“Seriously, you were awesome!” I said, getting to my feet and walking over to the two of them. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Actually, I should thank you. When I saw you use Kidney Shot and Revering Vendetta, it made me wonder if I could use my barbarian skills.” He grinned. “I just learned Charge and Power Strike!” He danced a little. “Best of all, neither one requires mana to use.”
“Oh?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. “What do they use?”
“Health, but if I do damage with the attacks, all that damage is converted back into health, so it works out..” He smirked like he relished the idea of using precious health to attack his enemies. “It’s pretty much exactly like how it is in Titan Gate, so it looks like, if nothing else, they got those moves right.”
“Well, I guess that means we have to be nice to you, eh?” George exclaimed in a mocking tone, but the way he looked at the barbarian was full of affection.
“Aww, don’t be mad because I saved you, bunny.” Two’ Manchu turned serious as he spoke. “I’m sure you’ll get to repay the favor soon.”
As I looked around the cave, I instantly agreed with the barbarian’s assessment. The room we were in wasn’t all that big, but I could see it branch off to the left toward where the two other wendigoes had come from. I wasn’t sure if more were coming, but either way, that’s where we needed to go.
21
“I feel fine,” Two’ Manchu said as we circled the corner and found stairs leading down into the depths of the earth instead of up. “Really. This is okay. I am okay with this turn of events.”
“Well, I’m not. This is balls!” George said, glancing at me. “You really wanna go down there, boss? I mean, I’m all for going into holes, but at the same time…”
“I’m not sure we have a choice. What’s the alternative, wait in the other room for someone to find us?” I asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow at the bunny.
“You know, we could always teleport out with our scrolls,” Two’ Manchu said, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree. “In fact, I think that’s a great idea.”
“Actually, that is a good idea. We’re supposed to be killing zombies and ghouls which are easy and slow, not moving through a dank, dark cave filled with wendigoes who don’t seem to feel pain. Let’s amscray.” I nodded at the barbarian as I reached into my bag and pulled out a scroll. “Ready?”
“And willing,” the barbarian replied, pulling out his own scroll. “On three. Three.”
As I invoked the scroll in my hand nothing happened.
“You cannot teleport in this zone,” Elizabeth the HUD told me unhelpfully as I stared at the scroll in disbelief.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I grumbled, glaring at the stupid, worthless scroll in my hand. I had half a mind to chuck the thing at the wall, but it was expensive, so I just shook it a bit in impotent rage.
“Fuck!” Two’ Manchu growled, but it was a half-hearted growl that sort of died as he realized we had only one way to go, down. “I knew I should have never listened to you. I could have stayed in town and banged that NPC until her eyes turned to zeros. Instead, I’m here in a fucking cave filled with monsters.”
“You’re forgetting I saved your life,” I said shaking my head angrily. I was pissed at him and the scroll. How could the stupid scroll not work here? It had one fucking job. To get us out of tough situations.
Worse, what if we got trapped down here with no way of escape and where the fuck was Ivan? Shouldn’t he be here? No, of course not. Why would the guy tasked with making sure we won the fucking game be here to help? That was fucking crazy talk. Fuck.
Somehow, the stairs down looked darker and danker than they had a moment before. Still, we had to move forward. One foot after another. Eat an elephant one bit at a time and all that jazz.
“It doesn’t matter if you saved my life if we die down here. I might be a brain in a fucking box, but at least I’m still kind of alive. I have no desire to be all the way dead!” Two’ Manchu cried, shoving me hard. I stumbled backward and hit the wall, and as I did, a pink glow surrounded the barbarian.
“Another player has attacked you. You are able to reciprocate without damaging your nature,” Elizabeth told me as I shook my head and glared at the barbarian. Only, he wasn’t looking at me. His face was frozen in a horrified scowl.
“It says, I attacked another player and if I kill you, I’ll damage my nature. If I accumulate twenty kills, it says I’ll get sent to Hell.” He swallowed and took a step backward, raising his hands in that “I surrender," gesture. “Sorry dude, I over reacted.”
