“Please, Jorge, you have to listen to me. This is nothing but lies. My mother was faithful. She sacrificed everything for us. I have had many relationships. That’s never been a secret. But Jade isn’t like all those women. I love Jade. I love her so much. Even though she ran away after all this happened. I need you to believe me. I need you to stand up for me and for my mother if the reporters won’t listen to me. I need you to help me. To help all of us. Lorenzo, Raphael, Steve and Larry—all their careers are at stake here.”
Jorge looks at me with large, sad eyes. “I’ve known you for a long time, Luca. And I believe you. I don’t know if there’s any way to turn this around. But I’m damn well going to do everything in my power to try.”
“Maybe it would be better for you to walk away while you can. I don’t want to ruin everything you’ve worked hard for, Jorge.”
He fidgets with his beard and frowns. “No. Your fans must hear the truth. I need to know about everything that happened that night in Vienna so we can come up with a strategy.”
“I understand. What would you like to know?”
“Tell me about the conversation you had with your father after I left.”
I explain how my father wanted to use my image to launch his own business, then turned around and threatened me when I refused.
Jorge frowns and one dark brow lifts, wrinkling his forehead. “Why didn’t you do it? You had a chance to save yourself.”
“At the cost of everything I believe in. My career and my life would become meaningless the day I allowed a man like my father to manipulate me. I could never support him. He spewed out the most terrible lies about my mother. He spoke to Jade like she was dirt he’d scraped off his shoe. He’s an evil man and the world needs to know that as the truth.”
Jorge reaches out and squeezes my arm. “I’m with you on this.” He pauses for a moment, tapping the side of his coffee cup with his finger. “Okay, here’s what I think we should do. We should cancel the rest of the tour. People have been contacting the ticket offices, asking for refunds. I’ll contact the news outlets and try to get you some interviews. You need to have opportunities to tell your side of the story.”
I sit up straighter in my seat. “That sounds like a good plan, Jorge. I’ll speak to anyone willing to hear what I have to say. And I want everyone who purchased a ticket—whether they ask for a refund or not—to get their money back.”
“I will make some calls.”
“Thank you, Jorge. Thanks for having my back on this.”
Jorge smiles. “That’s why you pay me the big bucks.” A hint of emotion is apparent his voice. “You’re a good man, Luca. I’ll help you win this fight.” After he stands up, I accompany him toward the door.
We share a manly hug. “Thank you, Jorge. I appreciate everything you’re trying to do. We’ll get through this,” I say, sounding much more confident than I feel.
Once Jorge leaves, I sip my coffee and pace around the room. I suddenly think of mamá. I should have called her sooner. If she reads all of these headlines without hearing from me, she’ll be devastated. I know my father’s lies about her won’t bother her a bit. She’s used to those. But I know how upset she will be when she hears that my father’s words are bringing down my career. The pain of the thought twists in my gut. For her sake and for the sake of my guys, I have to do whatever it takes to save my career. I pick up my cell phone and call her.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Jade
The first morning I’m home in San Carlos, I rush down to the sea to swim. I propel myself through the water as fast as I can, attempting to drown my despair in the sea. My tears fill up my goggles, salty like the sea. I feel empty, broken. No one will ever love me, I tell myself. As I continue to swim, the pain starts to ease. I taste the salt on my lips. Feel the gentle lift of the waves. Watch my fingers pulling through the blue-green water.
I spot three dolphins in front of me. They dive down and glide underneath me. I recognize one of them as Nick. I hear their clicks and squeaks. “It’s good to see you, again,” I say through the water. It has been too long since I’ve been out here in the sea, in this one place where I feel safe. I missed the water so much and now I’m finally here and it feels amazing.
I don’t have to feel defeated. Being alone won’t be that bad. I’ll heal day by day in the sea. I feel a tug of pain in my heart. I miss Luca. He’s thousands of miles away and I’ll never see him again. And I could never settle for another man after being with Luca. He was everything I ever wanted in a man and much more. But I made my decision and there’s no turning back.
