by Teasi Cannon
I pray that Your voice would drown out all the others in my head, that I would become more and more sensitive to Your Spirit so that I can love others better. Show me what matters most to You in my every day so that I can be a part of it.
All that I am is for You. There is nothing I want more than to be loved by You and give Your love away. I am ruined for the ordinary.
In the name of Jesus, my amazing Lord.
Amen
HOW ABOUT YOU? BEATING THE BEAST
How can you tell if a thought is a lie?__________________________
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If you catch yourself believing a lie in the future, what will you do? What is your plan of attack? _________________________________
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Why do we want to proclaim the truth aloud? ___________________
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List a couple of truths you want to commit to memory so that you have your ammunition ready at all times (for example, No weapon formed against me shall prosper): a. ______________________________________________________________
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b. ______________________________________________________________
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Have you been keeping your “delivery truck” parked in the garage too often? If so, do you think you can take steps toward taking it for a spin more often? _______________________________________________
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PEP TALK: IN IT TO WIN IT
This Christian journey is not for wimps. This is a life for warriors—for those who intend to go for the gusto. The good news is we've been given all the supplies we need to run this race to the finish. We will never find ourselves lacking.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to settle for anything less than God's best for me. I've done that before, and it's anticlimactic. I don't want to settle down just because I've secured my salvation from hell. No. I want to live an adventure for God—battling the enemy to the death for my King. I don't want to listen to Satan's junk. I don't want to give him the time of day. And not only that…I want to get back from him everything he's stolen from me in the past. I want my full inheritance. I know you want yours too. We've got to take the advice given by the unorthodox newsman in the movie Network: We've got to stand up to the devil and say, “I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore.”
FORWARD FOCUS: VICTORY
2 Samuel 23:10—He arose and attacked the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand stuck to the sword. The LORD brought about a great victory that day; and the people returned after him only to plunder.
1 Chronicles 29:11—Yours, O LORD, is the greatness, the power and the glory, the victory and the majesty; for all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O LORD, and You are exalted as head over all.
Psalm 98:1—Oh, sing to the LORD a new song! For He has done marvelous things; His right hand and His holy arm have gained Him the victory.
Matthew 12:20—A bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench, till He sends forth justice to victory.
1 Corinthians 15:54—So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”
1 Corinthians 15:55—O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?
1 Corinthians 15:57—But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 John 5:4—For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.
Revelation 15:2—And I saw something like a sea of glass mingled with fire, and those who have the victory over the beast, over his image and over his mark and over the number of his name, standing on the sea of glass, having harps of God.
CONCLUSION
God has such a great sense of humor, don't you think? His ways are often so contrary to our own, and I love that.
As I look back at my life, I see that the thing I wanted for so many years—the thing I thought would make my life worth living might have actually killed me. If I had been the skinny woman I was desperate to be, I would have had a beautiful body, but that's about all. I know myself, and I know that if I had always been satisfied with my looks, I would have found my full value in that. I would have happily strutted my stuff, enjoying the attention it brought me. But I wouldn't have known the goodness of God like I do today.
God wants us for Himself. He wants us to want Him above all else, and He wants to perform miracles in our lives. I love how Nancy DeMoss puts it. She says, “God specializes in the impossible, so that when the victory is won and the task is complete, we cannot take any credit.”18
I can almost hear the conversation that must have gone on in heaven when God was designing me. “This daughter of mine is going to love beauty, but I want her to love MY beauty, so I'm going to put a little extra padding on her to keep her from being vain. Vanity would kill her.”
I'm not sure if that's exactly how it happened, but I do know this: my padded body is one of the biggest blessings in my life. If I had not been so utterly desperate to get answers about my big rear, I don't know that I would have ever found out what I really needed. I don't know that I would have seen how very little of God's love I was really experiencing or how selfish my love for others had been. Chances are, I would have been a wounded skinny chick, pretty on the outside but broken on the inside.
Ironically, whatever it is that you despise most about yourself (it doesn't have to be weight) can become the catalyst for serious life change. Take that “thing” and drop it down at the feet of Jesus. Then ask Him to help you get to the bottom of it. But be willing to really get to the bottom of it. The answer you get might not be the one you've wanted or expected, but it will be the one you need.
I'm still “padded” today, but I love myself more than I ever have because I no longer let the devil define me. I let my doctors (not Vanity Fair or Cosmo) tell me if I'm physically healthy, and I let God alone assign my value. And truthfully, as long as I'm healthy, if I never lost a pound I'd be more than fine with that. In fact, if someone were to offer me a pill right now—one that would assure me a thin body for the rest of my life no matter what I ate, with only one stipulation: you must give up all the hope and healing you've gained on the inside—I would laugh and walk away. Being thinner is nothing compared to being free.