As I watched the anguish play across his face, I huffed out a breath. I sort of knew how he felt. I was frustrated with our current situation too. It sucked, and what’s more, neither of us had asked to be here, let alone to have our skulls carved open by a mad scientist. It was bullshit of the highest degree.
Two’ Manchu shook his head as George the bunny eyed him carefully. “I dunno, boss. You want me to teach him a thing or two?” The rabbit bared his teeth at the barbarian and snarled. “I can give him the old, one two punch.”
“No, we’re good.” I got to my feet and sighed. I knew he wasn’t really angry at me. No, he was angry at the circumstances. They’d been set upon us, and at the moment, we had no fucking clue what to do. It was fucking bullshit. Still, getting mad about it wouldn’t help unless we could channel it to our advantage. “How about we save the outrage for the monsters because I don’t know about you, but I really want to punch something in the face, right now.”
I offered him my hand even though part of me wanted to punch him in the nuts. Part of it was because I was attempting to be the bigger man, but most of it was because I wanted his help to live.
“All right,” the barbarian said, taking my hand and giving it a quick shake. “Ready to get moving?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I said, heading toward the darkened stairs. As I moved, the light spell I’d cast flowed along in front of me, lighting up the passageway.
Glittering gemstones filled the entirety of the space. Looking into the tunnel was like trying to stare directly into a disco ball collection. Frustration filled me as I averted my eyes while shading them with one hand.
“Bright in there,” Two’ Manchu said from behind me with a sigh. “You think we should turn off the light?”
“No, that’s what they want us to do, then when it’s off, they’ll jump us from the shadows.” I glanced at the barbarian. “No, the light is staying on. Besides, I’m not stepping foot into a creepy hole in the dark. That is absolutely where I draw the line.”
The barbarian nodded at me. “Fair enough.” Then he stood there waiting for me to go first. Man, what happened to go forth and conquer? I sighed and shut my eyes for a second, steeling myself for the inevitable attack that was to come.
I gripped my twin short swords and slowly made my way down the stairs. The stone was strangely spongy feeling beneath my feet, and as I moved, they sort of bounced so it was like trying to walk down a staircase made of trampolines.
“Careful,” I said, glancing over my shoulders. “The stairs are sort of bouncy.” I gestured to the razor sharp shards of crystal all around. “It’s probably to ensure we get sliced to ribbons.”
“Gotcha, boss!” George said, hopping along beside me. If the trampoline stairs bothered him, I couldn’t tell, but then again, jumping was his natural mode of transportation.
I nodded to the bunny and made my way downward, careful to take each step as slowly as possible to minimize bounce. It worked more or less at first, but after I reached the halfway point, it was all I could do to keep myself from going flying. No, this wasn’t going to work. Maybe I could jump the rest of the way down?
“George, got any tips?” I asked, glancing at the rabbit who shook his head at me while bouncing up and down. “Because I’m thinking the only way down is to jump over the rest of the stairs and that seems like a terrible idea.”
“What if we freeze the stairs?” Two’ Manchu asked, and from the sound of his voice, I could tell he was a lot farther back than I’d expected him to be.
“What?” I asked, turning to look at him. As soon as I did, I saw why he was going so slowly. Each step was causing him to bounce a lot more than I had, and since he was bigger, he had to work way harder to keep from becoming shish kabob.
“You know, when stuff gets cold, it becomes more rigid. If we make the stairs colder, it should make it so they bounce less. It’s basic physics, man.” He nodded once before his face fell. “Of course, we might slip then, but one seems worse than the other.”
“I don’t know if real world physics will work here…” I muttered, glancing around the corridor. I had no desire to slip and skewer myself, but bouncing and skewering myself wasn’t exactly high on my bucket list either.
“Let’s try it anyway,” Two’ Manchu said, glancing at the bunny. “You up for freezing some stairs, George?”
“I’m not sure that will work,” George replied doubtfully. “I don’t think Cone of Ice works that way.”
