by K. C. Wells
“Let me feed you. We need to counteract the bad vodka with a greasy burger or something. Sound good?”
I was rewarded with his beautiful smile.
Aaron pointed me toward a diner near his place that served all night. We ordered a huge plate of chili cheese fries to share and a pitcher of ice water.
“I love these fries, but I’m on a green diet starting tomorrow. Or I mean when I wake up. I can’t believe how late it is. Way past my bedtime! I figured I’d go to my tame little work party, exit before I had the chance to embarrass myself in front of my coworkers, and then hang out with Jay for a while until Peter got home. Who knew I’d be swept away to a hetero bar to listen to top-forty music performed live and in concert in part by none other than the guy who whisked me away? A first for me.” Aaron raised a chili fry in salute. There was a wicked gleam in his eye, so I knew he actually had enjoyed himself. I was suddenly very happy I’d gone with instinct this evening. It had been a lot of fun.
“Jay is your friend? Peter too?” We didn’t know much about one another, but he’d met a few of my friends already, well, in passing anyway, and I didn’t know anything about his.
“Mmm-hmm. Jay is my best friend, and Peter is his partner. In the land of gay, they are what I would wish for one day. They’ve been together almost five years and they just get each other. Peter is a very successful lobbyist, and he’s super busy during election season, so I get to spend more time with Jay now than I usually would. I mean, we go to the gym and get coffee and that sort of thing all the time, but evenings are usually couple time or third-wheel time. Which I am all too familiar with.”
I wanted to steer the conversation away from couple anything, so I asked Aaron about his other friends and other hobbies.
“Well, I run.”
“Run? Like jog or do marathons? What do you mean?” I prompted. I couldn’t help noticing that he definitely had a runner’s lean physique.
“Yes to all. I do a lot of half marathons and 10Ks because I don’t have the time to train for a full marathon. But my goal is to do the New York marathon next year and maybe qualify for the Boston the following year. Jay and most of my other friends that run are more into social running. Jay talks the whole time he runs and he tops out at three miles. You can’t get any serious training done with that kind of ethic, but it’s a great way to spend time with your friends if they’re willing, so how can I complain?” He stopped to take a big gulp from his water glass.
“So, rain or shine? Or gym on days you don’t run?”
“Every day or at least six days a week. I go to the gym for light weight lifting, and let’s be honest, to check out the eye candy.” He wiggled his eyebrows and looked positively adorable. It was all I could do not to touch him somehow. “Do you run?”
“Well, once in a while. I actually did a couple of miles last week, but mostly I work out at the gym and play a pickup game with friends on weekends when I can.”
“Pickup game?”
“Yeah, basketball usually, but sometimes baseball or football too.”
“Those sound a little dangerous, Matty. That’s why I like running. Put your favorite tunes on, get your running shoes, and just go. And go.”
“So you’d rather not talk for three miles, although how your friend can talk and run for that long shows some insane stamina if you ask me, right?”
“Ha! Yeah, Jay’s got stamina. Well, I guess we’d have to ask Peter about that. I love running with friends, but I admit that I get in a zone when I run alone, and I can go for long stretches. Miles really.”
“How many? I mean, what’s the farthest you’ve ever gone before?”
Aaron wiggled his eyebrows suggestively again. He had a silly expression, which I think was meant to be lascivious, on his beautiful face. Instead, it was just fucking cute.
“What are you really asking me, Matty?” he teased. I gave him my best blank stare in response. Aaron sighed theatrically and took another long drink of water before answering me.
“Once I had just come home from visiting my family after some holiday or other and I just… I don’t know, they’re great, don’t get me wrong. But they stress me out sometimes. I must have run sixteen miles when I got home. I didn’t clue in until it got dark. See, it’s a little like therapy.”
“Yeah, I can see that. Everyone has their way, I guess.”
“Sex would always be my first choice, but since it isn’t always an option, I run.” Aaron fluttered his eyelashes at me. He was flirting shamelessly, but I got the message it was to steer away from any chat about family. Sex talk as a diversion. Interesting, but also distracting.
