by Bridget Lang
“No – I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have happened.” Heather fought to reclaim her sanity, her head spinning from the intensity of the kiss, and the visceral reaction of Tanner just now. What had just happened? She turned and left without looking back at him. This time Tanner didn’t stop her.
Chapter twelve
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my lucky night. Two Holt boys in one room.” Kellie Lane drawled, pushing her cleavage up on the bar and smiling seductively at Tanner. “What can I do you for?”
“Just a beer thanks, Kellie.” Tanner replied, trying to keep his response polite. After the kiss with Heather he’d felt restless and irritable, so had come to Jake’s Place – the seediest bar in Jackson Hole, where his brother would be the musical act tonight.
“Your brother’s out back,” she continued as she flipped the lid off the bottle, “want me to fetch him?”
“Nope. I’ll wait. Thanks.” Tanner knew his brother got nervous before a show, any show – no matter if it was the same tired bar he’d played at for the last five years.
He didn’t have to wait long. His brother’s hulking figure could be seen weaving his way through the small tables that populated the barroom. He was roughly the same size as Tanner, but his features were lighter; blonde hair, blue eyes and most people commented that he had a slightly more cheerful and child-like countenance compared to Tanner, who was the elder of the two.
“Nice surprise to see you here brother, what’s the occasion?” Wyatt Holt grinned, and came to sit down on the adjacent bar stool.
“Advice.” Tanner deadpanned.
His brother laughed loudly, “Tanner Holt coming to me for advice? We’re in dire straits, people.”
“You don’t need advice, Tanner, you need a good woman.” Kellie interrupted, pushing a double whisky Wyatt’s way. She winked at Tanner and then sashayed away to serve another customer.
“My problem exactly,” Tanner muttered under his breath.
“You got women trouble?” asked Wyatt, “you’ve come to the right place.” He gestured around the bar. There were quite a few women gathered together at various tables, all glancing quite obviously over at the two men.
“Not that kind of trouble.” Tanner took a sip of beer. It was cold and refreshing, and he felt himself start to relax. He’d come to Jake’s Place in the past to pick up women, it was easy – there were plenty of women who’d happily keep him company for a night and then disappear before morning. It was the ones that wanted more who occasionally caused him headaches: Kellie Lane was one such woman.
“Shall we take a seat?” Tanner asked his brother, aware that Kellie could easily eavesdrop on their conversation.
“Sure.” Wyatt looked sidelong at his brother. He’d never seen Tanner like this. Well, he amended, apart from the night that he’d discovered Chloe’s mother-to-be at his door.
Tanner took a long sip of his beer. “I think I’ve found a wife.” Someone on the makeshift stage dropped the cymbals of a drum set; they clattered to the floor making an ungodly racket. Tanner smirked. It perfectly exemplified his feelings.
“Wife? Whoa. That’s big, bro.” Wyatt raised his eyebrows, waiting for more details.
“Yeah. Feels big.” Tanner ran his hands through his hair, and stared at the beer mat. “Chloe actually sent off for her – through one of those mail order bride things.”
“What? She’s ten. How in tarnation’d she do that?” Wyatt exclaimed.
“Internet. I’m putting in a child lock or something on that thing next week. Anyway, a woman came – Heather. I saw her just the once, and, I dunno. Something… happened.” He glanced up at his brother’s worried face, “I know it makes no sense, but it was instantaneous. I had no control.”
His brother looked at him with understanding. Wyatt had never met a woman who could captivate him like that, but he had heard stories.
“Have you thought about telling her?” Wyatt tentatively suggested.
“Are you kidding? Wyatt, I don’t know what to say. Or do. It seems I keep saying and doing the wrong thing. I mean, it’s not like we had the best example of a loving relationship between a husband and wife while we were growing up.”
“But if she’s the one, then it won’t matter.” Wyatt argued.
“Where you hear that?” retorted Tanner.
