by Mia Villano
His mouth takes mine, then he begins to trail kisses down my neck. Sucking on my skin, pulling my hair, as the longing for him takes over anything else. Tears fill my eyes and fall down my cheeks. What will happen between us if I make love to him now?
He stops to look at me. “You left me and tore my heart out. I didn’t know what to do without you.”
“I protected you by leaving.”
His gaze is tight on my face. “Protected me from what?” He looks tense and thrilled at the same time.
Eight years may seem like a long time for some people, yet for me, it seems like yesterday. The intimate warmth of my tears running down my cheeks opens the old wounds. The last night we spent together at his house plays out like a movie.
A week late...that has never happened to me before. I bought a pregnancy test earlier today and had put it off until I knew Sebastian was sound asleep. I was sitting on the floor in his bathroom as he slept. Wearing his over-sized robe with my knees pulled up to my chest, I stared at the lines on the pregnancy test. It felt like the longest three minutes of my life passed by waiting for the results. I reluctantly checked the stick and in big letters it said, ‘PREGNANT.’
My body felt faint. How could this happen? We were always so careful, and I was on the pill to boot. This should have been a happy time and the impulse to run into the bedroom and wake him up to tell him “I’m pregnant!” came and went. I couldn’t tell him; this would ruin him. He wasn’t ready to be a father, and I certainly wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility of motherhood. Therefore, I did what I thought was best for both of us; I left. After weeks of pondering what I should do, I decided to go away and keep the baby.
No matter the outcome, a piece of Sebastian was inside me to keep forever. But, I didn’t want to tell him, knowing how he would have reacted. His dream of public office would be put on hold and he would want to marry me. I couldn’t let him do that because somewhere, later down the road, he would resent me for it. Leaving that day with my secret, I drove home and told my parents. They agreed to help me as much as possible. I tried to carry on the best I could, but little did I know my life was never going to be the same.
It’s been killing me to keep this from him, when he has every right to know what I went through. “I was pregnant with your baby, and I left so you wouldn’t be stuck in a scandal you didn’t need.”
His face turns white and he jolts, his lust-filled passion quickly turning to anger. Pushing away from, he looks deep into my eyes. I am watching him intently as he takes in the news.
“What are you saying? Where is the baby?” Turning my head, I look off in the distance. Jesus, this is so hard for me. I haven’t talked about this to anyone, except for my parents and my therapists.
“Daria, talk to me. Where’s the baby?” His voice is becoming louder. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, and they can’t be wiped away quick enough.
“I had a miscarriage.”
“Dear God, Daria. Why didn’t you tell me any of this? You didn’t think I deserved to know I was going to be a father?” He’s yelling now and I can’t blame him. I figured he’d be mad, but this was beyond how I thought he would handle the news.
I look up at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do anything to hurt you, or your future. I had my parents, and I've been getting through it somehow. I was going to tell you once everything was settled, once the baby was born.”
He slams his fist down on the counter, causing me to jump. The bowls I have stacked in a neat tower make a clanging noise. I watch him pick up his glass, sips the last of it, then he throws the empty glass against the refrigerator, shattering it into pieces. The sound echoes in my condo as I stand frozen, watching the droplets trail down the stainless steel. I swallow hard and stare at him again with exhausted eyes, not saying a word.
His voice swells with anger. “You were pregnant with my child and you didn’t think I needed to know. Who does that?”
“I don’t know? I thought I was doing what was best for you.” I reach for his arm and he jerks away.
“Don’t give me that shit, that you did it for me. You did it for yourself. You didn’t have the guts to tell me, so you ran.”
“Give me a break, Sebastian. You hid me away from the public. Not once did we act like a normal couple. How was I to know you would care I was pregnant? You were a powerful congressman; I was a college girl and your intern.” I begin to yell now. All my insecurities from dating him in the past surface.
“That was not all me, and you know it. You didn’t want to be known as the intern dating the congressman. You were so much more than a secret lover, Daria, and you know it. We both agreed to keep it secret.”
