by S. J. Bishop
"Carter, I can’t."
"Why not?"
"Because," she stammered. "You have a girlfriend. And I... I have a boyfriend." Her liquid eyes began to run over. "And because I won’t be some sort of play toy that you think you can break out of the box whenever you get bored!"
She turned and ran for work, leaving me standing on the sidewalk, wondering where I’d gone wrong.
16
Ava
Piccadilly’s was buzzing with energy when I walked in. Our assistant manager, Steven, was running around like a crazy person. He stopped and pointed at me when he saw me.
"Why aren’t you in uniform?" he barked.
"I just got here."
"Well hurry up and change," he yelled, leaving me confused and a little annoyed.
"Don’t mind Steven," Myron said, coming up to me. I smiled, happy to see a familiar, friendly face. I’d been worried that he might try to kiss me again or ask me out, but he’d let all those things go and seemed content just to be friends.
"What’s with him anyway? He’s way more uptight than usual."
Myron leaned in and whispered, "Mr. Brewster’s gone."
I tilted my head, not sure I understood what he was saying. "Gone? What do you mean gone?"
Myron shrugged. "No one knows. They can’t find him. He didn’t show up this morning to open the restaurant, and he’s not answering his phone."
"Really?" I asked, walking to the back. That was very much unlike him. Come to think of it I’d never heard of him missing a day of work. Though I certainly didn’t mind his absence, especially after what had transpired between us the other day, I still hoped nothing terrible had happened to him. It seemed that enough terrible things had happened lately to last me for a lifetime.
I was lost in my thoughts when Myron put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asked anxiously. "You seem a little frazzled today. Is it Lily?"
I sighed, wanting to confide in someone and finding that, as usual, Myron happened to be the someone who was willing to lend me his ear. "It’s everything. It’s Lily. It’s..." But I paused, wondering if I should really tell him what was bothering me. As much as I continued to be disappointed and hurt by Carter, it didn’t feel quite right to talk about him with Myron. "I had a fight with someone."
"Carter Stone?" Myron asked, his face going gray.
"Yeah. He... we..." I sighed and sank onto a bench that lined the wall in the back room, apparently I needed to get this stuff out. "I don’t know. I keep thinking that maybe we could be friends, at least, but that doesn’t seem possible anymore. His girlfriend hates me, and I just don’t see things going anywhere."
"He has a girlfriend?" Myron asked.
I couldn’t help but note the delight that sounded in his voice and now really wondered if I’d made a mistake bringing Carter up to Myron. But it felt so good to talk to someone. Maybe I was just being selfish.
"Myron, we’re still good, right? You and I? Just friends?"
Myron nodded eagerly. "Oh yeah. Just friends. Good friends." He smiled back at me and I relaxed.
"Myron!" Steven yelled, coming into the back. "What the hell are you doing? Get out on the floor."
Myron gave me a quick smile and hurried off.
"And you," Steven yelled to Ava. "Move faster."
Terri was nearby, also getting ready for her shift. She tucked her shirt in and came up to me. "So," she said tentatively, "you and Myron are friends now?"
I smiled. Terri wasn’t so bad. She was probably the only other person at Piccadilly’s besides Myron—maybe even in all of Dover Chase—who I was comfortable talking to. I’d often thought that we could be better friends if only they had the time to spare. For all of Terri’s talk about how hard I worked, Terri worked just as hard. She took regular double shifts and often showed up to work with bags under her eyes. Divorced with an ailing mother to take care of, Terri was possibly the only person I knew who could understand what I was going through.
"Yeah, I guess so. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to, you know?"
Terri hesitated.
"What is it?" I asked, the hair on the back of her neck standing up. Terri had a strange look on her face.
"It’s just that I heard Myron talking to himself earlier. About you."
My heart thumped hard, once, before settling back down.
"I’m not sure he just wants to be friends, Ava. Just be aware of yourself when you’re around him."
"What does that mean?" I asked Terri. It sounded like a warning.
