“It’s okay. I’m ready to tell you.” I take a deep breath and resume talking. “I lived in Tucson, Arizona before I moved here. But I didn’t leave much behind. My parents were killed in an airplane crash when I was a freshman in college. And my older sister and I—we’re not close.” I don’t mention my niece. She’s four years old and a really cute kid. But because of the strained relationship I have with my sister, I rarely see her. That bothers me. It bothers me a lot. But I don’t know how to fix it. Being around my sister—talking to her even—is toxic. And I just can’t put myself through that right now.
“I’m sorry.” He releases my hand and is quiet for a moment.
I hold my breath, wondering what he’s thinking. Probably how to let me down easily after what he’s heard. A Mexican-Italian man like Luca would want to be with a family-oriented woman. Not some loner with no one who came to Mexico basically because she had no life where she came from. “It’s okay,” I say, breaking the silence. “I’ve learned to become independent. I get by fine on my own.” As I say it, I realize it’s true. Sort of. I am independent. I’m adventurous. A good problem solver. And I like to have quiet time by myself. But even now that I know how wrong Brandon was for me, sometimes I’m still lonely. When I first got here, I always went to restaurants alone. Restaurant hosts would ask if I was waiting for someone. I usually had to explain more than once—no, it’s only me. Because everyone here has dozens of family members they can spend time with, they probably found it difficult to understand how anyone could have no one to eat with.
Ten days after I arrived here, I met a lovely Mexican couple—Gabriela and Martin—that I often join for long beach walks. Sometimes they even invite me to their home for dinner. They refer to me as their hermana or sister, which means a lot to me. But Gabriela has four sisters and a brother living in San Carlos and Guaymas and she and Martin are so busy with family—and I’m kind of the odd one out, not being married. I tell them not to worry if they don’t have time to get together. They always brush off my insecure comments and say they enjoy my company. We do always have fun together. They’re such kind people, I hope they don’t only hang around me because they feel sorry for me. If only I could let go of these fears.
“You look so sad, Jade. Please, tell me what you’re thinking.” Luca’s voice is so gentle. He covers my hand that’s resting in my lap.
“It’s just…” I don’t know how to answer without sounding foolish. And the last thing I want to feel is vulnerable so soon after what happened with Brandon. “My answer just feels so inadequate. And it makes me feel bad. I know how important family is to most people in Mexico. And I can tell how important family is to you. I’m an American with no one. I’m not the kind of person you should be interested in.”
He takes hold of my hand and draws it to his chest. “That’s not true. You are good, Jade. I can see that. It is not your fault that you are alone. I’m sure the longer you are in Mexico the more friends you will make. They will make you feel like part of their families. And you won’t be alone anymore. You will be with people who value who you are.”
My heart swells with emotion hearing his words. How did he do that? Make me feel so much better. His kind words have washed away some of my insecurities. “I hope that’s possible.”
“It is, you will see. No one is lonely for long in Mexico. People here take care of each other.”
“Thank you, Luca for being so understanding. That was hard to talk about.”
“You can talk to me about anything, Jade. I’m here for you.”
I fight back tears, but this time they’re happy tears. I’ve never been around anyone more thoughtful than Luca before. He just…he really gets it. “Thank you, Luca.”
The waiter approaches to take our order. He speaks to Luca in Spanish.
Luca turns toward me. “Have you decided what you want?”
“I was looking at the shrimp dishes. But I’m not sure which one to get.”
“If you like coconut, the coconut shrimp here is really delicious. That’s what I’m ordering.”
“I’ll try it, then.”
Luca orders for both of us in Spanish and then gazes out over the water, his face pensive. “Beautiful evening.”
The sun slowly descends toward the horizon, illuminating the bay and painting the shore a brilliant reddish-orange. “It’s lovely, Luca. Thank you so much for bringing me here. This is such a treat.”
“The pleasure is all mine. I feel very fortunate to have met the most beautiful woman in all of San Carlos.”
Cozy warmth burrows deep inside of me. He says such heart-melting things. Any woman would react to his words, especially when they’re said in that delicious Latino accent. How do I know if this is part of his regular seduction routine or whether he means what he’s saying? “You’re just being nice.”
“No, Jade, that’s how I see you.” He gazes at me without blinking, and golden fire flickers in his eyes.
Heat rushes to my face and I glance away. I see the lust and maybe even longing burning in his eyes. I don’t know what it means. Or even if it’s real. All I know is that I want more of it. I want more of him.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Luca
Color floods her tanned cheeks. My compliment made Jade feel awkward I can tell. Which is surprising. She’s muy bonita. Surely, other men have told her that. She seemed so casual and in control on the beach. Tonight, I’m sensing a vulnerability in her I never expected. It’s sad that her parents are gone and that her sister doesn’t understand her. It hurts to hear that she feels so alone. I feel compelled to protect her, but she seems so anxious and I’m not sure how to get her to relax. I’ll ask her more about her swimming—something I know she loves. “When did you learn to swim?” I’m gratified to see her eyes brighten and her lips turn up in a smile.
“I started lessons when I was five. Then I joined swim team when I was nine.”
“You raced?”
