by K. C. Wells
Alex suddenly found it difficult to breathe. All he could think about was the image in his head of himself on all fours as Leo fucked him from behind, surrounded by men who were watching and cheering them on, their hands working their stiff cocks.
“What have you all been talking about?” Leo was standing in the doorway, bearing a tray of mugs. His question was met by a lot of sniggering, and his eyes alighted on Alex. “Or do I not want to know?”
Leo grinned, and Alex’s cheeks flamed. Oh, no way was he sharing this particular fantasy with Leo. Even if it was something that made his heart beat faster and his cock harden almost instantly.
With a start, Alex realized he’d zoned out. Leo was gazing at him, brows lifted, clearly intrigued, while the others continued to laugh at his reaction. Alex directed warning glares at them, only to be met by amused stares. Yeah, like he could outstare six Doms….
“YOU got everything?”
Alex was amazed. He and his father had spoken more that morning than they had in the last six months. They were standing by the front gate, all Alex’s worldly goods packed up in Trevor’s van. Jonathon had already left with three of the others for Leo’s apartment, and Trevor and Matt were taking the van.
“Yeah,” Alex replied. “Anything that’s left in the room can be chucked out. Unless Rob wants it, of course.” He snorted. He was grateful Rob wasn’t at home, because he had the sneaking suspicion Leo wouldn’t have been able to control his temper. Leo was standing by the Mazda, leaning back against it, his eyes on Alex.
His father glanced over at Leo. “So,” he began, his cheeks coloring slightly. “Leo’s your Dom, then.”
Alex’s jaw dropped. This was something he so did not want to be discussing with his father, especially in the street. “Dad!”
His father grinned sheepishly. “We got talking in the kitchen,” he admitted. Alex couldn’t help his look of astonishment. “What? I’ve read bits of that book of your mother’s.” Alex racked his brains furiously, wondering what on earth his Dad was talking about… until he recalled the paperback he’d seen his mother hastily stuffing into a drawer several weeks ago.
“Mum was reading Fifty Shades of Grey?” he exclaimed, incredulous.
“Isn’t everyone?” Dad said with a snort.
“Well, I’m not,” said Alex with a wry chuckle.
His father smirked. “Yeah, but you’re gay.”
That stopped Alex in his tracks. It was the first time his father had acknowledged his sexuality, and it brought a smile to his lips.
His father was watching him closely. “Does Leo know?” he asked, lowering his voice, his eyes flicking briefly over to where Leo was standing.
Alex frowned. “Does he know what?”
“That you’re in love with him.”
Alex froze, openmouthed. What the…?
His father gazed at him affectionately. “I can recognize when someone’s in love, Alex. Even when he’s in love with another man. Not that that should make any difference. Love is love, son.”
Alex thought if his jaw could drop any lower, it would’ve hit the floor by now. “I-I haven’t said anything,” he admitted. “I don’t know how he feels about me.”
His father took him once more in a tight hug. “Then maybe you should find out.” He stepped back, clearing his throat, his eyes suspiciously bright. “Okay, you, time you were off.” He locked eyes with Alex. “The occasional call, letter, text, or e-mail would be appreciated, all right?” Alex nodded. “Alex… I do understand why you’re moving out. And if it helps, I think you’re doing the right thing. But as for your mother… let’s just leave things for a while, eh? See what develops.”
This new relationship with his father was more than Alex had ever hoped for, and it gave him such a feeling of optimism, the world suddenly seemed a brighter place. Waving, he walked toward the car where Leo was waiting. Leo, and whatever the future had in store for him.
ALEX looked around at his new space. Leo had left him alone to sort out all the unpacking, which suited him just fine. The room was a good size, with plenty of drawer and wardrobe space for his clothing. There was even a desk under the window, although the view wasn’t as picturesque as the one from the lounge. The first thing Alex had done was try out the bed for firmness; it passed with flying colors. Although if Alex had his way, he’d never sleep in it.