By the time I took him back to his place, it was 3:00 a.m. The usually busy streets were virtually empty. A fine layer of fog from the river painted the low-lying shrubs and sidewalks in front of his building. It looked a little mystic and magical, as though the early morning hour still held promise. I pulled close to the curb, set the car in park, and turned toward my companion. I didn’t want to say good-bye, yet I didn’t know where this thing between us could go. I felt that familiar wave of frustration.
“Can I walk you up? I mean it. I just want to be sure you’re safe.” It sounded like a lame request, but Aaron seemed pleasantly surprised.
“You are a gentleman, aren’t you?” His eyes twinkled. “I won’t say no, and I’ll try to keep my hands to myself. There’s a parking spot up there. Take it so you don’t get a ticket.”
I parked the car as instructed and met Aaron at the curb. His smile lit his entire face. God, he was beautiful. He took my arm when I reached his side. I didn’t protest, though the gesture seemed overly familiar. It just felt amazing to have this beautiful creature at my side looking at me like I was some kind of hero for offering to walk him to his door.
There was a bright lantern light on above the old glass and iron front door. Aaron couldn’t get the latch to catch, so I took the key from him and gave it a try.
“It sticks sometimes,” he muttered under his breath.
It opened easily for me. I was beginning to think my levels of chivalry were being tested. The thought made me grin when I should have been annoyed.
“You’re my hero!” he whispered loudly.
“Knock it off. Where is your place?”
“Uh-oh, Matty’s getting mad. Watch out, kids.” Aaron pointed to the elevator off to the right. The corridor was not as well lit as the front alcove had been. I was actually glad I was making sure he was safe. I was a little nervous myself. Which must have shown on my face, because Aaron laughed outright as the elevator doors opened.
“Relax, sweetie. This isn’t the Bates Motel. It’s just an old building. Supposedly historic, but really it just means the lighting is poor and the water pressure is worse. My apartment is cute, though. Come see. You’re safe.”
I rolled my eyes this time but gamely followed him.
His apartment was on the fifth floor. He led me down another long hallway and stopped in front of 5E.
“Home sweet home,” he said with a flourish as he opened his door. “Come make sure there are no bogeymen and then I promise to let you go, Matty.”
Aaron turned on a light and breezed through his small entry into a larger living room. As I followed him, I took in my surroundings. The apartment was small, with an open floor plan. A tiny galley kitchen was situated to the right, with a small pass-through to the living room, which was five steps away from a small breakfast table with two chairs. The furniture was sparse, but that was probably best in the small space. I could tell it was all good quality and that his taste ran to modern design. The walls were painted white on one side and dark gray on the other, with a huge picture window showcased in between. The sofa was a lighter shade of gray, pushed against the dark-gray wall and strewn with bright pillows in red, orange, and yellow. It looked like one of those hip knock offs of a classic modern design that appeared cooler than it was comfortable. There was a huge black-and-white photograph of the Brooklyn Bridge above
the sofa and a sleek flat screen TV along the opposite wall. The flat screen had to rival the one in my own apartment. My roommates and I had all chipped in on the largest model we could afford for optimal sports viewing. I smiled at the memory of Aaron telling me about all the reality television programs he watched.
I could see into his bedroom from the living area, and although it was dark, I could see the bed was neatly made. Aaron’s entire apartment was immaculate. And the juxtaposition of his modern tastes and the apartment’s older features, like the high ceilings and a floor heater, made for a homey and comfortable space. It was nice, and it suited Aaron perfectly.
Aaron threw his keys in the egg-shaped bright-orange bowl on his small kitchen table and turned around with his arms outstretched.
“Well, it’s tiny, but it’s all mine. As long as I pay the rent, that is.”
“It’s really nice. Suits you.” I felt awkward as I stuffed my hands back in the leather jacket Aaron had returned to me earlier.
“Thanks for walking me up. That was very gentlemanly of you. Is that a word? Whatever, it was sweet.”
