by Gia Riley
I wake up covered in sweat, searching for the closet door. When I realize it was nothing more than a nightmare, I clutch my pillow wishing I could erase the past from my mind. I’ve come so far since those days, and I’m worried I’m slowly slipping back into the darkness. Maybe it’s because of the changes that go along with moving away or the concussion. It could be my infatuation with Kipton for all I know. But I don’t want the pain to come back. Mom may have left him, but he’ll never be erased from my memory.
Now that I’m awake, the relief of the purge is gone. But, I crave it all over again. When I feel like I can’t hold it in another second, I slip out of the room and find the closest bathroom. It’s late, so I have my pick of stalls. Without wasting any more time, I choose the first one and release the hatred living inside of me. As painful as it is, it’s the relief I desperately needed—it always takes away the pain.
Twice in twenty four hours, Sophie. You’re slipping. I don’t even notice Drew standing outside the restroom. I bump into his chest, and stagger backward. “Excuse me,” I dazedly mutter.
“You okay, Sophie?”
I give him a thumbs up and keep walking. Only now do I realize the chattering of my teeth. Adrenaline’s coursing through my body so rapidly my heart is pounding in my chest.
“Sophie, you all right?” A sleepy Cara asks.
“I’m fine. Just had to go to the bathroom. Go back to bed.” More lies.
“Okay.”
ANOTHER HEADACHE FILLED DAY PASSES and by the time morning comes again, all I want to do is sleep in. But I can’t because once I do get back into the gym, I’ll only regret it.
Cara’s already left for her first class. The dreaded eight in the morning class she wasn’t able to avoid like the rest of us. The girl loves her sleep, too, so I feel sorry for anyone who crosses paths with her this morning.
I feel like hell on my way to the dining hall to get my daily granola fix. The café is bustling this time of the morning and although I look as bad as I feel, I don’t have to worry considering I only know a handful of people in Alabama. As I sit alone at a corner table, I find myself eyeing each person as they exit the line mentally cataloguing which of their features I want to steal. There’s no shortage of good looking people on this campus, that’s for sure. So far I’ve taken the brunettes long legs, the blondes amazing green eyes, and the wardrobe of the red head. All put together, I’d be a dream.
It keeps me busy enough that I almost forget about my test results. They can’t be great considering the thumping in my head refuses to go away for more than an hour or two at a time. Taking it easy would be the smart thing to do, but it’s killing me not being able to train. Since I can’t show up sweaty to see the doctor who put me on restriction, I power walk instead of jogging to his campus office. He said no running, but if my feet never leave the pavement entirely, I’m still technically following the rules. And it’s cardio regardless.
The office is just opening and I step aside a few window washers already working hard. I nervously clamber inside, waiting my turn at the front desk.
“Can I help you?” The receptionist asks.
“Yes. I need to see the doctor about my test results. My name’s Sophie.”
She smiles warmly. “He’s expecting you this morning. I have your papers right here.”
Before she can buzz his office, I notice him chatting with another student athlete in the small waiting area. As soon as he finishes, he acknowledges me. “Sophie, you can come back.”
“Thank you.”
He eyes me up and down, making me nervous. “I saw you hustling by my window and figured you were on your way in. You’re not pushing it are you? You look tired.”
I’ll have to be more careful. “No. I’ve been taking it easy.”
“Okay. Have a seat.” He opens my file and pulls out the transcribed report from my CT scan. “The test results were as I suspected. No fracture or anything serious to worry about, but you’re still consistent with a concussion. I’d like you to remain out of practice for the rest of this week and the next.”
“Shit,” I mutter. I was expecting this news, but it doesn’t make it any easier to hear. There’s no way I can afford to miss that much time. Coach won’t like it.
“I promise you it’s standard. You won’t see any of the football players back in action for a few weeks after sustaining the same injury. With your permission, I’ll send a leave of absence form to your coach so he has your diagnosis in writing. It won’t affect your standing with the university as far as scholarship money is concerned.”
“Sure, that’s fine. Is there anything I can do in the meantime?”
“Take the rest of the week to rest as I already said. Next week you can resume your workouts, but scale them down.”
This isn’t the news I was hoping for. “Okay.”
“I’ll check in with you in a few days. I have your contact info and please come in right away if anything changes or worsens.”
“I will. Thanks for seeing me.”
“You’re welcome, Sophie. That’s what I’m here for.” We shake hands before parting ways.
As soon as I’m outside, I pull out Coach Evans business card and dial his number. He asked me to call him and as much as I’d rather not, I know I have to face the music. Hoping I get his answering machine, I’m nervous when he actually picks up his phone.
“Hello.”
“Hi. It’s Sophie. From the team.”
“Hi Sophie. What can I do for you today? Are you feeling any better?”
“I was just calling with my test results. The doctor is sending you paperwork, but I wanted to tell you myself like you asked. With my concussion and all, I have to miss this week and next. I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Accidents happen. Did he find anything else on the scan? I assume it was negative?”
“Yes. It was. It’s just a waiting game now until I can come back.”
“We look forward to having you back.”
