“I’m sorry,” Cal said helplessly. He ran his hands through his hair and looked around the parking lot before turning back to face me, with sorrow in his eyes. “I didn’t know what song they were gonna play.”
“I know,” I said sadly. “This is just too hard.”
“No, Shelly, please.” Cal stepped toward me, but stopped himself from touching me. “Please, don’t give up. Give us these eight weeks.”
I brought my eyes to his and nodded slightly. “I have to go.”
Cal didn’t say anything, just watched me leave. He was still standing there when I looked back in my rearview mirror.
Chapter 13 - Cal
This day sucked.
After screwing up my first date with Shelly, I'd gone home and had a few beers with Scott, driving him crazy by whining about how I needed to win Shelly back. Then, this morning, I'm faced with the fact that my friends and I are all getting together to pack up my house, so that Shelly and I can separate our belongings and sell the house we'd loved so much.
I swear, she and I must have looked at twenty-five houses before we'd agreed on the little fixer-upper five miles from where we'd grown up. The fact that we were really going through with selling it broke my heart.
I was worried that without tangible proof of our marriage together, it would be easier for Shelly to walk away.
I hoped I was wrong.
It was hard to hold on to that hope, though, when the same four people who had helped us move into this house were helping us move out.
"TJ, I swear to God, if you don't give me back that packing tape this instant, I'm going to kick you right in your flat ass!" I heard Sasha yell from the other room.
"Red, you know my ass is perfect," TJ yelled back. "That's why you haven't been able to take your eyes off of it for the past six years."
"You wish, you egomaniac. The only way I'd stare at your ass, is if you had a picture of Henry Cavill stapled to it."
I chuckled at the familiar banter of two of my closest friends. I'd missed this over the past few weeks. And even though we were all together under the worst possible circumstance, I was happy that we were all together again.
I tried to pack quickly, without paying too much attention to what I was doing. I was afraid if I didn't, I'd break down and embarrass myself, and I'd already done enough of that.
I walked into the kitchen and paused when I saw Scott and Gaby standing by the sink, his hand on her arm, and their heads bent together in deep discussion.
I assumed they were just having a conversation, but when I said, "What's up?" and they jumped apart guiltily and looked up at me with surprise, I wondered what was going on.
"Nothing," they said simultaneously.
I tilted my head and looked at them, searching their faces for a clue as to what they could possibly have to look guilty about. Figuring they were talking about Shelly and me, I shrugged and said, "Okay." Then I walked to the fridge to grab a water and get back to work.
When I walked past the living room, I saw Shelly sitting on the floor going through our CDs. She was holding a Brad Paisley CD in one hand, and wiping a tear off of her face with the other. It was the CD that featured out wedding song.
My chest tight, I walked into the room and crouched down onto the floor next to her.
"Remember the first time we heard that CD?" I asked softly.
Shelly looked up at me, her eyes big and sad. She nodded, but I answered anyway, caught up in the past.
"I snuck in to your house after the Sadie Hawkins dance, and you picked it out of your dad's collection. We danced to the entire thing, even the songs that were impossible to dance to." I chuckled as I remembered that night. "We laughed so loud, your dad came down and caught us. I thought he was going to kick me out, but he didn't, he just told me that if I got fresh, he'd grab his rifle."
I looked into Shelly's eyes, and we both smiled at the memory.
"When they asked what song I wanted to dance to at our wedding, there was no doubt in my mind what song to pick," Shelly added softly, her voice rough with tears.
I squatted there next to her for a moment longer, visions of that night dancing through my head.
We looked at each other, neither of us speaking, and I knew we were both reflecting on what we were about to lose.
As much as I wanted to deny even the remote possibility that my relationship with Shelly would end, I knew that we couldn't go on the way that we were now.
I yearned for the couple that we used to be.
When the pain became too much to bear, I stood and said, "Well, I'd better get back to it." Then I turned and went back to finish packing up the bathroom with a heavy heart.
As I listened to the sounds of our friends whispering in the other room, I packed and labeled boxes for Shelly and myself.
My stomach burned as I divided all of our stuff, most of which we had bought together. It wasn't hard to figure out who got what; I packed most of it for Shelly. All I needed were the bare essentials. Plus, I was holding out hope that in eight weeks, we'd be moving back in together and moving forward with the rest of our life.
My mind kept returning to the night before, and I knew I had to come up with a date that didn't have the potential to backfire like last night's date had. Convincing Shelly that I loved her implicitly, that she could trust me, and that we belonged together, was my only focus at this point.
There was no future for me without Shelly in it. I just needed to convince her of the same.
Chapter 14 - Shelly
Was this ever going to get easier?
I cried myself to sleep again last night. After packing up our home on Sunday, the girls and I went back and cleaned the house on Monday, to get it ready for Sasha to show it. I didn't tell Cal, or ask the guys to come help, because after Sunday, I didn't think I could stand the pain that came from all of us being together.
I hated how awkward it was, and I wished there was something I could do to change it.
After we were done cleaning, I'd taken my time and walked around the house. I ran my hand along the countertops, remembering the first dinner I'd cooked for Cal. Meatloaf, with mashed potatoes, gravy, and corn on the cob.
