by M Never
“Shhh . . .”
I WAKE UP ALONE AND to the smell of breakfast. My stomach growls. Someone is hungry.
I slide out of bed, grab a cotton sundress from my closet to slip on, brush my teeth, and use the bathroom. Once downstairs, I find Kayne working away in front of the stove. Whatever he’s making smells delicious. I walk quietly up behind him, not to scare him, but because I’m not sure what frame of mind he’s in. Yesterday, he confronted his darkest demons; who knows how that’s affecting him today.
“Hey,” I say softly as I stand next to him.
“Morning.” He kisses me on the head while he continues beating—“Eggs? You’re making eggs?” Now that I’m close, I see a host of different ingredients spread out on the counter—pancake batter, butter, milk, chopped green peppers, and shredded cheddar cheese. I also notice his caseworker’s file laying open off to the side. I have no doubt that he’s been reading it. If I know him, dissecting it would be a better word. “You hate eggs. They remind you—”
“Not today,” he cuts me off. “Today, I love eggs. Today is a new day.” He scoops up the chopped peppers with his hands and drops them into the bowl then pours the half cup of shredded cheddar in afterward.
I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. “Today, I love eggs. Today is a new day.” What? For the past five years, just looking at a carton of eggs made Kayne shudder because it reminded him of Kim, the foster mother who tried to seduce him when he was seventeen. Making eggs was apparently their “thing.”
“How long have you been up?” I glance at the clock. It’s only seven forty-five in the morning.
“A while. I couldn’t sleep, so I worked out. We need a new punching bag, by the way. Then I went for a run with Jett around six. I showered, and now here I am.” He dumps the eggs into the heated frying pan and they sizzle.
“And how are you doing?” I ask delicately.
He pulls in a deep breath and then exhales, pushing the eggs around with a wooden spoon. “I think I’m okay.”
“You’re okay? Some serious information was dropped in your lap yesterday and you’re okay?”
I don’t mean to sound skeptical, but this is my husband we’re talking about. Usually, he reacts quite passionately when railroaded with information.
“Ellie,” he huffs, putting down the spoon and turning to face me. “I have spent damn near my entire life obsessing. Wondering what, why, how. I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m finally going to take Jett’s advice and just put the past behind me. I have more important things to worry about now.” He puts his hand on my stomach. It’s such a sweet gesture, I almost tear up. Damn hormones.
“I have one memory of my mother, and it’s a happy one. She wanted me, and that’s what I’m going to remember.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Okay, I won’t lie. I’m flabbergasted. I didn’t expect this when I woke up. I thought I was going to be putting him back together one tiny piece at a time, but it seems Kayne had some revelations while I was sleeping.
“You’re the most important thing in my life. I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you lately.” He kisses the inside of my wrist.
“You didn’t disappoint me. You scared me.”
“I know.” He pulls me closer and drops his forehead to mine then kisses me again before stirring the eggs around. “And I’m sorry for being a condescending cocksucker.”
“It’s okay. You can’t help who you are,” I tease him.
Kayne smirks. “Brat.”
“And proud of it.” I grab a little piece of green pepper and pop it into my mouth.
“Clearly.” He snakes his arm around my waist and secures me against him. “You’re the only one who can tame me, Ellie.”
“I’m not interested in taming you.” I run the tip of my nose up his neck. “I like you just the way you are.”
Kayne tightens his hold, his eyes flashing with excitement. I quiver.
“Are you hungry?” he purrs.
“Starved.” My mouth waters for more than just eggs.
“I bet.”
My stomach interrupts us, growling loudly, and we both laugh. “Someone is impatient.”
“You missed dinner last night. Can’t blame him.”
“He eats just like you.”
“If that’s the case, let’s go feed our boy.” Kayne sucks and licks my lips before he lets me go.
I grab some plates and silverware, while Kayne finishes cooking the eggs and pulls out a stack of pancakes warming in the oven. Once everything is set up on the patio outside, we sit down to eat. Well, Kayne sits. I kneel between his legs, but not as a submissive, instead just a woman who is madly in love with her man.
