by Cindy Kirk
The world spun. She was forced to hold on to the top of the counter until the lightheaded feeling passed.
Slowly, she lowered herself back into the chair, her heart pounding. First, the nausea this morning. Now, the lightheadedness.
If she didn’t know better, she’d think she was—
Charlotte stopped herself before she could finish the thought. It was simply not possible.
Then she remembered the single condom. She recalled telling Adam they had nothing to worry about when one time had not been enough. That had been—she did a swift calculation—six weeks ago.
Blowing out a breath, Charlotte sat back. Simply not possible was now a possibility.
Chapter Five
After leaving the salon, Charlotte took the longer, circuitous route to walk home.
What if she was pregnant? Though she supposed there was a slight possibility, the rational part of her brain told her she was being ridiculous. The specialist she’d seen had informed her that at age forty-one, she had only a twelve percent chance of conceiving. And that had been with IVF.
Charlotte recalled the stat because it was so low. She’d tried two rounds of intrauterine insemination without success.
Sometimes long shots do come in, a tiny voice inside her whispered. That’s exactly what her getting pregnant would be—a long shot. She wasn’t even sure when she’d had her last period. Everything was so screwed up since the hormones she’d been on for the IUI that, when she’d hopped off the fertility hamster wheel, she’d quit keeping track.
After glancing around to make sure no one was nearby, she gave one of her breasts a squeeze. Not sore, though the electrical zing was something new.
As were the nausea and lightheadedness.
She might as well do a pregnancy test, just to rule out the possibility. Charlotte knew herself well enough to know that if she didn’t, her mind would simply keep circling back to the possibility.
Best to get it off the table as soon as possible.
Satisfied with the decision, she resolved to order a kit online. There was no way she’d pick one up in town or even in a nearby town. Keeping a low profile had helped her avoid the gossip mill. Anything printed about her in the Open Door newsletter had focused on the salon.
If news got out that she’d purchased a pregnancy test, that news would reach Adam’s ears.
The sun might be warm, but a shiver of apprehension crawled up Charlotte’s spine. What if she was pregnant and he wanted to be involved in the baby’s life? Not wanting that involvement was the reason she’d decided she would go with a donor rather than one of her male friends in California.
If she had a baby, she wanted it to be hers. One she would raise. Without any input.
Would she tell Adam if she discovered she was pregnant?
Charlotte shoved the thought aside. No reason to go there now. Hill’s General Store came into view, and she slowed her steps.
She’d been in the store before. The commercial Italianate structure dated back to the early-twentieth century. Charlotte found the white clapboard siding and covered porch rather plain. The inside was just as stark, with flooring that was little more than rough wooden planks. Still, the past couple of times she’d been here, the quiet, rustic ambience had been oddly soothing.
Catering to tourists, the store offered a little bit of everything, from fishing lures and bug spray to a full-service pharmacy.
Charlotte had forgotten a couple of minor items on an earlier trip to the grocery store this week. She wasn’t yet out of deodorant or toothpaste and could just as easily order them online when she ordered the pregnancy test.
Maybe it was the fact that she wasn’t in any hurry to get home that had her opening the door and taking a step back in time.
Charlotte identified a couple of customers as tourists. Jackie—she couldn’t recall the woman’s last name—was operating the antique cash register and visiting with one of them.
Charlotte didn’t need to disturb Jackie or the pharmacist to ask where to find deodorant and toothpaste. The place was so compact, unless management had decided to put them next to fishing lures and bait, the aisles closest to the pharmacy window seemed the likely place to start.
She located both items quickly and had turned toward the cash register when her eye caught three letters. EPT.
Keep walking, her brain told her. There was no reason to look at the test now. She’d done enough of them to know which ones she preferred.
Her free hand snaked out and closed around the box. She found herself lifting it to eye level. It’s okay, she reassured herself, there’s no one around.
The thought hadn’t had time to settle when the sound of boots on the rough flooring had her hiding the test behind her back. She would wait until the person passed by and-
“Charlotte. This is a nice surprise.”
Her heart rate hit the stratosphere. Stay calm, she told herself and met Adam’s gaze. She dug her fingers into the sides of the box she clutched. “Adam, hi. What are you doing here?”
“Dad had a prescription he forgot to pick up, so I offered to get it for him.” His gaze dropped. “What are you doing?”
“I was at the salon. Just picking up a few things and heading home.”
“Deodorant and toothpaste. Exciting stuff.”
She lifted her left hand and prayed he’d move on to the pharmacy window. Prayed he wouldn’t notice that her right hand remained out of sight.
“Necessities,” she added when his gaze lingered, but he didn’t speak. “Speaking of necessities, don’t let me keep you. Your father is probably waiting.”
“What are you holding?” Adam’s tone turned teasing.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She’d have waved a hand, sending him on his way, but at the moment she didn’t have one free.
His smile widened, and alarm bells rang when he took a step closer. The skin around his eyes crinkled, and good humor filled his voice. “C’mon, Char, show me what you’re hiding.”
“Go. I’m busy and—”
Adam reached around her, bringing his face close to hers. His mouth even closer.
