~~***~~
Crystal made a lovely hostess, even though she was no longer technically part of the school. She showed us around and introduced us to a few of the staff. The school was very impressive, and the more I saw, the more I began to feel comfortable about leaving my child here. Everyone appeared very experienced and professional, so I knew he would be in good hands.
The days before the birth were utter relaxation. We took short walks, and watched movies, and read, and talked. And I took naps. Me, taking naps—unbelievable—I’d never taken a nap in my life.
Then, at what I imagined could be exactly six weeks from when I would have conceived, I began to go into labour. It did feel odd—all this movement going on inside me—but it wasn’t what I’d call painful. But when I put my hands to my protruding belly, Crystal and Mladen stood up and escorted me upstairs to the delivery room. The room was white and sparkling clean.
Crystal helped me change into a gown and then helped me onto a bed that was very much like an examination table in a doctor’s office, only a bit wider. She stood beside me, and placed her hand on my forehead and spoke very softly saying that everything would be fine and it would be over before I knew it.
A few minutes later there was a strong contraction and I caught my breath at the unexpected pain. Mladen stepped up on the opposite side of me and put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘This won’t hurt, just a simple injection—nothing more than a pin prick. It will help you relax.’
I closed my eyes as the needle came toward me, but he was right, after the initial prick I didn’t feel a thing and I certainly relaxed.
~~***~~
When I opened my eyes sometime later, I recognised the room that Sam and I were sharing. I was in bed, leaning back against several pillows. My limbs felt heavy, but I was in no pain at all.
Crystal stood beside the bed, and spoke to me in a voice that was almost like a lullaby.
‘How are you feeling, Lili?’
‘Fine … just a bit tired is all. But I’m not in any pain or anything.’
‘I didn’t think you would be. The baby is fine. Perfect, actually. Everything went smoothly. You may feel a bit groggy for a while, until the sedatives completely wear off. Just relax and let yourself fall back to sleep if you can. The rest will do you good.’
I must have fallen back asleep, because when I opened my eyes again, I felt much more normal. Sam stood beside the bed, holding our baby in his arms, while Crystal sat in a chair in the corner of the room.
‘Would you like to hold your son?’ asked Sam, smiling proudly.
He handed me the bundled infant, and I was surprised at how heavy he felt. He hadn’t seemed that heavy inside me. I looked at him, and he returned my gaze, beautiful dark brown eyes making perfect contact as he smiled at me. I didn’t think babies were this alert for many weeks. Mind you, this was no ordinary baby.
‘He looks a bit like you, Sam, except for those dark eyes. What shall we call him? We never talked about a name.’
‘I was thinking Benjamin. That was my father’s name. If you don’t mind, that is.’
‘That’s a lovely name; Benjamin Samuel Todd—for his grandfather and his father.’
After holding my young son for a little while, I remembered Crystal and I turned to ask if she would like to hold him.
‘May I? Oh, yes, please. He will be small like this for such a short time.’
Crystal took young Benjamin in her arms, and immediately began to hum a beautiful melody as she rocked him back and forth. The look on her face was angelic, and her hands seemed to barely touch him, she held him so lightly.
As I pushed myself up in the bed, I clenched my teeth in anticipation of the pain that would follow. Only there wasn’t any. Sam saw the look on my face and quickly reached over, taking my hand and helping me into a sitting position.
‘Are you alright? Are you in pain?’
‘No, really I’m fine. I expected it to be painful, but I feel fine. Is that normal, Crystal?’
She was so busy cooing and cuddling young Benjamin that at first she didn’t answer.
‘Crystal?’
‘Oh, yes, sorry Lili. You should be fine now. You slept for nearly twenty-four hours and should be nearly completely back to normal now. Although I would suggest you refrain from anything too strenuous for a few more days.’
‘Twenty-four hours? I slept that long?’
‘Yes, Mladen gave you some mild sedatives as well as something to stop your milk production more quickly. Together they tend to make you sleep quite well. But I also think you must have needed the rest, so we didn’t disturb you. Perhaps you were worn out from all the heat on your travels.’