“No, you suggested we keep it secret, and I was too naïve to accept anything else. Every day, we were living a lie in public, and I didn’t know where this was going, if anywhere.” Sighing, I try to calm down before I say something I will regret.
“Nevertheless, this was a pretty big deal and obviously you didn’t think enough of me to tell me you were carrying my baby.”
“No, no, that’s not why. Listen to me. Please just listen to me.” I’m begging him now to understand, and I’m not getting through to him.
Again, I try to touch him and he jerks away, looking at me like I’ve never seen before. Was it hate, disgust, or anger?
“I can’t hear this right now. I don’t want to be here or look at you.”
Walking out of my kitchen, the glass crunches under his shoes. My eyes follow him making his way to the front door.
I’m shocked and my anger turns to desperation as I run after him.
“Sebastian, don’t go. Please don’t go. Let’s talk about this.” Not turning around, he reaches for the door knob. Opening it, I spot his security standing outside. Sebastian walks out and slams my door shut behind him.
I’m alone. My heart is broken all over again. Slumping to the foyer floor, I’m feeling the same pain I felt when I left him. My body lifeless and exhausted, and I don’t have the courage or strength to stand. There’s no more fight left in me. My sobs are blatant as I lay there in desperation. The tears and sorrow encompass me for what seems like an eternity. How could he blame me for this? The fact we could never be seen in public was why I never told him. I figured every aspect of our relationship was a secret.
Suddenly, the door opens and I look up through tear-filled eyes. It’s Sebastian, standing in the doorway. He reaches down and lifts my lifeless body, pulling me up off the floor. I’m lax, almost boneless, as he hauls me upright.
“What are you doing? Leave me alone!” I scream.
“I’m not done telling you how I feel.” His hands are squeezing my arms and I try to free myself from his grip.
“I don’t want to hear it. You don’t think I was hurt and confused about what was happening. You’re being a selfish bastard.”
“Shut your mouth and listen to me!” His face is red, and he yells through gritted teeth.
Wiggling out of his grasp, I slap him across the face, shocking myself.
“Don’t talk to me like that. No one talks to me like that.” The look on his face is one of utter shock. Staring him down, he seizes my arms and pulls me to him as his mouth crushes against mine. I push on his chest, trying to free myself from his grasp once again. He’s not letting me go and deep inside, I don’t want him to.
“No!” he yells.
“Let me go!” Pulling away, I gasp as he reaches for me and rips my shirt open. The buttons fly and before I can shake off the shock, he grasps my jeans and rips the zipper. Electricity is snapping around us. Raw emotions are spilling out of both of us. Anger and desire pump through our veins.
“Take your clothes off,” he demands.
“No, I won’t!” I shout back, trying to pull my torn blouse together. He stops me.
“Listen to me. I’m not asking.” Peering in his eyes they seem dark, demanding, settling the anger inside me.
We stand in front of each other, waiting to see who makes
the next move. I refuse to be the one.
Sebastian pulls my blouse off, and it falls to the floor. I don’t budge. He grabs the front of my lace bra and rips it in half. Reaching for my ruined jeans, he tugs them down, along with my thong, not taking his eyes off me. Before I know it, he has me pushed up against the wall, gripping my wrists to my sides. I bite my lip in anticipation. He buries his face in my neck, and I relax more, letting my head rest against the wall. He kneels in front of me, roughly licking my aching sex. Letting go of my wrists, his hands dig into my ass as he pulls me closer to his mouth. His tongue parting my lips and stroking my clit, I feel the orgasm build up. The feel of our fevered skin touching is what I’ve needed for so long. He stops, looks up at me, and slides his finger inside me as he watches my expression.
The wine consumed earlier still has me slightly buzzed; the anger of revealing to him I lost our baby, and the intense, erotic state of arousal he put me in, has my body begging for more.
“Sebastian, stop.” He’s oblivious to my halfhearted request. His tongue replaces his finger to circle my clit as his fingers pull my ass apart.
