by E. L. Todd
“Thank you.” He spooned her from behind and held her hand in his.
“I love you,” she whispered.
He said nothing, letting the silence deafen around them. He loved her more than anything but he couldn’t admit it. He was afraid if he did, she would leave him again. Being indifferent is what made her come back to him to begin with.
21
When Derek walked into the cafeteria the next day, Paola was sitting with his friends.
She stood up then wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a long kiss in front of everyone. The passion of her lips surprised him, making a tiny gasp escape his mouth. When she pulled away, she rubbed his nose against his. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
“I was wondering if you’d have lunch with me and my friends today.”
Derek was surprised by the request. He wasn’t expecting it. “Sure.”
She smiled. “Thanks.” She grabbed his hand and led him to another table. “This is Lana and Karina,” Paola said.
Derek shook hands with them.
“Derek is my boyfriend,” she explained.
“Since when?” Lana asked.
“Since yesterday,” Paola said as she sat down.
Derek sat beside her and kept his hands in his lap.
Paola grabbed his hand and held it on his thigh.
“So, when did this happen?” Lana asked. She had brown hair that was almost black. Her fingernails were yellow and she had a yellow flower in her hair.
“We’ve been dating for a while, now we’re official,” Paola said while she looked at him. “And I love him.”
Derek’s eyes widened at her public declaration of love.
“Whoa,” Karina said. “Let’s keep this PG.”
Paola leaned in and kissed him gently.
“So Vince is officially history,” Lana said.
“He’s been history,” Paola said.
Derek glanced at the table where his friends were sitting. Coen nodded his approval and Sydney smiled at him. Ren stared at them with her arms crossed over her chest. Derek knew Paola was already winning his friends over by her gesture. She was very public with their relationship, not hiding it from anyone.
Derek finished his classes with a better attitude. Before, he couldn’t care less about mitochondrial respiration versus the electron transport chain, but now that he felt better, he actually concentrated. When he got home, Paola called him.
“Hey baby,” she said.
She’d never called him that before. Derek was becoming more surprised as the day wore on. “Hey.”
“Do you have any plans tonight?”
“No.”
“Well, now you do.”
“What are we doing?”
“I want you to have dinner with me and my brother.”
“I thought your brother lived in Oregon.”
“He’s visiting,” she explained. “I would love it if you met him.”
“Of course, Paola.”
“Thank you.” The smile was evident in her voice. “Can you be here in an hour?”
“I’ll see you soon.” He hung up.
“Where are you going?” Cheyenne asked.
“Having dinner with Paola’s family.”
She stared at him. “Talk about a mood swing.”
“She’s trying,” Derek said. “And I’m glad she is.”
“I’ll take some more convincing.”
“Be nice to her, Cheyenne. I love this girl.”
“I’ll be whatever I want.”
“I mean it,” he said. “Don’t disrespect her.”
Cheyenne stared at the TV and said nothing.
Derek changed then left for her apartment. When he walked to the front door, he felt nervous. He knew nothing about her brother. He’d never met a girl’s family before. He wasn’t sure how to act. He knocked and waited.
“Hey,” Paola said with a smile. “Come in.”
He nodded then stepped inside.
She grabbed his face and kissed him.
Derek returned her embrace quickly then stepped away, not wanting to be too affectionate in front of her brother. “I brought wine,” he said.
“Thank you,” she said as she grabbed it.
Derek stepped inside and saw a tall man approach him. His hair was the same color as hers, but he was pale like a ghost. He was the same height as Paola. Derek extended his hand. “I’m Derek. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise,” he said. “I’m Rob. Now I can put a name to a face. My sister won’t stop talking about you.”
Paola grabbed Derek’s arm and gave him a big kiss. “Because he’s the love of my life.”
Derek was speechless when he pulled away. Their relationship was totally different. He felt like they switched places.
Rob stared at him. “You go to school with Paola?”
He nodded. “And I surf with her.”
“You sound perfect for each other,” he said with a smile.
Paola looked at him. “He’s just happy you aren’t Vince. Nobody likes him.”
“And for good reason,” Derek said.
Rob nodded. “I like him already.”
Paola smiled then set the table. Derek sat down and her brother sat across from him. She made crusted parmesan chicken and vegetables. It looked amazing. Derek didn’t know she knew how to cook.
Paola sat very closer to Derek, her thigh touching his.
“This looks really good,” he said.
“Thank you.” She poured everyone a glass of wine. “And this wine looks fantastic.”
Derek dug into his food and marveled at the taste.
“Have you talked to Dad?” Paola asked, stabbing asparagus with her fork.
“Yeah,” Rob said quietly.
“How’s he doing?”
“The same.”
Derek looked at her. “You still don’t talk to him?”
She looked away. “No.”