I believe it can happen for you too. Your pain can be turned into dancing as you stand under the waterfall of the Father's amazing love. And when it does, your testimony will be used as a powerful part of God's plan to overcome Satan. Look at this:
And they overcame him [the evil one] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. (Revelation 12:11)
Let's stand together as daughters of the King and tell our stories to all who will listen. Once we carried a load of pain and shame and despa
ir, but God knew exactly how to use that burden. He knew exactly how to bring beauty out of those ashes. He knew that in the end it would all be worth the weight.
FINAL PRAYER
Father God,
Thank YOU for my big bottom.
I love You. And I can't wait until I can tell You that face to face.
Amen
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES
There are many quality books and ministries that provide resources that deal with the issues I have touched on in this book. I highly recommend that you not stop here. If any of the topics resonated with you, continue to search it out. I can, however, highly recommend the following list of resources for further insight and encouragement in your journey toward God's best life for you.
To the best of my knowledge, I believe these resources are faithful to Scripture, and they have all been a blessing to me personally. However, inclusion in this list does not necessarily imply my complete endorsement of the authors, resources, or organizations represented. As Christians, it is our duty to personally examine everything in the light of God's Word.
Anderson, Neil. The Bondage Breaker. Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 2000.
Backus, William, and Marie Chapian. Telling Yourself the Truth. Bloomington, MN: Bethany House, 2000.
Cloud, Henry, and John Townsend. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1992.
DeMoss, Nancy. Becoming God's True Woman. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2008.
Eldredge, John, and Stasi Eldredge. Captivating. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2005.
Frost, Jack. Experiencing the Father's Embrace. Shippensburg, PA: Destiny Image, 2004.
Frost, Jack. Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship: Your Destiny Awaits You. Shippensburg, PA: Destiny Image, 2006.
Hession, Roy. The Calvary Road. London: Christian Literature Crusade, 1950.
Meyer, Joyce. Straight Talk: Overcoming Emotional Battles with the Power of God's Word. New York, New York: Time Warner Book Group, 2004.
Mullen, Grant. Emotionally Free: a Prescription for Healing Body, Soul and Spirit. Tonbridge, England: Sovereign World, 2003.
Murray, Andrew. Humility: the Journey Toward Holiness. Bloomington, MN: Bethany House, 2001.
Rhodes, Constance. Life Inside the “Thin” Cage: A Personal Look into the Hidden World of the Chronic Dieter. Colorado Springs, CO: WaterBrook Press, 2003.
Wilson, Sandra. Hurt People Hurt People. Grand Rapids: Discovery House Books, 2001.
Winter, Jack. The Homecoming: Unconditional Love: Finding Your Place in the Father's Heart. Seattle: YWAM Publishing, 1997.
APPENDIX A
ORPHAN VS. CHILD OF GOD
ORPHAN HEART HEART OF GOD'S CHILD
See God as Master IMAGE OF GOD See God as a loving Father
Independent/self-reliant DEPENDENCY Interdependent/acknowledges need
Live by the love of law THEOLOGY Live by the law of love
Insecure/lack peace SECURITY Rest and peace
Strive for the praise, approval, and acceptance of people NEED FOR APPROVAL Totally accepted in God's love and justified by grace
A need for personal achievement as I seek to impress God and others, or no motivation to serve at all MOTIVE FOR SERVICE Service that is motivated by a deep gratitude for being unconditionally loved and accepted by God
Duty and earning God's favor, or no motivation at all MOTIVE BEHIND CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINES Pleasure and delight
Must be holy to have God's favor, thus increasing a sense of shame and guilt MOTIVATION FOR PURITY Want to be holy; do not want anything to hinder intimate relationship with God
Self-rejection from comparing myself to others SELF-IMAGE Positive and affirmed because I know I have such value to God
Seek comfort in counterfeit affections: addictions, compulsions, escapism, busyness, hyper-religious activity SOURCE OF COMFORT Seek times of quietness and solitude to rest in the Father's presence and love
Competition, rivalry, and jealousy toward others' success and position PEER RELATIONSHIPS Humility and unity as I value others and am able to rejoice in their blessings and success
Accusation and exposure in order to make myself look good by making others look bad HANDLING OTHERS' FAULTS Love covers as I seek to restore others in a spirit of love and gentleness
Difficulty receiving admonition; I must be right, so I easily get my feelings hurt and close my spirit to discipline VIEW OF ADMONITION See the receiving of admonition as a blessing and need in my life so that my faults and weaknesses are exposed and put to death
Guarded and conditional; based upon others' performance as I seek to get my own needs met EXPRESSION OF LOVE Open, patient, and affectionate as I lay my life and agendas down in order to meet the needs of others
Conditional and distant SENSE OF GOD'S PRESENCE Close and intimate
Bondage CONDITION Liberty
Feel like a servant/slave POSITION Feel like a son/daughter
Spiritual ambition; the earnest desire for some spiritual achievement and distinction and the willingness to strive for it; a desire to be seen and counted among the mature VISION To daily experience the Father's unconditional love and acceptance and then be sent as a representative of His love to family and others
Fight for what I can get! FUTURE Relationship as a child releases my inheritance!
