by Johanna Maas
She thought of her life of only a few days before and surely now recognized the absurdity of those fears at that time. For had she known or had any premonition of this day or of the situation she now found herself in, she never would have agreed to her new life with such a small amount of consideration. Had she had any kind of understanding of what she knew now, she would have gladly accepted her isolated fate. She conceded that living the rest of her days with her parents in their loving, safe and warm home was so preferred to what she had now.
As she tried to calm her feelings of desolation, she looked around the room at the lovely furnishings that would have surely appeased many a girl and was obviously very important to her new lord. But Kaye was not impressed nor had the presence of mind to enjoy any of it, for the distain of her new husband, the coldness of the keep and the aloofness of this room could not make up for any gladness that such luxury could afford. She felt no warmth, only a vast emptiness and a barrenness that not only resided within these walls, but now threatened to occupy permanently, her heart.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Just a few hours into the evening and after the darkness had fully descended upon the land surrounding the Hann holdings, Kaye lay upon the bed still wide awake and still fully clothed. She heard a slight knock upon her door immediately followed by the scraping of a key in the lock. Without speaking and with a sure fear building within, she turned slightly as the door opened and her husband strode in carrying a small taper to light his way. The candle flickered wildly as Lord Hann closed the door loudly behind him, throwing the lock as he stumbled slightly backwards and was brought up by the wooden slats at his back.
For long moments he stood within her room holding the feeble light of the candle, just staring at her still form across the darkened room. He gazed at her thoughtfully, a glaze to his eyes and a slight redness to his cheeks. For several moments he simply stood leaning into the door with a strange look in his eyes.
Unspeaking, he pushed himself from the entryway and staggered slightly as he crossed the room to stand in front of Kaye who was still lying motionless upon the bed. He smiled lopsidedly down at her as he placed the candle within a holder that was resting upon the side table. Slowly he returned his gaze to her as he stood before her next to the bed.
Kaye could smell the stench of the wine upon his breath, knowing that this husband of hers was obviously well into his cups. This thought had frightened her most assuredly but she also conceded that she had vowed to love, honor and obey this man. He was now her husband and she had sworn before all to place her welfare into his hands. With a fear upon her heart and threatening to consume her, she laid motionless upon the bed for the unknowing as she waited apprehensively for his next move.
With a sure disgust, she realized only too late his intentions and was unable to react quickly enough and move away from him. He leaned forward and sat heavily upon the side of the bed as he moved his hand forcefully to her body and roughly groped at her breast. He pushed at her further as he moved her fully into the soft mattress as she tried to back away from his grasp. His rough ministrations pained her both physically and emotionally as they brought back the horrific memories of the black men from earlier that afternoon.
He continued to grab at her as he leaned over her body and attempted to cover her mouth with his. As he did so, he sent wet kisses sloppily across her face as she attempted to move away from him and prevent him from capturing her lips. Her breath hitched wildly in her throat in fear as the tears began to fill her eyes and fall unheeded down her cheeks as her husband commenced with his sordid attentions.
She sadly cried both inwardly and outwardly, for she recognized that this was not love and this was not respect for what he was doing was no better then what had happened to her earlier by her assailant. Except she had to sorrowfully admit, she was now this one's lawfully wedded wife. And with that realization, she forlornly admitted came his right to do whatever he wished with her and 'twas her duty to allow it.
He eventually captured her mouth with his as he pressed firmly into her as he used his weight against her slight build to render her immobile. He held her tightly to the bed as he continued to grope at her breasts and move his mouth fully over hers. For long minutes she tried to fight him as his assault continued. When all of her strength was decisively gone and when her will had been fully broken, she stopped all her movements. With a saddened and empty heart, she laid quite stilled upon the bed as she stared straight ahead. She lay now emotionless with tears flowing down her cheeks unheeded.
Without preamble, Lord Hann groaned slightly and rolled from his new wife as he sat now upon the side of the bed with his back to her. He remained quiet and unmoving for long moments, his shoulders rising and falling heavily with each breath that he took. Finally, he pushed himself upwards and moved awkwardly across the room and exited the chamber unceremoniously without looking back.
Kaye stared unemotionally into the darkness as her body sickened and was repulsed as the door closed tightly in his wake. She listened miserably as the key grated loudly within the lock once again sealing her within her chamber. The ominous noise confirmed once more for her the bleakness of her plight, the desolation of her fate and the horror of the duty and life that was now hers.
CHAPTER NINE
Kaye laid upon the bed, her gown covering her slight frame with no feeling and no emotion flowing through her body as the sky turned from black to lighter shades of gray. The day was gradually and methodically beginning to waken the lands around her and with it brought a renewed sense of foreboding and fear. She had not slept and had simply laid upon the bed, consumed by her loneliness and desolation with a coldness now residing heavily upon her heart.