He must know we weren’t right for each other. He must know that I need a quiet life and am not the right woman to stand beside him in the limelight. I keep telling myself this over and over. And in some ways it makes sense. In others I feel like I took the easy way out. At the first signs of difficulty I ran. That’s not what a committed partner does in a relationship. And the more I think about it, the more I realize I have more strength than I give myself credit for. I grew up with almost no emotional support from my family, but still excelled in school and as a competitive swimmer. I’ve been financially independent all of my adult life. And after Brandon left me, I moved to another country, adapted to all the changes, and rebuilt my life. That’s not the me who abandoned the man I loved at the first sign of hardship. But it doesn’t change the fact that I did abandon him, that I did run away. Even if it’s unrealistic, I wish things had turned out differently. Every fiber of my being misses him. The man, not the celebrity. I keep seeing his brilliant blue-green eyes, hearing his deep gentle voice, imagining his sometimes tender, sometimes fiery touch.
I hear a dolphin sound under the water. A sorrowful cry. Nick swims underneath me again, turning on his side to make eye contact. He seems to have something to say. The sad sound echoes below me again. Somehow, Nick senses my suffering. He knows how sad and empty I feel without Luca by my side.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Jade
Two days after I get home, my cell phone rings. My hair’s still wet. I just walked in the door from a swim. I glance at the caller ID and grimace. It’s my sister, Kelsi. Shit. I’m not in the mood to talk to her, but I know she’ll keep calling until I pick up. I dry my ear with my towel before answering.
“Hi, Kels—”
“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you f—”
“I was on an international fl—”
“I’m coming down there to see you. We have a lot to talk about.”
“You’re coming down here? When?”
“Right now. I’m topping off my car with gas at the border. I should be there by dinner time.”
I rub my head. No. This can’t be happening. I can’t deal with Kelsi. Not now. “Wait, Kelsi, this really isn’t a good time.”
When she doesn’t respond, I realize she’s already hung up. “Dammit.” I toss the phone onto the couch. Today is no different from any other day. Once again, she didn’t hear a word I said. She’s only attuned to her own voice. Her wants and needs are all that matter. Tears stream down my face. I don’t know what to do. I pace around my living room, wringing my hands. I hear a knock at the door.
I open the door, prepared to unleash my frustration on whoever’s outside. It’s Justin. I bite my lip, wanting to scream. Could this day get any worse? “What do you want?” I ask in an irritated voice.
“Good morning to you, too.” Justin’s gaze travels the length of me and lingers on my face. “You look like shit today.”
My hands tremble with rage. The nerve of this guy. “Thanks for the compliment. Look, I’m really not in the mood to talk.”
“I guess your trip to Europe with lover boy didn’t go so well. I’ve been reading all about it in the news.” He glances at the sheets of paper he’s holding.
That’s what this is all about. I snatch them from his hand and slam the door in his face. Why can’t this guy just leave me alone?
I carry the
wrinkled pages back inside and sink down into a chair. I thumb through them, studying the photos of Luca, of me, of his father. It includes all of the accusations I heard that night and much more. How Luca’s father left because of his mother’s infidelity, how Luca has never stayed with the same woman for long. I am described as “just another sleazy groupie.” One article mentions that Luca has canceled the rest of his Europe tour. This proves that Luca isn’t what he seemed, says a quote from a former fan, who added she wouldn’t be attending any more of Luca’s concerts. I wonder if the media ever gave Luca a chance to defend himself or whether they were more interested in hearing all the juicy lies. Only two people spoke in his defense. His press agent, Jorge, said “Luca is a man of integrity. His words can be trusted. He asked me to fight to defend his mother’s honor. He’s devastated by his father’s attempts to slander her. He wants his fans to know that his mother provided love and support for him and his brothers and sister when his father abandoned the family. Luca hadn’t seen his father since he was a boy. His father only came to the concert for one reason—to blackmail Luca into helping him launch his online business. When Luca refused, he made up all these lies to damage his career.”