“Come.” He hollows his mouth and sucks my clit. Crying out his name, the climax rips through me.
He’s groaning and sucking as the orgasm tears through my body. My legs feel like they will give out and then all at once Sebastian stands, picks me up, and carries me to my bedroom. He lays me on my unmade bed. Raking his eyes over my entire body, he says nothing as he takes off his tie and starts to unbutton his shirt. I reach out to help him, but he doesn’t move closer so I can touch him. He continues to stare at me and strip off his clothes.
“Spread your legs.” Without hesitation, I do as he requests.
“You kept something that was part of me a secret. You lied to me.” His finger draws a line from my chest to just about my sex. I arch my back in need of more.
“No. I didn’t lie. I ran. I was confused and didn’t know what to do.”
“You don’t run from your problems. Don’t do that to me ever again. Don’t run from me again.” Before I can get a good look at his perfect, well-chiseled body, he’s on top of me. The red mark of my hand is still prevalent on his beautiful face. His scent, the smoothness of his skin, and the sound of his breathing is everything I have ever wanted. Sebastian is kissing me as if he will die without me. My struggle to stop him diminishes completely.
I run my hands through his hair as his mouth forcefully pleases me down my fevered body.
Parting my legs more with his head, Sebastian buries his face in me with an intrusive need. Pulling his head up and looking at him, I can see his face is covered in my wetness. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Daria, I’ve wanted to taste you since the night of my first fundraiser two years ago. I’m not stopping now.” Knowing it’s worthless pleading with him, he bows his head and allows his tongue to push inside. He kisses, sucks, and licks me until my hips lift off the bed, my feet dig into the mattress, and my back arches to his promise. His tongue mercilessly licks me repeatedly, causing me to grind against his face. Just when I’m about to come, he sucks my clit in a rhythm that keeps time with my beating heart.
“I’m going to come.” My body tenses as the climax rips through me once again. My arms and legs shake, holding onto his slick sweat-covered skin, allowing the pleasure flow through me. Sebastian won’t stop as he continues to devour me and presses his thumb into my most private part.
“Oh God,” I weep.
With my body writhing around in ecstasy, I grab onto Sebastian. He stops and, since my eyes are closed, I only feel the mattress move. Positioning himself again between my legs, his cock feels warm and hard pushed up against my thigh. I open my eyes to get a better look at him. His face, beautiful with a five o’clock shadow, his lips reddened and swollen, his eyes, dark and lust-filled, have me forgetting about my anger.
He moves on top of me, hovering over me teasingly, letting his cock rub against my sex, making me wetter. Holding my arms down against the mattress, he thrusts inside my pussy. The moans coming from deep inside are loud and emotion-filled. I clench my throbbing pussy around him, as his hands let go of my wrists and grab my breasts. The muscles in his body strain as he throws his head back and groans.
“You feel so good.” I’m dripping wet, wanting more, as the swell of warmth surrounds us. Love, urgency, resentment, and pain are all released at once.
“You’re so hard and deep inside me. Oh God, it feels so… Sebastian.”
“Feel my cock inside you.” Bending down to kiss me, our mouths hungrily ravage each other as he roughly fucks me. Abrasive and relentless, he slams into me. With each stroke, he thrusts deeper and harder. Resting his forehead against mine, he continues to pound me, as if to punish me and yet worship me at the same time.
“Come with me, Daria. I’m so close.” His voice is raspy and strained as it always is when he’s about to orgasm. The pain and pleasure pours through me as we both climax in an erotic rhythm, allowing the intensity of being together, and the secret I shared only heighten the orgasm. My body shudders as he pumps me to my core.
Falling lifeless onto my body, my skin tingles and my legs are numb.
We lay in silence, listening to the clock ticking by my bed while our racing heartbeats settle down. Sebastian’s hands run up and down my back as my head rests on his broad chest.
“I’m sorry, Sebastian, for what I did.”