“Our dad is a dick,” Rob said. “I don’t feel bad that he’s disabled and can hardly walk. It’s his own fault. And he shouldn’t treat Paola like garbage.”
“Just because you took those pictures?” Derek asked. “I don’t get it.”
“Neither do I,” Rob snapped. “If Paola hadn’t done that, she’d be paying off those bills for the rest of her life, her kid’s life, even her grandkid’s life.” He shook his head. “It’s bullshit.”
Paola smiled at him. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry,” Derek said to her.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. She looked at her brother. “Got a lady friend in your life?”
He shrugged. “Not really. Just girls I see casually here and there.”
She rolled her eyes. “You mean casual sex?”
“Maybe,” he said with a smile.
“My brother is a whore,” Paola explained.
“You’re one to talk,” Rob said with a laugh. “A lingerie model.”
“Just because I take pictures doesn’t mean I don’t keep my legs closed,” she said.
“Does she?” Rob asked Derek.
Derek felt awkward. “Yes…”
Paola laughed. “I’ve wanted to have sex for a while but Derek won’t give it up.”
Rob raised an eyebrow. “Wow. You actually found a gentleman.”
Derek wasn’t sure what was going on. He’d never around siblings that were this close. It seemed like they told each other everything.
“My sister needs to be tamed,” Rob said. “So good job. Who knew withholding sex would work.”
Paola shook her head. “But that’ll change. I’ll break him.”
Derek was feeling more awkward by the second.
Rob smiled. “Loosen up,” he said with a laugh. “Paola and I talk about sex all the time.”
Derek laughed. “I’m just—not used to it. My sister and I discuss it but not in detail.”
“Well, my brother and I are very open,” Paola said.
Paola ate her dinner while her hand was placed on Derek’s thigh. She and her brother joked and laughed the whole time. Derek immediately liked her brother. He was protective of his sister, but also laid back. He was definitely a guy Derek could hang with.
When dinner was over, Derek helped Paola with the dishes then sat in the living room with her. She was practically sitting on his lap while they watched TV. Her brother didn’t seem uncomfortable with their affection. When it got late, Derek turned to Paola. “I should get going.”
“Sleep with me,” she said quickly.
“Isn’t your brother staying here?”
“I have two bedrooms.”
“I don’t feel comfortable doing that.”
She rolled her eyes. “Derek, I’m an adult and I’m in love with you. I made that clear to him.”
“I—I still feel disrespectful doing that. I wanted this to go somewhere so I really don’t want to jeopardize it now.”
She sighed. “Well, I made you a drawer so you better bring your stuff over.”
His eyes widened. “You made me a drawer?”
“And you have one in the bathroom too.” She smiled at him then cupped his check. “I love you, Derek. I want to be with you all the time.”
He said nothing, unable to form a coherent thought. “I should go…”
She sighed sadly. “Okay.” She stood up and walked him out.
“It was nice meeting you,” Derek said.
“Likewise,” Rob said. “Keep my sister in line.”
“I’ll try,” Derek said.
Paola walked Derek outside then shut the door behind her. “Thank you for coming over.”
“Thank you for inviting me.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at him. “Come on, Derek.”
He knew what she meant. “I’m trying,” he whispered.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close.
Derek returned her embrace and pressed his face into her neck. He held her for a long time, saying nothing.
Paola pulled away and kissed him gently on the lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“I love you.”
He stared at her then kissed her again. “Goodnight.”
She looked heartbroken that he didn’t say it back. But he wasn’t ready—not yet.
22
The weeks passed by. Derek concentrated on school and spent more time with Paola. They went to the movies, surfed together every morning, and went out to dinner. Paola spent time at the apartment. The longer she was around, the more his sister warmed up to her.
Cheyenne was still depressed over Ryder, but Derek wasn’t sure how to make it better. He offered to hook her up with other guys, but she always rejected the offer, saying she was sick of men. Derek didn’t push her. But he wished she would move out and get her own place. He didn’t mind having her around, but he really wanted to have the house to himself, especially when Paola slept over.
Their sexual relationship started again, and Derek was hot all over again. She told him she loved him every day, but he was still scared. He wasn’t sure why. Their relationship was perfect, exactly how he wanted it to be. She was affectionate with him constantly, kissing him and holding him whenever it was aloud. And when they were in the bedroom, she kissed him like it was the last thing she’s ever do it. When she went down on him, she gave the best head he’d ever received. She was insatiable in the bedroom, just the way he liked.
“Derek, tell me something,” she said when they were in bed one night.
“Huh?”
“We’ve been back together for a month.”
Derek looked at her, waiting for her to continue.
“And we still haven’t made love. What more do you want me to do?”
He sighed. “I—I don’t know. I’m not sure what’s holding me back.”
“Do you still love me, Derek? Because I’m in love with you and say it every chance I get. You haven’t said it once…”
Derek looked away.