Cal loved my meatloaf.
I smiled when I looked over the stencils I'd painted in the bathroom. They were delicate white flowers against the baby blue walls. Cal had joked that he'd wanted the bathroom to be done in a fishing theme, but I'd bought the stencils and had the bathroom decorated by the time he'd gotten home from work. He'd pretended to be angry, but I said I'd make up for it, and we'd ended up having sex right there. He'd lifted me up against the wall, and when my legs wrapped around his waist, the decor of the bathroom was quickly forgotten.
I couldn't walk into any room of our home without a memory of Cal and me making love coming through. We'd always had a wonderful sex life, and I'd often had a hard time keeping my hands off of him. Cal was one of the sexiest and most handsome men I’d ever seen. And he was all mine.
At least … he had been.
Now, I was sitting at my desk at the bank, trying not to think about Sasha showing my house to prospective buyers.
I should be ecstatic that she already had people interested in seeing the house, but my heart hurt when I thought of someone living in the home Cal and I had built together.
It had been my decision to sell it, but I hadn't realized how hard it would be.
I sighed deeply and pushed back from my desk.
I needed coffee.
I walked into the break room, started fixing a cup, and turned when I heard the door open behind me.
"Oh, hey, Carlos," I said when the small loans officer walked in.
"Hi, Shelly, how are you today?" Carlos asked with a smile.
Carlos had been working with me at the bank for about three months. He was new to the area and was really sweet. He was good-looking and kind, a single dad of a little boy.
"Okay," I lied with a smile. "How about you?"
Carl
os walked over and filled his cup. He looked down for a minute, just standing there with his steaming mug in his hand, then he cleared his throat and looked up at me sheepishly.
"Look, Shelly," he began. "I don't want to step out of line, but I heard that you're separated from your husband, and that you're getting a divorce."
My stomach dropped at his words. It felt weird hearing that sentence spoken aloud.
I tucked my hair behind my ear, my hands shaking. "Um, yeah. We are separated."
Carlos looked nervous and took a deep breath before saying, "I know it's probably too soon, but I'd love to take you out, once you're ready."
My eyes widened. I was afraid they might bug out of my head, but I tried to remain calm otherwise.
Shit, I didn't know what to do. Everyone had always known about me and Cal, so I'd never had to worry about guys asking me out.
"Wow," I managed to spit out. "Um, I don't know what to say ... Cal and I are separated, but we have this deal where I won't ask for a divorce for eight weeks, while we try to make our marriage work." I spoke so quickly, I hoped Carlos was able to make out what I was saying. I liked him, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I was in no way ready to even think about dating someone else. At least not while I was dating my husband. "I appreciate the offer though."
Carlos looked embarrassed, and my heart went out to him. I'm sure it took a lot of courage to ask someone out, and I hoped this wouldn't make things awkward between us.
He nodded and said softly, "That's great. Please, forget I said anything. But, if you need to talk … I’ve been there."
I smiled and nodded my consent. When he walked out, I sagged against the counter. I wasn't sure how much more emotional upheaval I was going to be able to take.
I pulled out my cell phone and sent a text to Sasha and Gaby, "Carlos from work just asked me out."
I knew that Gaby was probably too busy at work to check her phone, but Sasha always had hers in her hand, so I wasn't surprised when my phone beeped almost immediately.
"Of course he did, we are so going to rule this city."
I chuckled at her response. I knew Sasha was trying to make me feel better. She loved Cal and although she'd never say it for fear of feeling unsupportive, she was hoping that we'd be able to work it out. I appreciated the gesture though.
"I said no."
"No fear, he was the first of many. Lunch?"
I smiled and said that I'd love to meet for lunch. Now I had to figure out how to get through the next few hours.
Chapter 15 - Cal
The last few days I'd fallen into a routine. Get up, go to work, have dinner with TJ, go back to Scott's, have a beer with him (if he's not out with Victoria), then go to bed and repeat.
It wasn’t exciting, but at least I wasn’t still moping on Scott's couch.
Last week's date hadn’t gone the way I'd planned, and packing up our house had been painful, but I wasn't giving up hope.
Today I'd asked Shelly to be ready, and hungry, at eleven. I stood at Shelly's dad's door and took a deep breath before knocking.
Shelly opened the door with a timid smile on her face, that didn't quite reach her eyes. I'm sure she was thinking back to the pain we'd both experienced last weekend, and I really hoped that today we could just enjoy each other's company.
"Hey," she said softly as she walked outside. She was dressed in jeans and a bright green top. I loved it when Shelly wore green, it made her eyes pop and made it seem like she was lit up from the inside out.
Her hair was shorter. It still fell past her shoulders in waves, but now it had some sort of highlights running through it.
"You look beautiful," I said honestly.
Shelly blushed lightly, then put a hand to her hair. "Thanks."
"Are you ready to go?"
"Sure," she said, bringing her eyes up to mine. "I'll follow you."
My stomach clenched a bit, but I nodded. I didn't know if she wanted to ride separately because she didn't want to have small talk in the car, or if she wanted a quick getaway. I got it, either way, but I hoped she'd eventually feel comfortable enough to ride with me.
