Chapter Fifteen
How was I going to help Marc? He looked so small and crushed there on the pavement. As the others walked down the main road with Rees I hoped they would get to the castle safely. Walking slowly over to my brother I knelt down beside him and put an arm across his shoulders. We sat there for a few minutes as he cried himself out.
“I would have been a cool dad.” He whispered.
“Bud you would have been the best dad in the world even better than me.” I said.
“You know we were hoping it was going to be a girl?”
“No I didn’t. Maddie and I wanted so much for you both to be happy and have a healthy baby.”
“I know Maddie and Becky were talking baby clothes and stuff the other day. We talked about moving into one of the big rooms in the castle when the baby came.”
“What do you want to do?” I asked with a lump in my throat.
“I think if it is ok with everyone. Could we bury her in the courtyard garden?” He said looking up at me through puffy red eyes.
“I have not got any problem with it and I don’t think anyone else will.” I replied.
We sat there together looking at Becky’s’ body covered with the sheet. I heard the engine of the Land Rover before I could see it. Rees slowed and pulled up and I got up went over and opened the back door. Rees climbed out and we both walked over to lift Becky’s’ body when Marc shouted out “No please I’ll do it.”
We stopped and Marc walked over to pick her body up. Slowly walking with her weight he went to the back of the Land Rover to put her inside. I went to help him slide her in and Marc climbed up beside her and I closed the door. Marcs’ shotgun and Becky’s rifle lay were they had been dropped so I picked them up and climbed into the passenger seat. As we drove back to the castle I could here Marc speaking “I would have made you the happiest woman in the world. The baby would have wanted for nothing. It should have been me why did it have to be you? What am I going to do now? Why?”
The Land Rover stopped on the hard standing at the bottom of the steps. Everyone we had left in the castle had come outside to help with things. I got out and saw that everyone either had red eyes or were actually crying. Becky was the one of our group that held us together and losing her was going to hit everyone hard. Marc couldn’t seem to leave the Land Rover he just sat looking at Becky’s’ body covered in the sheet Rees had found. Her blood had started to bleed through the sheet making it stick to her face. His face showed no expression but he had stopped crying but was just unwilling to move from the rear seat.
“Marc we need to get her out of the Land Rover.” I said.
He mumbled something I couldn’t hear.
“What was that mate?” Rees asked.
“I said you don’t touch her any of you!” He screamed.
“Marc no one said they were going to touch her. If you want to move her on your own mate then it’s up to you ok.” Rees said.
He leaned over and slammed the back door.
I turned to look at everyone and said “If everyone can head back inside I’ll see if I can talk him round.”
Slowly people started to move back up the steps and into the castle. Rees hung back with Maddie and Mary.
“Are you going to be ok?” He asked.
“To be honest I don’t know. He had girlfriends before Becky but she was his first real love and the fact she was pregnant doesn’t make it any easier.” I replied.
Maddie came over and kissed me on the cheek and took Marys’ hand and they walked up the steps with Rees trailing behind. I sat on the bottom step and waited for Marc to be ready to come out of the Land Rover. Time seemed to pass even more slowly than any other day. As far as I could see, he must be feeling like his entire world had come to an end today. I sat on the step my mind constantly going over what had happened and what could have been done to stop this day from ever happening. As the images ran through my mind I couldn’t have seen it ending in any other way. Even if Rees or I managed to get a shot off the damage had been done with the Reapers first swipe of its claw. Now my mind changed to figuring out how to deal with Marc and how to get him through the next few days.
I heard footsteps coming down the steps behind me and I turned to see Maddie walking down toward me she carried a flask and a small bag. Sitting beside me on the steps she opened the bag and passed me some jam sandwiches then opened the flask and poured me a tea. I sat there eating the sandwich and drinking the tea when she got up and went over to the Land Rover. She opened the door and climbed in to sit next to him closing the door behind her. I could see her talking to Marc through the window after what seemed a lot of talking on her behalf. Marc broke down and started to cry again but this time he leaned into Maddie’s’ arms crying.
After a short while the back door opened and Maddie stepped down followed by Marc. I stood up and walked over to them.
“I am sorry Jay I just……” He said.
I walked up and pulled him into a large hug without saying anything. We stood there together for what must have been the longest time that we had ever shown of emotion. Not even when our mum had died did we show this much emotion. Maddie stood to one side and watching us pour out our emotion. (Yes I cried so what I am not heartless you know.) I knew we needed to move Becky’s’ body from the Land Rover soon of it was going to be even harder in the morning.
Pulling out of the hug I held Marc at arm’s length and said “I know that you probably don’t want to hear this bud but we need to move her somewhere more secure.”
He looked at me with red puffy eyes and just nodded.
“Marc do you want me and Jay to move her?” Maddie asked.
“Please I don’t think I could move her on my own.” He replied looking so down trodden.
Maddie and I opened the door to the Land Rover and we pulled Becky’s’ cold body slowly from the back. Maddie carried the feet and I carried the shoulders and we made our way up the steps to the castle. Marc followed behind slowly dragging his feet and softly talking to himself. We moved up to the small courtyard in front of the castle and placed the corpse in front of the pistol range.
