by S. J. Bishop
"Alright," I said. "Call your friend. I’ll get some air. Maybe you’re right. I’ve been cooped up in this hospital too long." I took the coffee my mother had given me and headed outside. Carter must be long gone by now, but maybe later I could call him and ask for his help. Beg for his help. If all else failed, I would demand his help. Now that he knew Lily was his, he couldn’t refuse her his money.
The outside air was cool as the doors opened for me. I stepped willingly into it, taking a deep breath as it rushed at me. I walked along the sidewalk, veering towards a small park that was off in the distance. The hospital had put it in for the children whose parents forced them to sit and wait with them for news of loved ones. It was in the back of a large parking lot, surrounded by lush foliage. A tranquil place where people could go and forget, if only for a few moments, that they were at a hospital. I’d been there several times over the past months.
I heard movement behind me and paused, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. The movement stopped and I continued on my walk, dismissing the strange nervousness now plaguing me as the result of my exhaustion. As I continued walking, the footsteps following me became obvious. I turned around but saw no one. My eyes scanned the darkness, searching for a face.
An ambulance came screaming into view. Paramedics jumped out and doctors and nurses came running from inside the building to greet them. I decided that my mind must certainly be playing tricks on me. I turned back around and stepped onto the playground, my view of the hospital now partially blocked by some large trees and bushes put in for decoration.
"Hello, Ava," a voice said.
I turned my head to the right and saw Myron step out of the shadows.
43
Carter
I sped along in my father’s car, wishing I hadn’t acted like such a jerk.I knew that Ava hadn’t meant to hurt me. I knew that she’d only been trying to do the right thing. But still... to keep a secret like that for three years. What if I hadn’t come home for Hannah’s wedding? Would Ava ever have told me the truth?
I pictured Lily’s sweet, innocent face. The last time I’d seen her, she’d been pale and her eyes had been sunken. She’d looked so fragile. "I can’t just leave her, can I?" I asked myself.
After all, what responsibility did I really have to a daughter I’d never known about? Was I even listed as the father on her birth certificate? That was something I’d have to find out. If I wasn’t, I’d have to make sure I got my lawyer to change it ASAP.
"Shit," I muttered. "I’m answering my own questions." If I was ready to put myself on Lily’s birth certificate, then I was damn well ready to help her through this current crisis. I could be a father to Lily without being involved with Ava. She had lied to me. Betrayed me. I could never trust her again.
Still... I couldn’t get her fresh fragrance out of my nostrils, or the memory of her lips pressing against mine. I had been with a lot of women over the years, and none of them, including Olivia, had stuck to both my brain and body the way Ava had. I couldn’t wash her off.
I thought about everything that had happened between us in the past week. There had been a number of moments when I’d felt like she was trying to tell me something. At the airport before Olivia showed up, at the dinner she’d invited me to. Boy I’d messed that up big time by bringing Olivia along. Come to think of it, that would have been the perfect opportunity for Ava to tell me about Lily, if only Olivia hadn’t been there.
"Oh my God," I uttered. "I’m such an idiot." Ava had said she’d been trying to tell him, and she’d been telling the truth. I just hadn’t been listening. I pulled into a gas station and sat there, trying to decide what to do. My phone rang and I reached for it without checking the number.
"Ava?" I asked, breathless.
"No, it’s Hannah."
"Oh."
"Sorry to disappoint."
"No, it’s not that," I said quickly. "I just... how are you? How’s Erik?"
"He’s alright. He finally woke up. You know, the cops came in right after you left. They started asking us all about Myron. They think he was behind the attack. They think he was behind everything, actually."
"What do you mean?"
"Your brake lines. Mr. Brewster’s brake lines. All of it."
I took a deep breath. It was alarming that someone Ava had been so seemingly close with might have tried to kill me. "I knew Ava talked to the cops about everything that’s been going on with him, but I didn’t realize..."