There’s a gleam of confidence in her dark eyes. “Yep. I was pretty good, too.”
“That doesn’t surprise me in the least. What events did you swim?”
“The 500- and 1650-yard freestyle and the 400 Individual Medley. The medley is the race that includes all four strokes.”
“I knew that, actually. My sister, Chiara, is also a swimmer.”
Jade’s voice pitches upward with excitement. “Really?”
“Yes. After we moved to Mexico City, she kept talking about her one friend, Marisol, who swam on a team. She was only ten at the time. I was fifteen and had a part-time job. I persuaded my mom to let me use some of my money to pay for her to take swimming lessons. Eventually, Chiara swam well enough to join the team with Marisol. She really enjoyed it. She was great at the butterfly and breaststroke events.”
“How wonderful, Luca. It’s great that you helped her get started. Does Chiara still swim?”
“Now she swims for fitness. And she’s the head swimming coach at the Pan American University in Mexico City.”
“How awesome. You must be very proud of her.”
“I am very proud of her. She found this sport she loves so much and made it into a fulfilling career. And she loves the water. In some ways she reminds me of you.”
Jade tips her head slightly and bites her lower lip. “What do you mean?”
“I can see how much you love the water. I saw a similar flicker of delight in my sister’s eyes every time she talked about swimming or an upcoming race. In so many ways, swimming changed her.”
“What do you mean?”
“Chiara was moody and withdrawn after our father left and wasn’t doing well in school. That all changed once she started swimming.”
Jade nods. “I’m glad swimming helped your sister get through all that.” Her eyes well up with tears. “I know I couldn’t have made it through so many things that have happened without the comfort of the water.”
I lean in closer to her until our shoulders touch. I want to hold her, but it
seems too soon. “I understand, Jade. I know what swimming means to Chiara and what it means to you.”
“I know you do.” Her large dark eyes look at me so wide with appreciation. “I like that you get why swimming matters to me. That you don’t think it’s silly.”
“Why would I? Your love for the water is one of many things that makes you unique and special.”
The sea breeze blows a lock of her curly hair into her eyes. My fingers itch to reach out and brush it away. Before I get the chance to touch its luxurious softness, she pushes the hair aside, revealing the smile it had hidden. “You see things so differently, Luca. My sister thinks I’m a complete nut. I get so tired of having to explain myself all the time. That’s one of many reasons I came down here.”
How could anyone not like her? I barely know her, but already I can’t get enough of her company. “You ran away from people who didn’t understand you?”
“Basically.” She pauses for a moment, as if deciding whether to say more. “But it’s a bit more complicated than that.” She looks up at me with those big brown eyes like she’d hiding a guilty secret. “I was in a relationship with someone for eight years. Then he dumped me. In my favorite restaurant in front of a bunch of people. It was the worst.”
I clench my fists, feel a wrench of anger rise in my chest. How could any man treat her like that? I place my hand on her bare shoulder, savoring how smooth and soft her skin feels. “Oh, no, Jade, that’s terrible. I can’t believe that.”
“I was devastated. I felt stuck in a rut and wasn’t sure how to get out of it. One night on Facebook, I found these expatriate groups. People who had moved to other countries posted and commented about their experiences. The idea of going someplace new thrilled me. I thought, why not? I knew I didn’t want to run into Brandon at the grocery store. And my new career as a writer meant I could work anywhere with a steady internet connection.”
“You say you could have gone anywhere. Why did you choose Mexico?”
“For a lot of reasons. I wanted to live by the ocean and I wanted to live someplace where life was more relaxed. And Mexico was close. I figured I could bail if it didn’t work out.”
“I can tell living by the sea suits you. How do you like the lifestyle?”
She sips her margarita and licks a grain of salt from her lips. “I love it, actually. The pace is slower. It’s easier to make friends here. I don’t feel like I have to prove anything to anyone anymore. I got so tired of having to explain myself.”
I know she has more to say so I wait for her to continue.
“Last year, I resigned from my job as a structural engineer to start writing full time. Even when I was just writing at night and on weekends, I made a decent amount of money writing books and doing freelance writing and editing. I saw no need to continue work I didn’t enjoy. Everyone told me I was crazy. Brandon—my ex—and my sister were the worst. How could I give up a real job? A steady job with benefits? Oh, and my ‘status?’” She rolls her eyes as she makes a quotation mark gesture when she says the word status. Lines of distress crease her forehead. No wonder she wanted to come here. If these people really cared about her, they would want her to do what made her truly happy. Thanks to their harsh words, she’s obviously really hard on herself.
“This career change was what you wanted, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. I’d had enough of working nights and weekends every time a deadline loomed. I wanted my life back. The company owned my life more than I did.”
“I can understand why you made that choice.”
“I wish my boyfriend and my sister had been so sympathetic. They pestered me to death about it. And then…”
Her eyes well up with tears. She hurriedly wipes them away.