“Marc we’ll have to lay her here for tonight and we can bury her tomorrow.” I said.
“Yeah whatever.” Her replied and sat on the steps to the castle.
“You need to get some sleep Marc. Becky wouldn’t want you to make yourself ill.” Maddie said softly.
“I can’t leave her.” He said
“You’re not leaving her Marc but you will need to get some sleep for tomorrow.” She replied.
I pulled Maddie to one side and whispered in her ear “Can you try and get him to bed. I need to go and find Rees, Jacob and Derek. We are going to have to dig the grave early tomorrow and have the service early on.”
She patted my arm and nodded so I left her to try and talk my brother into getting some sleep. Walking into the castle I made my way down and through the kitchen and into the courtyard that Becky had loved so much. I could see people moving in the café and walked inside. Sam and Toni were sat on the couch in the gift shop talking quietly. I walked past and into the café and found everyone else sitting quietly in a group. I walked over and slumped into a chair between Derek and Mary.
“How’s he handling it all?” Rees asked.
“To be honest I think it has broken something inside of him. We lost our dad early on to this and now he has lost Becky and his unborn child.” I replied.
“Is Maddie helping him?” Mary asked.
Rubbing my face with both hands I nodded and then just looked at the table top.
“I’ll get you something to drink.” Jacob said and he went out of the café and over to the castle. I wasn’t exactly listening or paying attention.
“Rees if you and the other men can help me dig the grave tomorrow I think we should lay her to rest early on.” I said.
“I’ll make sure everyone is ready and come get you. She’s not in the Land Rover is she?” He asked.
“No we brought her inside the castle walls for the night she is down next to the pistol range. Could you and Jacob go and lock the main gate for the night please?”
Rees nodded.
We all sat in the quiet. Each of us either looking at a loved one or looking at the table. After a few more minutes Jacob came back into the café carrying a large bottle of malt whiskey. Getting some glasses from behind the counter he poured some for each of us. He raised his glass in silent salute to Becky and we all did the same then down the hot fiery liquid in one.
Needing time to think I went out of the café and found myself in my usual spot on the wall looking out over to the mainland and watching the sun set over the hills in the distance. Standing there watching the darkness leach the light from the day. The warmth of the whiskey slowly began ebb from my stomach and leaving me cold inside and the coldness of night began to slowly rob the warmth from my skin. Today had been one of the worst days that I had ever had. How was Marc going to cope if he felt even double the loss that I felt? I wanted to scream into the darkness ‘Why not me?’ after all I was the tainted one. Maybe if I had died, would the Reapers have left our group alone in the future?
Maddie came to stand with after a few hours and put her hand in mine before saying “Rees and I managed to get Marc to bed down in a room in the castle overlooking the small courtyard. I don’t think he could have handled going back their room. Rees told me about having the service early I think it’s probably the best idea.”
“Maddie did I do something wrong?” I asked.
“What do you mean something wrong? Jay there was no way that you could have seen any of this happening. So to answer your question ‘No’ you hadn’t done anything wrong.”
“I feel like I have let Marc down by not stopping it from happening.”
“Listen this is going to have a huge effect on the group so you’re going have to start pulling yourself together. Yes you hurt, we all hurt and it’s going to be worse tomorrow but I know that it will get better. Because I know that is what Becky would have wanted to happen, for it to get better. Come on let’s get to bed and we can both face tomorrow together.” And with that she took my hand and steered me down the stairs and to our apartment. I stripped off and climbed into bed and lay looking at the ceiling. The bed dipped as Maddie climbed in and snuggled up close to me. The warmth from her body slowly pulled me down in to sleep.
A knocking on the door woke me up the following morning. Rubbing my eyes I sat up on the edge of the bed. Looking round I saw that Maddie had got out of the bed at some time.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“Walker its Rees mate time to get up mate.” He said from the other side of the door.
“Give me a minute or two mate just got to get some gear on.”
“I’ll wait in the living room I need to talk to you before we go down stairs.”
What the hell has happened now? I pulled on the clothes that I had been wearing the day before. Grabbing my webbing and rifle I walked out the bedroom into the living room. Rees was standing with his back to me in the middle of the room, but when he heard me open the door he turned round.
“Ok what’s happened?”
“Marc left the castle during night.” He said.
“What the fuck?” I replied rushing to get my webbing on.
“Don’t worry he is in one of the cottages on the other side of the village. I managed to track him down this morning.”
Slowing down I looked at him.
“I went to have a talk with him and he said that he couldn’t stay in the castle anymore it hurt too much. He asked if you could go and see him sometime later today. I tried to get him to come back with me telling him it would be safer, but he just said that if any Reaper wanted him; then they could have him.” He said.
“What about the funeral today?” I asked.
“He said that he would rather remember Becky the way she was and not a body in a hole. He asked me to leave after that.”
I was starting to get angry and said “Bloody stupid kid.”