See authority as a source of pain; distrustful toward them and lacking a heart attitude of submission VIEW OF AUTHORITY Respectful, honoring; I see them as ministers of God for good in my life
(Chart adapted by permission from Shiloh Place Ministry training materials.)19
APPENDIX B
PERSONALITY TYPES THAT CAN DEVELOP WHEN WE'RE EMOTIONALLY WOUNDED
1) The “Show-off”
To get our emotional needs met, we draw as much attention to ourselves as possible. We become very talkative, trying to make ourselves look important by name-dropping, exaggerating our accomplishments in work, sports, ministry, or family. We can't help but steer nearly all conversations back to ourselves.
2) The “People Pleaser”
We find our identity in conforming to group ideals. We have very little, if any, identity of our own, so we conform to the perceived norm in order to belong. We fit into groups well because we are good at saying the right things to be accepted. At church we are the perfect Christian, but with our non-Christian friends, we fit right in too. We can be fairly critical of others, but cannot receive criticism from others.
3) The “Timid”
We are not to be confused with the meek (which is a character strength). We have a big fear of man, failure, and rejection. We lack the inner strength to make our own decisions. We usually deal with self-pity and a sense of no self-worth. Most people don't know, but deep inside of us there is often quite a bit of anger. We are usually very passive.
4) The “Isolationist”
Our inner pain has caused us to form walls of self-protection. We cut ourselves off from anyone we think is a threat to us and we usually bond to only one or two people. This can cause us to become very possessive of those we get close to and to feel threatened by anyone else entering into our relationships.
5) The “Fighter”
We become rebellious and defiant towards everyone and everything, especially the system we presently have to operate in. We are usually very independent because we don't want to have to depend on anyone who may hurt us again. Often, we become workaholics in order to prove our self-worth and to establish our identity.
6) The “Moralist”
We are God's policemen. We see the fault in everything and everyone and know how to fix it. We have an answer for everything under the sun. We are very opinionated, which reveals our lack of humility. We live by the letter of the law but are empty of love. We are usually right in our observations, but have the wrong attitude; that makes us wrong. However, to us, our rightness justifies our wrong attitude.
(Adapted by permission from Shiloh Place Minis
tries training materials.)
NOTES
1. Shaun Dreisbach “Shocking Body Image News,” Glamour, March 2011, http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2011/02/shocking-body-image-news-97-percent-of-women-will-be-cruel-to-their-bodies-today
2. “Body Image Statistics,” Find Your True Beauty, http://www.find.yourtruebeauty.com
3. U.S. Census Bureau News, “Unmarried and Single Americans Week Sept 19–25, 2010” news release, July 19, 2010, http://www.census.gov/news-room/releases/pdf/cb10ff-18_single.pdf
4. “Cosmetic Surgery,” About-face, http://about-face.org/r/facts/cosmeticsurgery.shtml#consumers
5. Ranlyn Oakes, “Diet Industry Facts,” LiveStrong.com, August 17, 2010, http://www.livestrong.com/article/207926-diet-industry-facts/
6. Sandra Wilson, Hurt People Hurt People (Grand Rapids: Discovery House, 2001), 21.
7. “Child Abuse in America,” http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics
8. Jack Frost, Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship, (Shippensburg, PA: Destiny Image, 2006), 37.
9. “The Leadership Survey on Pastors and Internet Pornography,” Leadership Journal, Winter 2001, http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2001/winter/12.89.html
10. Wilson, Hurt People, 35.
11. William Backus and Marie Chapman, Telling Yourself the Truth (Grand Rapids: Bethany House, 2000), 15.
12. Tim Clinton and Ron Hawkins, The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2009), 123.
13. Alex Harris and Carl Thoresen, “Forgiveness, Unforgiveness, Health and Disease,” ed. E. L. Worthington Jr. (New York:Brunner-Routledge, 2005), 324, in Handbook of Forgiveness, http://www.chce.research.va.gov/docs/pdfs/pi_publications/Harris/2005_Harris_Thorsen_HF.pdf