“You don’t?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“So you do?”
“I’m just scared to say it.”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid you’ll leave me if I do.”
She rubbed his chest. “Derek, I know I hurt you, but I’m not going anywhere. I feel like I’ve proven that to you. I’m open about our relationship, I told my brother I loved you, I won your friends over, I’m still working on your sister. You’re the only one who’s holding you back.”
“I know,” he whispered.
She sat up and looked at him. “So, what do you want me to do?”
“I wish I knew.”
She sighed. “I guess I’ll keep waiting.”
He stared at the ceiling and became lost in thought. He couldn’t stop the defense mechanism he made for himself. He felt like his shield was constantly up, waiting for her to get up and leave. It was a blow he knew would come. He couldn’t shake the feeling.
“Derek?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you move in with me?”
He looked at her. “What?”
“Move in with me,” she whispered. “We’re together all the time anyway. I love being with you. I want to go to bed with you every night, see your face before I fall asleep. I want to have you in the house, see you come home every night. That’s what I want. And I want to make love every night.”
He sat up and rested his elbows on his knees. “You’re being serious?”
She moved next to him. “Of course I am.”
“That’s a big step.”
“And I’m ready for it.”
“We’ve only been together for a few months.”
She shrugged. “I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We could be together for a year, but that fact won’t change. I was afraid to fall for you because of your reputation, but that label is no longer valid. You’re perfect for me in every way. You have the same sexual appetite as me, the same values, and you care about the same things I do. You’re the only person who told me to pursue my dream instead of playing it safe, believing in me. Derek, you’re the one I want for the rest of my life.” She sighed, her eyes coating with years. “I hate myself for ruining what we had. You aren’t the same and I’m afraid you’ll never be again, but I still love you more than anything. I want to be with you, Derek. Please live with me.”
He looked at her. “You’re sure?”
“More sure than anything.”
“Can I think about it?”
She sighed sadly. “Take all the time you need, Derek.”
“If I did do that, I’d have to figure out my sister’s situation.”
“She could stay with us if she needed to.”
“No,” he said. “She has to get out on her own. I won’t take care of her forever.”
She rubbed his arm. “Well, come to a decision first.” She lay down and cuddled next to him, holding him like she did every night. She closed her eyes and started to breathe deeply.
Derek stared at the ceiling for a long time. The fact that Paola wanted to move in with him made him happy. It’s exactly what he wanted, to be with her forever. The serious gesture made him more trusting. She wouldn’t offer something like that if she just wanted to have fun. That was a serious commitment. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.
At lunch the next day, he hurried to the cafeteria before Paola arrived.
“I need to talk,” Derek said immediately.
Coen raised an eyebrow. “Okay…”
“Paola asked me to move in with her,” Derek said.
“That’s great,” Sydney said.
“Do you think I should do it?” Derek asked.
“What kind of question is that?” Coen asked. “We can’t make that decision for you.”
Derek sighed. “Do you think that means I can trust her?”
&nbs
p; Ren nodded. “I think that means she wants to spend forever with you.”
Derek smiled. “That’s exactly what I want.”
“Then you have your answer,” Coen said.
“I think I do.”
After school, he went home to find Cheyenne on the couch.
“Hey, I need to talk to you about something,” he said as he walked over to her. She was staring at a check on her lap. “What’s that?”
She finally looked at him. “Ryder brought this by.”
He grabbed it and looked at the amount. “He gave it back to you?”
She nodded.
Derek was speechless.
“It was so weird. He seemed so…edgy. Like he was scared or something.”
Derek raised an eyebrow. “That is weird.”
“I know.”
“Did you ask why he gave this to you?”
“No, he just handed it to me and left.”
Derek grabbed the check and looked at it. The check was very feminine to come from a guy. “How much did you give him?”
“Ten thousand.”
“So why did he give you twenty?”
“I don’t know. He wouldn’t say.”
Derek found it extremely suspicious. Why would Ryder just bring her a check months after the broke up.
“What did you want to talk about?”
He put the check down. “Paola and I are moving in together.”
She said nothing for a long time. “Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
He nodded.
“You trust her?”
“Now I do. She wouldn’t have asked me that if she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life with me. I don’t see her leaving me again.”
“Well, if that’s what you want, I’m happy for you.”
“I would really love it if you two got along. You can keep hating her but it won’t change anything.”
“I don’t hate her,” she said quietly.
“You act like it.”
“I’m just protective of my baby brother.”
He smiled. “I can take care of myself, Cheyenne.”
“I know,” she said. “I’ll apologize.”
“Thank you.”
She stood up and hugged him. “Congratulations.”
He smiled. “Thank you.”
“So, I should find a place to live, huh?”
Derek laughed. “It would be appreciated. But you don’t need to rush. You can live with us while you look for a place.”