“Every success story is different. I will be seeing you again tomorrow. Our hour is almost up and I have a pressing appointment with another client. The homework is for each one of you to think about those you have used for sex. Try your hardest to remember their names. Think about how you would feel in the same position.” There were murmurs of dissension and the guy across from me was licking his lips.
“I want all of you to know that you can come to me for advice. I have been given permission from Dr. Evans to become a sponsor. I’m looking forward to talking one of you down from the ledge. I don’t even have to be in the same state. In this day of social media keeping in contact is easier than ever.” Jessica was ready to give back by making the grand sacrifice of holding someone’s hand.
The group separated leaving me with the man who stuck around to get to know me better. The flush of my chest with my heart pumping adrenaline through my body was a good sign mistakes were going to happen.
He approached me sporting an erection and I suddenly put my hand out to halt his advances. He was a little stunned. I walked away before I could do anything about my desire to consume him and leave him wanting more.
It was a baby step, but I was elated by the strength I had to deny myself a mind-blowing orgasm. I could take care of myself under the hot spray of the shower in my room. I even had a few sexual implements to take a tour of the contours of my body. It was a pale comparison to the real thing. It was going to be one hellish day after another.
CHAPTER 8
Tyler
It had been a few days and I’d seen her in passing. I hadn’t said a word. Dealing with my issues with Dr. Evans was a fulltime job. The brief time I had to talk to Stella left me breathing a sigh of relief.
“The board of directors didn’t even question the generosity of your gift. They have been gone almost a week and not one of them have tried to reach out.” Her voice was my lifeline to the real world outside of this paradise complex.
“Thank you Stella. I’m lucky to have you on my side and not working against me. Others might find it necessary to strike when they saw me metaphorically bleeding.” She was keeping on top of things and acting with my name on her lips. She had this air of authority with softly spoken words.
“It’s been interesting standing in your shoes. I forget sometimes how much you have to juggle every single day. I always find it necessary to break into the bottle of whiskey in your desk at the end of the day. One shot is enough to clear the cobwebs. I might have to resort to stronger measures.” I was not unaware of her penchant for younger guys. She could be the cougar on the prowl.
“I hope this time you will be a little bit more selective about your partners. I still remember the stunned look on your face when the son of one of my clients came strolling in one day. It was lucky his father didn’t recognize the one night stand gleaming in your eyes.” She liked to think she was invincible and immune to falling head over heels for a man.
I was looking forward to the day when a man was able to capture more than just her sexual fascination.
“You don’t have to worry. I’ve learned my lesson from the last time. There’s a lawyer in the next office building across from ours. He seems to have the potential to leave me basking in the afterglow. I will have to make it perfectly clear I’m not looking for anything long-term. Thankfully, I know he’s married by the ring on his finger. He’s only after one thing and that’s perfectly fine by me.” She could say that now, but the future was still unfolding.
“I did want to mention the conference call with the Russians. I won’t be there in person, but I suspect you have already taken that into account. They need to know business goes on as usual. Don’t let them intimidate you.” I had given her a thick skin and made her uniquely qualified to play the game.
“The only person who has ever intimidated me is you. Your personality is enormous. It’s a wonder you can fit through the door with the size of your ego. I mean that with all the respect I can offer to the man who gave me everything.” It felt like she was giving me a backhanded compliment.
“I appreciate the way you have prevented the house from falling down around my ears. Try to have fun, but don’t leave any permanent marks. That young kid had no idea what he was getting himself into.” The one mistake to come back to haunt her had the noticeable hickey on his neck.
“I can’t promise to leave no marks, but they won’t be able to see them without stripping away the defense of his suit. It’s amazing you’re able to get me to talk about these things. I don’t even discuss my sex life with my best friend. She’s a bit of a prude and she probably wouldn’t approve of my actions.” Her best friend Anna had come to the office looking like a nun.
There wasn’t an ounce of skin exposed. I could tell she didn’t like me. She wore her Catholic upbringing like a chastity belt around her waist. The vibe she was giving off was like a cop halting traffic with his hand.
“I have to go. I’m getting the evil eye from one of the attendants. He keeps touching the watch on his wrist and moving his finger in a circle to speed things along.” I had left her with my marching orders and she would interpret them in any way she deemed necessary.
“Mr. Moore, Dr. Evans regrettably won’t be able to see you until later this afternoon. We have plenty of things you can do in the meantime.” He handed me the same pamphlet sitting on my nightstand.
“This casual atmosphere is going to be the death of me. When I make appointments I never deviate from them. Each day is a guessing game whether or not I will see her at my regular appointed time.” He walked away without explaining the reason for the delay.
I was in the lobby and I saw her going into the cafeteria to get her daily fix of hot chocolate. I could set my watch to when the chocolate craving would come over her. Her name was still a mystery. I tried to flatter the girl behind the counter at the front desk, but she was sticking to the rules. If I wanted to know anything about her then I was going to have to bite the bullet and introduce myself.
