The paradox of mourning and victory would be observed for days. At the end of the third day Running Wolf stood on the top of the hill as the camp retired. His massive frame cut a perfect silhouette on the full moon. He looked into the sky and called to his father.
“I knew I could make your heart proud of me. I have avenged the death of our people and helped them to victory.” He raised his hands to the heavens. “I still have to avenge your death at the hands of the white man.” He closed his eyes in meditation. He thought about the dream once again. With the death of Long Summer Day he knew it was his destiny.
~10~
The Wonder of the Mountains
“What dream?” I questioned Tiponi growing somewhat impatient with him.
He looked at me and shook his head.
“You are a very impatient woman.”
I sat back and regrouped knowing that I had once again offended the old man. But I had so many questions. Was he ever going to tell me about my heritage? Was there any connection in the families? Was he just an eccentric old man?
I had made the investment of time and money to come here and now I was becoming very frustrated. I sighed and realized I had little control at this point. I decided to let him choose to tell me when he was ready. It was not going to happen with my prodding.
“You know my friend,” he addressed me fondly. He put his finger to his temple. “I think that there is much you have to learn. You have the heart of a suspicious woman. You keep your heart in a place that you think is safe. I think that it has been hurt before. You need to open it again to love.”
I was taken aback by his words. I had prided myself on being open, yet he was right on target with the hurt part. I reflected to the betrayal in my past marriage.
“You really need to learn to trust, Darcy.” He sat back as though in deep thought. “I have a suggestion for you,” he said.
I was listening intently.
“The mountains carry the wisdom and patience you need. The spirits that live there can help you to heal your heart if you let them. You will be given a sign once your heart is open to receiving it. I suggest that you go there and meditate. Go and make a place for yourself that is yours alone. There are more answers there than I can give to you, if you believe. This will be an interesting test for you.”
I was not sure what he meant. Either this man was totally whacked or had the Wisdom of Solomon. He certainly knew how to arouse my curiosity. His words made me want to pack up and head for the hills. He gave me an incentive in spite of the fact that I did not know if I could go to the mountains all-alone at night. He was talking in riddles, but I felt called to the challenge.
When I left his home I found Lilly and asked her about the stay in the mountains.
“It is relatively safe. Hope you are not skittish. There are a lot of noises that you will hear. They are mostly animals that will not harm you. It is very peaceful and serene.”
I was not sure about it, but I was willing to give it a try. I had to do it because Tiponi had made the comment about my heart. I needed to see what he was talking about. I also wanted to see if the ‘sign’ would be there.
Tonight would tell me a lot about Tiponi. A lot of what he had shared with me told me the Native Americans had a belief system that I found both intriguing and mystical. His deep spirituality and guidance might hold some answers to my struggles when it came to matters of the heart. Maybe the mountains would hold some ‘magic’ for me. I was not too sure about a lot of things lately. After my heartache with Jack I was feeling somewhat tender. A healing would be a welcome stranger.
I would do it!
I packed up the gear that Lilly so generously shared with me. I had camped many times before and it was kind of an adventure. Beside that, I had Cosette at my side. She was a comfort.
Later that night I found myself enjoying the fire: I was at peace with the world. I was okay until I saw the beautiful moon. It was even more majestic in the Montana sky. Of course my thoughts turned to Jack. What was he doing under this moon, I wondered? How it hurt to be so far from him yet there was this connection we had that always made him seem so close. I knew in that moment that I should not have left without seeing him. If I had, he might be here tonight with me. The glow of the moon was casting a romantic blanket on the mountains of my heritage. Nothing would be more gratifying than to share the fire and the moon with him. I opened my eyes. I had been so calm that I had dozed off somewhat during my meditation. There was not a feeling of fear, just harmony with the nature that surrounded me. There seemed to be something here that was a great comfort to me. Tiponi was right.
It was getting very dark and chilly. The combination of the night air and the mountains had a tranquil effect on me. I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was get into the tent and lie down. For the first time in a long time I knew that I could easily fall asleep.
Cosette and I were tucked in and almost asleep when I thought I heard something. Cosette perked her ears so I knew she heard it too. I looked at Cosette to get a reading as to how threatening the situation might be. She had a keen sense of when something was amiss. She was not growling. She was not ready to defend. Instead, she was wagging her tail. It was as though she was in anticipation of greeting someone she knew. I could hear the sound coming closer. Someone was definitely approaching the tent. I was not sure how far it was but in the muffled sound I heard my name being called. I began to shake and I was sure they could hear my heart beating! The voice kept calling my name. As the voice became closer I was able to recognize the tone. It was Jack!
He peaked into the opening of the tent.
“Can I come in?” he asked trying not to startle me.
I was elated! I was not sure how he found me.
“Jack, you are here!” It sounded like a question but it was more of an excited hello.