“My mother’s name was Sarah,” Kayne proceeds to tell me as I take pieces of pancake from his fingers. “Sarah Rivers. She had me when she was fourteen. There was no mention of my father on my birth certificate.” I chew slowly, listening attentively. “She was hooked on drugs and in no condition to raise a child, so the state took me away from her when I was thirteen months old. She eventually got clean and pulled her life together. She was twenty-one when she died.” I run my hands over his thighs as he speaks. “She wanted me.”
“Of course she did.” My composure nearly shatters. “She was your mother. Of course she wanted you.” I take his face in my hands and kiss him. A deep, emotive kiss that screams I want him, too.
“When we have another baby—”
“Another one? We haven’t even had this one.” I laugh.
“Well, when, if, we have another baby, and it’s a girl, I want to name her Sarah.”
“That’s fine. Done deal,” I agree immediately.
“Good.” It’s almost like he sighs with relief. Did he think I would say no to such a heartfelt request like that? He then attacks my mouth, smothering it with passion-fueled kisses.
“Aren’t you hungry?” I ask when we break for air.
“Starved. But I want dessert first.”
It doesn’t take long before our hands are roaming all over each other and breakfast is a distant memory. I guess I wasn’t the only one starving in more than one way.
“Touch me, Ellie.” My name vibrates low and deep in his throat as I pull on the waistband of his basketball shorts and jerk his rock-hard cock with both hands. He kisses me more aggressively, his fingers tangled securely in my hair. After a few pulsating seconds, Kayne lifts me to my feet and pushes me back so I am leaning against the edge of the table. Forcefully, he spreads my thighs then buries his head between my legs. I hold on to the table for dear life as he licks through my folds incessantly, my knees nearly giving way.
“Ohhhh . . .” I moan insufferably as the sweet ache of pleasure spreads through my whole body. “Yes,” I pant rapidly as my climax electrifies.
“Oh no,” Kayne removes his mouth from my ravished pussy. “Not this time.” He pulls down his shorts just low enough so his cock pops free. “This time, you’re coming all over me.” He hauls me up into his arms and impales me onto his straining length. My muscles immediately tighten, shocking my arousal.
“Oh, shit,” I mutter helplessly as Kayne hooks his arms under my thighs.
“Already, baby?” He impales me onto his thick rigid cock over and over, like he’s doing bicep curls with my body. Drawing me all the way up then dropping me all the way back down.
“I can’t help it,” I wince as he slices through me, my muscles painfully contracting and my clit tingling. “It’s the hormones, all you have to do is look at me and I pop. Oh, god!” I practically screech when I come, my control crumbling to pieces.
Kayne growls against my neck as he fucks out every last drop of my orgasm, demanding my demise like he always does. I barely have the strength to hold onto his neck as he walks us inside and lays me down on the dining room table.
“This is exactly how I want you.” He thrusts deeply into my depleted body, pushing up my dress. “Destroyed, shattered, ruined, demolished.”
I moan incapacitated, exactly all those things and more. He ravages me repeatedly, plundering my pussy with no apologies, taking exactly what belongs to him. My pleasure.
“I love you like this, Ellie.” He places both hands on my stomach and slows his pace. “I love that a piece of me is inside you.” He caresses my little bump.
“I love it, too,” I respond in a state of ecstasy.
“Come with me, kitten?” Kayne rubs my clit and I arch my back.
“Yes, please. Please make me come.” He knows just how to touch me; he knows all my secret spots.
“Hurry.” He rubs harder, circling his hips, punching his swelling cock into my dripping wet channel.
“Don’t stop.” I exhale sharply as another orgasm forms like a cyclone. “Kayne! Kayne!” All I can do is cry his name as he calls forth my arousal, my addiction. The sensations that bind me to him.
“Kitten.” He slams into me once, twice, three severe times, right before we fuse as one.