She was sitting in her customary chair by the window daydreaming and letting the waves carry her away. I wondered why she was here. I watched her closely but stayed far enough away for her to feel safe. I had my caffeine, black with no cream or sugar…precisely the way I liked it.
Getting a good cup of coffee in San Diego was like pulling teeth. There were so many variations. Some had chocolate shavings, whipped cream, not including the stick of cinnamon. I was annoyed by the pompous idiots and the next generation ordering these insipid drinks. I just wanted something plain and simple.
I carried my cup of coffee over to where she was currently sighing with resignation.
She was lost and had no idea I was even in her gravity. The curiosity to ask her why she was getting treatment was on the tip of my tongue. I knew it was none of my business.
I had a feeling she wasn’t going to open up to a total stranger.
“Is this seat taken?” I felt foolish for saying something so asinine.
She made me feel like I was back in high school sweating bullets about asking the cheerleader to the dance.
“I was wondering when you were ever going to get around to introducing yourself.” Her words were clipped and sharp. I was going to have to tread carefully.
“You seem to have me at a disadvantage. You know me, but I don’t know you.” I was dangling the bait in the water and hoping she would bite.
“You’ve been watching me.”
“I wouldn’t…I couldn’t…I’m…I’m…oh hell…I can’t deny it.”
“I’ve been doing the same thing but at least I was a little more subtle about it.” Her bold statement caught me off guard.
I really hadn’t thought this through.
“I didn’t mean to be intrusive. I can’t explain what I felt when I first laid my eyes on you.”
“I would really like to hear you try. You don’t take me for being at a loss for words.” She was very good at t
his verbal sparring.
“I was speechless for the first time in my life. This isn’t some lame come on to get into your pants.” I could see I had struck some kind of nerve.
The way she shifted in her seat painted the picture of someone uncomfortable.
“My name is Erin. You are Tyler Moore the billionaire pharmaceutical mogul.”
She made it sound like we knew each other. I would’ve remembered her.
“Don’t worry, nobody told me. You’re pretty recognizable. There are plenty of photos of you and a variety of lingerie models and actresses on tabloid magazines. The last one was you and your girlfriend at the Met Gala.” Her judgment was clear.
“That’s an ex-girlfriend now.” I needed to clarify that fact, “Look, I may appear to be a playboy if you only looked at tabloids. What you don’t know was that all those women came chasing me!”
“Cry me a river…being chased and captured by beautiful women.”
“I know I won’t get much sympathy from you. I haven’t been able to be anonymous since I made my first $1,000,000.” I wasn’t bragging. It was a matter of fact. I went from a lab geek to billionaire status within 7 years of graduating from college. It was unheard of at the time and the story fascinated people, and all the drama with models and actresses sold magazines.
“Tell me why you chose this place.” She twirled her hair with nervous anticipation.
“I always wanted to visit Costa Rica and be surrounded by nature, and this rehab center is practically off-grid. I can finally take a break from the media and my life. The media is always looking for something to use against me. They can be rather ruthless digging into my trash and ambushing me during my daily routine. If there is a rumor of me checking myself into a rehab, there is no telling how they will spin the story.” I had to admit there were benefits of being off-grid.
Her eyes were the windows to the soul. The spark within carried the torch of unrequited passion.
“It must be quite the hardship to have all of that attention. I’m sure you sleep soundly at night rolling around in your cold hard cash.” Her contempt for everything to do with capitalism was written across her forehead in indelible ink.
She had a bad opinion about me. Somehow I had to change that.
“It’s nice not to have to worry, but I don’t spend lavishly.” I was trying to paint myself out of the corner she put me in.
“I will say your humanitarian efforts have shown you have a social conscience.” I was swimming in the vast sea of her blue eyes.
“I don’t go around advertising the charities I have implemented in my father’s name.” He was always in the back of my mind.
“It sounds like you might have some unresolved issues about him.” It sounded clinical, but her eyes shone with the brilliance of the sun.
“This is my way of keeping him alive forever.” The swell of her breasts was hard not to focus on.
The yellow dress was well fitted and celebrated the curves of her body.
“I admire your restraint not to scream it from the tallest building. Some in your position would purposely put on a show for the press. I still think there’s more you could do, but that’s only my personal opinion.” She wasn’t shy about saying what was on her mind. I like that.
Her voice was in a lower register, but her feelings shined through like the blazing sun.
“I do sometimes feel guilty about my good fortune. I finally woke up one day and decided to start a new page in my story.” Why was I telling her any of this?
“That doesn’t sound easy.”
“It didn’t happen in a week. I got lucky with my investment as I only came to some small amount of money after the 2008 financial meltdown and was able to buy stocks at the bottom.” It was luck and timing, I wasn’t an investment genius by any means.
