I could see she wanted to ask me about the details of my mission, but I gave her a stern look and she pressed her lips together, refraining from comment.
I was just about to tell her that I’d decided to put in for a job change when she spoke up.
“Are you going to be gone a lot? Because Carter doesn’t need a part time dad. I’d rather he had no father figure in his life than one that blows into it now and then, turning everything upside down and then blowing right out.” Her fingers were twisting together, whether from nervousness or anger, I wasn’t sure. She didn’t need to be either.
“No, I won’t be taking covert assignments anymore,” I attempted to reassure her.
She studied me, those fingers still tangling, her demeanor clearly agitated. “I appreciate your determination at this moment, and I believe you’re sincere, right now. But how do I know you won’t get restless? What if you become unhappy and begin to resent us?” As she finished, she avoided my eyes, focusing on Carter instead. She stood, and I tracked her movements as she scooped him into her arms, my boy fast asleep. She finally reconnected with me, swaying side to side, Carter practically an emotional shield in front of her.
I blinked at her a few times, digesting her words. How she could think I would ever come to regret or resent them was beyond me. It was obvious she was rebuilding her walls and pain pulsed in my heart, but the logical side of my brain argued that no matter how connected we felt, we really didn’t know each other that well.
“You’re going to have to learn to trust me, beautiful,” I stated truthfully.
I waited for her to say something, but she surprised me, turning around and walking out of the room. Putting my elbows on the table, I dropped my head into my hands, using the heels to rub my eyes. I was so fucking tired, but at the same time, energy buzzed over my skin. I was going to break down those fucking walls and right then, I couldn’t think of a better solution than to show her how much I truly needed her. To fuse our bodies into one so she would know how deep in my soul the cravings for her went. Decision made, I stood swiftly and stalked from the room, unwavering in my course of action.
4
Aspen
The one time I wouldn’t have minded it taking him forever to fall asleep, and Carter went down for his nap with barely a whimper. I’d hoped for more time before I faced Weston again—at least a moment or two to wrap my head around the fact that the tattooed bad boy who’d swept me off my feet, knocked me up, and promptly disappeared, was really a super-secret spy with an excellent reason for his vanishing act.
As if he hadn’t been irresistible before, now I had visions of him as the hero in every action movie I’d ever seen. He wasn’t the villain I’d thought him to be for the last year. Instead, he was the kind of guy who saved other people’s lives while risking his own.
After spending so much time trying to force myself to hate him in an effort to heal my broken heart, it was almost too much to believe. I didn’t know whether I wanted to rush out there and tell him he was only going to be a part of my life going forward as Carter’s father or if I wanted to jump his bones and beg him to never leave. But I didn’t have any time to figure it all out because he was waiting for me in the other room.
I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to let me hide in Carter’s room for very long. As crazy as it sounded, other than thinking I’d tried to hide Carter’s existence from him, he seemed happy to know I’d given birth to his baby. The way he’d been looking at me made it clear he would be in favor of the jumping his bones option. And what fine bones they were. If anything, he’d gotten even sexier during his time away. The new ink I’d spotted on his knuckles was incredibly hot. Although, that could just be the months of sexual frustration talking. “Who am I trying to kid? It’s both,” I mumbled to myself as I turned on the baby monitor and grabbed the handheld unit.
After quietly shutting the door to Carter’s room behind me, I was fumbling with the volume dial on the monitor when warm hands wrapped around my upper arms. Weston had apparently made himself at home in my apartment because when he dragged me into my bedroom, the lights were already turned low and the sheets were pulled back on the bed. A bed he settled me onto before following me down to hover over my body.
I looked up at him and knew I was lost. I couldn’t possibly tell him I only wanted him to be in my life as Carter’s dad because it would be a bold-faced lie. I wanted more—heck, I wanted it all. I was just too scared to admit it out loud. I wasn’t ready to be that vulnerable with him again. We’d only spent one weekend together, but I’d had an entire year to miss him and mourn the loss of him in my life.
“I missed you.” I was so dazzled by being near him again that the admission slipped from my lips of its own accord.
His mouth curved into a smug grin, tilting at the edges. His smile was gorgeous and oh so tempting as he gazed down at me. But, it was his eyes that really got to me. His smile lit up the green orbs with naked pleasure, unmasked and right out there for me to see. He wasn’t trying to hide how I made him feel, and it filled me with hope for the future.
Hope quickly turned into desire when he brought his mouth down on mine. It was a gentle brush at first, a barely there caress to test my response. When my lips parted and I whimpered, he gave me more—so much more. His arms drew me tightly against him, crushing me against his body while his tongue swept inside my mouth and he devoured me with his kiss.
I linked my fingers behind his neck, holding on and kissing him back with everything I had. Butterflies swirled in my stomach, and my breath hitched. I’d fallen into bed with Weston so easily before, but this time it felt like a momentous decision—as though there would be no going back if I slept with him again. It meant risking my heart, and this time, I knew exactly how much it would hurt to lose him. But it didn’t stop me from reaching up and tangling my fingers in his hair.
