her leg. “If that’s true, you have to let me go.” Hugging Jackson and the cow against her chest, she held her voice steady
. “This is the greatest experience life has to offer, at least for me. Being a mom, caring for another person and watching him grow and learn and thrive. As much as I love you, my heart would shrivel without that. Maybe not today or tomorrow, when all I can think about is you, but it would always be there. The missing piece of my life.”
He pressed his fingers to his eyes. When his hand came away, his lashes were spiky with moisture. “I don’t know if I’m ready for such a responsibility. I don’t know if I ever will be.”
“I realize that.” Her words were soft. “A week ago, I was certain having kids would be a huge mistake for you. Now, I’m not so sure. You’ve been terrific with Jackson.”
He snorted. “Take a look around you. We’re in a freaking hospital. Again. Any kid of mine wouldn’t survive to grow and thrive. Not unless he learned to take care of himself in a hurry.”
“That’s not true. I see a difference in you. I know you love Jackson, and your caregiving skills have improved more than you realize.”
“Of course I love him. But—and it’s a big but—I’m giving him back tomorrow. You can’t do that with your own kid.”
“No. You can’t. You wouldn’t want to.”
He scooted closer and wrapped his arm around her waist. Her head dropped against his shoulder. Only for a minute, her heart whispered.
“Where does that leave us, Miranda?”
“The same place it did last fall. We both move on.” Her voice cracked a little. “You’ll find a woman to share your adventures, and I’ll find a man who wants a home and family. It may take some time, but that’s what we’ll do.”
“And in the meantime, we’ll both be miserable.”
“I expect we will.”
The curtain slid back, and the young doctor stepped into the room. “Everything okay in here?”
Miranda straightened, sliding away from Cole. “It will be. Maybe not right away, but it will be.”
Chapter Ten
Andee hugged Jackson in her arms, looking tanned and beautiful and happier than Cole had ever seen her—even on her wedding day. His brother stood behind her, beaming down on their son.
“God, I missed him. He looks horrible.” His glance rose to meet Cole’s. “Still, he’s happy and in one piece. That’s all I care about.”
“The doctor said those stings will disappear in a couple more days.”
“My poor little guy.” Andee rested her cheek on his head. “I should have been here.”
“Don’t start feeling guilty, now.” Davis squeezed his wife’s arm. “Cole came through and managed just fine. I knew he could do it.”
“So did I.” Andee smiled up at him. “Thank you for taking such good care of our son. We owe you.”
“Two trips to the emergency room, and you’re grateful?” His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. “I was sure Davis would beat the crap out of me first and ask questions later.” He met his brother’s gaze and winced. “I’d have let you do it, since it’s no more than I deserve.”
“Are you kidding?” Andee rocked Jackson back and forth while he clung to her and babbled. “He’s been in the ER so often, they’re threatening to put a plaque on the door with his name on it. Let’s see, there was the broken arm, the time he shoved a piece of cantaloupe up his nose, and the night his temperature spiked to 105 degrees.” She glanced over her shoulder at her husband. “Am I missing any highlights?”
Cole sputtered with laughter. “You’re making that up so I’ll feel better. I would remember a broken arm.”
“It happened while you were in California hiking the Pacific Crest Trail last summer. We couldn’t reach you at the time, and the cast was off when you got home. I guess the subject never came up until now.”
Taking Jackson while Andee bustled about, collecting his gear, Davis eyed his brother. “Didn’t you wonder why the odds against you were so high in the feed store pool?”
“Because the locals know I suck when it comes to taking care of kids?”
“Nope. Jackson’s record is legendary. By the way, you and Andee won a bundle, but most of the town’s populace lost their shirts betting against you.”
“Serves them right.”
“Damn straight.” His smile faded. “I hope watching Jackson wasn’t too hard on you.”
“Actually, we had more fun than I expected. The kid loves Chief, so we took a couple of rides, and who knew hanging out at the park is relaxing?”
“Uh, I think that’s why they build playgrounds.”
“Go figure.” He shrugged. “Of course, I had some help. Miranda really backed me up when I needed her.”
“Yeah? Are you two—”
Cole shook his head. “We can’t get past the baby thing.”
“I’m sorry.” Davis grasped his shoulder and squeezed. “I know you care about her.”
“Yeah, I do. It’s mutual, but…” He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “I won’t push her. I can tell it’s tearing her up inside.”
“Maybe—”
“Let’s not go there right now.”
Davis nodded with eyes full of sympathy before he bent to set Jackson on the floor. “I’d better go load all his stuff into the van.”