“I’ve never really understood the stock market. It’s confusing to the average man or woman.” There wasn’t any confusion to the sizzling chemistry in the space between us.
“What makes you think you know me?”
“I’ve read your unauthorized biography. I imagine much of it was embellished to sell books.” The book was mainly designed to bolster my public image. My company’s illegal dumping story was hard to overcome despite all the recovery efforts and donations made to all sorts of environmental non-profit groups. The investigation uncovered the culprit and resulted in a major shakeup in the middle management.
“I still have several copies. They are going fast in a fire sale for half price. That should tell you how good they did on the shelves.” I was using my listening skills to soften her opinion about me.
It wasn’t easy to get a read on her.
“I didn’t pay for my copy. I borrowed it from a friend.” I punched my chest with my fist pretending it was a knife she was using to hurt me with her words.
“You wound me, but maybe you can make it up to me by having dinner with me.” It was a good transition.
I think she was even impressed by how I had parlayed her comment into a dinner invitation.
“I will have to think about it. I don’t make it a habit to dine with a billionaire.” The last word was emphasized with distaste in her mouth.
“I would love to see you again.” I almost stumbled over the words.
“I’m sure I will see you around.” This was my cue to leave her in peace. I knew better than to overstay my welcome.
“Talking to you has been the highlight of my stay here. It would be my honor to continue our conversation.” I didn’t want to lay it on too thick and appear ingenuous.
“Quit while you are ahead.” I backed away slowly with my hands in the air.
It wasn’t easy to walk away from what was making my heart want to jump out of my chest.
“I will win you over. I always get what I want.” I wanted her to know my intention.
“Be careful what you wish for and you just might get it.”
“Would that be so bad?” I wanted to touch her hand, but it was too soon.
“I can see a cardboard cutout of your body running through the door when things get too serious.” I wasn’t thinking of a long-term engagement. Maybe she was.
An intimate gathering of my friends and family on a beach in front of a priest would suffice.
The very idea of marriage gave me hives. I didn’t feel the same way when I was thinking about Erin.
I was going to do everything I could to continue our spirited verbal sparring. Our time together was fleeting, but I forgot all about the physical manifestation of my illness.
Dr. Evans told me I was getting better. The tools she had given me to cope were helping to keep the shadows of my past from overwhelming me.
I no longer hated Francesca. I still didn’t want anything to do with her, but I didn’t pray for a long and prolonged illness to take her from this mortal coil. It was progress.
I wanted her to be happy. I didn’t think she ever would be, but it wasn’t my place to give her the structure she was looking for.
CHAPTER 9
Erin
It had been a few days since meeting Tyler. Each time we saw each other it was like the first time all over again. I found myself staring at the stars of his baby blue eyes unable to move a muscle without betraying the true intention building up inside.
I was waiting for him on the beach in our customary spot. It was out of the way and private enough that we had some time to ourselves. I was still feeling hungry but I was substituting my need for sex with deep conversations with Tyler. At times, our conversation turned into spirited debates. We jumped from religion to politics to favorite movies to each other’s hopes and dreams. And of course, there was no shortage of sexual innuendo.
He had no idea why I was at this rehab center. I was reluctant to tell him anything. I was afraid he would find me with too much baggage and move on to a girl with less drama in her life. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, I was interested in him e
nough that I care about his judgment of me. I wondered when I should tell him. Then again, I should not get my hopes up. I might never see him again after the treatment was over.
“I hope you haven’t been waiting long. My session with Dr. Evans was a bit more in depth than I would have liked.” He was agitated and looked like he had gone through the wringer.
“I know what you mean.” I was in the unique position to empathize.
“She made me see things about myself which in retrospect could seem ugly to others.” My first impression of him being a playboy looking to get his next score was off the mark.
He still wanted to sleep with me, but he wasn’t in any hurry to toss good sense out the window. It was just a matter of time.
“We all came here for different reasons. There’s no reason for us to discuss it.” I didn’t want to tell him my reason for being in therapy. It wasn’t the right time yet.
“I get this feeling you don’t want to discuss our therapy.” He was rather astute.
“It’s probably better we both stay out of each other’s business. There’s no telling how detrimental it would be to the both of us if we were to share personal information about our treatment.” He was handsome, debonair, and had the air of superiority.
“Erin, I haven’t been able to think of much besides you.” Really, have you now.
“Need I remind you about the rules?” I had to be tough and stand strong.
“We haven’t done much more than talk. You have been reluctant to go out on a date with me. I know it can’t be my looks. This isn’t just a face a mother will love.” He winked at me and laughed a little. I felt like he was playing a part and trying to find the right words to lower my guard long enough to slip in between my legs.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want to hear what is in your heart.” He was attempting to make me walk down a dangerous path.
“I have this insane desire to do something reckless and uncalled for.”
Her Secret: A Billionaire Romance Page 5