His smile was a little shy, and his bangs had fallen back into his eyes. This time I couldn’t help myself. I reached out to move his hair away from his eyes. He looked up at me in surprise, and my breath caught. We stared at one another for a second more before our mouths met. The kiss was sweet. Just a good night kiss until he ran his tongue over my bottom lip. I moaned out loud and met his tongue with my own. And just as suddenly, the kiss turned urgent. I ran my fingers through his dark hair and cupped his neck with my other hand. I wanted him as close to me as possible. His lips were the perfect combination of soft and pliant. He moved his hands underneath my jacket and pulled my T-shirt out of my jeans. I felt his cool touch on the sensitive small of my back and shivered as he splayed his hands over my bare skin.
Our mouths were moving in a frenzy. I kissed and licked along his jawline, nibbled at his ear, and finally licked a path along the smooth skin of his neck. His cheek had the smallest trace of stubble. The light abrasion was intoxicating. I licked and sucked my way across his clavicle, unbuttoning his shirt to get to his skin. I heard him moan aloud. His hands caressed down my sides and made their way to my crotch. He lightly cupped me through my jeans and then took a firmer hold, as if waiting for my reaction. I held my breath as he unbuckled my belt, unzipped my jeans, and wrapped his long fingers around my shaft. My lips were at his throat, and I bit him lightly as he moved his palm up and down over my boxer-briefs. I cupped his ass, grinding our bodies close with his hand caught in between. He pushed me back an inch to gently move his hand inside the elastic of my briefs.
His bare hand on my naked cock was nearly my undoing. I was rock hard and desperate for friction. I reached out to bring him close again, but he resisted. I opened my eyes, not realizing I’d closed them in the heat of passion. He looked up at me, his lust-filled eyes half-closed, and kissed me once more with his tongue before he sank to his knees in front of me.
I could barely catch my breath, let alone think straight, and I felt perilously close to fainting when he kissed the head of my dick. It was just a touch of lips to that most sensitive skin. Just a tease. He pushed my jeans further down my shaky legs and kneaded the muscles of my ass as he opened his mouth to swallow my entire length. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to concentrate on not coming, but I had to see him. He looked up at me, licked at the precum dripping from my slit, and moved one of his hands around to fondle my balls. He ran his tongue over one ball and then the other before returning to suck wildly on my cock. I could see his head bobbing up and down and feel the sweet, wet suction of his luscious mouth. I ran my hands through his hair, encouraging his motion, but I knew I was in danger of coming soon. I could feel that familiar tingle at the base of my balls and knew I had to warn him I was about to shoot.
“Aar, Aaron… I’m gonna. You need to stop.” My voice sounded so strangled, I wondered if he heard me.
And then I came. I shook with the force of it and held onto his shoulders for support. He swallowed and swallowed, then licked. His eyes were closed but his expression was a gorgeous mixture of lust and bliss. When he looked up and opened his beautiful hazel eyes, he gave me that amazing smile.
I laughed. It was sheer beauty. The perfect melding of all the senses. I wanted to thank him, but really, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do now. Return the favor? I’d never sucked a guy off before. I would do it, though, if Aaron wanted me to. At that very moment, I would have done anything Aaron wanted.
He got back to his feet and looked up at me. He kissed me gently, but I needed more than a chaste peck. I licked at his mouth until he opened up for me, and I tasted myself on his tongue. It was exhilarating. I couldn’t believe what had just happened here.
“Good night, Matty.” I opened my eyes quickly as Aaron broke the kiss and stepped away from me.
“Don’t you want me to….” I know I was blushing. I couldn’t even say the words out loud. I could feel the high from the most amazing orgasm I’d ever experienced crash around me, leaving me feeling more unsure and awkward than I’d felt in a years.
“No, you don’t have to… but thank you.” He moved toward his door and opened it as I struggled to get myself back together.
“Are you okay? Did I do… or not do something I should have?” I was stumbling and probably making a total ass of myself, but I had to know where we stood. I didn’t know him very well, but the desire to change that was instinctual. The problem was I needed his guidance. I was in over my head.