The drive to the park didn't take long. Bellows Park was vast and green, with playgrounds, a dog park, a pond, and plenty of space to enjoy a meal.
I got out and met Shelly at her door. I opened it for her and held out my hand to help her out.
She took it and rose out of the car, then paused and looked at me.
"Bellows Park," she stated softly.
This was where I'd brought her on our first date. I was hoping to recreate that day, and the feelings that went with it, and I could tell by the look on her face, she knew it.
I walked around her car to mine, and opened my trunk. I pulled out a blanket and a picnic basket, then turned and smiled at Shelly.
"You ready?"
She nodded and I started off toward the spot by the pond that we'd picnic’d at all those years ago.
The weather had been perfect that day, and Shelly had looked amazingly beautiful in a pair of black shorts and a black-and-white striped top. Her hair had been pulled back into ponytail, and her face was fresh and pretty.
We'd come to the park with a lunch packed by my mother, but I never told Shelly that; I'd claimed that I'd made it all myself. I wanted to impress her, but I knew she saw right through me. She always did.
We'd spent the afternoon feeding ducks and nibbling on the food in the basket, as we told each other all of our hopes and dreams. We'd even rented a paddleboat and took it out to the middle of the pond. It was out there, in the center of the pond, with the sun setting, that I'd gathered the courage to lean in to her, and initiated our first kiss.
When we reached the edge of the pond, I laid out the blanket and placed the basket on the edge.
"Do you want to sit and eat, or do you want to feed the ducks first?" I asked Shelly when she looked to me for guidance.
She smiled slowly. "Ducks."
I opened the basket, pulled out half a loaf of bread, and handed it to her. The look on her face was childlike, and it warmed my heart. I hadn't seen her look so unburdened since our anniversary.
We walked over to the ducks, and I watched her as she opened the bag and tore off pieces of bread. She leaned over at the waist to throw some out to the ducks, and I took the opportunity to allow my gaze to travel her body. My own body began to harden as I watched Shelly's jeans strain against her backside.
Shit, I needed to calm myself down before I ended up upsetting her. I didn't want anything to ruin this date. Even my own desires for my wife.
Baseball, grandma, possums, cookies ...
By the time Shelly turned to me, a big grin on her face, I'd managed to get my hormones in check.
"I haven't been out here in forever, it looks great," Shelly said, her gaze sweeping the pond and its surrounding areas. "Do they still have paddleboats?"
I wondered if she was thinking back to our first kiss, and said, "Yeah, they sure do. I thought we'd rent one after we eat."
She offered me a piece of bread, and I took it gently from her hand before throwing it out to the waiting ducks. A couple of them went after it, and Shelly laughed when they started quacking at each other.
"How's everything at work?" I asked as she threw the last piece of bread.
"It's been okay," she said quietly. "I haven't been very focused, I'll admit, but everyone's been understanding."
Her answer made me wish I'd brought up something else. I needed to think of safe topics. Things that would make her happy, not sad.
As we walked back to the blanket, she asked, "How about you? Work okay?"
I held out my hand to help her down on the blanket, and she took it with a small smile. I felt the warmth of her hand in mine, and wished that I could pull her to me, but I knew it was too soon.
I feared I'd never get to hold her in my arms again, but I shook it off and forced myself to remain positive. If I didn't believe Shelly could forgive me, why
would she?
After she was seated, I followed suit and sat with my legs stretched out in front of me.
"It's been good, kind of slow, but TJ's been keeping me entertained."
"I bet."
"He told me this story the other day about a girl he picked up in Walmart. He walked right up to her, handed her his phone, and told her to program her number in, so he could call before he came over to pick her up at eight."
"Did she give it to him?" Shelly asked with a smile. She loved TJ stories.
"She sure did, didn't even bat an eye. Once he had her number, TJ walked away giving her a wink and a smile."
The sound of Shelly's laughter warmed me up from the inside out. There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear that sound for the rest of my life.
As we ate, we kept to the safe topics, talking about our friends and family. It was a wonderful meal, and when we were done eating Shelly asked playfully, "So, did your mother pack this basket for you?"
"Nope," I responded with a grin. "I made it all myself."
We both knew I was lying, I had no game when it came to cooking. I’d picked everything up, ready to eat, at the supermarket. I was thrilled that Shelly was joking with me, just like she used to.
I stood up and held out my hand to her.
"The paddleboats await." She put her hand in mine and I helped her to her feet. When we started in the direction of the rentals, I kept holding her hand, hopeful that she wouldn't pull away.
She didn't.
When we got to the rental booth, I reluctantly let her hand go so I could pay for the boat.
"I haven't been in a paddleboat since the last time we were here," I said as I guided her to the blue boat we had rented.
"Me neither," Shelly responded. "I don't know why not, I remember we had fun."
"I guess we just got caught up in life," I admitted. "We didn't take enough days off to do something fun."
Once we were both seated, we started paddling toward the middle of the water.
"This hurts more then I remember," I said with a laugh.
[Time for Love 01.0] 8 Weeks Page 5