‘Yeah, I suppose I wasn’t sleeping all that well on our trip.’
I watched her with my son, and noticed how very much aware of her he seemed to be.
‘Benjamin is so developed … it’s as though he’s weeks old, not just a day,’ I said, then quickly did the math in my head remembering that he was growing at roughly six times the speed of a normal baby. Then I remembered what Crystal had said, about them growing even faster the first few weeks. At this rate, he wouldn’t be a baby long, and I’d already missed a full day of him.
Crystal smiled at me. ‘Yes, he’s growing very well. He’ll still be a baby a bit longer but by the time you leave, he’ll be as advanced as a normal three-month old. Would you like him back now?’
By the way she held him close, I could tell that she really didn’t want to give him back to me, but I wanted to cherish this short time I had with my infant son. I was relieved when she finally held him out to me and I hugged him close.
As I stared down at his tiny little face, I suddenly saw another young face—a dark haired girl with a white shirt. In my mind she looked as she did when I first spotted her—young, and alone, and looking for help. And I couldn’t help but wonder what could possibly have made that man, Richard Shaw, turn on his beautiful young family like that.
I shook off the thoughts, determined to focus on my own young child for as long as I could.
~~***~~
The days flew past as Sam and I took turns holding and feeding young Benjamin. He was given a special formula made from goat’s milk that Mladen brought to us in old fashioned glass baby bottles. He wore cotton diapers (or nappies as they preferred to call them) and a lightweight cotton gown. At night, he was wrapped in beautiful soft woollen blankets. Mladen didn’t believe in using anything synthetic or artificial around the babies—he wanted them to grow fast and not have their bodies struggling with any chemicals.
And grow he did. Every day he got heavier and heavier, and more alert. Then, before I knew it, we were packing to go back to Melbourne. I struggled with the knowledge that I’d never see Benjamin as a baby again. The next time I saw him, he might very well be a young man. I wondered if Sam was sad too, but he didn’t say anything, and he didn’t show it. Stiff upper lip and all that perhaps—from his proper British upbringing. Either that or maybe men just don’t get as emotional about babies as women do.
When we walked downstairs on that final morning, ready to leave, we found Crystal and Mladen in one of the lounge rooms. Crystal sat holding Benjamin, looking as upset about leaving as I felt.
When I sat next to her, she handed him to me and I cuddled my young son one last time before handing him over to Mladen. My baby was two weeks old today.
~ Chapter Ten ~
We’d missed Christmas. With all the wedding and honeymoon planning I’d never given it a thought before we left, and by the time we arrived back in Melbourne, Christmas was history and the stores were all having Boxing Day sales.
Claire was home for the holidays, and would stay until the fourth of January. We were to catch up tomorrow evening, along with Tom, Michael and Crystal. We’d have a belated Christmas celebration and then spend New Year’s Eve together as well.
A mild panic attack struck me as I realised I hadn’t gotten gifts for anyone—not even Sam. So
the next morning I rushed out to a big shopping centre in Elizabeth Street and bought wrapping paper, ribbons and cards. I decided that even if we were going to have a belated Christmas, we could still do it right so I bought a small artificial tree complete with lights and decorations, and some little ornaments to hang in the living room. At least finding everything at fifty per cent off was some consolation, given that my cash was running very low.
As I returned to the house with my arms full of bags, I bumped into Sam. He laughed at my flushed face, and asked how my shopping was going. I admitted that I’d spent most of my cash on the tree and decorations, and wasn’t sure what I’d come up with for gifts. He grinned, and went upstairs for a moment, and then came back and handed me a fist full of cash. I started to refuse it, but couldn’t resist the idea of getting nice presents for everyone. He smiled, and sent me back out to finish my shopping. All cashed up, I headed to the market.
I found a beautifully illustrated book on tarot cards that I thought Debs would like, and for Ian, a box of exquisite handmade writing paper as he was one of the few people I knew who actually still sent hand written letters. Even though Debs and Ian couldn’t join us for our little party, I would drop around to see them and give them their gifts.