“Fuck, Ellie.” Kayne stills as I shudder around him, stretched and filled to the point of breaking.
Lost in our own little post-coital world, my husband worships me with his mouth like he loves to do, covering my entire body with lingering kisses. My favorite—the one he plants right in the center of my stomach.
“That’s how it’s done,” I hear him whisper.
“Kayne!” I scold him, teasingly.
“What?” Gotta teach him early.” He laughs.
I am only capable of responding with an eye roll.
Men.
“THIS KID NEEDS TO COME out, now!” I complain miserably, sprawled out on the bed. The baby is a week late and showing no signs of wanting to grace the world with his presence.
“He’s comfortable in there. He knows how good it is.” Kayne makes an off-color joke.
I smack him with a pillow. “Well, Mommy is ready to have her body back.” I’m hot, swollen, and convinced my bladder has disappeared with how much I pee.
“We can go for another walk?” Kayne suggests.
“No. If I walk around the block one more time, I may scream.”
“Have sex?”
“Definitely not.”
“Thai for dinner? Maybe some spicy food will light a fire under him.”
“No.”
“Just want to lay here and be miserable?”
“Yes,” I whine.
“Can I go work out while you’re parked on the bed?”
“Abandoning me when the going gets tough already?”
It’s Kayne’s turn to hit me with a pillow.
“I’d never abandon you.”
“I know. Sure, go ahead.” I sigh. “I’ll be here . . . fat, miserable, and immobile.”
“Miserable?”
“Miserable.”
“I promise I’ll bring you up some ice cream when I’m done.” He gets up off the bed.
“I won’t get too excited. Your workouts are like four hours long.”
“I’ll make this one fast.” He chuckles and leans down to kiss me.
“Oh!” I sit up suddenly and end up colliding with Kayne’s face.
“Ouch, Ellie you just head-butted me,” he rubs his nose.
“I’m sorry. I got a pain.” I stroke my huge stomach.
“Are you okay?” He sits back down on the bed then immediately shoots up. “Did you pee?”
“What? No! Oh shit! I think my water just broke!”
Kayne looks at me stunned. “He heard you.”
“Good! At least I know he listens.” I push myself up and swing my legs over the side of the mattress. This is gross. “We have to go.”
“Ya, think? Good thing I’m trained for emergency situations.” He helps me stand.
“You are not delivering this baby in the backseat of our car.”
“If we don’t get you to the hospital soon, I might.”
“Shit!” I nearly keel over as another contraction hits.
“Quick, we gotta change your clothes and get out of here.”
“I need to take a shower first.”
“What?”
“I’m all sticky. I need to shower.”
“Ellie, we don’t have time.”
“It will only take a second. I can’t show up at the hospital with amniotic fluid dripping down my thighs. Just please get me something to wear while I wash off.”
Kayne grumbles. “You better not be cursing me when I tell you to push in the backseat of the Jeep.”
“You’re not delivering this baby in the car! Now go!” I waddle into the bathroom and hop in the shower.
“I’ll remind you of that when you have your legs spread wide open and dangling over the roll bar!” he yells over the shower.
If he were close, I would punch him. This kid makes me very aggressive.
I clean up in record time and change into the shorts and T-shirt Kayne grabbed for me.
“Ready?” Kayne has both of our hospital bags slung over each shoulder.
“What about the bed?” I ask. “We should clean it up.”
“It’s going. I’ll order a new mattress and have it express delivered.”
I won’t argue with that.
As I walk down the stairs, another contraction hits. “Oh!” The pain shoots up and around my stomach and lands right in my lower back.
“Ellie? Are you okay?”’ Kayne holds me up by my arm. I swear I could just sit right here and never get up.
“I’m not sure.” I breathe heavily in and out.
“Come on, we have to go. Now.”
My contractions come on hard and fast, and by the time we get to the hospital, Kayne is clocking them at three minutes apart.