"Just that I’ve known guys like Myron. The quiet types. They seem all sweet and innocent, then bang, tongue down your throat and hands on your boobs."
I laughed. I couldn’t see Myron ever doing something like that. Not without my permission, at least. He was so timid. "I’ll keep it in mind."
Terri nodded and went out onto the floor. I finished buttoning up my shirt and was about to head onto the floor when I knocked my purse off the bench. My mail splattered everywhere. I picked it up and saw that one of the envelopes was from Lily’s most recent stay at the hospital. She’d spent two nights there and had been hooked up to a billion different machines.
I opened the envelope, certain it was a bill, and praying that somehow it would be a small bill. My eyes bugged out of my head when I read it. Twelve thousand dollars! I forgot to breathe for a second while my mind processed this information.
"I have to tell Carter," I said to myself. "There’s no other way." I’d managed to scrape together two thousand dollars towards Lily’s surgery, but on top of this other bill and the ones that probably hadn’t even come in yet, I didn’t stand a chance. I was just kidding myself.
Tell Carter, my inner voice said. Today.
17
Carter
I was back at Conrad’s Bar. I knew I should stay away, especially given the trouble I’d been getting into here in Dover Chase, but several of my teammates had shown up this afternoon for Hannah’s wedding. It was only days away now and celebrities had begun to arrive.
I didn’t usually think of myself and my teammates as celebrities,but the way people kept buying us drinks all night certainly seemed to indicate others did. There were so many other celebrities milling around now that the press had finally lain off of me in favor of some bigger movie stars.
"So, Carter," Johnny Newman said, a drunken grin on his face. "I hear you can’t stay out of trouble even in this little town of yours."
I shrugged. "I can’t help it if a guy wants to pick a fight with me."
My team laughed. "Yeah right," Roger Hagel said. "You don’t do anything in these scenarios. Is that right? You just stand back and offer to shake someone’s hand, and the next thing you know they’ve got their fist in your face."
"And you’ve got your fist in theirs," Johnny chimed in. "I thought Coach was gonna pop a vein when he heard you got arrested again."
I laughed, but I didn’t really care for the way my team was jibing me. A few laughs here and there were alright, but they’d been at it for an hour already.
The door at the front of the bar chimed open and Johnny let out a long, low whistle. I turned my head and was surprised to see Ava standing there. She’d changed out of her work shirt and was wearing a simple black tank top with some jeans.
"I think I just found my warm and snuggly for the night," Johnny said. "You didn’t tell us you had girls as fine as her in this town."
My eyes began to twitch.
Ava scanned the room and when she noticed me, she walked to our table. "Hi Carter," she said. Johnny and the rest of the team looked on with interest.
"Hey." I would never have admitted it to anyone, but Ava’s earlier rebuff of my kiss had really hurt me. I wasn’t used to being rejected by women—ever.
"Um," she looked around at the group I was sitting with. "Do you think I could talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure." I tried to sound nonchalant, but my heart was pounding.
"Alone."
&n
bsp; My team laughed and whistled. A few of the guys made comments like "Go get her" and "Take her out back." I felt my face flush with embarrassment. I stepped away from the table and followed her to the bar.
"What’s up? I thought you didn’t want to see me again."
"I changed my mind," Ava said. My heart began to lighten. Johnny was right. She looked good. Real good. "Um, I don’t really want to talk here. Like this. Do you think you could come by my place for dinner tomorrow night?"
"Sure. Just the two of us?"
"No," Ava replied.
"Oh." What kind of game Ava was playing? Why was she inviting me to dinner if we weren’t going to be alone? She had said she had a boyfriend. Obviously, she just wanted to make him jealous. Well two could play at that game.
"So you’ll come?" she asked. "Around seven?"
"Yeah, okay. I’ll be there."
She smiled, relaxing. "Good. Thank you."
"Hey pretty lady," a man’s voice called out from behind me. I turned to see Johnny approaching us. "This nasty boy bugging you?"
Ava blushed. "No, thanks."