For Claire I found a pale blue sweater that I thought would complement her eyes. And when I stumbled upon a store that sold every imaginable type of coffee bean, I decided Michael and Crystal would get a selection of beans and a stainless steel coffee grinder. They both loved fresh coffee, and this was an accessory that I hadn’t noticed in their kitchen.
Tom was easy. I found a bomber jacket with a Hawks footy club emblem on it. He could wear it next year at the football games.
Sam was the hardest to buy for. This was our first Christmas, and I wanted to get him something special—something he’d cherish. When I found a stall that sold watches, I stopped to have a look. Sam didn’t wear a watch on his wrist, but perhaps if it were in his pocket he’d carry it. After a few minutes I found an old fashioned looking pocket watch. It was Swiss made, and carried a lifetime guarantee. I did wonder if that included vampire lifetimes, but I didn’t dare ask that of the girl at the counter. I did, however, take it to one of those kiosks that do engraving, and begged the man to engrave it while I waited. He was busy, but when I offered him an extra twenty-five dollars, he kindly accommodated.
Then I remembered Elizabeth and Henry. What do you get for ghosts who can’t actually pick things up? In the end I bought them a Christmas tree, not unlike the one I’d bought for us, but smaller and battery operated. I’d ask Sam to take it down into the tunnel, and set it up near Henry’s stash, so that he and Elizabeth could sit and look at it. I also found a beautiful music box, one of those wind up ones with the little ballerina that twirls when you open the lid. Sam would be able to wind it up every time he’d visit. And for Henry, I found a tiny little grandfather clock. I thought it could sit beside the music box.
I raced home, put the little tree and decorations up, wrapped the gifts and put them under the tree. When Sam came in at about seven-thirty, everything was done.
‘You’re a clever girl. You did all this by yourself? You must have gone to every stall at the market,’ Sam said, as he gazed around at what used to be his very tidy lounge room.
‘Is it too much? I hope you don’t mind.’ A nervous laugh escaped as I walked over to give him a welcome-home hug and kiss. This was all very new to me, this business of having a husband, and I still felt awkward at times.
‘Mind? Of course I don’t mind. I haven’t had a Christmas like this for a very long time—not since I left England in actual fact. You’ve done well.’
I blushed at his compliment, then buried my head in his chest; still not entirely certain he was happy with what I’d done. But when he lifted my face and kissed me, I knew he didn’t mind.
~~***~~
Our belated Christmas was more of a success than I’d dared to hope. Claire loved her sweater, and Crystal and Michael seemed genuinely impressed with the coffee grinder. Tom put his jacket on and modelled it for us and Claire made all the right appreciative noises, which made Tom smile.
Claire and Tom had bought me a very expensive bottle of perfume, and Michael and Crystal had bought me some lovely towels and scented soaps and lotions, knowing that Sam wouldn’t have any girlie stuff like that in the house.
I couldn’t read the look on Sam’s face when he opened his gift. For a moment I thought he didn’t like it. He lifted it out of the box slowly, and then read the inscription without saying a word. When he looked up the love in his eyes said it all.
‘So, what’s it say inside, big boy?’ laughed Tom, poking him in the side.
Sam read the inscription quietly, ‘To my dearest Sam, who I will love throughout eternity, Lili’
‘Ah, that’s so nice,’ said Claire, glaring at Tom as she pulled him back toward her.
‘Eternity, eh? That’s a very long time, Lili. Sure you don’t want to reconsider that one?’ Tom jested.
‘No, of course I don’t. Our love is eternal,’ I said, giving Tom a look that I hoped even he would take as a sign to shut up.
‘You’re soooo not romantic, Tom. If you don’t watch it, I might just have to punish you,’ laughed Claire.
‘Well, that’s an incentive to keep it up if ever I heard one,’ whispered Tom, loud enough for us all to hear.
