by Luna, David
“Asher, hey, look at me. Come on, let me see those gorgeous eyes of yours. There you go. We don’t have to do that. You can wear it properly, all right? I’m clicking it into place. Maybe hold it out in front of you a bit so there isn’t so much pressure. It’s going to be okay.”
Oh my god, you’re such a pathetic freak. He got himself under control by the skin of his teeth and finally answered, “Thanks. I’m all right.”
“We’re gonna get you home and comfortable.”
He nodded, unable to do anything else. “Yeah, okay.”
He was in pain, he was a hair’s breadth away from losing his shit, and he was feeling sick to his stomach. But after Thornton put Asher’s address in his GPS, the man kept idle chatter going on the way to his place. He was grateful he didn’t have to respond because the longer he was in Thornton’s posh car, the less control he had over his mental and physical reactions to everything going on with him.
His head got foggy, and he found himself breathing harder as his heart kicked into hyperdrive. Jesus, he just wanted to cry. Humiliating himself wasn’t on his list of favorite things to do. And doing it in front of the only man he’d ever truly been attracted to was more than he could bear. He was positive he was going to have to ask Thornton to pull over so he could be sick when he heard the man say, “We’re here. Let’s get you—”
Asher fumbled with the seat belt and pushed the door open, ribs protesting and pain lancing through his chest as he leaned out of the passenger door and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the pavement below, thankfully avoiding desecrating Thornton’s car.
Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god, oh, god, oh, god.
A sob escaped before he could hold it back, and he swiped at his mouth with the sleeve of the sweatshirt that wasn’t even his. He was trapped in a nightmare. Had to be. But as a hand rubbed his back and gently pried his own away from the door handle he’d been gripping like a lifeline, he realized it was reality.
“Jesus, Asher. God, I’m so sorry. Were you in that much pain? Shit. I really don’t feel comfortable leaving you here alone. You need help. You can’t—”
“No!” Shaking his head, he squeezed his eyes shut, sending the last of his tears down his cheeks. “No. I’ll be fine. I just want to be in my own place. I can’t be in the car. I can’t… Don’t make me be in the car.”
“Fuck, Ash—
“Please…” His breath was heaving now, and he was feeling lightheaded. Jesus, he couldn’t remember feeling so ashamed and humiliated in his life.
“Shhh, shh. Okay. It’s okay. Let’s get you inside, all right? We’ll get you settled, and you’ll feel much better.”
There was no helping it. Anything he did, every move he made hurt. But if he could put on the performance of his life and convince Thornton he was fine on his own, he’d be able to break down in peace once Thornton was on his way home. He could do it. He knew he could.
Mind over fucking matter. He made his way to his apartment with a lot of help from Thornton, grateful the police officer had dropped his keys off at the hospital. He eventually found himself propped up in bed with a mountain of pillows he didn’t even remember having, a glass of water on the side table next to him, and his cell phone finally plugged into his charger.
He was grateful for the help, but he needed the man to leave, all the while not wanting him to. But he couldn’t hold himself together any longer, and with every minute that went by, he felt like he might fly apart into a thousand pieces he knew he’d never be able to glue back together.
“I’m gonna let you rest. But if you need anything, I’ll be out in the living room getting some work done.”
“No. Thornton, I’m fine. You need to go home and get back to your own life. I’m sure Madi will come be with me if I need her, but I just want to sleep for now.”
“Asher—”
He met Thornton’s concerned eyes with as steady a gaze as he could muster. “Please. I just want to be alone.” Asher could see the battle waging in the older man’s eyes, see he was about to protest again, but Asher had to stop it. He could only hold himself together for so long and he’d humiliated himself enough for several lifetimes. “Thornton, thank you for all your help. I am so grateful to you for everything you’ve done for me the last several days. You have your own life to get back to, and I just want to sleep and try to recuperate on my own. When I wake up, I’ll call Madi.”
Thornton sighed but nodded. “I’d like you to call me every couple of hours until you go to bed. I know I’m being overly cautious, but please humor an old man. I don’t think you should be left alone, but I’ll honor your wishes if you make those calls.”
Finally, he gave in, unable to say no in the face of those worried eyes. “I’ll call. I promise.”
Thornton finally acquiesced, and he gave the older man his phone number so he could text Asher and he’d have his number for later. When he heard his front door close behind Thornton, he let the tears he’d held at bay slip down his cheeks. He felt helpless, and the pain he felt from head to toe was so much more than he thought he could handle. But his tears were short-lived, and his body decided they weren’t what he needed as he drifted off before he even realized it was happening.
Chapter Six
Thornton
Thornton glanced at his watch and cursed himself six ways from Sunday for leaving Asher home alone. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have a choice. He was asked to leave, so he did. That didn’t mean he felt good about it. As soon as he’d closed the door, it had locked from the inside. He’d tried to open it again, knowing it a fruitless endeavor. And he wasn’t about to knock until the poor boy had to come to the door to let him in.