“Uh, yeah,” he said looking down at himself as if it were obvious.
“How on earth did you find me?” I asked totally bewildered.
“I have my ways, you should know that,” he said grinning in answer to my question. He was folding his tall frame to enter the tent. I am tall but he exceeds me by almost seven inches to a whopping 6’4”. He looked so handsome with more than a slight 5 o’clock shadow. He must have been off work for a couple of days. He would always do the ‘scruffy’ look for me when he had some time away from the office. He knew I liked it and he was not opposed to missing a shave once in awhile. His dark brown hair was worn slightly long enough to be sexy, yet short enough to be professional. He had a wonderful slight curl that I loved to put my fingers through. In the past years that we had been dating I noticed his temples had begun to gray. This was something he attributed to dating me! He had wonderful green eyes that still swept me off my feet.
It did not matter how he managed to find me he was here. That was all that was important. I hugged him as though there was not a care between us. It was just that way with Jack. I could not help but feel drawn to him and his magnetic personality. It was as though nothing had ever happened to estrange us. I think being in the wilderness far from our troubles made me look at him differently, or at least tonight it was that way.
“It is so good to see you, Jack. I have missed you,” I said from my heart.
“I was not sure you would be so happy, Darcy, but I am glad you are,” Jack said giving me the look that always made me melt.
“However, I have to tell you that I think I got here on just the right day.” He looked around. “Whatever possessed you to do this? Don’t you know how dangerous it can be here in the mountains?” He shook his head as he looked around.
“I’m fine,” I replied and went on to explain. “I think I had told you before I left that I was going to meet with a Native American who might be able to help me in my search and my manuscript. Well, it was his suggestion that I camp here in the mountains tonight. He said that they have answers for me.” I smiled and began to say something heavy.
Jack put his finger up to my
mouth.
“Just don’t ruin the night. I did not come here to do that Darcy; I hope you know me better. Let’s just enjoy each other tonight and deal with the details tomorrow.”
For once I kept my mouth shut. I did not realize how thirsty my eyes were for the face and body of such a beautiful man. I missed him so! There was little said between us that night it was just our unspoken love and desire to be together.
~
The following day Jack told me my daughter Rachel had told him where he could find me. She liked him and so did my son. Jack was charming and sweet. He did not enter my home as a threat to my children. He was considerate and kind. In retrospect there was an instant attraction on both our parts when we first met. Sounds great, except for one minor detail; Jack was fifteen years my junior!
We had met when a good friend suggested his legal services for my painful and lengthy divorce. He managed to get me a good settlement after twenty years of marriage. He was patient with a woman who was bitter after the age-old scenario of being left for a younger woman. We got along well from the beginning. We had a good friendship and a productive and trusting professional relationship.
After the divorce Jack found time from his family law practice to help me when I decided to make writing my full-time career. Eventually I became his main client. Over the years he was a friend of the family. One year on my birthday he presented me with a lovable puppy. We had just been to the theater to see Les Miserables. She was named accordingly. She was as devoted to him as she was to my children and me.
Having an attorney in the family was very helpful. Jack would give a lot of ‘free’ advice that earned him the admiration of my family, especially my son and daughter. I liked the fact he was someone I considered a friend. There was no pressure. I was not looking for a romantic interlude after such a bitter divorce. At least that is what I told myself.
It was not until I had a party in my home for Christmas that we began to date or rather the affair began.
I had some people over for a holiday party. It was the day before Christmas Eve so the party broke up rather early. Jack stayed to help. I could feel the sexual tension mounting between us as we worked together cleaning up.
I realized that night he was not just a friend. I guess I had been blind to it even though others had told me he was interested in me. After we had cleaned everything I offered him coffee before he left. I can remember the scene as though it were yesterday.
We were standing in front of the tree. In the background was the song I’ll be home for Christmas. Our eyes met. I made a futile attempt to small talk. The wine from earlier, the devoted friendship we already shared and the attraction that we had always had for each other, suddenly turned into passion. He took me in his arms and kissed me. Before I knew it I was swept up and carried to my room. We spent the night together in blissful love. I have never been the same. That was three years ago.
Things were going so well until he asked me to marry him!
~
In the morning I was making coffee for Jack. He was sound asleep and missing the beautiful sunrise. For some reason, I will never understand how, he would rather sleep than to watch the beauty of nature. It was one of the many differences between us. He was much more grounded. I had come to rely on that in the past few years.
I was surprised to see him emerge from the tent so early.
“Well, good morning my love,” I said as he grumbled.
I was still curious how he had gotten to the mountain. I had my bike and there was not any evidence of a vehicle for him.
“How did you get here? You said we would talk about the details today.” I prodded.
“Gee, Darcy you don’t miss a beat. Even prisoners are given a cup of coffee before the interrogation.”
I handed him a cup of coffee.
“Sorry, here, this is fixed the way you like it.”