“What if you want it really badly?” I asked, deciding to try it. What did we have to lose if it didn’t work? Nothing. We’d be in the same spot. I knelt down and scratched the bunny under the chin. “What’s the harm in trying?”
“None, I guess.” George scooted away from my hand and then wiggled past me. “Now stand back. I’m gonna freeze some motherfucking stairs, boy!”
I shook my head at the rabbit as a crazed gleam filled his eyes. His body began to glow with arctic blue light, and as it did, the air temperature dropped so much I could see myself breathe. A shiver wracked my body as hoarfrost spread out from beneath the bunny’s feet.
As he eyed the rest of the stairway, George cried, “Prepare to be frozen, bitches!” while leaping upward and executing a tremendous backflip that unleashed a volley of ice that would have made Jack Frost jealous.
As the ice lance tore down the stairwell, hoarfrost covered everything around us, so that by the time the spell struck the doorway at the bottom and exploded in a flurry of sleet and snow, the corridor was a veritable winter wonderland.
“How’s that?” George asked, glancing at me as he tapped one large foot on his stair. It elicited no bounce. Hell, it didn’t even consider bouncing.
“Sweet!” I said, grabbing the bunny and shaking him happily. “You did it!”
“First, take your hand off me right now you fucking monkey,” George snarled, glaring at me with such fury, I hurriedly put him down. “Secondly, of course I fucking did it, motherfucker. I’m George W. Bunny!”
“Noted,” I said as I took a tentative step downward and nearly fell on my ass because it was so slick. Still, it was better than bouncing, that was for sure. “Be careful. It’s pretty slick.”
“Of course it is. It’s fucking ice,” Two’ Manchu said, coming up behind me. “And you’re welcome for my genius plan.” Then, for the first time ever, he took the lead, marching confidently past me.
He made it almost a quarter of the way down before he slipped and fell on his butt. I’m not sure why, but I laughed so hard I started crying.
“It’s not funny, ass clown. That fucking hurt,” he snapped, glaring up at me as I approached him.
“Yeah it is, man.” I smirked and offered him my hand, but he ignored it as he got to his feet.
“It really is,” George added, smirking at the barbarian. “But it’s cool. That’s why we have you around. For comic relief.”
“Says the talking gangster bunny,” Two’ Manchu said, shaking his head at me as he made his way the rest of the way down. Only when he got there, his shoulders slumped. “Say, Kahn, do you have any fire magic, ‘cause your dumbass bunny froze the fucking door shut.”
“Say what?” I asked as I arrived on the stairwell next to him. He was right. The entire door was covered in a thick layer of ice, and as I stared at it helplessly, I realized I had no way of melting it.
“Hey, what can I say? Sometimes when I go off, it’s like a jackhammer, and I’m all bam, bam, bam, thank you mam!” George said from his perch on the stair next to me. “Still, it’s no biggie. We can just take the door to the left.” He pointed at the blank wall to our left.
“Dude, there’s not a fucking door there, you stupid rodent!” Two’ Manchu growled, and as he glared daggers at the rabbit, I turned to look at the wall. Something about it was definitely off, but it didn’t seem like it was a door. Still, at his core, George was part of the AI that controlled this place, and if he said there was a door, well, I believed him.
“Yes, there is, you fucking Neanderthal!” George hollered back while Two’ Manchu mimed rolling up his sleeves before shaking his ham-sized fist at the bunny.
“One of these days, Alice,” he snapped as I reached out and touched the wall in question. Only instead of stopping on the frozen stone, my hand pressed through the surface and into the wall. A feeling like warm jam rushed over my hand, and as I turned to tell my compadres what’d happened, the entire wall exploded outward, spraying me with sticky goo.
“See, I told you there was a door there,” George said, wiping his slimy face with one paw.
“Yeah, thanks,” I said, sighing. I was covered in lime green gunk that smelled like old pond water. “Maybe a little more warning next time?”