He didn’t think Asher’s body could take much more, and that was all the more reason to be upset with himself for leaving. He’d been stuck between a rock and a hard place, which was why he’d been pacing the floor of his family room off and on for the last couple of hours, unable to focus on much of anything. He’d tried to work, he’d tried to watch TV, he’d even tried to pay bills, to no avail. As soon as he got into a rhythm, his mind would drift back to Asher’s pain-filled expression.
The phone rang in his back pocket, and he nearly fumbled the thing trying to answer it. His body relaxed as soon as he saw it was Asher. Nearly two hours and twenty minutes had passed since he’d left, and with every minute that went past the two hours he’d demanded from Asher, his stress levels increased exponentially. He knew, in the far reaches of his mind, he needed to calm the fuck down and allow Asher to take care of himself, but there was no turning off his Daddy side when he was so invested in someone.
He didn’t want the boy to know he’d been out of his mind with worry, so he forced a calm he didn’t feel. “Hey, Asher. Are you all right?”
Asher’s long pause ratcheted up his concern, but when he finally heard the boy’s sweet voice, his nerves calmed down a bit. “I’m okay. Sorry I’m late calling you. I just woke up.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad you were able to sleep. Is there anything you need? I’d be happy to bring you a late lunch or early dinner. I know you won’t be up for cooking, most likely.”
“No. I’m fine. I’m not really hungry yet.”
“All right. Well, let me know if you change your mind later. I’d be happy to stop by with anything you might be craving now that you’re free from hospital food.”
He heard a chuckle through the line, but it felt forced. And he couldn’t help thinking Asher’s voice sounded strained, like he was still in a lot of pain. “I have lots of freezer meals, so I’m set. Thank you.”
He nearly launched into Daddy speak, lecturing about the nutritional value of that type of food, but realized it would most likely not be welcome. “Well, I’d be happy to come by and keep you company later, so just let me know if you’d like that.”
“You’re being really nice. I’ll be fine, though. I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m a big boy and can take care of myself.”
His shoulders sagged, unable to think of any other reason Asher might need or want him to come check on him. “I know you can. It’s just a lot harder to do when you’re in so much pain, so please don’t feel bad about calling if you need my help. I want to be here for you.”
“I will. I’m going to see what’s on TV and maybe grab something to eat later. Do you still want me to call you every couple of hours?”
God, yes. “I do. I’ll worry otherwise.”
“Okay. Bye, Thornton.”
“Bye, Asher.”
The call he got from Asher around five-thirty that evening went much the same. He asked several times if he could drop by to see him, but Asher said no each time. He had to respect the boy for being able to put his foot down, but it pretty much sucked on Thornton’s end.
Surprisingly, he’d been able to get quite a bit of work done during the last half of the day. By eight, however, Thornton was losing his mind. He’d eaten dinner, cleaned up, fed his lazy pups—Beauty and Beast, the adorably enormous English mastiff puppies he’d gotten from the dog rescue and training facility he was in business with—and worked out. It had been two and a half hours since he’d heard from Asher, and he was at war with himself.
On one hand, he knew he was probably overreacting. The pain was probably making Asher tired, and he’d probably taken some more pain meds, so he knew the logical assumption was that he was sleeping. On the other hand, what if he wasn’t overreacting at all? What if Asher had hurt himself and needed help?
He waited another fifteen minutes and then he picked up his phone, opened his contacts, and dialed. The other line finally picked up, and he started talking before he heard any type of greeting. “How worried should I be that Asher hasn’t called me? He’s supposed to call me every couple of hours, but it’s been two hours and forty-five minutes.”
Syed, obviously having heard in his voice how worried he was, answered immediately. “How did he say he was doing the last time he called? He could be sleeping. If he’s on strong pain meds, and I hope to god they gave him some, they probably knocked him out. He’s a pretty small guy, so it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s what’s going on.”
“He said he was fine, but I could hear the strain in his voice. He keeps telling me he doesn’t need me to come over, and I know I should respect that, but I think it’s because he thinks he’s bothering me. I don’t think he’s telling me the truth. He said he’d call his best friend, Madi, if he needed help, but—”
“He doesn’t have anyone there to help him?”
“He told me he’d be fine, and he’d call Madi to come over if he needed her.”
“Have you called him?”
Fuck. “No. I’m worried sick, but he doesn’t seem to want to accept help from me, so I’ve been holding off, hoping he calls.”
“You need to call him, Thorn. He shouldn’t be alone right now. Hopefully, Madi is there with him, but call him just in case she’s not. Call me back when you’re done.”
He said a quick goodbye, feeling angry with himself for waiting to call and for leaving the boy to begin with. He dialed Asher’s number and listened to it ring. And ring. And ring. And ring, until it went to voicemail. He hung up and tried again. Same thing. One more time. Same thing.
Fuck.
Syed answered the phone before it was done ringing the first time. “He’s not answering. I called three times. Jesus, Sy.”
“Take a deep breath for a second. Keep your head in the game. Do you know Madi’s last name or a way to reach her?”
“Jesus. Yes. I have her number. He had to call her from my phone because his was dead. I’ll call you back.”
He hung up, found Madi’s number, and dialed. “Hello?”
“Madi, this is Thornton from the hospital—”
“Yeah, I remember. Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know. I was calling to see if you’re with Asher.”
