by Sara York
Inspecting his face and hair was an excuse. Really, he was avoiding Davis. He hated himself for hiding in here. Davis was worried, and he should go find him, but Davis had blown up. He’d yelled, telling him to go to hell. Before storming out, Davis had told him to leave him the fuck alone. He had, but thirty minutes had passed. He doubted Davis really meant the words he’d said, but they still hurt. He didn’t want to react and yell at Davis. No, he wanted to have a level head when he went to Davis.
Ryan sighed and moved to their closet, finding his jeans and a T-shirt. He pulled on his clothes and slipped into his boots before heading out to search for his man. He grabbed two beers on the way out the door, hoping Davis’ anger would melt if he approached with a peace offering.
Once outside, he saw Davis across the pasture. The horses were out, but even they were ignoring Davis. It looked like he was fixing a fence stave. Ryan walked over, slowing as he neared his lover. They’d come together so fast, and he knew there were people who would look him in the face and tell him he’d made a mistake falling for Davis basically in a few weeks. That love at first sight wasn’t real and when you fell for love’s lie, this was what you got. But they were wrong. He did love Davis, more than anything, he loved the man with his whole heart. Explaining his love to nonbelievers was impossible.
Davis stopped working and stood tall. He removed his gloves and reached for the beer. Ryan handed one over, watching his man’s face for any clues how he felt.
Before Davis took a drink, he closed his eyes and his lips grew thin as his brow bunched. Ryan moved to him, putting his hand on Davis’ shoulder.
“Babe,” Ryan whispered.
“I’m so sorry. I’m stressed and worried about Duff. Then Mike and Tanner disappeared.”
“I know.”
Davis looked up and met his gaze. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”
“Already forgiven. What can I do to help?”
Davis took a swig of his beer and shook his head as his gaze traveled over the field. “I don’t know.”
“Let me in.” His gaze didn’t waver, and when Davis finally looked at him again, he saw sorrow.
“I’ve screwed up, haven’t I?”
Ryan’s lips curved up and he shook his head. “No, not really. I love you. You’re hurting and it’s a well-known fact you lash out at those who are closest. One day, I’m going to need you to support me through something huge. And I have no doubt you’ll be a steady rock.”
Davis took another swig of his beer. “Someone needs to say something to Dad.”
“I will.”
“He’s going to be angry.”
Ryan gave a quick nod before he took a long pull on his beer. How life had gotten so complex. He’d been innocently minding his business and then bam, this incredible man had come into his life. The complexity, the issues, the pain, the fear, all of it, he would take it and then some if it meant Davis was happy.
“Yeah, he’ll be mad. But you’ll be happy, and, love, that’s what matters most to me.”
“God, I love you, Ryan.”
“I love you too. Are you done out here?”
“Almost. I just need to fasten this last clip then I’m calling it.”
Ryan reached out and took Davis’ beer. “I’ll hold your beer and watch. Should I whip out my phone and record it?”
Davis rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You make me laugh. Thank you.”
Ryan chuckled and stepped back. It took Davis about five seconds to finish his task. He picked up his tools, slinging the tool belt over his shoulder before reaching for his beer. They finished their beverages on the walk back to the barn.
Inside, he found Zander and Marshal cleaning the stalls. He moved to the stall Zander was cleaning while Davis put up the tools. Zander glanced up and lifted his brows.
“I guess you heard?” Ryan asked.
“Everyone did except Mike and Tanner and they might have because it was that loud.” Zander shook his head before pitching another pile of horse shit into the wheelbarrow.
“Sorry,” Davis murmured as he stepped up behind Ryan.
“You gotta find a way to deal with it.” Marshal gave him a pointed stare, making his insides twist.
“I know. Yelling at Ryan isn’t acceptable. I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t him I was mad at. I made a mistake. It was wrong.”
“I’ve forgiven him.” Ryan reached out and took his hand.
“Davis, I know he’s your dad.”
Davis rolled his eyes and grimaced at Marshal’s statement. The man lifted one brow and tilted his head to the side in a don’t give me that shit kind of way.
