I can’t tell her that I am an assassin.
I can’t tell myself.
Dakota. David’s voice comes as a whisper. It pulls me from my thoughts. I mentally draw an image of Elaine’s house and push it toward him.
“David’s coming over,” I say. “You should call Mark. It would be good for you to be with him after today. He’ll want to know you’re okay.”
“I already did. He’s on his way.” Elaine sits on the couch, her mind less fragile than earlier.
Rain continues to leak from the sky in inconsistent rhythms.
“I’m sorry I brought this on you. I thought coming home would hide me, keep everyone safe. I was wrong.”
“This isn’t your fault, Dakota. You shouldn’t have to go back to these so-called experiments if you don’t want to.”
I nod, unable to respond in words. Elaine always knows what to say, what I need to hear. Tonight is no exception.
“What’s the deal with you and David?” she asks just before a loud clap of thunder rolls through the darkening sky.
I startle with the sound of the storm. Or maybe it’s the mention of David’s name.
“I care about him. A lot.”
“That much is obvious.” Elaine wraps her knees to her chest and gives me her best get-ready-for-an-interrogation look “Did you guys meet during the experiments. Is that why you connected so quickly at school? Why he left?”
“We’ve know each other a long time. At least that’s what he tells me. I don’t actually remember much from before we moved here.”
“What?” Her brow scrunches into a thick ridge. “Really?”
“Yeah. My parents, my mom, performed some sort of psychological procedure on me, one that blocked most of my earlier memories.”
“That’s horrible.” Her look of pity is why I didn’t want to say anything.
“Yeah. Last February, my episode. It’s all related. My abilities resurfaced along with clips of a life that made no sense. It was all too much. I felt crazy. I was crazy. At least for a little while.” Maybe I still am.
Elaine grabs my hand and waits for me to say more. The silence pushes in, stealing the oxygen from the room.
“David and Josh—their memories were modified too. Except theirs started to come back earlier. That’s why David left. He and Josh were trying to keep me safe. David thought leaving was the best course of action since he knew he’d never be able to keep secrets from me.”
“So that’s why he left?”
“Yeah. And he’s been trying to make it up to me ever sense.”
I feel myself relaxing as I speak. Our conversation feels normal, exactly what I need after earlier.
“So you two got back together? After the funeral?”
“There was no funeral. Josh was murdered, just like you thought. We—Josh, David, and I—were on the run. Josh went to check on something and didn’t tell us. By the time we found him it was too late. I couldn’t save him.”
My eyes fill with water. The living room blurs and morphs, transforming into the shore of the lake. I see Josh’s bulging eyes staring back at me, his bloated face forcing my stomach to churn. I steady my thoughts, not wanting to relive his death. Again.
“Dakota?”
“What? Sorry. David was with me when I found him. He’s been with me ever since.”
Until I left him.
Elaine remains silent.
“I love him,” I whisper.
“I know. You always have.” Elaine puts her arm around me and I feel more words tumble out on their own. I need to say everything I’ve kept bottled inside.
“He asked me to marry him.” The words fall on silence. A minute is all I can take. “Say something,” I plead, unable to handle my vulnerability.
“That’s big. Huge. And knowing you, that’s when you left and came here.” Elaine locks her gaze with mine. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
She already knows the answer.
Mark arrives before David. He scoops Elaine up into a hug and asks her if she’s okay before he escorts her to the kitchen so they can talk alone. My thoughts twine around me. David. I reach to him, attempting to quell the growing dread in my stomach. You should be here by now. Where are you?
The thoughts twist and morph. My stomach flops in unison with my mind. My heart cracks.
David. Tears well and spill over my cheeks.
“I’m here,” he says as he stumbles up the steps of Elaine’s porch. “I got here as fast as I—”
He falls forward before he can finish the sentence. His arm is saturated with blood.
“David? Elaine! Mark! Help!”
They run to my side and help me lower David to the couch. Elaine runs from the room and returns with bandages, gauze, peroxide and a variety of other liquids and gels. “Here,” she says.
I scrunch my brow and examine David’s arm like a puzzle. Maya had been the one to stitch me up when I was shot and I blacked out during the process. Based on the way David looks now, I know that he, too, won’t remember much.
I pour some peroxide onto a scrap of gauze and attempt to clean the wound. David sucks in a breath and grinds his teeth.
“I’m sorry, babe. I need to clean this out. I don’t want it to get infected.”
He nods, his jaw tight.
Mark pulls the gauze and bottle from my hands. “Let me,” he says. “I’ve got this. Go get David some water.”
I walk out of the room, my hands shaking as I attempt to fill a glass with water. The lights flicker.
Elaine takes the glass from me, fills it. “Are you okay?” She asks.
“It’s hard seeing him in pain. He’s the one that usually takes care of me.” Again my emotions cause the lights to flicker.
“I know.” Elaine squeezes my shoulder. “Try to relax,” she says.
I release a sharp breath and nod, willing my mind to calm.
“He should see a doctor,” Mark says when we walk back into the room. He’s tying a make-shift sling around David’s arm and shoulder. “I know that isn’t an option, but he needs to be seen.”