Luca’s brother, Lorenzo, said, “Jade was good for my brother. She was special to him. I noticed it the first time they were together. How connected they were, how happy he seemed whenever she was with him.” Tears flood my eyes. The words blur together. I blink away my tears and read on. “She was the one.”
Lorenzo spoke of me in past tense. I was the one. Before I left Luca there alone to deal with his lying father and to face the paparazzi, who made it their mission to tear him to shreds. Despair tears at my heart.
How could I have been so weak? How could I have left the man I love when he needed me the most? If only I’d mentally prepared myself for the possibility of reporters hounding me, maybe I wouldn’t have become crazed and panicked. Anyone facing my situation would have been intimidated. The whole thing was scary as hell. But still…I could have taken a few deep breaths, pretended they were all butt naked and told the reporters all that I’ve seen in Luca—that he is kind, loyal and caring. That he’s proved to me that I’m more than a passing fling. But I didn’t stay to defend him. I ran. And reading about the consequences of my actions makes me feel like total shit. I never imagined that breaking another person’s heart could hurt even worse than having my own heart crushed. I bury my head in my hands and sob. I’ve never felt so miserable in my life.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Jade
I take a shower, tug on a sun dress and rush into the bathroom to put on makeup. I can do this, I can hold it together. I’m just going to need a lot of wine to do it. I’ll make a quick trip to the store before Kelsi gets here. I’ll buy what we need to eat along with mucho vino. If I hurry, I’ll have plenty of time to down a few glasses and numb my brain before Kelsi gets here. I have to stop feeling. To get my mind to slow down for a while. I need a break from thinking over and over again about how I blew it with Luca. And worrying about how I’m going to entertain my high maintenance sister. Hopefully, she’ll hate it here and won’t stay more than a day or two.
I stare at my face in the mirror. To say I look like hell is an understatement. I don’t even recognize the woman I see in the mirror. She’s broken. Shattered. Overwhelmed. Because her heart aches to be with the love of her life. I smear on foundation. My washed-out pallor shows right through the layer of makeup. And I’m not going to even attempt to wear mascara. It’s too risky. I keep randomly bursting into tears. People might not notice my red, swollen eyes. Or the shadows under them. But streaks of black on my cheeks would be a dead giveaway of my despair.
I have never been such a mess. Not even after Brandon left me. It was his choice to dump me. There was nothing I could do to change that. But this relationship with Luca was different. He wanted to be with me. And we were right for each other in many ways. Luca made me feel grounded and comfortable with myself, much like the sea makes me feel during a swim. Being with Luca made me realize how wrong Brandon and I were for each other all along. Then I walked—no, ran away—abandoning the man I love when he needed me most. And now I’m past tense, out of his life. I was the one but not any longer because of the choice I made out of fear. Somehow, I have to find a way to live with that.
Two hours later, I’m sitting out on my patio, refilling my glass of wine. I look out at the blue-green sea, noticing how it disappears on the horizon. What if I just swam out there as far as I could go? It’s seventy or more miles to the other side of the Sea of Cortez. How long would I last in the deepest part of the sea before a shark took me out or one of those giant squids attacked. Apparently, they attack fisherman on a regular basis. They attack in groups, pummeling a person in the chest. And once the person is stunned, they use their tentacles to pull him or her in closer where their beak grinds the person up for consumption.
Yes, that’s just what I need to be thinking about to boost my mood: being attacked by murderous squids. I should be thinking of a logical way to get my act together. I was starting to feel better until I saw the news headlines and Kelsi announced her impending arrival. It’s all too much. Especially, my sister’s visit. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with that now.
I stagger to the door when I hear the knock. I open it and see my sister standing there. As usual, her hair and makeup are flawless. She’s wearing jeans and gold heels and a sleeveless pale blue blouse. An enormous suitcase is sitting downstairs on the walkway. “Hi, Kelsi. You’re looking great as always. Come on in.”
“Hi, Jade.”
I hug her. She wraps her hand around my back in a limp, unenthusiastic way and then steps back.