Once the others left, leaving Alex lost in a sea of boxes, bags, and the general paraphernalia that went with any move, he’d finally had time to think, to analyze the situation in which he now found himself. And quite frankly, he didn’t know what to think. What was unsettling him most was this feeling of uncertainty. Where was this leading?
Of course, the simplest solution would be to actually talk to Leo. Yeah… like that was an easy option. Alex could just envisage that conversation taking place….
“Hey, Leo, can I ask… am I here ’cause you’re basically taking pity on me and getting me away from my parents? Or because you want me to move in with you as your lover? Oh yeah, and by the way…? I’m in love with you….”
Yeah, right….
There was a gentle knocking, and Leo popped his head around the bedroom door. “How does steak sound for dinner?”
Alex paused in the middle of placing his books into the small bookcase. Everything was virtually unpacked now, and Alex was flagging. And steak sounded wonderful. Right on cue, his stomach rumbled.
Leo chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes, shall I?”
Alex reddened. He glanced around at the room, which had at last taken on some semblance of order, and searched for the right words to convey even a small part of what he was feeling. Only to find his brain seemed to have seized up. “This is really good of you,” he said at last. He waited expectantly for Leo to say something, anything that would give him a clue as to what was going on in Leo’s mind right now.
Leo smiled. “I had the room; you needed it. End of story. Dinner in fifteen minutes, okay?” Alex nodded, and Leo withdrew.
Alex tried to push down his feelings of disappointment. After all, what could he expect? They’d only really been dating for just over five months, and even Alex had to admit, moving in together after that length of time was fast in anyone’s book, especially for a first relationship. That didn’t stop him from hoping, though.
So he had a room in a lovely apartment. Wi-Fi. Lots of space for all his stuff. His boyfriend just down the hall. And finally away from his little shit of a brother… and his mum. Yeah, he couldn’t complain. So why was his heart feeling so fucking heavy all of a sudden?
LEO sipped at his glass of red wine, noting, however, that Alex had barely touched his own.
“Is everything all right?” he inquired. Alex lifted his head and gave him a tired smile. Leo could have kicked himself. Of course the boy was tired. It had been an emotional roller coaster of a day, although Alex must have been ecstatic about the change in his relationship with Doug.
“Actually, I’m beat. Would you mind if I went to bed early?”
Leo nodded, and Alex got up, picking up his empty plate to take it into the kitchen, but Leo put out a hand to stop him. “I’ll take care of that. You go get settled, okay?”
Alex bent down and kissed Leo on the cheek before straightening and exiting the room.
Leo stared glumly at his wineglass. Not exactly what he’d envisioned for their first night sharing the apartment. What he really wanted was to take the boy to his bed, bury them both under the duvet, and fall asleep with him in his arms. So why didn’t you say something, idiot? The answer to that particular question was easy: Leo was scared. That familiar feeling of walking on eggshells was back. And Leo hated it. He longed for the easy rapport that had developed between the two of them during the last few months. No doubt it would return in time. After all, it was early days. But still, Leo’s stomach was in knots.
What it all came down to was this: there was no way Leo would place Alex under any pressure. He didn’t want gratitude. He
wanted—no, he craved—Alex’s love. And hoped to God one day he’d have it.
EmmyBabe: So tell me again, why exactly are you not in bed with him right now?
MaybeGay: Not really sure.
EmmyBabe: Do you want to be?
MaybeGay: Fuck, yeah! But….
EmmyBabe: But…?
MaybeGay: There’s no way I’m gonna ask. “Hey, Leo, can I sleep with you tonight? Oh, and every other night, while we’re at it?” LOL
EmmyBabe: What are you scared of? He asked you to move in, didn’t he?
MaybeGay: Yeah, but….
EmmyBabe: There’s that little word again.
MaybeGay: LOL. Maybe… maybe it’s too soon.
EmmyBabe: Well, if you never ask, you’ll never know. Just think, he could be lying there right now, desperate for you to walk through his bedroom door and climb into his bed.
Maybe Gay: *So* not gonna happen, Em!
EmmyBabe: LOL. A girl can dream, can’t she?