“Don’t be silly. You’re fabulous. And sexy as hell. But it is three, probably later now, in the morning and….”
“Yeah, sorry. You’re right. I’ll go now. Can I… can I call you?” I probably sounded desperate but wasn’t sure how to play it cool now.
“Sure. Yes. See you, Matty.” Aaron’s expression was guarded now. It was time to retreat, and he was right, it was really late. I’m sure I was no longer thinking clearly anyway.
I bent down and gently kissed him on the lips, then once again on his forehead before I turned and walked to the elevator. I looked back at his door once more while I waited and saw him leaning on the doorframe, watching me. He gave me a small wave and a tired smile before closing the door.
I kept my head as clear as possible as I rode the elevator down. The cool early morning air helped me keep calm. I reached my car, climbed inside, and felt the wall begin to crumble. I began to shake. I struggled to get myself under control, thinking at first it was just the cold from outside that had me shaking. The tears were harder to explain. What was I doing? I was a grown man sitting in my car crying after experiencing the most intense blow job ever. Oh, yeah… given by a man. I knew I had more to deal with now than cheating on my girlfriend. I needed to figure out who I was, what I wanted. Because I couldn’t deny I wanted Aaron.
IN THE weeks that followed, I thought of Aaron constantly. I didn’t contact him again. I knew I was the one with issues. He was kind enough to put it mildly, but I understood the ball was in my court. To say I was confused didn’t scratch the surface.
I was ridiculously busy with school projects and working at the law firm. I knew I was using school and work as a means of escape. I was putting off dealing with something I knew wasn’t going away anytime soon. I spoke to Kristin a few times on the phone, and our conversations were polite but stilted. I had a feeling she knew something was up. Heck, maybe she was trying to figure out how to break up with me. The problem for me wasn’t only that I realized I needed out of my relationship with Kristin. It was more about trying to figure out what I wanted after that. Aaron hadn’t called me, which should clue me in to the fact that maybe he wasn’t as interested in me as I was in him. It was all a little pathetic.
Thanksgiving was around the corner, and for the first time since I had left for college, I was really looking forward to going home. I was looking forward to the things I knew I could count on, like my mother’s cookin
g, watching football with my dad and my brother, listening to my teenage twin sisters bicker about chores and clothes swapping, and our old lab panting at my feet, begging for scraps of food at the dinner table. I craved something I could be sure of since I certainly wasn’t feeling sure of myself.
I was from a small town outside of Pittsburgh. I didn’t go home often anymore. School and now my internship kept me tied to the city. So when I did visit, it usually worked out that I was really excited to see everyone for the first couple of days, on my way to annoyed the third day, and really ready to get back to DC by day four. I guess that is family for you.
It was no different this visit, with one exception. Me. I participated in all the family traditions. I played a game of touch football with our extended family on Thanksgiving morning, helped dad bring chairs and tables out of storage for the traditional feast, roughhoused with my brother, and teased my older sister and the twins. But I noticed my mom watching me a little more closely than usual. She asked, as she always did, about whom I was dating, about Kristin. She was curious about when she had gone home to visit her family in New York and what sorts of things we’d been up to recently. Innocent stuff, like what movies or restaurants had we been to. But she must have read something in my responses, because she didn’t delve as deep as usual, and I noticed her watchful eye on me during my entire stay. She was worried about me, and what could I say… I was worried about me too.
On my last morning at home, I decided to go for an early run. There had been a light snow the night before, leaving our quiet tree-lined residential street with a whisper of white on every surface. As I had told Aaron, I didn’t run often, but I was looking forward to it this morning. Almost as if, by participating in something he enjoyed doing, I could be close to him. Crazy, I know.
I was doing a few last-minute stretches before taking off when I heard my brother, Sean, call after me.
“Wait up!” He bounded down the front steps of our parents’ two-story colonial, slamming the door behind him. I’m sure our parents loved that.