He rolled his eyes patiently; he sat and told me that he had arrived on horseback from a very tall Native American.
“You don’t mean that big guy who never speaks a word?” I inquired.
“Yeah, I think that is the one.”
My curiosity was getting the best of me.
“I cannot believe that he spoke to you, he creeps me out, always looking at me and never speaking.”
“At the risk of an argument, maybe it is your approach, Darcy?”
Jack had told me that I was inadvertently aloof at times. As an attorney he often played the diplomat. He had acquired a keen sense of when to charm and when to go in for the kill.
I nodded in agreement to his remark. I did not want to spoil the beautiful moment or the memory of last night by denying the fact. This brought a surprised look to Jack’s face.
“Well, I am glad you are here,” I said as I sat closer to him. He put his arm around me and we enjoyed the brisk morning.
“When are you coming home, Darcy? You left without even a ‘good-bye.’ We have some unfinished business, you and I.”
“Now you are talking too much, please don’t ruin the moment, Jack.” I did not want to get into a ‘relationship talk’. I tried sweet-talking.
“I cannot believe how much I have missed you.” I refilled his cup.” To answer your question, I will finish this project in a couple of weeks and then I will be home. I am excited to share what I had learned already. It is fascinating and I think I will finally get to the meat of the story tonight.”
Jack looked down at the campfire.
“Hey, maybe you could come with me tonight?” I asked him hoping he was not leaving anytime soon.
“We’ll see.” He said in his non-committal tone. He was pouting.
I wanted to lighten the conversation. We spent the rest of the morning talking about the stories Tiponi had shared with me. I loved how Jack would give me feedback and ideas. He was so bright and he took an interest in my projects. I loved his mind; it was much more pragmatic than mine. He was very analytical, which did not give much space for a creative imagination. He was amazed at how I could write fiction. I was amazed at how he could logically think things through, an attorney’s training I’m sure. For the past three years he had been supportive of my work no matter how much it demanded of me. He was my best critic and my most loyal fan.
~11~
A Treasure from Madeline
Jack accompanied me when I visited Tiponi that night. He was planning on staying for an undisclosed length of time. I was more than happy to have his company. I could see he needed the rest.
“I see that you have been to the mountains,” Tiponi said
when I entered the room. I must have looked somewhat different to him.
“It is clear that your heart found some peace,” he continued.
“Well, it is more like someone found me,” I replied pointing to Jack.
“Yes, your peaceful heart, as I said you would find.”
I did not elaborate or argue. I decided to let the old man think that the magic of the mountains had actually transpired. Later, I would learn how accurate Tiponi really had been. I was too intent on the problems Jack and I faced to see the simplicity of his wisdom.
I let his comment go, not wanting to bring up that Jack and I had some issues. I could almost feel Jack grinning behind me.
Tiponi smiled as though his premonition came to pass. When I introduced Jack to Tiponi there was an instant connection between the two. Jack had accomplished in a matter of moments what took me several days to come close to achieving.
As we made ourselves comfortable I decided that I would not prod Tiponi for information. His wisdom in guiding me to the trip in the mountains gave me a new respect for this deep-rooted mystical man even though at the time I would not admit it.
I had learned to respect that the Native Americans did things on a different time schedule. He would tell me about the dream when he knew it was the right time.
I would be curious to see what Jack thought about Tiponi. I knew Jack well and could see that he liked Tiponi at
first glance. He could read people very well.
As much as he did not want me to take on this project he had an open mind. I could count on him to be fair. Now that he was here I wanted to know what he thought about everything.
Tiponi began today’s session with the story of Rebecca’s departure from home.
~
Jeremiahs’ heart broke as he kissed his daughter good-bye. Up until the time she left Philip tried to convince her to stay. It was a futile attempt every time. It had been several weeks since the party but the gossip continued. She was relieved to be leaving it behind. Rebecca was not one to be run off. She was not sure that was the complete reason for her departure. It had become a force within her she found hard to explain, even to herself.
And then there was Sarah. She had spent many more years with her that originally intended. She considered Sarah her baby sister. Rebecca had taken on the role of a surrogate mother to her younger cousin during the last five years of her Aunt Christine’s illness. Christine was confined to bed and could not care for her only child. Rebecca displayed uncharacteristic maternal affection to Sarah during that time. Most in Boston would never be aware of the very tender side of Rebecca Butler. Sarah would never forget it.
~
Jeremiah held Rebecca close to his heart, not sure he would ever see her again.
“I will miss you terribly,” he said thinking that he could not keep a Butler woman with him.
“I have tried to do my best for you without your mother here.”
Rebecca remained quiet, her eyes full of tears.
They were standing on the large circular driveway of their home. Sarah and Robert were waiting as she said her good-byes to Jeremiah and Philip. They were due to meet the wagon train in a couple of hours.
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