MaybeGay: Suppose so. Oh, I don’t know! *bangs head on keyboard repeatedly*
EmmyBabe: Alex? Babe?
MaybeGay: What?
EmmyBabe: One day at a time, sweet cheeks. One day at a time.
ALEX lay on his side in his bed, curled up tight, hugging a pillow. Sleep was eluding him. At several points during the past few hours, he’d contemplated slipping quietly into Leo’s room and climbing into bed with him, only to reject the idea almost immediately.
If he’d wanted me in his bed, wouldn’t he have said something? Alex was trying not to listen to the voice in his head right now. But he couldn’t help but wonder….
LEO paused outside Alex’s door, hand poised to turn the handle, and then he pulled back at the last minute. It just seemed so wrong, his boy alone in one room, Leo in another.
Why don’t you just go in there, for Christ’s sake?
Because it has to be something we both want, he reasoned with himself. And that closed door was surely a sign, wasn’t it? With a heavy sigh, Leo silently padded back to his cold bed, climbed under the duvet, and stretched out an arm to touch the empty space beside him where Alex should’ve been. Where he needed Alex to be.
ALEX picked at the bowl of pasta in front of him. The staff room was empty, as he was the last to grab food before the late Sunday afternoon rush kicked in. Although, to be honest, he barely tasted the food. His mind was definitely elsewhere.
“Thank God, I’ve got you to myself for a minute.”
Alex looked up from his virtually untouched lunch. Pietro was gazing at him intently. Oh fuck. There was no escape.
“So, you wanna tell me where your head has been all day?” Pietro wasn’t smiling. If anything, he looked concerned.
Alex let out a sigh. Yep, there was definitely no getting away from this conversation.
Pietro’s voice softened. “Alex, you just moved in with your Dom, your lover. Why aren’t you on cloud nine? And come to think of it, why aren’t you at least walking funny? ’Cause if it were me, Miles would’ve nailed me to the bed all fucking night long.”
Alex met his gaze. “Well, that would have been a bit difficult, seeing as we slept in separate rooms last night.”
Pietro slipped into the empty chair beside Alex. “What happened, babe?”
Another sigh slipped from between Alex’s lips, and then he told Pietro everything that had been going through his mind, including how Leo had worded his proposal.
Pietro’s mouth tightened. “That’s what he said? Gee, I’m really feeling the love… not!” Alex shrugged. “No, I mean it, Alex. The man may be a kick-ass Dom, but it seems to me he needs a good talking to.”
Alex lifted his brows, smirking. “And are you gonna say anything?”
Pietro snorted. “No thanks. I like my balls where they are, thank you. But someone needs to give him a good ass-kicking, that’s for sure.”
Alex got up, picking up his uneaten food. “Yeah, well, it won’t be me. Gotta stay on the good side of my landlord.” He gave a slightly bitter smile.
Pietro got to his feet, put his arms around Alex, and hugged him closely. “It’ll get better, hon, really. You just gotta give him time, yeah?” He spoke quietly into Alex’s ear. “Must be a big step for him too. I mean, you’re the first—”
“Yeah, since Gabe. I know.” Alex took in a deep breath and straightened, breaking away from Pietro. He smiled bravely. “Anyway, back to work before Sev decides to fire me.” He winked, and Pietro finally smiled back at him.
“All right, babe, message received. You go work.” Pietro patted his arm.
Alex gave him a grateful smile before leaving the staff room and making his way down to the kitchen. Actually, work was exactly what he needed right now. Anything to take his mind off his present situation. Alex couldn’t cope with all this angst. It just messed with his head.
“OKAY, what’s so important it can’t wait ’til our meeting tomorrow?”
Thomas was seated at his desk, seemingly deep in thought. He looked up as Leo entered the room. “Come in and close the door, lad.”
Leo arched his eyebrows but did as instructed. He seated himself in the empty chair facing Thomas and folded his arms. “Okay, what gives? And lad? Again?” He smirked.
Thomas regarded him for a moment in silence. “Tell me, how did the move go yesterday?”