I ache to pull her into my arms, but the timing isn’t right. It’s obvious she’s been bruised and battered, and I don’t want to scare her. Maybe she’s still getting over the breakup with her boyfriend. Not that she should think of him for a minute longer. The guy is obviously an insensitive jerk. I need to be a good listener right now. Give her the time and space to learn to trust again. I hope I can win her trust, but it might take some time. “That’s terrible that the people closest to you were so critical. It took a lot of strength to stand up for yourself and to make the choice that worked best for you. I want you to know—you never have to explain yourself to me.”
A long sigh escapes Jade’s lips. “Thank you, Luca. I appreciate that. I wish I could let all that crap from my past go. But it’s hard sometimes.”
“I understand. I got into quite a bit of trouble when I was a boy. I was a real practical joker. Especially in lower secondary school. The administrators didn’t find the firecrackers I threw under their door amusing. That stunt landed me a two-week suspension. And there were other incidents. I’ve often thought if I hadn’t been such an unruly kid, maybe my father never would have left.”
Jade’s eyes widen in surprise and she reaches for me and touches my shoulder. Her fingertips brush down my arm, leaving a smoldering trail of heat behind. “Oh, no, Luca. You must know now that’s not true. Nothing could make a parent who truly loves his child walk away. You were just a mischievous boy.”
I want more than ever to pull her into my arms—to express how much it means to me that she not only listens, but she also understands. And she’s been so misunderstood herself, which amazes me. She’s so compassionate and kind—I would think everyone she meets would like her right away. She’s living in my country now and I want more than anything to make it be a safe place for her, a place she can truly call home.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jade
Luca rakes a hand through his thick hair and gazes at me. His eyes are more blue than green now. I wonder what he’s thinking. Too Much Information, probably. It was bad enough I had to tell him about my pathetic family life, but then I had to blurt out what happened with Brandon. No guy wants to hear about a girl’s ex. But I couldn’t stop myself. I said it without thinking, which isn’t like me. I tend to keep my emotions to myself. There’s just something about Luca. He makes it feel safe to let it all out and I really needed to talk about it. At least our conversation wasn’t one-sided. He opened up to me, too. We both suffered when we were kids. And that makes me feel closer to him. He understands the pain of rejection.
Luca’s skin is tinted orange by the setting sun. His eyelashes are tipped in gold. But he doesn’t try to shade his eyes from the sun. He continues to study my face. Time seems to stand still as we look at each other. His stare heats my skin. The physical and mental connection between us seems to make the air crackle. The crash of the waves on the sand and the music with the loud backbeat suddenly fade away. All I see is Luca. All I hear is the sound of my own breath. My heart beat intensifies. I know what the flash of warm light in his eyes means. He wants to get to know me in a more intimate way.
I keep thinking about what I want—and what I don’t want. I want to be near him. He says nice things, but I don’t know for sure they’re really true. He’s always traveling. What if he meets someone else in New York, London, or Rome. No. This won’t last. I’ll just get hurt again. There’s no way I’m going to sleep with him tonight. Even though every nerve ending in my body is screaming for me to give in, to allow myself this indulgence.
Our gazes break apart when the waiter brings our plates to the table. The shrimp is cooked just right. I savor a bite, chewing slowly. “Great suggestion. This is delicious.”
“I knew you would like it.”
We exchange small talk over the food and how nice it is outside. There’s only a hint of yellow-orange in the western sky now and stars are popping out in the midnight blue sky. If ever there were a romantic evening, this is it. I never expected to enjoy it so much. I keep thinking about what might happen after we leave. Will he try to kiss me? How will his lips feel on mine? What will it feel like to be embraced by those strong arms of his, to be compressed against his rock-hard chest? I shouldn’t be fantasizing a
bout kissing him, imagining him teasing one of the straps of my dress off one shoulder and touching my breast.
Getting close is dangerous. There are so many reasons I shouldn’t give in, but neither my mind nor body can resist him. My mind wants him because he’s so kind and thoughtful. My body wants him because every inch of his muscular body is gorgeously sculpted masculine sinew. I don’t have to give in to these impulses, but damn, I want to. Every time we touch, that undercurrent of sexual awareness pulses through me.
I love how different Luca is from the other men I’ve gone out with. He hasn’t bragged about his high IQ or how much money he makes or how much weight he can bench press. Some of the stories men have told me make me laugh. They want me to believe they’ll be the next Bill Gates. Somehow, they never seemed to realize that money and status don’t impress me. All I want is a connection. Luca has focused his attention on getting to know me instead of wasting time telling unbelievable stories and trying to show off.
When dinner is over, Luca drives me back to my condo. He holds my hand as he walks me to my door. Each step feels heavier than the next. This night was so wonderful, and I won’t see him for a while. He’s going back to work tomorrow.
He turns to face me when we reach the door. Every perfect angle and feature of his face is illuminated by my porch light.
I imagine reaching out and stroking his cheek. “I had a really good time.”
“It was lovely spending the evening with you, Jade. I hope we can see each other again when I come back.”
“I would like that very much.”
“Do you have your cell phone?”
“Yes, it’s in my purse.” I unzip it and sift through all the junk until I locate it. He gives me his number and asks me to text him mine. Once that’s complete, he flashes a heart-melting smile. My pulse beats faster. He wants to kiss me. Oh, please, yes.
Jade's Song (South of the Border Book 2) Page 8