I can tell you, the maternity ward is no-nonsense and efficient. The minute we got here, I was put in a delivery room, hooked up to a fetal monitor, and examined thoroughly.
“Do I have time for an epidural?” I ask the nurse after she checks my cervix.
“Unfortunately, no. You’re at eight centimeters with contractions less than three minutes apart. This baby is coming soon.”
“Shit. Shit!” Another contraction begins, making me see stars. The pain is in my back and utterly excruciating.
“Fuck, this hurts.” I crush Kayne’s hand. “I don’t know if I can do this without drugs.”
“Ellie, you have to. You heard the nurse. He’s coming soon.” There are so many emotions in my husband’s voice.
“I can’t.”
“You can, just breathe. You’re strong enough.”
“You’re going to have to keep reminding me of that.”
“Till death do us part, you know that.”
I can only nod frantically as another contraction pummels me.
“They’re getting closer.” Kayne looks at his watch while he holds my hand. There is ungodly pressure between my legs, like I’m about to rip in two. I almost hate him for being so calm.
The nurse comes in to check on my progress again. “How’s Mom doing?”
“Dying,” I whine.
“Ellie,” Kayne snaps at me. “Not even funny when it’s a joke.”
“I’m not joking!” I scream as another wave of pain hits.
“Hopefully, it will be over soon.” She measures my cervix again. “Oh!” Her face perks up. “It looks like we need to page the doctor. You’re fully dilated.” She smiles, removing her latex gloves. “As soon as he gets here, you can start pushing. Hang on for a few more minutes.”
That seems like an unbearable amount of time.
The pain is constant now, just a steady stream of agony.
“Ellie.” My doctor walks into the room smiling brightly. I’m glad someone is in a good mood.
The OB practice I go to has several doctors, all of whom I met and could potentially deliver the baby depending who was on the floor. Luckily, my main doctor is at the hospital today.
“So, looks like we’re ready.” He pulls up a chair and sits right in front of my wide-open legs. I have been told c
hildbirth is beautiful and wondrous, but up until now, I’ve felt more like a lab rat, poked and prodded with my lady bits on display than an excited mother-to-be.
“Okay, Ellie. We’re going to push,” Dr. Hanini tells me. “On three.”
“Okay.”
“One. Two. Three.” I push with all my might, hoping the baby comes out on the first try.
“Good. Relax.” Dr. Hanini is in his late forties, has golden brown skin, and is native to Hawaii. I connected with him the minute he walked into the room. He just has this wonderful calm energy and the nicest bedside manner. Even Kayne likes him, which is saying a lot since he’s seen my vagina just as much as my husband has over the last nine months.
“Again, Ellie.” I push once more, squeezing Kayne’s hand for dear life.
“Come on, baby, you can do this.” Kayne is peering down over my legs to see what’s going on.
“Can you see anything yet?” I ask, drained already.
“Nothing, not yet,” he tells me.
“Gotta keep pushing,” the doctor encourages me.
And I do, for over two excruciating hours.
“WHY WON’T HE COME OUT!” I’m crying by this point, exhausted and ready to pass out.
“A little more, Ellie. You need to hold on a little more,” Dr. Hanini urges me to keep going.
“I can’t. I’m so tired,” I protest, nearly delirious.
“Ellie, come on. Strong enough, remember?” Kayne wipes some sweat away from my brow and feeds me some ice chips. “You’ve been through worse than this.”
“Okay,” I pant, determined to push this kid out.
With a deep breath, I summon the little bit of energy I have left and push again. It feels like something gives way and suddenly there is a little less pressure.
“Good, Ellie. His head is out!” Dr. Hanini exclaims, and then his expression turns grim. “Stop. Stop pushing.”
“What? I can’t stop!” Now that the baby has momentum it feels like I no longer have control. My body is on autopilot.
“Fetal heart rate is dropping.”
“What?” I look back and forth between Kayne and the doctor. Both their faces are expressionless, but Kayne’s eyes are wild.
“What’s happening? What’s going on?”