“Thank you.”
“Call me anytime to check-in. Okay?”
“Sure, I will. Thank you.”
“Talk to you soon, Sophie. Take care.”
“You too. Bye.”
Although that once again went better than expected, I’m still totally bummed I’ll be missing more time than I’d wanted. Tempted to give my body a test, I want to show Coach Evans I’m a hard worker despite the warning from the doctor. I’m sure he’s being overly cautious considering the danger of gymnastics.
Once the doctor’s office is out of view, I start to jog slowly. When the coast is completely clear, I concentrate on each stride, digging deeper the farther I go. With the wind in my hair, I live for the exercise I’ve missed out on.
Considering my condition, I make good time for the first half mile of my run, but I stop moving altogether when the pounding in my skull is back in full force. I rest in the grass under a shade tree and wish I had thought to bring some water with me. I’m a long way from the dorm, so I know I need to start walking back or I’ll miss my next class. I’m wobbly when I get back on my feet and reach out for the tree trunk to steady myself. “This was stupid,” I say to nobody but myself.
After walking for a solid five minutes, I look around and realize I’m not sure which direction I came from. The store fronts on each corner are identically designed creating further confusion. Having only been in this town for a short time with little time to explore, I have to go with my gut and take the street to my right. I walk for a few more blocks and things start to look vaguely familiar. This has to be the way I came. Two more blocks and I stop directly in front of the wrestling house where Kipton lives. That explains why the street looked familiar. From what I remember, if I take two rights and a left, I should run right into my building. Or would it be two lefts and a right? Stomping my foot in frustration, I decide to go right.
“Are you here to see me or dance on the sidewalk?”
I jump, startled by the company
I wasn’t aware I had. Kipton’s leaning over the railing of his porch watching me with an amused expression on his face. This day just keeps getting better. “Which way is my dorm?”
“You’re lost?” he questions.
“Yeah. I went to the doctor’s office for my test results.”
“Sophie, the doctor’s office is on the other side of campus. How did you end up over here?” He looks concerned and walks down the porch steps to meet me on the sidewalk.
I shrug my shoulders, afraid to state the obvious. “I went for a run.”
“Did he clear you?”
I kick around a stone on the ground with my sneaker so I don’t have see his less than amused expression when I tell him the truth. “Not exactly.”
“What did he tell you?” His voice hardens ever so slightly and I know he won’t like the truth.
Refusing to lie to Kipton, I fess up and admit my wrong. “To take the rest of the week off and next week I can start working out in the weight room.”
He crosses his arms and forces me to look at him with his body language alone. He’s angry. “So, you didn’t care for his news and did your own thing instead.”
I hate how childish he makes my decision sound. “Something like that.”
He nods his head knowingly, aware that I didn’t follow instructions. “I can’t tell you what to do, Sophie, but you need to listen to him. I don’t want to worry about you roaming the streets all because you got mad.”
My natural reaction is to get defensive. I’ve always had to fight my way through conversation at home. “I’m trying, Kipton.”
“Are you?” he challenges.
“Yes!”
“You sure about that? You look really tired.”
“I didn’t sleep well, not that it matters.”
“Of course it matters, Sophie.”
I want to ask him why. But I don’t. “I have a class to get to.” I start walking in the direction I’m facing, not caring if it’s the right way or not. I’ll find the dorm one way or another.
“Sophie.”
I wave him off, not bothering to stop and turn around. The last thing I need is another lecture about screwing up. At the end of the street I turn left, praying it will bring me another block closer to the dorm. Just as I become more confident about my navigation skills and increase my pace, a loud horn stops me in my tracks. “Jesus.” I clutch my chest from the shock.
“Hop in.”
Hesitantly, I lean on the side of the car, peering into the open window. Damn. Kipton looks delicious with his aviators on. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Well, you wouldn’t stop long enough to get into my car. So here I am.” No shit.
“If I get in, are you going to yell at me?”
“Nope. I’m only taking your pretty little behind back where it belongs.” Every ounce of anger inside of me dissipates from the sight of his smile alone.
“You sure do know how to charm a lady, Kipton.” I open the door to his car and slide inside.
“Where to my lady?” he jokes.
I laugh even though I don’t want to. “Very funny.”
“Well you seem to know the lay of the land around here so well.” I punch him in the arm for mocking me. “Ouch!” He pulls a U-turn and purposely makes a big show about going in the correct direction back to my room. Point made, Kipton.
“Thanks for the lift.” And I am thankful I don’t have to worry about missing class. I’ll even have enough time to take a quick shower before I leave.
“You want to get some lunch?” He glances at me before driving through the next intersection.
“Na. I’m good. I had some granola before my run.”
“That’s it?”
“It was plenty.”
“Chicks,” he says shaking his head. “Well, I could eat a house so I’m going to get something before class. You have any plans tonight?”
“Nothing other than my usual school work.”
“Tonight’s the monthly under the stars on the football field. They play a movie on the big screen in the end zone. You want to go with me?”
“Like on a date?” I blurt out.
“Yeah, a date. Would that be okay with you?” He reaches over and squeezes my thigh.