“I’ve thought about it, that’s all. What makes you so sure this girl’s ‘the one’ as you put it?” Wyatt had been searching for years for the right woman. Tanner was giving him hope. He knew that he and Tanner were the loneliest guys in Jackson Hole – and at least Tanner had Chloe. He had no one. Just a horrible secret, a fledging career, and an expensive drinking habit.
“If you met her you’d realize. She’s amazing – beautiful, curvy, her hair…She’s incredible with Chloe too. That girl’s eyes light up whenever she’s around – I haven’t seen anything like it.” Tanner could have gone on all night, but he stopped on seeing the longing in his brother’s eyes.
“Sounds like you struck gold, brother – don’t let you be the problem.” Wyatt drained his whisky and motioned to Kellie at the bar to bring him another.
“Easier said than done. I don’t know how to handle this at all.” Tanner looked imploring at his brother, half hoping that he’d have the answers.
“Well,” Wyatt was aware he wasn’t remotely an expert, but tried to think of something constructive to say, “have you been nice – you know, kind and gentlemanly?”
“I don’t think so, not really. I was just kind of shocked, and I don’t really know what to say to her. We kissed.” He drained the last of his beer, and stared down the empty bottleneck.
“That’s a start. What happened after?”
“I came here.” Tanner replied shortly.
“You just left?” Wyatt asked disbelievingly, “what kind of idiot move is that?”
“I got scared. I never felt anything like that before.” Tanner growled back in reply.
“She doesn’t know that!”
“Lordy, Wyatt, I was looking for advice – not a hard time.” Tanner felt totally lost, he was well and truly out of his depth.
His and Wyatt’s upbringing had been a far cry from ideal, and he supposed this is when that kind of thing showed. When you had to man up and tell a woman how you felt about her, when you had to trust that the two of you collided for a reason, and that you had to grab the chance, while you could.
“I’m sorry. Truth is, I don’t know anything about this stuff. But I’d tell her how you really feel. Otherwise you haven’t got a chance, brother.” Wyatt smiled as Kellie approached with a drinks tray.
“Bought you a whisky and a beer,” Kellie winked at Tanner and he nodded his thanks in return. “I was thinking you and me, we should do something later this week – I got nights off.”
“Err, sure.” Tanner kicked himself as the words came out, and tried to call Kellie back to tell her that he was busy on the ranch this week, but she’d already left.
“Smooth, brother,” quipped Wyatt.
“Shut it. She’ll forget.” Tanner replied, only half believing himself.
“I’d happily take that bullet for you.” Wyatt laughed loudly at his own joke.
“Really - Kellie?” Tanner raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah, really. I haven’t got a hope of meeting a good woman. I got nothing waiting for me but lonely days, empty nights, and emptier bottles. I’m not complaining,” he amended, “it’s just the truth of it. And I could do worse than Kellie.” He drowned his second whisky. “You might want to think about that, before you freeze out that woman of yours.”
Wyatt stood up and left the table, slapping his brother on the back and slinging a leather jacket over his shoulder. Tanner watched him go.
Chapter thirteen
Heather sat luxuriating in the warm breeze, watching a hawk swoop, dip and soar across the sky as if putting on a performance for the diners. She was seated on the patio of The Rusty Parrot Lodge, Jackson Hole’s one
and only four-star restaurant. The view was breathtakingly beautiful; the patio looked out onto the Grand Teton mountain range, the snowy peaks glittering in the sun which was rapidly making its descent as the evening approached.
Tanner had gone to speak to the chef, an old friend of his. Heather had been amazed at how many people he knew in Jackson Hole, everywhere they went he was greeted enthusiastically – many going out of their way to show him fresh produce at the various groceries they’d past, new stock at the hunting store, or mothers who wanted to show-off their new born babies and enquire after Chloe. Tanner was always patient and warm in these exchanges, and Heather was pleasantly surprised to see him so relaxed and at ease.