The long pause had his heart nearly beating out of his chest. “No. Should I be?”
“Dammit. He said he was going to call you if he needed your help.”
“He won’t call. He doesn’t ask for help. I always have to force it on him. When did he get home?”
“I drove him home around lunchtime, and he said he was going to be fine and I should go home. That he’d call you if he needed to, but I made him promise to call me every couple hours just to be sure he was okay. He called twice since then, but it’s been nearly three hours, and I can’t reach him.”
“Shit, shit, shit. That boy—”
He heard a little voice say, “Mommy, you said shit!”
He would have chuckled if he wasn’t so worked up. “I know, baby. I’m sorry. I’ll put a dollar in the jar, okay? Thornton, let me try to call him and see if he answers. I’ll call you right back.”
They hung up, and he waited, but when she called less than a minute later, he knew it wasn’t good news. “He’s not answering.”
“Do you have a key?”
“Yeah. Let me just… Gigi, can you run and get your shoes and coat on?”
“But, Mama, I’m in my PJs.”
“I know, baby—”
“Madi, I can come to you and get the key. I don’t want you to—”
“No. I have to make sure he’s okay, too. Meet me there if you want, but I’m going regardless.”
“Okay, I’m leaving now. See you in a bit.”
He was out the door a minute later and turning on the rental car his insurance had arranged for him as he told his phone to call Syed. “Did you get ahold of him?”
“No. He never called Madi either. She called him, and he didn’t answer. She’s meeting me over there. Fuck, Sy, I’m worried sick.”
“I know. Thorn, he shouldn’t be left alone. And I’m sure he would have been told that in the hospital when he talked to his doctor before they released him. He’s going to need help with simple, everyday things. Getting dressed, brushing his teeth, showering, getting up from a chair or his bed—it’s all going to hurt.”
“I wasn’t there when the doctor talked to him, or I’d never have left him to begin with.”
“I know. Maybe his phone is on vibrate, and he’s sleeping through it. I know you’re thinking worst-case scenario, but you won’t know until you get there. Stay calm so you get there in one piece. You’re no good to the boy if you hurt yourself.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’m gonna let you go, but…”
“You call me if you need me.”
He let out the breath he’d been holding. “Thank you, Syed.”
“No need. Be safe.”
They hung up, and if he ignored the speed limit as he drove to Asher’s apartment, Syed didn’t have to know about it. When he got there, he pulled into Asher’s spot, the same one Asher told Thornton to park in earlier. He didn’t see Madi anywhere, so he got out and walked towards the building, stopping when he heard a car pull in the lot. Relief flooded him when he saw it was her. She jumped out of her car and tossed a keyring his way. “Go on. I’ll get my daughter out of the car and be right behind you.”
He caught the ring and jogged inside, skipping the elevator and using the stairs to get to the fourth floor as quickly as possible. He knew his achy, bruised body would pay the price later, but checking on Asher as soon as possible was more important than his discomfort. When he got to Asher’s door, he knocked first, calling out Asher’s name. After waiting a couple of seconds, he used the key, calling out Asher’s name again. It was dark in the boy’s apartment, the only light coming from down the hallway in Asher’s room.
Panicked he didn’t hear anything, he jogged to Asher’s room. The bed was rump
led but empty. The door to his bathroom was slightly ajar. Thornton walked towards it, trepidation making his heart hammer like a bass drum as he pushed the door open a bit and knocked lightly, not wanting to scare him. “Asher?”
He heard a whimper and then a sob and shoved the door open the rest of the way. “Oh, Jesus. Oh, god. Asher.”
What greeted him was worse than even he’d imagined, and he’d imagined some awful shit over the last hour. The bathroom was cold, so he knew the water pelting down on Asher’s crumpled form had to be freezing. He was mostly covered with the shower curtain, which he was using to shield himself from the worst of the shower’s spray.
Thornton was there by his side, turning the water off immediately. He reached back towards the door to grab Asher’s towel. “Baby.”
When the boy raised his eyes to Thornton’s, they were filled with tears, and his lips were trembling and tinged blue. With chattering teeth, he whispered, “Hurts.”
“Fuck. Ash, will you let me help you? I’ll close my eyes if you want. I just…”
“Please. I’m sorry.” His breath hitched. “I shouldn’t have told you to leave. You don’t have to close your eyes.”
“Shh. Don’t apologize, sweetheart.”
He was a hair’s breadth away from crying himself as he took in Asher’s small, shivering frame. He tugged off the shower curtain, replacing it with Asher’s towel. The bruises covering Asher’s body were worse than his, and he’d thought his were bad. Asher was half his size. He couldn’t imagine how much pain he must be in. When he tried to meet Asher’s eyes, they were blurry. It was only then he realized he was tearing up. Blinking away his own tears, he wrapped the towel around Asher’s tiny body.
Sliding one arm behind Asher’s back and the other under his knees, Thornton whispered, “Brace yourself. It’ll probably hurt like hell when I lift you, but I don’t see a way around it. Keep your hands in your lap so you aren’t straining to hold onto me. Trust that I have you, okay?”