"Where are you? Ava’s not with you, is she?"
"No, I’m alone. I’m driving."
Hannah paused. "Driving? Driving where?"
"I don’t know. I had to get out of there. I just... she’s been lying to me Hannah. For three years."
Hannah was silent on the other end for a moment. "What are you talking about?"
I took a deep breath. "Lily. She’s mine. She’s my daughter."
I could almost hear Hannah smile on the other end. "So I’m an aunt?"
I laughed. Leave it to Hannah to turn this back to her. "I guess so. But—"
"But what?" Hannah asked, her voice going stern. "If Lily’s your daughter then nothing else matters. Who cares if Ava lied? Forget about it."
"How am I supposed to forget that she kept my child from me for three years? You don’t even like it when someone borrows a DVD from you and keeps it for a week. Three years is a lot longer than a week."
"That’s a terrible analogy," Hannah scolded me. "And the past is the past. The type of person you are isn’t decided by your old actions; it’s decided by your current ones. You know about Lily now. What are you gonna do about it now?"
I heaved my shoulders forward and let out a long sigh. "You’re right, I guess." There were loud noises in the background on Hannah’s end. It sounded like an army was marching through the hospital. "What’s going on over there?"
"It’s the police. I guess they found something in Myron’s apartment. Some sort of shrine to Ava."
"What? Are you kidding me?"
"No. That’s why I called. The police are looking for her. No one can find her."
My heart hammered in my chest. The hair on the back of my neck began to creep up. My head went light for a second before I was able to calm my racing heart back down. My thoughts were muddled but in them something emerged—an image. I was running out of the hospital after my fight with Ava. Someone approached me from the side. I turned to look, and my view was blocked by the flash of a camera.
I closed my eyes and pictured the silhouette of the person who’d been coming towards me. I couldn’t quite make out the face, but there’d been something in his hand. I had been so preoccupied with my anger at the time that I hadn’t stopped to think. The camera flashed again in my mind and this time the flash glinted off the thing in the silhouette’s hand. A sharp, silver blade gleamed back at me.
I opened my eyes. My breath caught in my chest. "I think Myron’s there. At the hospital."
I heard Hanna’s surprise. "What are you talking about?"
"I think I saw him when I was leaving. He was hiding in the shadows. I couldn’t quite make him out. I didn’t piece it together till just now."
"Carter, this place is swarming with cops. He’d be crazy to come anywhere near here."
"Hannah, he is crazy."
Hannah was silent a moment. "What should I do?"
"Tell the cops. Tell the staff. Find Ava. I’m heading back." I hung up the phone and screeched out of the gas station.
44
Ava
I put up my hands, holding them out as if Myron was a rabid dog I was trying to talk to. I kept my movements soft and slow and my voice bright. "Myron," I said, trying to make him feel at ease. "What’s up? What are you doing here?"
I looked around, searching for someone nearby who might be able to help. The park wasn’t so very far from the hospital. It was just on the outskirts of the parking lot. I could still see the flashing ambulance lights, only now they were parti
ally hidden by the trees. There were voices, but they were off in the distance. What would happen if I screamed? Would someone get to me before Myron did?
"I was looking for you," Myron said, smiling. "I just wondered if you’d given any more thought to our discussion." He sounded so casual. Like we were discussing whether the coffee in the break room was any good instead of whether or not I would sleep with him out of desperation to save Carter.
I racked my brain trying to think of a way out of this. Moonlight shone off of something in Myron’s hand, hitting my eyes. I blinked and realized Myron had a knife at his side. He was holding it like someone might hold a bottle of water, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to be walking around in the dark with a knife in your hand.
"So?" Myron asked. "Have you?"
My brain felt completely fried. I wanted to say the right thing. The space between us was getting smaller and smaller as he crept closer to me. I thought about running for it—I was a fast runner—but it seemed that between the trees and the cars in the parking lot, there were too many obstacles. With my luck, I’d stumble and fall before I’d even made it out of the park.