“Come on Walker think how you would feel if that had been Maddie and then add that she was pregnant as well.” Rees said in a firm voice.
That brought me up short. During the time I had spent on the wall the night before I had thought of that and it didn’t sit right with me. I was going to have to go easy on my brother and try to be there for him as much as I could. After all I did have the promise I made dad to live up to.
“Ok have we managed to sort out where we are going to bury Becky?” I asked.
“Yeah, Maddie picked the spot. Apparently Becky had a spot where she liked to sit when she wanted time to herself.” He said.
“Let’s get this over with then.” I said then walked out the apartment and down to the café.
Derek, Jacob and Chris were waiting for us to come down stairs and we all left picking up spades and picks as we past Becky’s’ garden. As we past the small courtyard holding Becky’s’ body we past the women I waved at Maddie and she gave me a sad wave back. They were making a sort of cloth shroud out of sheets to place Becky’s’ body into. We followed Rees to the spot on the headland where Becky liked to sit and watch the sea. I dropped my rifle and webbing and started to dig her grave. Over the next two or three hours we dug down about six feet and it was roughly the right shape. Derek had made a wooden cross which we placed at the head of the grave and he managed to carve Becky’s’ name and her date of birth into it.
Chapter Sixteen
We left the grave and went to get cleaned up for some reason laying Becky to rest whilst dirty just didn’t seem right. Taking turns in the apartment’s shower we got cleaned up and made our way down stairs to the café. Maddie and the women had managed to make some food and hot drinks whilst we were getting cleaned up.
I sat next to Maddie and she put her hand on my thigh and asked “How are you doing?”
Looking at the food in front of me that I hadn’t touched I said “To be honest at the moment I feel numb.”
She squeezed my leg and then started to eat her food. I think she felt that the only way I was going to feel any better would be to let me ride out and she was probably right about that. Rees was holding Marys’ hand and talking quietly with her. Derek had Christine’s’ head leaning on his shoulder and Jacob was talking in hushed tones to Chris. Sam and Toni had retreated to the gift shop couch and were busy chatting to each other. There seemed to be a large hole in our group that would never get filled what with Becky dead and Marc wanting to live in the village.
If we sat here anymore we would never get round to placing Becky to rest so I stood up and said “Sorry guys but we have to do this come on.”
Maddie stood up next to me and I moved out into the courtyard. I could hear the scraping of chairs as people stood and followed me outside. I lead everyone to the small court were Becky’s’ body lay in the shroud the women had made for her. Rees and Jacob took one side and Derek and I took the other and we carried her down to the grave and slowly lowered her inside.
Standing to the side I said “Becky was one of the first people that I met after the Reapers came. Even from the first moment that I met her I could see that she was going to be a strong personality. She helped so much in those early days and even managed to save my life. Marc and Becky quickly fell in love and they were stronger together for it. When we met Maddie it was Becky that managed to bring her into the group. If it wasn’t for her I would never had met Maddie and found my love. I will miss her because she was the one person in the group that people could go to talk to. To my sister Becky I will miss you so much.” I couldn’t carry on and started to cry.
Other members of the group spoke of what Becky meant to them, but I wasn’t listening to what they were saying because my own emotion had in a way made me deaf. After a few minutes everyone had finished to say what they wanted, I reached down and threw a hand full of dirt into the grave. The group followed suit and they started to drift away from the
grave leaving myself, Rees, Mary and Maddie standing there.
“If you guys don’t mind could I fill the grave by myself please?” I asked.
“Are you sure? It’s going to be hard work.” Rees said.
“Please, I think this is what I need to do. Then I need to go talk with my brother and see what’s what.”
“Ok, I will be in the café when you get back, love you!” Maddie said kissing me on the cheek and walked back to the castle holding hands with Mary.
“Walker it’s going to take a while for you to fill it in. By the time you do that and go talk to your Marc it’s going to be getting late.” Rees said.
“If I have to I’ll crash with Marc for the night and head back in the morning.” I answered.
“Ok but if you’re not back in the morning I will hunt you’re arse down.” He said forcing a laugh.
Turning on his heel he walked back to the castle and I set into shoveling the soil back into the grave. Left alone to fill in the grave Rees was right it was taking a while and the day was quickly passing by. I finished by laying the last of the edging stones we had found whilst digging the grave. Looking toward the village I could see that the sun was a lot lower in the sky than I would have thought it was. I lifted the shovel over my shoulder and walked toward the village. Not knowing which house Marc was in was going to be a pain but I was sure I could find it. Half way down and the shadows were starting to lengthen and the sun was touching the horizon. It was then that I realized that the only weapon that I had was the fucking shovel I was carrying. I had left my webbing and rifle in the apartment back at the castle.
(Yeah, I know fucking idiot but in my defense I had other things on my mind at the time.)
Coming to the far side of the village I saw a shadow detach from the front of a house and my hand tightened on the handle of the shovel. As I got closer I saw it was Marc and he must have come out to meet me knowing that I didn’t know which house he now lived in.
The Reaper Series (Book 3) Reapers Mist Page 10