‘Enough of that,’ said Sam, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a very small box, and handing it to me. ‘I got you something too. I had hoped to give this to you for your birthday but they couldn’t finish them in time. So, think of it as a combined birthday and Christmas present.’
I opened the small box, and in it were two beautiful heart shaped sapphires. The stones were the exact colour and shape of the stone in my wedding ring, only they were a bit smaller to make for dainty ear studs.
‘Oh, Sam,’ was all I could say as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
‘I take it you like them?’
‘I love them. I’ll put them on now,’ I said, heading into the bathroom so I could see what I was doing. When I came back out, they were all standing near the door, getting ready to leave, but both Crystal and Claire admired the earrings, telling me they looked stunning on me.
I turned to Michael and asked, ‘Michael, I was wondering, can I have my old job back? Are you still doing the lunch shows?’
‘Sure, of course. We’ve cut them down to just Thursdays now, but I could always use help for those. And if you’re interested, you can work some evenings, now that you live just across the road. You can fill in for the girls when they take time off, if that’s okay with you. Sam, what do you think of that? We could use the help, and your beautiful wife here makes one hell of a witch!’
‘It’s fine with me, if that’s what you want to do,’ he said, but I could see the question in his eyes.
‘Well, I need to do something, for the time being anyway, until I decide what I want to do, you know, for the longer term.’
Claire looked at me, and sighed. ‘So, I guess that means you’re not coming back to California to finish school. Hmmm … not that I really thought you would.’
I turned to Claire and put on a sad face, followed with a smile. ‘Sorry, but we are planning to visit Mom shortly, so we’ll catch up with you then.’
She smiled at that, and reminded me that her apartment had two bedrooms, and that Sam and I should plan on staying at least a week with her—after all, Sam had never been to the states, and more importantly, he’d never been to Disneyland.
~~***~~
It was to be our first New Year’s Eve together, and it would be my first New Year’s Eve celebration since I was eleven—the year Dad died. I was doing my best to put on a happy face, even though I couldn’t stop thinking about Mom and Raye, and how we always had an early dinner together and then went to bed well before midnight came around.
But tonight we were going out with Tom and Claire to a nightcl
ub in the city; one of those where you pay up front and the drinks and snacks are included. Claire had booked it, and Tom was happy to do anything that Claire wanted to do. Sam wouldn’t let Tom go without him, so we were all going. I knew I was going to hate all the drinking, but couldn’t see any way around it.
Claire arrived at our place just before dark. She’d stay the night with us, and drive home in the morning.
Luckily the nightclub was just down the other end of King Street, so we were able to walk. I had no desire to be in a car on New Year’s Eve—not this year, and not ever.
The club was packed when we arrived. It was dark inside, but there was one of those mirror balls hanging over the dance floor sending flashes of colour round and round the room. I was glad it didn’t take long for my eyes to adjust, because at least then I had one sense working; I certainly couldn’t hear anything over the loud music that blasted us from every direction.
The amount of drinks being served was mind boggling. There was a crowd three deep at the bar, and when I had a look around I couldn’t see one person without a drink in their hand. I was glad when it occurred to me that even if they drank a bit, the alcohol would have no effect on Sam and Tom. They’d keep their heads tonight, even if none of the other men would.
‘Do you want a champers?’ yelled Claire directly into my ear. Even so, I could just make out what she’d said over the music.
‘No, just a mineral water for me, please’, I replied.
I watched as she squeezed up to the bar to order us drinks, smiling as she pushed in front of a few men. I’d never have gotten away with that, but she moved as if she had no doubt they’d let her through.
She was back in a few minutes, and giggled as she handed me the drink, then looked up at Tom under her lashes as she apologised for not getting him one. He pretended to be quite offended at first, making a big show of it. But in the end he just laughed at her.
When she finished her drink, Claire handed her empty glass to Tom, and then grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the dance floor. Sam smiled and took my glass, doing nothing to stop her. Resisting proved useless, so I followed reluctantly.
Sacrifice (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 2) Page 9