“Well, just stow this one away for later. The next time there’s a door, try not to jerk it off, okay?” George said, waggling a bunny eyebrow at me like he was Jim’s Dad in American Pie. “I mean, it’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing, and I totally don’t care about it, but your barbarian friend might. He seems like the dainty type.”
“Are you calling me dainty, you long-eared rat?” the barbarian scoffed as I directed my light spell into the newly discovered alcove to find it filled with spider webs. Great. Just great. I fucking hated spiders.
“Oh, no. Fuck that shit,” I said, taking a step back and bumping into Two’ Manchu. “There is no way I’m going into a room filled with spiders.” I shook my head, remembering all the times I’d been attacked by spiders when I’d had the summer job cleaning out rain gutters. I could still remember how I’d tried to ignore a black widow the size of my thumb only to have it climb up my glove and try to bite me. “No. We’ll just sit here and wait for the door to thaw.”
“Spider webs, dude. There’s no spiders that I can see. That just means no one’s been here in a while. Besides, you know what they say,” the barbarian said, placing one big hand in the center of my back and shoving me forward into the room. “There’s nothing to fear but fear itself!”
“And spiders!” I cried as I stumbled into the web-filled room and turned to glare at the big oaf. “And spiders.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Two’ Manchu said, smirking as he and George stepped in along with me, and before I could rightly yell at him, a door slammed down over the alcove we’d come through and my light spell faded away, leaving us in complete and utter darkness.
22
“Light!” I said for the fifteenth time, and like the fourteen times before it, nothing happened.
“Can we just move the fuck on?” Two’ Manchu asked, glaring at me as he tried to get me to move away from the entrance once more. It was a bit weird because, for whatever reason, I could see both him and George clearly, as well as whatever objects they interacted with, but the room was otherwise dark.
As Two’ Manchu had paced the room while I’d been trying to get my magic to work, he’d started off in denial, moved on to anger at not finding a way out, and was now moving into the bargaining stage of our relationship. “I’ve been wandering around while you’ve been standing there like a dumbass, and there’s nothing here save a bunch of skeletons. We need to find a way out.”
“And what made the fucking skeletons?” I asked, glaring at him. I wasn’t sure if he could see me because of the darkness, but I was determined to let him know I hated him a lot. “Something made them.”
“It doesn’t matter because I’ve walked over every inch of this room, and it isn’t here now,” Two’ Manchu said, shaking his head as he tried to assure me there wasn’t some kind of giant armor-plated demon spider lurking in the shadows. “Look, I don’t want to be down here either, but we are. Obviously, we’ve stumbled into some kind of pop up dungeon so the only way to defeat it is to kill the boss and open a portal back outside. Let’s just get this shit done, okay? The sooner we get out of here, the better.”
I stared at him in shock. So far, Two’ Manchu had been pretty scared about everything, but ever since he’d learned a few barbarian skills, he’d grown a lot more confident. It was a bit weird. Still, just because he’d been a scaredy cat before, didn’t make him wrong now.
If this place was like the pop up dungeons in Titan Gate, we’d have to beat the dungeon boss to escape. Those dungeons and their corresponding bosses weren’t normally that difficult, either. In the game, I’d loved finding them because the experience was good and the loot the boss dropped was typically a lot better than what you’d normally get from monsters of the same level.
The dungeons also adjusted to your level and gear, so you never found yourself over-matched or steamrolling through even if you happened to find one in a newbie area. I wasn’t sure if it was that way here, but I sort of hoped it was. Then we wouldn’t get crushed beneath the boot of some overly powerful bad guy.
“Okay,” I said, nodding at the barbarian. “You’re right, let’s do this.” I edged toward him in the darkness, and as I did, an idea struck me. When the doors had first opened, spider webs had covered every surface, true, but there’d been sconces in the walls. Maybe we could light them?
“Good. I’m glad you’re finally getting on board with this,” Two’ Manchu said, moving forward with one hand along the wall. As he moved, he kicked away a skeleton, causing its bones to scatter across the floor.
Soulstone: Awakening (World of Ruul Book 1) Page 14