He tore his mouth from mine, his chest heaving. That one lock of dark hair fell onto his forehead, reminding me of the night we’d met. My fingers shook as I tugged it back in place. My belly clenched when he responded by lowering his head and pressing soft, sweet kisses all over my face. My cheeks, my forehead, my nose. He didn’t skip a spot.
Each feather-light brush of his lips sent a tremor through my body. The passion between us had burned brightly during our weekend together, and it hadn’t dimmed at all—not even a tiny bit. If anything, it was deeper. More meaningful.
“Twelve long months,” he growled. “I’ve dreamed of you, each and every damn night.”
“You did?” I breathed out.
His warm eyes met mine, staring straight into my soul when he answered. “My thoughts of you were the only bright spot, the one thing which kept me going during the darkest hours of my mission. Knowing I was coming home to you when it was over was what gave me the strength to get the job done. Even after months of no contact, I clung to the belief that you would be mine.”
If I hadn’t already fallen back into bed with him, that right there would have done the job. It was so darn romantic that my panties practically melted onto the floor all by themselves. But it had been a long year apart, and there was one worry screaming in the back of my head. “Were you with anyone else while you were gone?”
He reared back, a look of shock on his face. “Hell no,” he bit out. “I wasn’t with another woman. How could I be when you’re the only one I want?”
“Neither was I,” I admitted softly and felt him relax against me once again.
“No other women for you, huh?”
“Oh,” I giggled, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. “Shut up and kiss me already.”
“I had a lot more in mind than just kissing you,” he murmured against my lips.
“Then you’d better get to it before I change my mind.”
“Oh, beautiful,” he sighed, trailing kisses along my jaw until his lips were against my ear. “Now that I’ve got you back in my arms, there isn’t a chance in hell I’d let you change your mind about u
s. You’re mine, and I’ll do whatever it takes to remind you of it every damn day.”
He went about doing exactly as he’d promised, stripping us out of our clothes quickly and efficiently. Once I was naked beneath him, his hand went to my throat and circled it. My pulse leapt beneath his palm before he moved it farther down my body, sweeping over my breasts and pausing while his fingers toyed with my nipples. While I writhed beneath him, his hand slid along my rib cage, down to my belly, and finally dipped lower to slide against my wet folds.
His burning green gaze never left mine. Not once. He let me see every ounce of passion he felt for me. The possessiveness and how much he’d missed touching me. It all shone from his eyes and cracked the wall I’d built around my heart during his absence. I was a trembling mass of need when he rose to his knees and circled his cock with his fist. My eyes locked on his hard length, going wide when I spotted two silver balls, one on each side of his cockhead.
“Holy crap! You got your dick pierced?”
“Fuck yeah, I did,” he groaned. “And it hurt like a bitch, but sinking inside you is going to make the pain worth it.”
“But why?” I asked, bewildered by what possibly could have motivated him to get a piercing like this while he’d been on an undercover mission.
He heaved a deep sigh. “There’s a lot of shit I’ve had to do in the past to make sure I didn’t raise any suspicions while undercover. A guy like me, celibate for a whole year? I had to make it believable. An ampallang piercing, which wasn’t healing well, is something none of the guys were going to question too closely because no man wants to think about pain in his cock.”
I was blown away by his answer. As crazy as it sounded, it was probably the most romantic gesture I’d ever experienced. “You got your dick pierced just so you could avoid other women while you were gone?”
“Yeah, and it’s been a damn long year without any relief except for what my hand could give me,” he growled. “You gonna make me wait some more or are you ready for me, beautiful?”
I nodded, feeling as though I’d always been ready for him—as if I’d been made for him. But I didn’t say yes out loud because I was afraid of what else would spill past my lips if I tried to speak. Although I was more than ready for him to make love to me, I wasn’t quite there when it came to sharing what was inside my heart.
Our legs were tangled together, his hips snugly cradled against mine. With the broad tip of his cock nudging my entrance, he lifted my legs and wrapped them around his hips. My heels dug into his ass cheeks as I arched my back and tried to buck my hips upward to make him slide into me.
He caught my hands and raised them above my head, threading his fingers through mine as he pinned them against the mattress. And then finally, his hips thrust forward and he filled me.
“Holy fuck, you feel even better than you did a year ago,” he groaned. With those two little silver balls gliding against me with each thrust of his dick, I could only moan in agreement.
He moved slowly at first, his gaze burning into mine as he worshipped my body with his. It was the most intimate moment of my life, his body moving slowly over mine while I stared into his eyes. It was so damn beautiful I almost didn’t want to break the spell. But with the tension building in my body, I wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer.
My hips moved to meet his, building the friction between us. My fingers tightened against him as I tried to fight the pleasure, to make it last longer.
“I’m so close,” I gasped out.
“Give it to me,” he growled. “Come for me, beautiful.”
He leaned forward and captured my lips. The combination of his raspy words and the new angle of his cock as it sank into me sent lightning streaking through my body. With my pussy pulsing around his cock, he slammed into me deep and hard until he orgasmed with me, emptying himself inside me.
I lay under him a long time, wrapped around his warm body and enjoying being close to him again. When he rolled, taking me with him so I was on top, I felt our combined come slide from my body.