“I’ll help.” Grabbing the playpen, Cole folded it with a few, deft twists and carried it outside. Fifteen minutes later, the van was packed.
A surprising lump formed in his throat as he picked up his nephew and gave him a hug. “See you around, kid.”
“Unka, Unka.” He patted his face and laughed.
“Thanks again, Cole.” Andee pecked his cheek then took her son. “You’re the best.”
“Sure. Anytime.” As the word slipped out, he was amazed to realize he truly meant it. “Maybe I’ll stop by sometime and take him riding. He enjoyed it.”
“Whenever you want, just say the word.” Her voice was soft, her eyes bright.
Davis slapped his shoulder. “Come to dinner later this week. We’d love to have you.”
Cole stood in the doorway while they crossed the yard. When Tucker ambled over and leaned against his leg, he stroked the dog’s head. A minute later, the flashing beams from the van’s headlights disappeared into the night.
“Back to normal, right boy? That’s good. It’s what we both wanted.”
The dog’s answer was a huge yawn before he dropped onto the porch. Turning, Cole went inside. The room looked empty with no toys scattered about—colorless. The way his heart felt without Miranda.
He might as well get used to it. This was the life he’d chosen.
****
With a grunt and a shove, Cole slid the third bear onto the truck and stepped back. The trio stared down at him as the driver fastened the straps securing them in place. He never liked watching his creations being carted away, but the look in the momma bear’s eyes was almost accusing.
“Lord, I need a break.”
When the truck disappeared down the drive, he went inside, threw food and camping gear into a pack, left a heaping bowl of dog chow on the porch for Tucker, then headed to the stable. After saddling Chief and lashing the pack on behind, he took off at a gallop. The wind was blowing the grass in waves, and he clamped his hat down tighter as he headed toward the distant hills. He’d reach them before nightfall if he rode hard, and that was fine by him. After a week without Miranda—without Jackson—he needed something to work off his frustration. The sheer loneliness was eating at his soul.
He’d never felt this way before. His own company with an occasional night out for variety had always suited him just fine. After Miranda walked out the first time, he’d been unhappy, but this spirit sucking realization that the most important part of his life was gone for good had only been a niggling at the back of his mind. It wasn’t just the woman he missed, either. For the past week, he’d found himself staring at the empty spot where the highchair had stood while he plowed through a steak and baked potato, barely able to choke down the food.
When the phone in his pocket chir
ped, his heart leaped. Miranda. Reining Chief to a stop, he pulled it out and glanced at the display. Hollowness filled his chest. Of course it wasn’t Miranda. But the number looked vaguely familiar…
“Hello.”
“Cole?” a breathy female voice drawled. “I’m in town for a few days and was hopin’ we could get together. It was sooo much fun the last time.”
His brows beetled across his forehead. Was he supposed to know this woman by her cheery, deep South twang? “Um, I’m not at home right now.”
“Well, darn. What about tomorrow night?”
Something clicked. Dark hair, dark eyes, and a curving figure enhanced by cat ears and a tail. He’d run into the woman at the Rusty Nail Saloon on Halloween, spent a couple of enjoyable hours flirting, but in the end had made an excuse about an early appointment and gone home alone. What the hell was her name?
“Lisa?”
“Liza. Don’t tease and pretend you don’t remember. I refuse to believe it.”
“Sure, I remember.”
“I called, but you must not have gotten my messages.”
There had been a half-dozen. “Uh, my phone has issues with message retrieval sometimes.”
“You should get a new one. About tomorrow, is seven o’clock good for you? We could have drinks and dinner then maybe check out the moon from the balcony of the bed and breakfast where I’m staying…”
Say yes, idiot. The woman was sexy and confident and surely knew how to please a man. If he wanted to get over Miranda, he needed to start someplace, and there were worse places to start than with Lisa...or Liza...or whatever.
“You know I’d love to, but I’m on my way out of town. It’ll be several days before I get back.”
“Really? What horrible timin’! Maybe we can hook up the next time I’m in town.”
“Sure, next time. Nice talking to you again, Liza.”
He clicked the phone off and sighed before urging Chief into an easy lope.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, turning down a night of fun so he could mope instead. Too bad he couldn’t work up any enthusiasm for that sort of pleasure. What he should have done was ask Andee if he could borrow her son for the night. Having Jackson along on the ride would have been entertaining. The boy would love playing in the dirt by the campfire and sleeping under the stars. They could have roasted marshmallows and…
Asking for Trouble Page 9