by K. C. Wells
After fifteen minutes or so, Leo strode purposefully through the park toward him, giving quick glances to his surroundings but mostly fixing his eyes on Alex. When he finally drew level with him, Alex could see from Leo’s expression he was anxious as he looked down. Leo’s eyes met his, and Alex was relieved to see there was no look of reproach in them.
Leo gazed at him, steadfast. “We need to talk.”
Oh fuck. This was not going to be good.
ALEX stirred sugar into his hot chocolate. Leo had offered to get him a coffee, but he didn’t need any more caffeine at this point. He’d drunk enough throughout the day in an effort to stay awake.
The coffee shop was quiet for a Saturday night, but Alex knew there’d be loads of people in later once the cinemas and theaters released their masses. He sat opposite Leo, watching Leo stirring his coffee.
Since leaving the park, Leo had hardly spoken. Normally Alex would have been content to sit quietly, waiting until Leo spoke. But this was killing him.
Leo removed the spoon from his cup and took a sip of the fragrant coffee.
Alex couldn’t bear the silence anymore. “Are you going to speak to me?” he demanded. He couldn’t bring himself to look Leo in the eye, however. His eyes remained fixed on the cup as Leo drank. Alex watched his throat as Leo swallowed. Christ, he was a sexy man.
Leo put down the cup. Alex could feel those blue eyes boring into him.
“Are you ready to speak to me, is more the question right now.” There was the merest hint of amusement in Leo’s voice, but it was enough. Leo wasn’t too pissed off with him.
Alex took a sip of his hot chocolate before taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Leo.” And he really was.
Leo reached across the table for his hand. Alex hesitated. He stared at the long, slim fingers, the open palm. It was just holding hands, for God’s sake. Alex glanced quickly around the coffee shop. They were sitting in a quiet corner, and there were few customers. No one was paying them any attention. Sighing, he held out his hand, and Leo grasped it firmly.
“Start at the beginning,” Leo said firmly. “What happened when you got home?”
Alex related the painful episode. He’d seen Rob’s cold stare in his mind all through the night. What he couldn’t get his head around was it was his brother doing this dreadful thing.
Leo sat patiently, listening, his fingers caressing the back of Alex’s hand. Alex had to admit, he found it very soothing. He could almost feel Leo’s peace flowing into him with every stroke. It made telling his tale easier.
When he finished speaking, Leo didn’t relinquish his hand. “I’m sorry too,” Leo said finally. Alex could hear his sincerity. “I can’t imagine how betrayed you must be feeling right now.”
Alex nodded. Betrayed was the perfect word. Of course, he was also feeling betrayed by a so-called friend.
Leo smiled, as if he could read Alex’s thoughts. “It wasn’t Pietro’s fault, by the way,” he said. “Let’s just say he couldn’t help himself.” The smile faded. “Now please tell me how breaking up with me is going to solve anything. Because I don’t understand, Alex.”
Alex bowed his head. “I figured if I wasn’t going out with you, Rob would have nothing to talk about.”
“He’d still have seen us, Alex. That wasn’t going to go away.” He paused. “I’m not sure you were thinking clearly. I’m going to put it down to lack of sleep and sheer panic.” His hand tightened around Alex’s. “Because we’re not breaking up, boy.” The words were whispered, but Alex felt their power. It felt so good to have Leo take control.
Leo let go of Alex’s hand to reach for his coffee cup. “The real question is, where do we go from here?”
Alex had to admit, that one little word, “we,” made all the difference.
“Why can’t you come out to your parents, Alex? All this goes away if you do that. It’s the one thing Rob is obviously counting on—that you won’t tell them. But tell them, and he’s lost his leverage.” Leo’s hand returned, and this time Alex took it without hesitation. “Talk to me, boy.”
Alex tried to change the subject. “Look, why do you call me that? Is it because of the age difference? You’re only thirty-seven.” He stopped, suddenly feeling uncomfortable, as if he’d overstepped a boundary. He’d asked Pietro how old Leo was, but it seemed rude to blurt it out like that. He waited anxiously.