“Stop saying that. I’m sorry for making you believe I wouldn’t want you or our baby. I’m sorry for hiding you away like you were a secret. You were anything but that. I need you to forgive me too.”
“There’s nothing to forgive. It’s the past and now we have the future.”
“I’m not going anywhere ever again.”
“And I will never run away from you again. I love you, Sebastian.”
“I love you and all of this is going to work out.” He pauses and my body sinks into him. My hand finds what I want more of between his legs. I gaze up at him and we both smile.
“Again?”
I nod, “And again and again.”
We both fall asleep for a little while, our bodies pressed to each other. I wake, hearing him breathing heavy and the street light casting a glow against his body. Sebastian is sleeping on his side, as he always has, naked and relaxed. Will he wake up and change his mind? Will he be angry at me again after he’s thought about it? My fear is blocked by my arousal to have him one more time before he leaves.
Since he’s already naked, I have free rein to do whatever I like to him. Sliding down the bed, I lift the covers to give myself access to his perfect cock. I didn’t get much of a chance to look at it much earlier and now, in the darkness, I can still make out its girth and perfection. My mouth takes it all in, flaccid and limp. My fingertips lightly brush his balls. He stirs and I feel him becoming erect in my mouth.
He's waking up and turns to lay on his back. I adjust my angle and continue to take him in my mouth. My lips slowly running over his smooth crown, he stirs. “Daria, what are you doing, baby?” Not answering, my tongue continues its erotic dance, pleasing him the way I remember he likes. I cup his balls with my one hand and take his cock all the way down to the base with my mouth, sucking ever so gently. I hear him groan realizing blowing him is like riding a bike. You never forget.
“Suck it.” Turned on by his dominance, I suck harder on the way down and let my tongue dance across his length on the way back up. His precum tells me he’s enjoying what I’m doing. His hands pull and tug at my hair, turning me on by his pleasure. “Jesus, Daria. Don’t stop, baby.” How could I? My mouth begins to hurt, but the pain only propels me to keep going. His cock’s swelling and the veins are prominent down the length. I flatten my tongue and lap him up from top to bottom. Once I make my way down, I take each one of his balls and suck on them. He loves this and the more I play with his balls, the hotter he becomes.
He begins to thrust his hips as I continue to suck his cock
again. The thought of me satisfying such a powerful man about to rule a country spurs my need to have him come in my mouth. His cock is throbbing as he thrusts against the back of my throat. It hurts, but I still take it milking him up and down. His body quivers as I continue, and he’s groaning, out of breath, and clawing in my hair. As his hips lift off the bed, he comes hard, filling my mouth. I struggle to swallow all of him as he continues to spew and I lap up every drop of him. Once he’s done, he’s still semi-hard. As much as I want to straddle him, I look at the clock and notice he should go.
“Ride me,” he whispers.
“No time for that, Sebastian. You should go. You have a plane to catch.”
I start to get off the bed and he grabs me by the waist, pulling me to him.
“Daria, we have so much more to talk about, so much more sex to have. Come with me.” He kisses me on the ear.
“I have a job, remember? We’ll have time to talk. You have an election to win.”
“I can’t do it without you.”
“Yes, you can and you will. You aren’t without me. I am right here every second of the day.” I point to his heart and smile up at him.
“Let me get you off before I go.”
“No, I’m fine. I love knowing that I just blew the soon to be president of the United States. That’s enough for me.” He laughs and I attempt to get up out of bed again. This time he lets me.
“Besides, I want you to have this thought in your head about what I just did to you.”
“I don’t need the thoughts, I need you.” He stands and walks over to me.
“Stop. I wanted to do this. Let me bask in this wonderful feeling that I made you come. You need to go, Sebastian. Do you see what time it is?”
“Okay, okay. Just use me and kick me out.”
I laugh at him. “Damn right, Mr. President.”
His phone rings. It’s his campaign manager. The plane is ready to take him to another city, another state, and away from me.
22
Sebastian