"How about you forget this punk and let me buy you a drink?"
"Get out of here," I said to Johnny. I couldn’t blame him for flirting with Ava, after all she looked stunning. But wasn’t it obvious that she was here to see me? "We’re talking."
"Alright, alright," Johnny said. "I’ll just go get you that drink, then you and I can go off somewhere and have a little fun."
"Johnny," now this was getting annoying. The guy wasn’t taking the hint. "I’m warning you, get out of here."
"What are you gonna do about it my man?" Johnny poked his finger in my face and I waved it away.
"I got as much right to talk to this pretty lady as you do," he said. "Maybe even more, since she doesn’t seem particularly interested in whatever it is you’re selling. What say you, pretty lady? Wanna take a walk with Johnny? I’ll show you things you ain’t never seen before. I guarantee it." He puckered his lips and blew Ava a kiss.
That’s when I decked him. Johnny, no stranger to punches himself, jumped right back up and flung himself at me. The two of us started rolling around on the floor and the rest of the team ran to break it up. As Roger pulled me up, I looked around for Ava. She was walking towards the door, but she turned before leaving and our eyes met. It might have been wishful thinking, but I could have sworn she flashed me a mischievous smile. I had managed to get even more bruises, despite the fact that I wasn’t playing ball, but I thought they might be worth it for the spark of desire that seemed to shoot off of Ava.
18
Ava
I busied myself in the kitchen while keeping one eye on Lily, who watched her cartoons and lay on the sofa. Lily had been so tired lately it was hard to get her to do anything else. Since the doctors told me that Lily shouldn’t exert herself too much, I had no real objections to letting her veg out for a while if that’s what she wanted.
The pasta was boiling; the sauce was simmering. I double-checked my hair in the mirror. I had pulled it back into a ponytail while preparing dinner; now I let it hang loose around my neck. I let myself imagine Carter running his fingers through it, then shook my hair, trying to push away the thought. My hair fell over my shoulders and seemed that much darker when it laid against the pale pink shirt I had chosen just for this effect, I matched it with a tight dark brown skirt that came up just above my knees. Not too revealing, but I thought it showed off my curves. It had been so long since I’d even attempted to look nice for a guy and I felt sort of stupid for caring so much.
There was a knock and I jumped. This was it. I was going to tell Carter tonight no matter what. Not with Lily in the room of course. I’d put Lily to bed after dinner, then serve Carter some coffee and dessert. I’d splurged on a Sarah Lee pound cake just for the occasion.
"Hi," I said, opening the door. But my face fell instantly when I saw Olivia. Her bleach blonde hair and fake nails hurt my eyes. "Oh.” Stay cool, don’t blow this. No matter what, remember? "I didn’t realize you were bringing a guest. I’ll just set another place at the table. Won’t you come in?"
I plastered a smile on my face as fake as Olivia’s boobs.
Carter grinned. What was with him? I guess I had been wrong in thinking he’d punched his teammate out of jealousy. It was probably just some protective big brother thing. He would have done the same if it had been Hannah. I was so mad that I’d allowed myself, once again, to hope for something more with Carter.
"Hi, Lily," he said. She waved one hand limply at him.
"Where is everyone?" Carter asked.
"What do you mean?" I froze. "Did you invite more people?" I looked into my pot of pasta. I’d never be able to feed another person.
"No, but I mean... I thought your boyfriend was joining us." Carter said, flustered.
"My boyfriend?" For a moment I forgot my earlier lie. "Oh, no. He works on Thursdays." I continued smiling my exaggerated smile, afraid that if I stopped now I might scream or cry.
"But you said people would be here. That it wouldn’t be just us."
My smile was frozen on my face and my breath caught in my chest. "I meant Lily." Is that why he’d brought Olivia? Because he thought Myron would be here too?
Carter’s face burned. But I didn’t care if he felt bad. He should. Of all the people for Carter to take with him, he had specifically chosen the one person he knew I wouldn’t want here.