As the early morning light began to illuminate her room, she heard a slight knock as a key grated once again within the lock. Without moving, Kaye's heart began to race in panic as she thought of her last visitor and watched the handle ever so gently begin to turn and the door silently begin to open. A slight sigh of relief escaped her body as she noted that it was not her husband but the same servant that had shown her to her room the previous evening.
In a soft voice the old woman said, "Good morn, milady."
Kaye continued to lay upon the bed with a coldness in her heart. She remained motionless as she watched the woman through her lowered lashes progress across the room. Unwilling to rise and too forlorn to respond or even to care, she simply watched her actions silently.
When no movement was had from the fair lady, the serving woman stated quietly, "The lord expects all to rise and break their fast together in the great hall. You must be ready within the half hour and are required to be present."
Kaye still made no move to rise nor responded to her appeal, the mere mention of her husband and lord bringing back a renewed sense of despondency and one of dread. The elderly servant paused as she stared at the motionless woman with a pleading note now lacing her voice.
"Please milady, I implore you. For if you do not comply I will be sure to have to succumb to his wrath. The Lord Hann runs a very strict household and no one dares cross him without sure retribution!"
Kaye continued to watch the serving woman closely from across the room as she caught the woman's eye in an attempt to confirm the validity of her statement. As Kaye gazed intently upon her, she noticed a slight look of fear and a small bit of apprehension as the truth was written clearly upon her face.
With a grave sigh and an even heavier heart, Kaye knew she would concede for she did not wish to be the reason for anyone else's pain even in her desolate state. She knew she could not bear that. So begrudgingly, she rose from the bed as she unemotionally accepted the assistance of the servant.
Within a short time and with no words spoken, she had rinsed the sleep away from her face and donned a new gown as she allowed her hair to be brushed into gleaming tresses that floated gracefully down her back. When all had been prepared, she then reluctantly followed the elderly woman down the long hallway and desce
nded the stairs into the lively great hall below.
Kaye looked down in silent surprise at the flurry of activity within the chamber as it began to fill with people as the sun began to rise above the distant horizon. Many men and women, all smartly dressed and prepared for the day, began seating themselves around the various tables spread throughout the hall. Kaye looked over the expanse of the great room noting that the high head table was already full, save for the single chair between Lord Hann and his son.
The elderly servant pointed towards the vacant spot above as she nodded in her direction as she left Kaye standing alone at the edge of the crowded room. With a heavy sigh and a fright within, she turned towards what she now assumed to be her appointed place. Kaye walked with as much confidence as she could gather through the full chamber and up to the grand table above. Without looking at anyone seated around her, she took the empty place located between the two Hann men, her trained English face quite emotionless.
Kaye sat at the table quietly as she looked down upon the elegant plate as it was set before her, as various trays were laid out before them by the servants scurrying about. Platters were heavily laden containing breads and cheeses and dainty pastries, with tiny bowls of mashed fruits to spread upon the fare were generously included.
As she unemotionally perused what was laid out before her, Lord Hann leaned over to her and said cordially in her ear, "Milady, I would like to officially introduce you to my son, Lord Alden." With his hand he gestured to the man sitting directly to her right, the same one she had seen when she first arrived.
She was both appalled and stunned for his words and his demeanor, for he acted as if she were some special guest and the horrendous events of the last day and previous evening had never occurred. Kaye stared at him sideways as she noted his soft smiling face and anxious eyes as they looked almost considerately upon her. With a sickness upon her person she wonder how he could be so nonchalant…
Drawing deep from her polite English training as a lady, she turned to the younger lord and responded politely yet unemotionally, "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, milord."
The lord's son looked at her with a slight smile upon his face and nodded as he formally acknowledged her presence. His gaze lingered upon her face only for a few moments then slipped as it had the previous evening and blatantly down to her full breasts. For long moments he silently scrutinized her as his eyes bore into her as he rudely made his unwanted appraisal.
Disgustedly, Kaye removed her eyes from his face and turned away from his discerning stare as she silently choked back her revulsion as the color rose upon her cheeks from his blatant evaluation of her body. She moved her gaze and looked out over the hall, focusing on its occupants as she attempted to erase the unease and trepidation of his presence from her mind.
The hall was nearly filled for the meal and contained mostly men, but a goodly share of women were also present. The occupant's smart clothes and refined manners spoke volumes regarding the formalness of this keep and the ceremonial objectives of this family. Their voices smoothly mixed and filled the great chamber with a gentle din as they spoke softly as they too, were served the meal to break their fast.
As Kaye's gaze moved over the room with the fine English subjects present, several of those from the floor tables stared up her boldly. They were all quite curious of their new lady for word had spread quickly of her abrupt arrival. Their lord's new wife and the new mistress of the keep was now publicly displayed before all.