“I know what happened, and he’s still your dad. You may be angry, but you’ve got to find some way to control the beast inside you.”
Davis’s stomach twisted. Marshal was right. He had to learn control.
Ryan squeezed his hand. “Let’s go in.”
“God, I’m going to have to apologize to everyone,” Maybe Davis felt the weight of his stupidity. He’d messed up. His outburst wasn’t how any of them handled themselves, even when really bad things happened.
“You’ll survive,” Zander tossed over his shoulder.
“Fuck, I’m being a wimp. Zander, I’m sorry.”
Zander stepped out of the stall and handed Davis the pitchfork. “There are two more stalls to clean. When you’re done, come in. We’ll have talked to everyone and smoothed the way.”
Davis let go of his hand and took the pitchfork. “Thank you, Zander, for understanding.”
“We all get angry, but Marshal is right.”
Davis’s lips thinned as he stepped into the stall. He scooped up a shovel of shit and dumped it in the wheelbarrow. Ryan turned away and left the barn. Davis needed time. He thought about going back to him, but he followed Marshal and Zander inside. He didn’t stay in the den where strange looks were passed around, instead he went to his room and showered before going to Duff’s room.
The knock wasn’t answered and he knocked again before pushing the door open. “Duff, you in there?”
“Ryan, is that you?”
“Yeah.”
“Good lord, did I cause Davis to blow up at you?”
“No, that’s all on Davis. He’s taken responsibility for his anger. He’s out at the barn shoveling shit so he has time to think about what he did.”
Ryan stepped into Duff’s room and took a seat next to his bed. Duff was pale and when he stood, he wobbled and sat back down on the edge of the bed.
“Duff, he’s not wrong though. You need to go back to the doctor.”
Ryan understood Duff’s reticence to head to a hospital. Giving up control was hard when you’ve been the leader of a military team.
Duff reached out and took his hand. “I wasn’t a good enough father to him. I should have been open, more accepting of him. It’s not his fault we’re so different. Anyway, I can’t go back and correct the past, but I love him. I love him so much and I don’t want him—” Duff choked back a sob.
It was difficult to see this strong man start to fall apart. Tears gathered in his eyes, and though it was obvious he didn’t want them to fall, they were there anyway.
“Take care of him.”
“With my life, Duff. I’ll make sure he stays strong and grows. I’ll take care of him and he’ll never be alone.”
Duff’s lips pursed and his brows bunched. “I thought maybe he would find a woman, then he didn’t, and I prayed he would just find someone. When he brought you here, I wasn’t for it. But, Ryan, I couldn’t have asked for a better man to be my son’s companion for the rest of his life.”
“Thank you.”
Duff reached out and took his hand. “I feel like you’re a son too. Really, I do feel like you’re my child.”
Ryan sniffed and fought the tears. “I love you, Duff. This place, you welcoming me here, it means a lot.”
The door opened and Davis stepped in. He’d taken a sh
ower and his hair was still wet. His gaze fell on Ryan and his lips curved up a little before the worried look took over. Davis moved to the bed and sat next to Duff.
“I love you, son,” Duff choked out.
“I love you too, Dad.
“Will you please go back to the doctor?” Davis asked.
Duff’s eyes narrowed before he gave a quick nod. “I will. You be nice to this young man. He’s a keeper.”
Davis chuckled and reached for Ryan. He stood and brushed his lips over Davis’ before hugging Duff. “I’m going to give you two time to talk. I’ll be in the kitchen getting something ready for dinner. Duff, if you like, we can bring a tray in here for you.”
“And miss everyone giving Davis the stink eye for behaving so badly, not on your life.”
Ryan chuckled and Davis dipped his head. The guys would give him a hard time. It had already started with Zander. Maybe Davis needed someone like Zander to help him work through things. He and Davis had come at the same time and Duff was here, so they hadn’t needed to bond with the other guys. They were friends, but maybe Davis needed a deep relationship with Zander to help him get through the stress.
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll have something cooking.” Ryan left the room and found the kitchen full. Everyone was busy getting dinner ready. “Thank you, guys, for getting started.”