Leo chuckled, and Alex breathed easily once more. “Answer me this: how does it make you feel when I call you ‘boy’?”
Alex sighed. “I don’t know.” The words almost came out like a whine. He paused for a second, reflecting. “I can’t explain it, but it feels… right. And sometimes, like”—Alex felt his cheeks heat up—“like when we were in bed, it was so… so….”
“Hot?” suggested Leo with a sexy chuckle. Alex nodded, his cheeks on fire. “Then don’t question it, Alex. Just accept that you like how it makes you feel.”
Alex nodded once more, breathing more easily.
“Tell me about growing up in your home,” Leo said.
Alex stared at the table for a moment. “It’s hard for me to talk about this.”
Leo tightened his grip on Alex’s hand. “I think it’s hard for you to talk about yourself, period. You don’t like doing it.”
Alex brought his gaze up to Leo’s face. “You see a lot, don’t you?”
Leo chuckled. “I have eyes, and I use them.” Alex loved the gentle smile playing around Leo’s lips. “And I listen too. Sometimes there are things you do that speak much louder than words ever could. So I’m just going to sit here and listen. I may ask the odd question, but it’s your story, Alex.”
Alex took a deep, steadying breath. And then he talked. And talked.
It all came tumbling out: the feeling that he couldn’t be himself at home; his mother’s constant disparaging remarks, no matter how well he did in his studies; the lack of privacy; how he hated feeling different….
“When did you first know you were gay?” asked Leo.
Alex frowned. “I don’t think there was a moment when I consciously thought, ‘I prefer boys.’ Although….” Heat bloomed in his cheeks. No, he couldn’t tell Leo that….
Leo chuckled, and the rich sound was music to Alex’s ears. “Oh, there’s a story there.” Alex shook his head, cheeks burning with embarrassment. “Come on, Alex, tell.”
“Well, when I was ten, I had this teddy bear….” Alex began. Oh fuck it, just tell him! “It had this pouch….”
Leo started to laugh. “What did you do?”
Alex shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. “I fucked it.”
Leo burst into a peal of delighted laughter. Alex couldn’t help but join in, trying to finish his story amidst tears of laughter rolling down his cheeks.
“So I had my first orgasm with my teddy bear. Fuck, Leo, I thought I’d peed myself!”
Leo was clutching his sides, unable to control himself. Alex glanced nervously around the coffee shop, but apart from a few amused stares, no one was paying them any attention.
Leo wiped his eyes, still laughing. “Thank you for that,” he said. “I needed a good laugh. I’ve been worried sick ever since I spoke to Sev.”
Alex sobered immediately. “I’m sorry I worried you.” His insides were suddenly in twist.
Leo retook his hand swiftly. “Hey, we’re talking now, Alex. But you have to see, there is only one solution.”
Alex stared at his hand, clasped tightly in Leo’s long fingers. Surely he wasn’t serious. Alex suddenly found it difficult to get enough air into his lungs.
“Easy there, boy.” Leo’s voice was soothing. “Take deep breaths.”
Alex tried to comply, but his body wasn’t listening. Leo stroked his hand, his thumb rubbing circles on Alex’s wrist, a motion that had an almost hypnotic effect on him. He grew calmer, his breathing less ragged.
“Panic over?” Leo inquired, still moving his thumb in a steady pattern. Alex nodded. “Okay, then listen to me. You c
an’t let Rob get away with this. And the only way to stop him is to tell your parents you’re gay. And the sooner, the better.”
Alex tried to quell the mounting fear within him. He couldn’t face his parents. He could already hear their denigrating comments, could already see the looks of disappointment on their faces. Things were bad enough now that he hated the thought of going home. What would it be like if he handed them more fuel for the fire? He tried to wrench his hand away from Leo, but Leo was having none of it, and held on tightly.
“I’ve got you, boy,” Leo said in a low voice. “I’ve got you. But you need to understand something right now. When you tell them? I’ll be right there with you.”
ALEX was staring at Leo as if he’d suddenly grown two heads. “You… you want to be there?”
Leo smiled. “Do you think I’d let you deal with them on your own? Why do you think I was asking about your home life, Alex? I needed to know what you’d be facing when you told them. So… now I know, and I’ll be at your side. Hell, I’ll do most of the talking if you want.”