I push my body into the seat, digging my feet into the floor mat to get a grip on reality. A date with Kipton. Maybe Cara wasn’t talking complete nonsense last night. “I’ll go with you.”
“I’ll pick you up at eight then.” He stops the car next to the sidewalk and leaves it running. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I chance a peek at him before I leave. “Okay. Thanks for the ride.” I climb out of the bucket seat and he coughs suddenly but regains his composure when I look at him wearily. Plastering a panty-melting smile on his handsome face, he’s as cool as can be. “Anytime, beautiful.”
I CHOKE ON MY OWN spit as Sophie gets out of the car. Her ass looks so damn hot in her skin tight spandex pants. I think their called yoga pants or some shit. I wait until she’s inside the building before I pull away so I can enjoy each retreating step she takes. It’s going to take every ounce of willpower in my reserves to keep my hands from smothering her body the second I’m with her tonight. She’s agreed to a date and I’m not about to screw it up.
After stopping in to see Momma June at the diner, I return to the house with a take-out bag filled with enough food to feed half the house. Thankfully, a few of my roommates are back from morning classes and grab the bag out of my hands before I’m entirely through the front door. As I sink my teeth into my own burger, my phone rings. “Talk to me,” I say around a mouth full.
“Hey, Kipton?”
“Yeah, who’s this?”
“It’s Drew, from Johnson Hall.”
“I know who you are and I know where to find you.” How could I forget about walking in on his naked ass? I drop my burger onto the paper wrapper, shuttering at the memory. Not much turns my stomach, but naked male ass cracks having sex with my sister are definitely are on the list.
“I didn’t think you’d forget. I got your number from Cara’s paperwork, I hope that’s okay. Anyway, I was hoping you could stop by the next time you come to see your sister. You know, so we could talk. Things got a little awkward the other night.” I give him props. He doesn’t sound the least bit nervous about approaching me even after I found him on top of my sister.
I’m curious about what he wants to discuss, so I take the bait. “Tonight should work. I’m picking up Sophie at eight. Does seven thirty work for you?”
“Yeah, man. It does.”
“See you then.” I’ll hear him out, but I’ll never be comfortable with the idea of him screwing my sister if that’s what he’s looking for. He’s lucky I’m a patient man.
After finishing my lunch I debate texting Sophie, but I don’t want to come on too strong too fast. Instead, I busy myself on the Internet, looking up the hours of The Perfect Petal flower shop. I have no idea if she’s a flower girl, but usually chicks appreciate the sentiment. Somehow I end up on an edible fruit arrangement page, but toss that idea out the window. With my next class looming, I decide to think about my options during class. Considering it has nothing to do with my major, I’m sure I’ll be bored out of my mind. I needed one more second level science requirement to graduate. Since I’m not into dissecting any creatures in biology or worrying about elements on the periodic table in chemistry that left me with the stars. How bad can astronomy be?
Looking around for an empty seat at one of the tables in the back of the room, I spot a blonde in the right corner, texting on her phone. Upon closer inspection, I discover this is by far the best class I’ve ever taken. The seat next to her has my name written all over it.
Sneaking up behind her, I cover her eyes with my hand. “Guess who?” I whisper.
Clawing at my hands, she spins around with fear written all over her face. She softens once she realizes it’s only me. “What are you doing in here?” she questions. Her eyes dar
t around the room as the other students stare at us. Let’em look.
I toss my book bag onto the table and sit down. “I’m here for class. Same as you.”
“You’re taking astronomy?”
“Yeah, why’s that so hard to believe?” I pull out my notebook and await her answer. This should be good.
“It isn’t, I guess. But I didn’t peg you for a star gazer.”
I lean closer to her. “We do have a date tonight you know. Under the stars.” She blushes and nervously looks down at the table. She leans over and digs into her book bag, for what I’m not sure. Her face is on fire and she doesn’t want me to see.
I wrap my fingers around her arm and pull her into an upright positon while using my foot to scoot her chair closer to mine. “Look at me, Sophie.”
She stares down at my foot controlling her movement. Although cautious, she finally looks at me without shying away.
“Don’t be nervous around me, okay? Be Sophie. Say whatever you want whenever you want. Can you do that?”
“I can try,” she responds while chewing on the end of her pen. I reach up to her nose and tap the end because I love the way she scrunches up her face each time I do it. If she wasn’t already adorable enough, this assures it.
We don’t get to discuss anything else with the professor taking his place in front of the whiteboard to begin class. The first thing he covers are lab partners. Luckily, it’s the person seated next to us. That worked out perfectly if I do say so myself.
The first hour of class passes quickly with little nudges and scribbled notes to Sophie on pieces of paper. A few times she had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing at the ridiculous conversation.
As a special treat, we’re moved to the planetarium to finish class. As we file into the seating area, Professor Bell describes what will be our world for the next semester. He rambles on saying something about being able to map out the entire sky by the end of the course. It sounds boring as hell, but I’ll do whatever he wants if it gets me sitting in the dark next to Sophie twice a week. Sign me up for extra credit too.