When she’d woken up this morning she’d come downstairs to discover a different man from the one she kissed last night. She’d been dreading seeing him again, so embarrassed about the kiss they’d shared, and his swift exit from the house straight after. She needn’t have worried; he had been making pancakes for her and Chloe when she saw him, and he treated her with warmth and grace. He’d asked her if she wanted to come and see the town with him, she’d hesitated but ultimately complied when Chloe had joined in and insisted that she went. It was only later, when Tanner had left the room, and Josiah came in asking where Tanner was because they had a busy day ahead, did she realize that he was going out of his way to make her feel at home. Whatever she felt for him, and whatever he didn’t feel for her, she appreciated the sacrifice and happily climbed into his Chevy Silverado pick-up truck, ready to spend the day in his company.
“Okay, so – the chef’s doing something special for us, no idea what it’s going to be, but I know it’s going to be good.” Tanner smiled down at her, and took his seat.
“Great. How do you know him?” she enquired, politely. Heather suddenly felt nervous; they had spent the entire day in one another’s company, but it had been full of sightseeing and activity. Now it was just the two of them, and Heather couldn’t help but notice once again how broad his chest was, how ripped his arms were in the t-shirt he wore, and how attracted she was to him.
“Actually, he tried to teach me how to cook.” Tanner grinned, “not that any of it stuck.”
“What? You had a chef teach you, and you still didn’t learn anything?” Heather had to laugh, “okay – there’s really no help for you, Tanner Holt.”
The atmosphere changed as she finished her words. Tanner looked at her intently, his eyes soft on hers, and she felt her stomach flip over in response.
“I like the way my name sounds on your lips.” He leaned forward and with his thumb he gently skated her bottom lip. Slowly removing his hand, he leaned back in his chair again, watching her. Heather blushed and looked down at her napkin and cutlery, trying to hide a small smile spreading across her face.
On sensing her obvious discomfort, Tanner changed tack. “How do you like Jackson Hole so far?”
“I love it!” Heather exclaimed, “It’s so beautiful, so wild and peaceful all at the same time. You’re so lucky to live here. Is it where you grew up?”
The spark that had been in Tanner’s eyes dimmed, and there was a pause before he responded. “No. I grew up in Wilkes, my brother and I moved here a while ago.”
Heather perceptively realized that she should drop the subject, but she was amazed there had been no mention of a brother, especially considering his brother lived in Jackson Hole.
“Are you close with him, your brother?” she asked tentatively.
“Yeah, we’re close. I saw him last night.”
The night after they’d kissed. She’d wondered where he’d gone, but it certainly hadn’t been her place to ask.
“Oh.” She could feel herself reddening.
“He plays at a bar in town – he’s good. Talented guy.” Tanner tried to put her back at ease, he knew family was going to come up, he just never felt prepared to talk too much about them.
“Does he get along with Chloe?” Heather asked, feeling that this would be more comfortable territory. She was right, Tanner imperceptibly relaxed.
“Yeah, she loves him. He doesn’t come around to the house too often, but they get along great when he does.”
A waiter arrived with a bottle of red wine and proceeded to fill up their glasses. Heather was glad for the drink; her nerves weren’t receding in the slightest.
“What about her mom? Where is she, if you don’t mind me asking?” Heather took a fortifying sip of the wine.
“No – I don’t. Sadly, she passed away. Chloe never met her – she died in childbirth.”
“I’m so sorry Tanner. That’s awful.” Heather felt a wave of compassion for the man, what a horrible thing to happen. It would explain why he’d never re-married. How could anyone ever recover from that kind of heartbreak? She could imagine the two of them, excited to start a family and raise it in that beautiful ranch. It also explained his reluctance to let the kiss continue last night; it may have been years since she passed away, but some people never let go – they held on forever. Her own father had done the same thing, unable to find comfort in the arms of another woman after her mother died.
“Yeah, Chloe’s found it difficult without a mom. Clearly.” He smiled at Heather, sharing the humor around her arrival. “What about you, what about your life in New York?”
Heather sighed, and smiled at Tanner. She honestly didn’t know where to begin. None of it seemed to paint her in a particularly attractive light.