Her heart rate skyrocketed. Not from his nearness. This time because of the danger. She couldn’t let him see…
Before Charlotte could stop him, he nipped the box from her hand. “Was that so bad? This is—”
The blood drained from Adam’s face. He stared down at the pregnancy test, then up at her. She saw the shock in his eyes.
Maybe that boded well for the future. Perhaps he wouldn’t be interested in the baby, if she was pregnant, which was unlikely.
The sound of other footsteps and other voices had Charlotte snatching the box from his hand and placing it back on the shelf.
“Together again.” Satisfaction filled Gladys’s voice. “The couple that shops together stays together.”
Standing behind her, Oaklee snorted out a laugh. “That’s lame even for you, G.”
Gladys turned to fix imperious blue eyes on her young companion.
“I’m sorry.” Oaklee sounded sincerely contrite. “That was rude.”
Even as her heart hammered in her chest, Charlotte managed to paste a smile on her lips. She wanted them gone. No, she amended, she wanted to be gone. Out the door.
She needed to do it without creating a scene, though.
“Charlotte had to pick up a few items, and I needed to grab a prescription for my father.” Adam’s voice, low and controlled, sounded easy on her ears.
The warning in those brown depths told her if she ran, she wouldn’t get far.
“Stan is a doll. Such a wonderful man.” Gladys smiled. “Your tomatoes are absolutely gorgeous. I got a dozen. When I was a little girl, we ate them like apples.”
“I informed Gladys I’d give that a try when we get back to the Living Center,” Oaklee advised. “With lots of napkins nearby.”
Gladys chuckled. “As juicy as these are, you’ll need ’em.”
Gladys’s home must be at the Good Hope Living Center, Charlotte thought. Or perhaps that’s where her friends lived. Charlotte didn’t care.
“We’d love to stay and chat.” Charlotte curled her fingers around Adam’s hand. “But we need to get that prescription for Stan and be on our way.”
“Of course.” Gladys smiled. “I’ll be getting in touch with you both about volunteering at the Cherry Festival.”
“Sure.” Charlotte would have agreed to practically anything to get Gladys moving along. “Sounds like fun.”
“This is a busy time for me.” Adam hesitated. “With the cherry harvest in full swing, it’s difficult for me to get away.”
Charlotte could see Gladys mounting her arguments and had no doubt they’d be standing here for another ten minutes.
“We’ll talk about it and get back to you.” Charlotte gave Adam’s hand a hard squeeze.
Understanding dawned in his eyes. He nodded. “Good idea.”
Though she was relieved to finally be able to say good-bye to Gladys and Oaklee, there was no way she would get rid of Adam so easily.
Which was why she found herself walking silently beside him as he picked up his dad’s medication, then he did the same while she paid for her two items.
Once they were out of the store, Charlotte started walking, not turning toward the business district or the town square where his father waited, but toward the water.
The street ended, but Charlotte kept moving forward, trying to still the alarms going off in her head. This area between the dead end and the water was wooded, but she could see Green Bay ahead.
There was no beach or place to moor a boat at this part, the shoreline only patchy land leading to the water’s edge. They shouldn’t be disturbed here. Charlotte climbed up to sit on the top of a weathered picnic table near the water.
The tabletop was peeling paint, and bits of twigs and leaves from a recent storm were scattered across the top. Charlotte did her best to brush away the debris before she sat.
Adam simply climbed up and dropped down beside her. “Are you pregnant?”
Charlotte lifted her shoulders, let them drop. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
She didn’t like seeing the worry in his eyes, knowing she was the cause.
“You must have some suspicions, or you wouldn’t have been looking at tests.”
The words hung in the still air, the silence finally broken by the cawing of a bird swooping low over the water.
“My doctor gave me a twelve percent chance of getting pregnant. I tried a couple of intrauterine inseminations last year that didn’t work.”
“You were trying to get pregnant?” His voice rose.
“Yes, but not with you.” She spoke quickly as his dark brows crashed together like two thunderclouds. “I wasn’t using you or anything like that. I didn’t—don’t—want a man involved at all, other than, you know, what’s necessary.”
Confusion replaced his fury. “You need to back this train up.”
Charlotte considered herself a private person. She didn’t go around sharing with, well, practically anyone.
But Adam might have a pony in this race.
Charlotte stopped herself. She hated it when one of her dad’s old sayings came to mind. The crazy thing was, in this instance, it fit.
Adam was a persistent guy. One way or the other, he would demand answers. She might as well lay it all out now so they could move on.
“When I found myself approaching forty, I realized that while I could easily live the rest of my life without a man, I wanted a child. That’s when I went to the doctor and discovered I was running out of time.”
“You’re ill?”
The concern in his voice warmed her.
“No, I’m old. At least when it comes to getting pregnant. My fertility is on the downward curve. If I was going to have a child, it had to be soon.” She gave a little laugh. “The news couldn’t have come at a worse time. My salon in San Diego was bleeding red. I tapped into my reserves, but the two IUI cycles wiped me out.”
“Wouldn’t finding a man be easier? Not to mention cheaper.”