"I’m more than happy to call the police up tonight and tell them the charges have been dropped."
Myron’s proposition still made me sick: Sleep with me and I’ll drop the charges against Carter.It was a form of extortion that I would never have thought Myron capable of just two weeks ago. Now, my entire opinion about him had changed.
I wondered if there had ever been a moment since we’d known each other that he’d been honest with me. Where I’d known the real Myron. Was that how Carter felt when I’d finally told him about Lily? Did he feel like he’d never really known me? The idea ate me up inside. I was angry and sad at the same time, and those conflicting emotions made everything around me that much more infuriating.
"No, Myron," I snapped. "I’m not sleeping with you. I’m never sleeping with you." The glint in his eye faded and I realized I’d made a mistake. "I mean... I meant not now. At the hospital. Obviously that would be inappropriate. Don’t you think?"
I shot him a quick smile but he wasn’t fooled.
"After everything I’ve done for you," he said, "this is how you treat me?"
He looked so genuinely hurt that for a moment my heart went out to him. He probably couldn’t help it that he was crazy. Maybe he had an illness. Like schizophrenia. There were times where I’d thought he’d seemed like a completely different person. Maybe that’s because he was. Multiple personalities certainly weren’t common, but it was a real condition nevertheless.
"Myron, maybe I can help you. If you’re sick, there are medications—"
"Sick? What the hell are you talking about, Ava? I’m not the sick one here. How could you fuck that football player in his car? Do you like being used? You like being treated like a cheap piece of meat? Because that’s all you are to him, Ava. Meat! A plaything. And when he gets bored with you, he’ll go back home and I’ll still be here, Ava. I’ll still be waiting."
My pulse raced. I wasn’t sure which emotion was greater at this moment—my fear or my anger. "You were watching us?" I asked Myron. The thought that he had seen me and Carter making love in his car at Y-Mart made me nauseous.
"You were in a public place, Ava. It was my right to watch if I wanted to."
"What about stabbing Erik? Was that your right too?"
Myron’s face darkened. "That was an accident. I thought he was Carter. I was afraid I’d lose him so I jumped on him before I realized who it was. Anyways, who cares? I’m sure that guy deserved it too. He’s a Hollywood director."
"What about me, Myron? Do I deserve to die too? Because I don’t want to be your girlfriend?"
Myron’s eyes widened. "Oh no, Ava, I don’t want to kill you. I would never hurt you. Unless you forced me to. Is that what you’re doing? Are you forcing me?"
I hesitated. I was way out of my depth here. There was a noise behind us as a car alarm sounded in the parking lot. Myron turned towards it and I seized the opportunity. I ran.
45
Carter
I peeled into the parking lot of the hospital, stopping my car in front of the entrance and jumping out.
"Hey!" someone shouted at me. "You can’t leave that car there!"
I ignored them. I couldn’t stop kicking myself for running out on Ava like I had. What had I been thinking? No matter what lies Ava had told me, they didn’t matter. She had spent the last three years caring for our daughter. She’d given up everything to care for Lily: her college education, her social life, the career she’d wanted since she was a kid. I couldn’t believe what an asshole I’d been. She’d broken her back for Lily for three years so that I could have my big NFL career, and now, when she needed me most, I’d bailed.
I ran into the hospital and searched the waiting room for Ava, but she wasn’t there.
"Lily Hart," I said, running up to the nurse’s station. "What room is she in?"
"Are you family?" the nurse asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Yes," I said, "I’m her father."
I saw the shock on the nurse’s face. Clearly, she knew who I was and was surprised to find out this new information. "Lily’s in ICU right now. You can go in, but make sure you’re not too loud. There’s a lot of sick people in there."
I followed the nurse’s directions to Lily’s bed in ICU. There were a dozen beds in the intensive care unit, each separated by thin cubicle walls and curtains. There were no doors. In ICU, there wasn’t time for doors. You had to be able to get to someone as quickly as possible if they started to crash.