“Well, I was engaged to a man. My father’s business partner. The relationship ended when my father passed away, a few months ago.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Tanner interjected.
“Thank you. Well, I guess there’s nothing much to say, really. Before I met Bertram – my ex-fiancé, I’d wanted to open a patisserie, but Bertram really needed someone to support him. I suppose in the same way my mother supported my father. Anyway, it wasn’t to be. I was at a loose end, so in a moment of madness I thought I’d try the bridal mail order and see where life led me. And here I am.” Heather took a gulp of wine this time, she sounded pathetic to her own ears. She couldn’t imagine what he thought of her. She smiled brightly, but when she met Tanner’s eyes, she just saw understanding, not pity.
“Sounds like you had to get back on your feet pretty quick. That must have been tough. You’re brave – it must have taken a lot of courage to get on that plane.” Tanner could see the hurt she was trying to hide, and his heart went out to her. It sounded like she’d given a lot to a man that had clearly been using her for the connections. Tanner hoped he never ran into the guy.
“Anyway, I’m glad I met you and Chloe, it’s been lovely getting to know you both.” Heather wanted to change the subject, and to her relief the food arrived. It smelt absolutely mouth-watering.
“Sweet pepper crab cakes, pheasant breast, bison short rips and Wagyu beef” announced the waiter, “the chef insisted you have a taste of the best dishes on the menu.” He smiled at the couple, “enjoy. And please let me know if I can get you anything else.”
“My goodness.” Heather surveyed the table. It was full of delectable dishes, the sweet aroma of roasted chestnuts, pine nuts and the various spices that flavored the meat filled her senses.
“I hope you’re hungry,” Tanner grinned at her, “I’m just warning you now, that I’m violently opposed to women that don’t have an appetite – so don’t leave me hanging.”
Heather laughed out loud, “There’s no chance of that. This all looks absolutely amazing.”
Tanner raised a glass, “a toast. To you, Heather Ayer, thank you for coming to our home.” They clinked glasses, and Heather met Tanner’s eyes across the table. She suddenly decided to put her reservations about Tanner aside, he might not entirely return her feeling of lust and desire, but he was a good and honest man. She could enjoy being in his company this evening; let her problems vanish off into the horizon, enjoy being on a patio with a drop dead gorgeous man, about to share a delicious meal.
&nbs
p; Chapter fourteen
They drove through the town in silence. The sunset had disappeared and the sky was washed in navy blue, the mountain pines appearing as black paper cut-out silhouettes. Heather had opened her window and the sweet air filled the car, making her feel drowsy and peaceful.
“Heather?” Tanner’s voice sounded strange. She glanced over at him, but he kept his eyes on the road. “I want you to stay.”
She didn’t respond. She didn’t really know what she wanted anymore, her original ideas of being a companion to Tanner had started to seem unrealistic given her constant and unrelenting attraction to him. He also seemed to blow hot and cold – and she really didn’t understand the dynamics of their relationship anymore. Maybe she could stay a few weeks and help him out for a bit, and then carry on trying to pick up the pieces of her life back in New York.
“I don’t know Tanner. It’s been lovely,” she hesitated, “but maybe it’s not the best idea.”
“I know this, our situation, is unconventional, but I think we could make it work. If we both wanted it to.” Tanner kept his eyes on the road, not daring to look over at Heather – he knew there was a big chance that he could lose her, and that was unthinkable. He knew he’d given her the initial impression that he didn’t want her around, and had spent the day and evening trying to subtly hint otherwise.
Heather looked over at him. Watching his profile in the dim light, she became aware of how manly and warm he seemed to her in that moment. And how much she longed to be curled up in his arms. Would it always be like this? Would she be happy to stay with him if she were to become a surrogate mother to Chloe, but without having anything other than a professional and distant relationship with Tanner? The best she could hope for would be friendship, and she wasn’t sure she could handle that. What if another woman came into the picture? What if he someday found a woman he had feelings for, then what? Heather would be nothing more than a ball and chain around his ankle.