“You were busy,” Grant said.
“Yeah.” He didn’t know what else to say. Davis had blown up at him and made everyone uncomfortable.
“You okay?” Grant asked.
“I am. We talked. He’s dealing with a lot.”
Grant’s lips twisted and he sighed heavily. Marshal came up beside him and began speaking. “We know life is stressful for him. He needs to get his attitude settled before we go into France.”
“I agree,” Davis said as he stepped into the room. “What I did was uncalled for. I’m sorry you all had to witness that side of me. I try to keep it under wraps, but I failed.”
Zander came over and placed his hand on Davis’ shoulder. “You and me are going to be spending more time together. Tomorrow morning, let’s have a meeting, say eight?”
“Yes, sir. I’ll be there,” Davis said.
“Awesome.”
Ryan felt better. Zander had changed, grown, matured, and was developing into a great leader. At Wild Bluff, life was difficult because they had to make life and death decisions, but having leaders like Grant, Marshal, and now Zander made it better.
Duff shuffled into the kitchen and Grant went to him, helping him find a chair. The food was almost ready to eat and smelled great. His stomach rumbled and Billy, who was standing beside him, chuckled. He sighed, glad the guys were being understanding. They weren’t going to be assholes about Davis being a jerk. Their lives were stressful, and Duff being ridiculous about going to the doctor had them all worried. Davis flying off the handle had been uncharacteristic.
Matthew came in and put the weather on the TV screen in the den and the one in the kitchen. Worry lines creased his forehead as he stared at the screen.
“They’re getting hammered. I haven’t heard from them. What should we do?” The panic in Matthew’s voice made him freeze. The rest of the guys turned to look at Grant.
“We wait,” Duff said.
“This sucks.” Matthew stared at the TV as he rubbed his chin.
Ryan moved closer and put his hand on Matthew’s shoulder. “Mike is resourceful. He’ll be good. They’ll stick together and stay safe.”
Matthew may have nodded in agreement but worry still shown on his face. Ryan was worried too. He didn’t like having the men so far away with no contact. At least they weren’t walking into a hostage situation or trying to find a good angle to take a shot. This was the best mission for learning how to deal with weird weather problems. It sucked they couldn’t get to them easily, but both Tanner and Mike were capable of dealing with the situation.
Chapter Eight
Billy kicked off his boots and Tucker came over, sitting next to him. He pushed at Billy and started rubbing his back.
“Feels good.” Billy turned more, making it easier for Tucker to massage him.
“Davis is upset.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“I’ve got to say that if you talked to me like he talked to Ryan, I’d be pissed.”
Billy glanced over his shoulder. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do in Davis’ situation. It’s easy to say he was in the wrong, and I guess he was, but my goodness, Duff is being an asshole. He almost fell down and Davis just wanted him to head to the doctor.”
“Yeah, I can see where Duff’s lack willingness to go to the doctor would make him upset. It was bad though.”
“I know, but Ryan is a good guy and Davis, even though he flew off the handle and yelled like that, he’s good too. The pressure on him is magnified. He’s upset and it’s showing.”
Tucker pushed at him again, getting him to turn around. “It is. I wonder if there is anything we can do to help.”
“Take care of tasks on the ranch. Zander and I are keeping up with everything. Any huge tasks, like chopping trees or painting, are on hold. More building supplies, like the crown molding, will come in, and I guess I’ll do some more work on the house. There’s not much left. I need to paint a few walls. The flooring comes in next week. They’ll be set to move in probably next month. I’m not going to go crazy out there and finish it, but it’s so close.”
Billy rolled his shoulders and Tucker rubbed lower before tugging at his shirt. Tucker’s hands felt amazing on his back. The love he felt for this man grew each day. It wasn’t just the back rubs or the sweet things he did, it was everything.
He sighed when Tucker reached around and started massaging the front of his chest. Tucker slid his hands lower and he moaned as he leaned back, adjusting his hips. He didn’t complain when Tucker reached lower and unbuttoned his pants. This type of massage was magic. It took his stress away, leaving him calm.