I approached Lily’s bed, my heart pounding. The curtain was pulled back and Lily’s grandparents sat on a couple of chairs; they were both wearing masks. Martha was reading Lily a book. Lily’s eyes were closed. She was surrounded by machines that beeped and chimed. Some sort of breathing apparatus was attached to her small nose and a tube went down her throat. Martha and David turned to me when they heard my footsteps.
"Carter," Martha said; I could tell she was surprised to see me.
David rose from his chair and shook my hand. "Nice of you to come," he said.
"I..." I forgot how to talk for a moment. Seeing Lily like this, with the new knowledge that she was my daughter, overwhelmed me to the point that the room began to spin. I quickly sat down, my head between my hands. "Is she awake?" I asked.
"No," Martha said. "She’s been asleep since we brought her in."
"I don’t understand. Why don’t the doctors do something?" I asked desperately. It did not go unnoticed by Martha or David.
"Money," Martha told me. "The world revolves around it. We’re still trying to raise it though. There’s still time. Not much, but some."
I stood, my mind made up. "I need to see the doctor. I need to find Ava."
"Ava went for a walk a little while ago," Martha said.
"A walk?" I turned to her, full of fright. Martha and David stared back at me with alarm.
"Yes, a walk. Why? Is something wrong?"
I shook my head. There was no time to explain. If I was right, and it had been Myron that he’d seen outside when I was leaving, then Ava was in danger.
"I have to find her. She’s not safe."
Martha laughed. "There are police everywhere. If you’re worried about that Myron person the police spoke to us about, I’m sure he’s long gone by now."
David put a hand on Martha’s arm. "What makes you think she’s in danger?" he asked.
I hesitated. David and Martha both looked so tired. I didn’t want to worry them anymore than necessary.
"I just need to find her."
"I think she was headed for the park," David said.
"Thanks," I replied, taking off. I shot one last look at Lily, whose poor body already seemed so withered and dead. But I wouldn’t let myself think like that. I’d find Ava then talk to the doctors about the surgery. I’d pay for everything. Whatever the costs were, they wouldn’t m
atter if only the surgery worked. If only Lily could be saved.
I ran through the emergency room doors, searching for the park I knew I had passed by on my way in. The photographers had all left. They must have gotten a tip that the police were about to bust Erik’s attacker and had gone to document the whole thing for their papers or internet sites.
My eyes adjusted slowly to the darkness as I moved towards the playground. A loud scream pierced the night air. Everyone near me turned and looked towards it. Ava. I ran towards the park, praying I wasn’t too late.
46
Ava
I let out a long, loud scream to rival anything you might’ve heard in a good horror film. Myron pushed me to the ground. My head hit the dirt but I snapped back up just as fast as I’d fallen. I couldn’t let him pin me.
"Myron, stop it!" I screamed.
Myron ran towards me again, pulling at my hair. I pushed his hands away and he fell back onto a swing. The chain caught his hand, snagging his skin, and he yelped and dropped the knife. I dove for it.
I had the knife in my hands when Myron’s fist met my lower back bone. It crunched against me and I fell to the ground once more, my breath catching in my chest. Pain coursed through me. I couldn’t believe that a fist was enough to send me back into spasms. I rolled over as Myron took the knife back.
"Now then," he said, smirking. He climbed on top of me. I felt the hard mass in his pants as he straddled me. "This is an interesting situation, isn’t it?" he said.
"Myron, please don’t," I pleaded. I squirmed under him, trying to free myself. Myron leaned towards me, his tongue sliding out and licking my neck. His hand reached up and under my shirt, pawing at me like I was a dog toy.
"Myron, please..." I cried, tears flowing down my cheeks. But Myron had no interest in stopping. His hand reached down between my legs, searching. A new thought struck me.