As those in attendance finished their fare, the hall began to quietly empty as the people presumably began to go about their duties for the day and a sudden hush permeated the chamber. Lord Hann turned abruptly towards Kaye with the same emotion as he had when they graced the head table during her sister's wedding reception. He began to speak with a most exuberant tone to his voice. A slight and even almost amiable smile came across his lips as he spoke.
"I am most pleased that you graced our table this morning with your presence, for if you had not I would have missed the pleasure of your company for quite some time!"
Kaye could only stare at him, not quite knowing what to say or how to react to his statement. He was addressing her as if the horrible events of the previous day or evening had never occurred. He displayed a cordiality as if he actually cared for her welfare or desired her as a wife. Kaye recognized entirely that it was he who was so outwardly calm with the facade so clearly put upon. It saddened and sickened her so for it was quite obvious that appearances were what most concerned him more then the true welfare of his new wife.
He continued gaily on, "I am away this very morning for London my dear, for I have some estate business that needs my immediate attention. You may not realize this, but the king relies on us here in the north greatly to watch his borders and relay any type of communications that are important to the welfare of England!"
Kaye gazed back at her lord, unsure of how to respond so she simply muttered, "And I am to stay here, milord?"
"Why yes! Whatever would you be doing in London? I will be away for these three weeks time or a month at the very most."
She simply smiled as he began to babble on about the obvious difficulties of travel and the boring business he had to attend to and how he just would not have time to bother with entertaining her. She would be much more satisfied and comfortable here in her new home for she would be quite occupied with settling herself in and learning of its ways.
Kaye considered her role in this new household and if the last evening were any indication, she was to assume she had no real place in it. For it already ran quite smartly and she understood quite knowingly that very regimented it was to be. So her mind began to wander and wondered of what occupations she could content herself with for the whole of her days. She knew quite well that she could not just sit idly about, for her unoccupied mind would surely get the better of her.
As she sat contemplating her plight, she boldly interjected at one point when her husband had stopped to take a breath and hoped he would at least hear her out. With a most kindly voice she said, "Milord, I would like to make a small request if it pleases you."
She looked up at him inquiringly placing what she hoped was a pleasing smile upon her face and when he did not speak she hastily went on, "I was wondering if it would be possible for me to retain one of the horses that you, ah, acquired yesterday?"
He looked at her with a frown beginning to crease his brow for he did not understand why someone such as she would want to bother with a beast such as those.
Kaye hurriedly went on, "You see, milord, that nag that I rode here on is so near its infirmary and if I am ever to accompany you outside of this estate in the future, I would like to be able to keep up with the pace of your own grand steed. I wish nothing more then for you to be proud of your wife and the mount that she sits. Unless, of course, you have already entitled them to another."
"No, no, I have not yet done so." He tipped his head slightly as he looked deeply at his new wife and considered her request. After a few moments he responded assuredly.
"Yes, yes, I do see the need for this. I will speak to the stable master on my way out and will instruct him accordingly."
With those words spoken, he smiled weakly at her and abruptly stood and left the table as he quickly moved up the stairs to his apartments above. She watched his retreating back, a relief for his absence and a sadness flooding through her once again for her plight.
"Good job, milady!"
Kaye had not realized that with her husband now gone from the great chamber, that left her completely alone at the head table save for the young Lord Alden. He was still sitting next to her and obviously listening in on what she had assumed to be her private request. She looked sideways at the man, not understanding his meaning and concerned for his tone until he continued.
"Thinking you can ask for and get anything your little heart desires? Think again, milady! You may have won this small appeal of yours, but I promise you it will be y
our last."
He stood most hastily and lifted his head high into the air as he moved away from the table. She stared with an ominous feeling rising within her breast as he sauntered across the hall and out of the front door of the keep.
Kaye was left quite alone with just a few of the servants cleaning the morning meal away, the Lord Alden's intimidating warning echoing in her head as her stomach unexpectedly threatened to fully divest itself of the morning meal she had just consumed.
CHAPTER TEN
The next few days upon the Hann estates were very quiet for the noble lord had left the manor on his journey for London. Kaye mostly found herself without occupation as she decided to take the opportunity to learn as much as she could about the happenings and running of the Hann keep from her elderly servant. As the serving maid entered her room, Kaye began to inquire.
"May I please ask your name?"
The startled serving woman looked at her for long moments with a slight perplexed expression crossing her features and a fearful look in her eyes.
"Milady, have I done something that might offend you?"
Kaye smiled slightly for she only wished to relieve the older woman's fears.
"I simply would like to know for it is only fitting that I address you by your given name. Please do not be afraid of me for I seek only the means to get to know you better."
The servant stared at her with a skeptical look in her eye for no one had ever within the Hann keep inquired to someone in her position for such a thing. So she hesitantly and meekly replied, "It is Agnes, milady."