Leo stared at him. Suddenly he was getting a bad feeling. “You’re… you’re not just asking this for the sake of being polite, are you?” Thomas shook his head. Leo sighed. “Okay, out with it…. What do you know?”
“Pietro called me. Your boy is not a happy bunny, Leo. Want to tell me exactly how you asked him to move in with you?”
Leo racked his brains for a moment. “I asked him if he wanted to move in with me. Told him I had a spare room, lots of space.”
“But you didn’t really mention bills, did you?” Thomas stared at him.
Leo stopped for a moment. “I… I may have mentioned that at some point we’d talk about food and bills, yeah,” he replied slowly. “Why?”
“Why?” Thomas’s tone was incredulous. “Leo, you just asked your young lover to move in with you. How do you think he felt when you did that? I mean, we’re talking a big commitment here, right? And then you go and mention bills. What are you, his lover or his landlord?”
Leo stared at Thomas, aghast. “I… I didn’t want to put any pressure on him. I thought if I kept it practical, he’d be less inclined to think he owed me or something.”
Thomas shook his head. “For an intelligent man, you can be so blind sometimes.” He speared Leo with his gaze. “You’re in love with him.” Leo swallowed. Thomas’s expression softened. “Leo, you’re in love with him. I know it. Hell, anyone who knows you, knows it. But you need to let Alex know. You can’t expect him to say anything. The boy is a natural submissive, for God’s sake! He’d no sooner ask you how you felt than… than walk under a bus. He needs to know he’s under your roof because you’re in love with him and you want to share your life with him.” He paused. “And, for future reference, that’s how you should’ve asked him in the first place.”
Leo let out a groan. “I’ve really fucked this up, haven’t I?”
Thomas’s smile was almost paternal. “Yes,” he replied. Leo raised his brows, and Thomas gazed back at him, an innocent expression on his face. “What? You’d expect me to be honest with you, wouldn’t you? But this is still fixable.” He locked eyes with Leo. “So go home and fix it.”
Leo got up. “I think… I think I might take the rest of the evening off, if you don’t mind.”
Thomas grinned. “I don’t want to see you here again for at least two days. Is that understood?”
Leo returned his grin. “Yes, boss.”
Thomas laughed and waved a hand at him to leave. Leo exited the office, already planning how to make this up to his boy, and what exactly he was going to say to him.
“THANKS for the lift, Miles,” Alex said as he clambered out of the back of
the little car.
Miles rolled down the window. Beside him, Pietro leaned across to speak. “Now get in there and spend some time with that man of yours,” he said.
Alex tried to return Pietro’s smile, but he was suddenly feeling apprehensive. Miles must have noticed something, because he reached out and grabbed Alex’s hand. Alex tensed, but relaxed when he caught sight of Miles’s expression.
“It’ll be ok, pup.” Miles smiled reassuringly at him. “Besides, Leo is bound to be in a good mood. Thomas has given him two days off work.” He grinned once more. “Have a good time.” Despite the darkness, Alex could see the wicked gleam in Miles’s eyes.
He watched the car as it pulled away, Pietro waving at him through the rear window, before going toward the main door of the apartment block. Once inside the elevator, he leaned back against the mirror, closing his eyes for a second or two. What exactly was he coming home to? He glanced at his watch; it was already 10:00 p.m.
The lift came to a stop, and he got out, searching for his key. Before he could insert the key into the lock, however, the door opened and Leo was standing there, dressed casually in a white shirt, open at the neck, and tight, well-worn jeans. His feet were bare.
“Thought I heard the lift,” Leo said. Alex’s heart almost skipped a beat; the man looked positively edible. Leo led him into the apartment… where Alex stopped dead, gazing around him with wide eyes. There were candles everywhere: tea lights in small colored vases; long, slim candles in elegant holders; a bronze glass flower on the coffee table that contained one small fragrant candle, its flame reflected in the metallic surface.
Alex detected the aroma of jasmine. Looking around the room in amazement, he finally brought his gaze back to Leo, who was standing beside him, smiling.