Tucker reached into his underwear and found his cock, freeing it. He closed his eyes, allowing Tucker to lead. There was no rush and he enjoyed the ways Tucker loved him.
“Will you fuck me?” Tucker’s whispered words sent a thrill through him. He stood up and took Tucker’s hand, pulling him to standing. His heart squeezed as he thought about how good Tucker was to him. His man brought him food, drinks, washed his clothes, cleaned their room. No doubt he had the best guy in the world. He should do more for Tucker.
A knock sounded on their door and Billy jerked back, his nostrils flaring as surprise hit him.
“What?” he yelled.
“It’s Ryan, we need Tucker to fly us to Colorado Springs.”
Billy buttoned his pants and tugged open the door. The desperation in Ryan’s eyes cut through the haze of desire he’d been operating under.
“Is he in his room?” Billy headed down the hall, not waiting for an answer.
“No, the den,” Ryan called out.
He heard Tucker say something to Ryan, but he was focused on getting to the den to see if he could do something. Davis was beside Duff holding his hand. Zander was on the other side doing chest compressions.
His gut clenched as a wave of hopelessness hit him. He wasn’t ready to lose Duff. Marshal rushed in with the AED. Zander helped him affix the pads. They’d been through this already and it wouldn’t be good. He felt someone beside him and reached for Ryan as they got a heartbeat on the machine. He breathed out a sigh of relief. Grant brought over the oxygen tank and they carried Duff out to the waiting helicopter Tucker had already started.
This sucked, and he hated this. Hated how it made him feel. He was angry at Duff for not going to the doctor earlier today. Why hadn’t he stepped in instead of being angry about Davis yelling at Ryan?
Billy watched his lover whisk Duff away. Hell, he was scared. Ryan and Davis had gone with Duff, and everyone else was staying at the ranch because they had work to do. They still hadn’t heard from Tanner and Mike.
The storm was bad, and they might need backup. The operation in France was moving along slowly and they wouldn’t need to move on it anytime soon, but they had to keep an eye on the situation. Worry filled him, and he felt totally lost. It was one of the worst feelings he’d ever had.
He didn’t want to be with anyone else, so he went to his bathroom and showered before stretching out. Three hours later he heard the helicopter and got up. It looked like no one else was sleeping either as they crowded on the porch, waiting for Tucker. A few of the guys went out to help secure the helicopter. It didn’t take long and they all went in, but no one spoke.
“So?” Billy asked, breaking the silence.
Tucker blew out a breath and wiped his face. “He’s still alive. They want to open him up, but I’m not sure if they will. They said he may not be strong enough. He hit his head when he dropped. It’s bad. This is worse than last time. I didn’t stick around, but a few options were thrown out. They may do a bypass, maybe something else. The doctor is going to keep his eye on Duff. Guys, he may not make it.”
“Shit. I pray he does,” Marshal said.
“How are Ryan and Davis doing?”
Tucker shrugged. “Shitty, but good.
Billy reached for Tucker and pulled him into a hug. “We’re going to bed. We can decide in the morning who drives up.”
“Sure,” Grant said. “I suggest we all get some sleep. We’re going to need it. We shouldn’t tell Tanner and Mike when they check in. They don’t need the added worry of Duff being ill.”
“Got it,” Matthew said.
Billy led Tucker into their room and stripped him before leading him to the bathroom. They both showered quickly before brushing their teeth and dropping into bed. It was going to be a long couple of days. If they didn’t get in contact with Mike and Tanner soon, someone would have to go search for them. The situation was all sorts of fucked up with the weather not cooperating.
Earlier when he’d stretched out, he’d been anxious. Worry still filled him, but he had his man by his side now. His heartbeat was slower, his thoughts had calmed. He sighed, happy to have Tucker home. He couldn’t imagine a life without him. Duff had him worried so he moved closer to Tucker. The feel of his lover’s chest under his palm relaxed him even more as he drifted off. He kept waking and each time, he prayed they received a miracle and Duff made it through the night.