“Crap,” I groaned, dropping my head onto his shoulder. “You forgot to use a condom. Not that it did us much good last time around, since I still managed to get pregnant with Carter.”
“I didn’t wear one, but it wasn’t because I forgot,” he corrected me with a smirk. “I can’t fucking wait to see your belly round with another of my babies, and this time around I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”
Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Because it sounded an awful lot like he… No, I couldn’t handle this yet. Squeezing my eyes shut, I slowed my breathing and let my body relax against his. This was Weston’s first day back in my life—our lives—and I needed more than an hour to adjust to my new reality, whatever it was.
5
Weston
Aspen didn’t react to my comment and I let it go for the moment, content to quietly hold her in my arms. It felt fucking amazing to have her naked body plastered against mine. I could feel her heartbeat on my chest, still pounding from our spent passion.
My hands roamed over her soft skin, everywhere they could reach, and her little sigh of pleasure had my semi-hard cock stirring to life. She lifted her head and stared at me with eyebrows raised in question.
I grinned and slightly bucked my hips. “He’s been deprived of your pussy for a year, sweetheart. You can’t blame him for being greedy.”
She giggled, and fuck if that sound didn’t make my dick come to full attention. The humor on her face faded, replaced by heat and need. I gripped her hips and lifted her enough so I could line up with her sex and pull her down as I drove up into her. As the metal piercing dragged along her walls, our shared moans meshed like perfect harmony.
“Ride me, beautiful. Fuck me hard,” I panted. Beads of sweat dotted my skin from the effort I was making to let her be in charge. It was one way I could show her that she was still in control of her life. But, my bruising grip on her hips also indicated that it only went so far. When it came to us, there was no other option but to accept it. I wasn’t going to let her go ever again.
Her brown eyes were hazy with lust and her smile almost broke me. Then she began to move, and I forgot all about everything but the feel of her pussy wrapped around my cock. She rocked back and forth, swiveling her hips in experimentation, trying to gauge what felt the best. I had no opinion on the matter, it all felt fucking amazing to me.
I unlocked my hands from her hips and glided them up to cup her generous tits. She cried out when I pinched her nipples and her movements sped up, becoming more frantic. Her walls began to pulse around me and I knew she was getting close.
My patience was tapped and I needed to take charge. Returning my hands to her sides, my fingers dug in hard, probably leaving bruises as I guided her until she was sliding up and down my cock, her tits bouncing, and her head thrown back in ecstasy. I’d never seen anything more beautiful.
“Look at you,” I whispered. “So fucking gorgeous. Seeing you like this. Feeling your tight little pussy holding me in. Fuck! Harder, Aspen! Yeah, baby, just like that! Fuck, yeah!”
I flipped her over and drove back in, changing the angle so my piercing hit that special spot inside, driving her fucking wild. A tingling began at the base of my spine, I wasn’t going to last much longer. The fingers of one hand journeyed to her clit and I pinched it, setting her off. She screamed my name, and I couldn’t stop the orgasm from ripping through me. I thrust in and buried myself deep in her pussy, releasing my come into her womb with high hopes that it would take root.
The world eventually stopped spinning and our heart rates slowed to a normal pace. Staying inside her, I rolled to my back and folded her securely into my arms. She sighed and nuzzled her nose into my chest.
After a few minutes, her breathing evened out and I gently rolled us to the side so I could watch her sleep. She looked as magnificent as ever, but I frowned at the faint purple smudges around her eyes. She had to have been e
xhausted, raising a newborn all on her own. The thought sparked the simmering anger I’d practically forgotten about, building the rage once again. I needed to find out who was responsible for this bullshit. I was going to destroy the motherfucker.
I used two fingers to brush some of her hair off her forehead, then slowly ran them down to the ends of the golden strands. I would have loved to stay there all day, to take care of Carter and let her rest. But, I had shit to do if I wanted to get everything settled and I’d be back in a few hours. I wasn’t going to spend another night without her, or miss putting my son to bed. I’d already lost too much time with them. Whether Aspen was ready or not, I was moving in that evening until I found us a house.
I brushed a kiss along her cheekbone, then carefully slipped out of the bed to avoid waking her. Gathering my clothes, I dressed quickly and checked the baby monitor to make sure she’d hear Carter when he woke. I spotted a tiny desk shoved into a corner of the small, “master” bedroom. I shook my head as I headed toward it. Whatever house we ended up in, our room would be large enough for a spacious bed, big enough to accommodate . . . energetic activities.
I found a pad of paper and a pen, quickly scrawled a note telling her I had some things to take care of and would be back soon. My hand hesitated at the end, unsure of how I should sign it. I glanced back at the sleeping goddess—the woman I loved, and decided not to hold back. I wasn’t playing any games.
Love, W.
I folded the note in half and laid it on the pillow, then tenderly kissed her once more before dragging myself out of the room and away from her.
I looked in on Carter, tempted to forget my errands and stay there, staring at my precious boy. It was still hard to wrap my head around the fact that Aspen and I had produced this perfect little bundle. Using a single finger, I traced his forehead, his cheeks, and his little button nose. “I’ll be back, buddy. Don’t forget my promise,” I whispered.
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