He could almost see the idea taking root in Alex’s mind. He wasn’t surprised Alex was considering his proposition. Leo had already worked out that Alex avoided confrontation wherever possible, preferring to keep to the background. Well, unfortunately, his little fuck of a brother had changed all that.
“We do this one of two ways,” Leo said matter-of-factly. He wasn’t giving Alex any wriggle room. “Either we both go now, today, and you can introduce me to them, or… I turn up unannounced on your doorstep one night. I’d say it’s your choice, but I already know you well enough by now to know you’d rather stick pins in your eyes than make a decision.” He smirked as Alex’s mouth opened and then closed again. No argument there, then.
“Leo, I’m scared.” Alex’s eyes were so large and round.
“I know.” Leo tried to keep his tone peaceful and soothing, but he knew inside Alex was a mass of nerves. “Do you think your parents are even the slightest bit homophobic? Is that it?” Alex shook his head. Well, that was one blessing, at any rate. “Then what’s your main concern?”
Alex glanced down at their intertwined hands. “I’m already a failure in their eyes,” he said, his voice trembling. “I don’t want to give them any more reasons to look down on me.”
Leo wanted so much to wrap his arms around the boy in that moment. Instead, he made do with tightening his grip on Alex’s hand. “You are not a failure, Alex,” he said firmly. Inside, he was seething. His fucking parents…. Some people didn’t deserve to have children. And in that moment, his mind was made up. They were doing this tonight. And then he’d find a way to get Alex out of that house for good.
Leo stood up, releasing Alex’s hand, and reached for his jacket from the back of his seat. Alex remained seated, his eyes downcast. Leo put out his hand. “Come on, boy. Let’s get you home.”
ALEX couldn’t believe he was going along with this insanity.
He sat in the passenger seat of Leo’s Mazda as they sped through the streets on their way to Alex’s house. Alex’s thoughts were racing. What on earth was he thinking? He couldn’t begin to imagine how his parents would react to him turning up with a boyfriend, especially one fifteen years older than himself. But he couldn’t say no to Leo.
He glanced across at Leo, who appeared quite calm. How the fuck could he be so calm? Alex felt as though he was about to dissolve into a puddle of frayed nerves at any second.
As if he’d read his thoughts, Leo placed his hand on Alex’s thigh. “It’ll be all right,” he said. Alex envied Leo his composure. Leo glanced toward him. “Okay, where do I go now?”
Alex realized they were in the street where Leo had dropped him off a mere eighteen hours earlier. He pointed to the next corner, his hand shaking. Embarrassed, he quickly lowered his hand. Leo pulled onto Alex’s street, and Alex indicated the house, a semidetached with a neat little front garden and a short driveway, his father’s car already parked there.
Leo pulled up in front of the house and switched off the engine.
Alex sat there, trembling. He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t. Even though he knew in his heart Leo was right. He could feel Leo’s eyes on him. “Leo, I… I can’t.” Alex hated how pitiful he was sounding right now, but he couldn’t help it.
Leo cupped his chin, turning Alex’s head toward him. Those blue eyes met his, and Alex had to fight the urge to look away. “It’ll be okay.” There was something in his tone that seemed to speak directly to Alex’s heart. And then Leo leaned across and kissed him.
Oh….
Alex lost himself in that tender kiss. It was only the meeting of their lips, but it felt like so much more. It gave him strength.
ALEX turned the key and opened the front door, not surprised his hand shook. Leo was behind him as they entered the hallway. Behind the closed lounge door, Alex heard the faint murmur of the TV. Saturday night in front of the box, something he’d usually avoided by going to his room. He paused at the threshold, taking in a deep breath. Leo placed his hand at his lower back, rubbing in leisurely circles, as if reassuring him. Seizing what little courage he had left, Alex opened the door and entered the room.