“Can’t risk it,” David grunts. “I’ll be fine.”
“Your funeral, man.” Mark hands the remaining bandages and antibiotic ointments to me. “You’ll need to clean the wound several times a day. I can get more supplies before the morning. In my not-expert medical opinion, the wound looks superficial, so he should be okay.”
“Thank you.” I look at Elaine and mouth “he’s a keeper.” She smiles and nods. “How did you learn this stuff, anyway?” I ask as an afterthought.
Mark smiles. “Video games.” His comment draws a laugh from David and me.
“We’ll leave first thing,” I say after a moment. “I’ve put you both in enough danger as it is. You two need to get out of town too. At least until things die down.”
“We’re not leaving until you do.” Elaine’s voice is resolute.
“No! I won’t let you endanger yourselves any more than you already have.”
Elaine shakes her head. “You can’t tell me what to do, Dakota. I’m staying,” she says with a light laugh.
Mark joins her. “So am I.”
Elaine beams. “We’re in this with you now, like it or not.”
I’m up before sunrise, desperate to put some distance between myself and Elaine. I fill my backpack with supplies—food, a couple of bottles of water and a first aid kit—and toss the bag into the car.
“Where are you going?” David leans against the hood of the car, a stern look painted on his face. “You’re not leaving me again.” He adjusts his sling and a slight groan escapes his mouth.
“I’m trying to keep everyone safe.”
“How’s that working out so far?” Anger seeps through his voice, reflecting the same frustration I feel. He grips the hood and sucks in a breath.
“Thank you for helping us. I know we wouldn’t have made it through that without you.” I reach out to his arm and pull back. I hate that he’s been hurt bec
ause of me. Again.
“I’m not fishing for a compliment, Dakota. I’m trying to get you to see that we’re stronger when we act together. You’re stronger.”
“Maybe you’re right. I don’t know.” I release a stiff breath. “I won’t let the people I love die because of me. Not again.”
David lights up at the mention of that word. “I knew you loved me.”
“Not the point.”
“Exactly the point,” Elaine says as she and Mark walk toward us. “You run when things get really intense. You always have. I won’t let you do this anymore. And now I have reinforcements.”
David smiles.
“We aren’t letting you leave,” Elaine continues, coming to a stand right in front of me. “We’re all in this with you.”
“I can’t ask you to do this. It’s too dangerous.”
“You’re right, you can’t. But you can’t stop us from doing it either.” Elaine is wearing her shut-up-and-listen look and I know there’s little point in arguing further.
“Look, you and Mark are great,” I say. “But the people coming after us are deadly. Especially—”
“The new recruit.” David nods as he speaks, completely in sync with my concerns.
“Yeah, him. Who do you think he is?”
David’s brow is a thin line. “No idea. He’s been trained like us, though. But he’s different. More cautious in some ways. Deadlier in others.” David clenches his jaw and expels a deep breath. “The truth is, he reminds me of you.”
“Me?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
“That’s not good.”
“Why?” Mark’s eyes follow mine as I glance at David.
“You might as well tell them everything,” David says.
“There’s more?” Elaine asks.
“Um, yes. But let’s not talk here.” I guide them inside, suddenly feeling vulnerable and insecure.
Once we’re in the living room, I open my mouth and share my truth. “I was trained to do only one thing.” I swallow hard
“What?” Elaine asks.
“Kill. I am an assassin.”
“You were an assassin,” David corrects. “At least, that’s what they wanted you to be.”
“No. That’s what I am.”
Elaine’s mouth opens and closes in quick succession. Surprise gives way to acknowledgement and Mark smiles.
“You knew?” I ask him.
“I suspected. Something about how Elaine described what happened at the market, how you got away from the initial attack. But I didn’t know the government was actually working on this. I mean, sure, we talk about it on the Dark-net, but that’s not the same as seeing living proof.”
“We?” David stares at Mark and I know he’s looking through his thoughts.
Based on Mark’s expression, he knows exactly what David is doing. “There are lots of people who believe in psychic phenomena. People like me.”
“I doubt the government was involved,” David says.
The conversation is growing more and more uncomfortable for me. All I want is to drive away and keep everyone safe. “You guys have to see that I can’t stay now. It isn’t safe. Not for you, and not for me.” I pin David with my glare. “All of you need to stay. Let me leave. Alone.”
David smiles. “Babe, that ship has sailed.”
“Yeah,” Elaine agrees. “Face it. We aren’t letting you go through this mess alone. We’re staying with you.”
I shake my head, frustrated. Why won’t you guys listen to reason?
“Besides,” Elaine starts, “I made a promise to keep you safe.”
“A promise?”
“Yes.” Elaine takes a settling breath. “I have a confession to make. There’s another reason I can’t let you go through this alone, besides my stubbornness and our friendship, that is.”
“What? The promise you made?”
“Yep. To your mom.”
The mention of my mom throws me off-balance.