“I want to raise a baby with no outside interference.”
“You don’t want the father involved.” He spoke slowly, as if still piecing the idea together in his head. “That’s why you went with insemination.”
Pleased he finally understood, she nodded. “Exactly.”
“Which is why, if you are pregnant, you didn’t want me to know.”
“Which is why, if I am pregnant, you don’t need to worry about me wanting something from you.” Feeling as if she’d hit her stride and they were finally on the same page, Charlotte continued with more confidence. “No child support. No visitation. Nothing that will disrupt your life. If I am pregnant, that is. But as I said, a pregnancy isn’t likely.”
Adam inclined his head, his expression giving none of his thoughts away. “If a pregnancy is so unlikely, why were you looking at tests? Do you have symptoms?”
Charlotte waved a dismissive hand. “A few minor ones that could be something else entirely.”
“Such as?”
The wind picked up, whipping her hair into her face.
Before she could react, Adam leaned over and gently brushed a long blonde strand behind her ear.
The gesture wasn’t anything special. Then why were tears stinging the backs of her eyes? Stress, she decided. Pure and simple.
“Such as?” he prompted when she didn’t speak.
“A little nausea. Today, my coffee didn’t taste right. Then, when I was at the salon, I got up quickly and was lightheaded.”
Concern filled his eyes as they searched her face. “Are you okay?”
“Absolutely. I didn’t fall or anything, just a moment of dizziness.” Charlotte decided not to mention the bit about squeezing her breast and getting a zing. “I got to thinking and—”
“Decided to check and be sure.”
“I wasn’t going to buy the test at the General Store. I don’t even know why I picked it up.” Charlotte blew out a breath. “Then you walked up. Then Gladys. And now, well, now here we are.”
“You’d never have told me.” It was a statement, not a question.
“I don’t honestly know. I’m thinking probably not, but I can’t be sure. Like I said, I don’t believe I am.”
“Let’s find out.” He jumped off the table and offered her his hand.
“Forget it. I’m not buying a pregnancy test in Good Hope.” She hopped down from the picnic table.
“We’ll drive to Sturgeon Bay.”
“It’s late.” Charlotte didn’t want to take the test or speak about the results with him.
“They have a Walmart that’s open until midnight.” His hand closed over her fingers, but when he tugged, she pulled back.
His unyielding gaze met hers. “This isn’t going away. I’m not going away until I know the truth.”
Did that mean he would go away once he knew? Clinging to that faint hope, she nodded. “Let’s go.”
Chapter Six
Adam pulled into the Walmart parking lot in less than thirty minutes. Buying the test took less than ten. For good measure, they purchased two.
Charlotte said little on the drive back to Good Hope. Though she seemed to be doing her best to appear relaxed, the hands folded in her lap showed white knuckles.
“I don’t recall you saying much about your family.” Adam wondered what her parents thought of her plan to have a baby on her own. Perhaps they didn’t know. “Tell me about them.”
“My parents divorced when I was twelve. I was an only child. They’ve remarried, and both have children with their new spouse. I’m a reminder of a past mistake.”
“What would they think about you having a baby?”
She shrugged. “I don’t think they’d care one way or the other. What about your mother?”
“She lives in Texas with her husband.” Adam hesitated, then continued. “She m
arried Stan when I was eight. They divorced ten years later.”
“Stan isn’t your father?”
“He’s my dad in every way except blood.” Adam’s tone brooked no argument. “He’s the only dad I’ve known. My birth father—I guess that’s what they’re called now—paid child support, but wanted nothing to do with me.”
Silence filled the cab of the truck for several heartbeats.
“Stan is great. I couldn’t ask for a better father or business partner.”
Why had he told Charlotte about Stan? It’s not like it mattered. Except, in a very personal way, it did.
Adam knew what it was like to grow up without a dad. His birth father hadn’t wanted him. His mom had made that clear.
The fact that Adam had written to the guy and the man had never written back or come to visit told Adam his mother hadn’t been lying.
He remembered wondering what he’d done wrong. Wondering why his dad didn’t love him. He’d promised himself that when he had kids, they’d know their dad cared. Which was why, if Charlotte was pregnant, Adam would be involved in his son’s or daughter’s life.
He pulled his truck to a stop next to her car behind the bakery.
“I’ll call you.” She grabbed the sack. “Or text.”
Adam pushed open his door. “I’m coming up with you.”
A haughty look filled her eyes, and her voice turned cool as winter. “I don’t recall inviting you.”
“We’re in this together.” He gestured toward the plastic bag. “Until we find out we’re not.”
She opened her mouth, hesitated, then closed it.
Smart woman. She’d obviously realized this was a battle she wouldn’t win.
“I understand you’re worried.” She talked as she opened the door and then all the way up the stairs. “But, really, you don’t need to be. I meant what I said. I have zero expectations. In fact, I prefer, if by some fluke I am pregnant, that you not be involved.”
Adam only listened. Until they knew for sure they had an issue, he saw no need to argue the point. It was obvious by her rapid speech and the trembling fingers when she unlocked the door that she wasn’t as calm as she pretended to be.