His mother was seated in her usual armchair, knitting a warm-looking sweater and occasionally glancing at the TV. His father occupied the remaining armchair, a newspaper spread over his knees and a mug of tea held precariously over it. The TV was showing some medical drama, although it didn’t appear to be holding their interest. And Rob was sprawled on the sofa, glued to his iPhone, paying the TV no attention whatsoever. Rob glanced up and caught sight of them, his eyes widening when he saw Leo.
Rob leaped to his feet, disbelief clearly showing in his expression. “What’s he doing here?” he demanded, pointing at Leo.
Alex’s parents turned their heads in the same moment to look.
Leo stepped forward into the center of the room as Alex’s mother put down her knitting and stood up, her expression obviously one of puzzlement. Leo held out his hand. “Mrs. Daniels, I’m delighted to meet you. I’m Leo Hart, a friend of Alex’s.”
Alex had to bite his lip to prevent the smirk that threatened an appearance. Friend? Well, that was a new one.
His mother took the proffered hand and shook. True to form, his father stayed in his seat, but folded up his newspaper, looking Leo up and down with interest.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Hart. I didn’t realize Alex would be here this evening.” His mother glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece above the fireplace. Her eyes returned swiftly to Alex, a look of accusation in them. “Alex, why aren’t you at work? You were supposed to be finishing late tonight.”
“Alex had to finish work early today, Mrs. Daniels,” Leo explained smoothly. “He didn’t get much sleep last night, and that was due mainly to your youngest son.” Alex shivered as Leo’s gaze narrowed in on Rob, who suddenly looked most uncomfortable. Good.
“Rob?” His mother frowned. “What does Rob have to do with Alex not sleeping?”
Leo gave her a disarming smile. “Perhaps I should explain,” he said, gesturing toward the sofa. “May I sit?”
Alex noted his mother appeared uncharacteristically flustered. He could understand that. Leo had flustered him the night they’d met.
“Of course! Forgive my manners, Mr. Hart. Please, sit down.”
Leo sat, glancing at Alex, his expression making it clear he expected Alex to sit next to him. Rob remained on his feet, looking decidedly unsure of himself. Alex sat down next to Leo, perched on the edge of the seat. No way could he sit back and relax.
Leo, on the other hand, relaxed back against the cushion. “Perhaps my choice of words wasn’t entirely accurate,” he began, his eyes flicking briefly to Alex. “I’m not just Alex’s friend. I’m his boyfriend.” He smiled.
There was a stunned silence. His mother’s mouth opened and closed. His father merely raised an eyebrow and gazed unblinkingly at Alex, who wanted to curl up and die under his intense scru
tiny. Oh, this was a really bad idea….
Finally, his mother spoke, seemingly having trouble finding the words. “Alex is… Alex, you’re… you’re gay?”
Alex wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. He couldn’t say a word. Instead, he glanced up at his mother, taking in her astonished gaze, and gave a nod.
His father finally broke his baleful intent look and chuckled. “Doesn’t get it from my side of the family,” he said, smirking at his wife, who stared back at him incredulously.
Alex couldn’t believe it. That was it? That was all the reaction he was going to get from his father?
Leo gave his father a tight smile. Obviously he’d expected more of a reaction too. “Alex would have preferred to tell you in his own time, in his own way,” he said, his voice level. “Unfortunately, that decision was taken out of his hands when Rob decided to blackmail him.”
Now that got a reaction.
“Now, look here, you can’t just come in here and start accusing my son of blackmail!” declared his mother hotly, her eyes blazing. Rob paled, however.
“But what else would you call it when Rob sees me kissing Alex good night, and then demands that Alex provide him with a new laptop to buy his silence?” Leo stared at her, his gaze unwavering. His mother swallowed nervously, her eyes flicking toward Rob. The mention of a laptop obviously struck a chord, since Rob had already asked their parents for one.
His father cast a glance in Rob’s direction. Rob’s cheeks were scarlet, and his eyes, burning with hatred, were fixed on Leo. His father chortled. “Always said he was enterprising,” his father said to his wife, indicating Rob with a flick of his head. He winked at Rob.
Alex had had enough. Indignation rose within him, and suddenly he found his voice—and his courage. “Enterprising?” His voice rang out, no trace of nerves now. “My brother resorts to blackmail and you call it enterprising?”