“Tell me what you’ve been up to. And how’s Mia?”
“Can you bring my suitcase in for me? It’s really heavy. And I already had to drag it a mile down the sidewalk.”
“Oh, yeah, sure. Come on in and make yourself comfortable while I go get it.” I step outside, walk down the stairs and heave the suitcase up one stair at a time, feeling an uncomfortable wrench in my shoulder. What the hell did she pack in here? Boulders?
Eventually I manage to roll the suitcase inside. I know from experience that a joke about how heavy it is wouldn’t go over well with her at all. It would only lead her to say something sarcastic about what I’d take on a trip—like I’d probably only take a back pack, since I only wear swimsuits and gym clothes. “I’ll put this in your room. Do you want to see it?”
She fans her face with her hand. “Not now. Just get me a drink.”
I turn away, and push the suitcase down the hall to the guest room. When I return, I put some ice in a glass and fill it using water from my reverse osmosis filter.
She wrinkles her nose when I hand the glass to her. “You expect me to drink water from the tap in Mexico? Are you trying to kill me?”
The thought didn’t cross my mind until now. But having to deal with her self-centered ways when I’m barely holding it together is almost too much. Right now, pushing her off the balcony sounds like an excellent idea. “Kelsi, it’s been filtered with reverse osmosis.”
“Whatever. I’m still not drinking any water here unless it’s from a bottle.”
I take the glass from her and pour the water into the sink. “Okay, fine. I’ve got some bottled water I keep in case of hurricanes. But it’s not cold.” I leave the room and grab a bottle from the back of my walk-in closet.
I pour her a glass of the warm water and hand it to her. Then I pour myself another glass of wine and take a long swallow. “How was your trip?”
“Awful. There’s so much traffic in Hermosillo. And this place is ugly. Everything’s random and disorderly. I don’t know how you can live down here. Haven’t you had enough? Don’t you want to go back to America where you can live a decent life?”
Ugly? I don’t think so. Maybe there are unfinished buildings here and there and every house doesn’t look exactly like the one next to i
t, but there’s something comforting about Mexico’s uniqueness and disorder. What I really love is how people are warm and friendly and how life moves slower. And, of course, there is the beautiful sea. “I’m happy here, Kelsi. Did you come all this way to try to persuade me to leave? Why can’t you just accept that what’s good for me might be different from what you want?”
“I didn’t come down here for that reason. You’re the only one who can help me with my little problem.”
Here it comes. “What problem?”
She raises her free hand and studies her red-painted fingernails. “We’ve been together now since before you left. But some issues have come up and I’m not sure how to deal with them.”
“Wait, back up. You’ve been together? With who?”
She sighs and rolls her eyes. “With Brandon, of course. He told me when he broke up with you, he told you about us.”
Prickly heat scratches at my skin and my chest feels like creatures inside are fighting to get out. My body starts to shake. Kelsi didn’t just say what I think she said, did she? I leap from my chair, spilling wine down my front. “What the fuck?” I take a step toward her.
She cringes in her chair, her eyes wide with what looks like surprise mixed with fear. “Uh, I…”
I lean toward her and shake my finger in the air. “You’re the one Brandon left me for?”
“Yes. He said he told you.” She pushes my hand away from her face and frowns. “It was months ago, you must be over it by now. Anyway, since you were with him for a while I thought maybe you could give me some advice. He’s not very adventurous in bed and I can’t seem to persuade him to try anything.”
I’m too stunned to cut her off mid-sentence or slap her, which would have been my normal reaction to this insanity. Instead, I stand in front of her, my mouth open like a beached fish gasping for breath, thinking WTF? But when it hits me what she’s just said, I burst out laughing. This situation is absurd. “Let me get this straight. You stole my boyfriend and now that your sex life isn’t working out so well, you want me to give you advice?” I clap my hands together and laugh again. “This really is classic. And another perfect example of why I left the States.”
Jade's Song (South of the Border Book 2) Page 18