“A week or so after I got the letter from your parents, your mom called me. I don’t know how she got my number, but I assume it was from you. Anyway, she asked me to keep an eye on you and Josh. She said that you both would need a friend, someone to keep you safe. Someone you could rely on. She refused to say anything more, but she made me promise I’d be there for you. And I will. I am.”
I try to process the words, but I can’t.
“I’ve been waiting for you and your brother since then, checking the house every day. Now that you’re back, I get why your mom said what she did.” Elaine lays a hand on my shoulder. “I promised I’d look out for you and keep you safe. I promised to be a good friend. It’s a promise I won’t abandon. So, you’re stuck with me, like it or not.”
My eyes fill. “Mom called you a week after we left?”
“Yep.”
“But that isn’t possible.” I think back to the accident, replaying the moment seared in my thoughts. The crash, the gunshots, the scream. I never saw mom’s body, never confirmed her death.
In my dreams, my mom survives. But that isn’t real. Is it?
“I’m not leaving you now, Dakota. None of us are.” Elaine smiles. Mark and David nod.
“Okay, okay. Fine. But if we’re doing this thing together, I guess we’d better all get on the same page.”
“Agreed,” David says as the others nod again.
“I want to know more about Mom, whether or not she’s alive.” The thought send chills through me. “If she knows where my brother is.”
“Brother?” I forget that David doesn’t know about all of Mom’s secrets.
I retrieve the leather bound journal from my bag and hand it to David along with the picture.
“You have a younger brother?” David’s eyes are fixated on the old photo.
“Apparently.”
“Where is he? Is he like you and Josh? Does she say?”
“That’s just it, we don’t know. Mom said she gave him up for adoption when he was a baby. She wanted to keep him safe.”
“From LeMercier?” David asks.
“Nope. Apparently he was a saint compared to her husband.”
“Wow,” David says in a low voice.
Wow. Every emotion I can’t yet express bound into a single word.
“Right. Anyway, she confessed that LeMercier was the biological father of the baby. She didn’t think the baby was psychic, but she wasn’t certain. She just wanted him far away from this life. So she gave him up in a closed adoption.”
Mark listens, quiet. “That’s rough,” he finally says after several moments had passed. “It’s hard growing up not knowing where you belong. It took me a long time to feel whole.”
Elaine grabs his hand and leans into him.
“That’s why I want to find him,” I say. “I want him to know that he has a family who cares about him.”
David and the others nod in agreement.
“Yes,” David says, “we should find your brother. But I think the first priority needs to be this new recruit. As long as he’s around, he’s a threat.” David focuses all of his attention on me. “And you need to learn a few skills before we face him.”
I open my mouth to protest. The words evaporate before they are spoken. “You’re right,” I say instead. “Mark can help me—us—with defensive skills.”
“Really?” David asks.
“I’ve read up on this stuff,” Mark confesses as red tints his cheeks.
David nods and looks at me again. “Fine. But you need to practice your offensive skills, too. You need to know how to attack.”
“Absolutely not! I won’t use that part of my abilities. I can’t. It’s too hard for me to stay in control, manage my emotions.”
I’ll help you. Please, trust me. David whispers through my thoughts.
If only it were that simple.
I consider our tasks: find my brother, find the recruit, practice my skills. Of the options, finding the recruit is easiest. And the most necessary,
at least for the moment.
“I’m going after the recruit. Now that I know what he can do, I won’t be so unprepared.”
“I’ll go with you,” David says before I can refuse. “I’ll help with his shield. He isn’t stronger than what you’ve faced, but he is more clever.”
I do need his help, even if I don’t want to admit it.
“I have an idea,” Mark says. “Why not lure him here?”
“Here? To my house?” Elaine’s question isn’t unreasonable. “Wouldn’t that put us all at risk?”
“We can control things here.” Mark seems sure of himself, like he’d planned everything out already.
“Are you sure you’ve never been involved in this world before?” David asks as he smiles.
“What can I say? I play a lot of video games and read a lot of comic books. This isn’t that different.”
Yeah, except death is real in this world.
“Okay,” I say, “how do we get him here? And when?”
“Getting him here is easy,” David says. “Drop your mental blocks. He’ll pick up on your thoughts and rush right over.”
I listen as everyone makes suggestions and organizes our plan. The scene is surreal. Josh would’ve loved this, David says in my thoughts. I smile and close my eyes. He really would.
By the time a plan is devised, the sun is high, the sky clear. A cool breeze floats through the house as distant clouds remind me of yesterday’s storm.
“So, are we agreed?” I asked. “I drop my defenses and let the recruit find me.”
“Think about LeMercier,” David suggests. “I’m sure it’ll help the recruit lock in on you.”
“Assuming he’s looking,” Elaine says.
“Oh, he is.” There’s no way my father would let this new protégé miss out on an opportunity to capture me. Not after last time. I doubt he’ll let the recruit live if there’s another problem.
Day passes into night in a blur. Mark gathers more supplies for David while I mentally rehearse the defensive shields he told me about earlier.
“Thanks for everything,” I say to Mark when he returns with the supplies. “You didn’t have to help.”
“Yeah I did.” He tosses a look toward Elaine as she changes David’s bandages.
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