"Salad?" I asked, pulling the bowl from the fridge and dropping it onto the table with a loud bang. Olivia giggled. She laid her head against Carter’s shoulder and kissed his neck. My stomach began doing somersaults.
"Lily, honey, come to the table okay? It’s dinner time." I looked at Carter and Olivia. "Grab a seat."
Lily got herself up from the couch and wobbled to the table, sitting in her child-sized seat. She put her head down and closed her eyes.
"Lily, baby, lift your head up, okay? Come on now, you’ve gotta eat something." I spooned some pasta and sauce onto Lily’s plate, but Lily kept her head where it was on the table.
"Some children just have no manners, do they?" Olivia said. She kissed Carter’s neck again, making loud sucking noises.
"She’s sick. She has an excuse. Unlike you, who has no excuse." I paused, feeling the rage bubbling inside of me and not being able to push it down even had I wanted to, which I didn’t. "Unless all that plastic surgery somehow killed your brain cells. I suppose being brain dead is as good an excuse for not having manners as anything else."
Carter laughed and Olivia shot daggers at him.
"So..." he ventured. "What exactly is wrong with Lily?"
"Do you want to explain it to them Lily?"
Lily lifted her tired eyes and looked at Carter. "Mommy says my heart is broken."
"That’s right, but remember what else I said?"
"They can fix it. Like a Band-Aid for my heart."
I kissed Lily’s sweet head. "That’s right."
"Can I go sleep now, Mommy?"
I hesitated. "You don’t want any food?" Lily shook her head.
"Alright, I suppose it’s okay."
"You’re sending your daughter to bed without any food?" Olivia sneered. "Isn’t that child abuse?"
"Shut up, Olivia," Carter said. Her eyes went wide but he ignored it. He turned to me. "Do you need help with anything?"
I hesitated. My heart had thrilled when Carter told Oliva to shut up, but he wasn’t exactly pushing her off him. She still clung to him, pouting her lips now and looking hurt. If only she wasn’t there, I would have the perfect chance to tell Carter everything. I was certain he’d help Lily.
Olivia made small mewing noises now and flung one leg over Carter’s lap, so that she was almost straddling him.
"Okay," this was enough. "Time for bed. You two can show yourselves out."
"What about dinner?" Carter asked, trying to look around Olivia’s head.
I looked at him like he was nuts. "Are you se
rious?"
"Yeah," Carter said. "Why? What’s wrong?"
"The fact that you even have to ask me that just proves what an incredible idiot you are," I shouted.
"Olivia’s just," he pushed her off his lap and back onto her own chair, "being Olivia."
"Great, then you can go be Olivia together." I paused, thinking that I wasn’t making sense anymore. I couldn’t stop the rage that was boiling over in me. Even worse, Lily was starting to cry.
"Just get out. Leave."
"You don’t have to ask me twice," Olivia said. "I don’t know what the hell he brought me here for anyways. You could fit this whole apartment inside my building’s garbage dumpster. In fact, it kind of looks like my building’s garbage dumpster."
"Olivia...," Carter said. "Ava..." But there was nothing he could say to me now. I scooped Lily into my arms and carried her to the bedroom. When I came back out a while later, they were gone. I flopped down on the couch, tears spilling over. Tonight had been disastrous. There was no way I could ask Carter for money now. It was too humiliating, begging some guy who was entangled—literally—with such a cruel and shallow woman. I couldn’t lower myself to ask him for any favors. Things couldn’t have gone worse.
I didn’t know what to do. I stared at my phone, my stomach churning. Finally I picked it up, hesitated, then dialed Mr. Brewster’s number. I hung up before he could answer. What was I doing? What was I thinking? Was I seriously contemplating taking Mr. Brewster up on his offer? My mind was riddled with thoughts both logical and illogical. Desperation was even worse than panic.
I took a deep breath and dialed Mr. Brewster’s number again. A woman answered.
"Hello?"
I gulped. "Um, hi. Is Mr. Brewster there?"