“You, EJ Way, nervous,” Jazzie said. “I swear my stereotype of you famous people is being shattered. You're nervous. She still doesn't know you like her?”
“No,” Ellie said. “I don't think she has a clue. I haven't been sending her any signals.”
“I don't know. I think that you should just wait for a moment and kiss her. Actions speak louder than words.”
“I don't know. What if she freaks out on me?” Ellie asked. “I was thinking of saying something like ‘you've been wasting your time with all these dates. I'm someone who won't stand you up. I love spending time with you, and I wish you would go out with me.’”
“Too wordy. Just kiss her,” Jazzie said. “Then text me in the morning.” Jazzie laughed.
“You're not helping,” Ellie said. She felt her chest tightening. She ran her sweaty palms up and down her jeans.
“You need to get pumped up,” Jazzie said. She pulled over into a parking spot.
“What you doing?” Ellie asked.
“Wait. I don't mess with my phone while driving,” Jazzie said as she picked up her phone and scrolled down the screen, plugged the phone into the stereo. “Let's get pumped to this. This gets me going when I'm down or low on energy. Hope it works on you!” A crowd’s roar came out of the speakers. “It's a boot leg, hope you don't mind. I bought it before I knew you!” Jazzie yelled over the noise.
“What do you do when they are all against you, your day seems wasted, your heart is broken, and all that?” a recording of Ellie yelled.
“Take it up!” the crowd yelled back. Take It Up started playing through the speakers.
“This is from my first San Francisco concert two years ago!” Ellie yelled over the music.
Jazzie started making movements with her hand and singing along. Jazzie looked at Ellie in the rear view mirror and raised her eyebrows to Ellie. Ellie smiled back and started to sing along. Jazzie rolled down all the windows and turned up the radio. They took turns singing parts of the song.
Up and down this is my town
Stepping this way I'm coming through
no room for any of you
My love is pure and won't be tainted by this
My muscles, these muscles have a plan
Taking it up, take it up!
Ellie was delivered pumped up around the corner from Ria's building. She stood in the elevator holding the handles of the two bags from Hot Mama’s. They were high quality, gray cloth bags with a fancy H and M on the side. The smell of hot sauces, gator meat balls and rice filled the elevator.
If the elevator got stuck, I’d be armed with a feast for a queen. Too bad I have nothing to drink.
Ellie pictured Ria's response when she saw Ellie standing there with Hot Mama's food. She felt like a knight riding on an alligator across the moat and up the tower to claim her princess. She imagined how Ria's face would light up, a beautiful smile dancing across her face. She wondered if Ria would put that hot red dress back on. The elevator doors opened snapping Ellie out of her trance and cheesy grin.
Ellie knocked on the door and it swung open.
“Hey Ellie, you and I get to spend time together tonight!” Maggie said. “I have to go finish some things in my room.”
“Yes, and I brought us all dinner,” Ellie said as Maggie hurried toward her bedroom. Ria passed Maggie in the hallway and rounded the corner into the living room. Ria was wearing her light blue scrubs.
“Hi Ria,” Ellie said as she held up the two bags of food. So much for the red dress.
“Hi, so, change in plans again. Plan ‘C’ I guess. There is this surgery they need me on at the hospital. It's perfect for my study and a journal article I’m working on,” Ria said.
“Oh, I didn't realize you were doing a study—” Ellie started.
“I'm not sure when I'll be back. I might need to stay overnight at the hospital. Julie can't Maggie-sit tonight. Would you be able to stay over and get Maggie off to school?” Ria was still rambling.
“Sure, I imagine she's pretty self-sufficient and—” Ellie started and was interrupted again.
“Yes, she gets up, has cereal, makes her lunch, you know,” Ria said.
Ria walked back to her bedroom to finish getting ready. Ellie put the food on the counter. She ran both of her hands through her hair and left her fingers interlocked on the top of her head. She grabbed an assortment of appetizers and an entrée, putting them in a bag for Ria. Ria came out of the bedroom with her purse over her shoulder.
She yelled into Maggie's room, “Later, gator. Listen to Ellie.”
“Yes, I will be fine,” Maggie robotically called out.
“You can sleep in my bed. It's wicked comfortable,” Ria said to Ellie. “The shorts and tshirts are in my drawer.”
“Okay,” Ellie answered. “Here, you have to eat.” Ellie handed her the bag.
“Thanks,” Ria said. “Sorry about dinner and all, but you were planning to Maggie-sit originally, right?”
“Yeah, a little disappointing,” Ellie said. “But I guess you're saving lives. How can I compete with that, right?” Ellie tried to sound upbeat.
“Yeah, you know, there is nothing like a complicated, unique surgery to cheer me up,” Ria said. “It's weird, you know, it's kind of a high for me.”
“Yeah, I guess I can understand that,” Ellie said.
“Thanks. Have a good night,” Ria said. Ria walked out the door and shut it without giving Ellie a hug. Ellie turned around facing the counter of food and there was a knock at the door. She went to the peephole and it was Ria. Ellie smiled and opened the door.
“Forgot my keys,” Ria said as she grabbed her keys off the counter. “Good night.”
“Good night,” Ellie responded.
“Wait!” Ellie called and Ria turned around. The door stayed open behind her. “Umm… I wanted to let you... I wanted to tell you something.”
“Oh, okay,” Ria looked out the door and then back at Ellie.
“Well, I just wanted to say that it’s good to see you. Even if it's only for a few seconds. Can I at least have a hug good night?”
“Of course, sorry I’m so rushed,” Ria said as she smiled, put the food bag on the floor and stepped toward Ellie. Ellie held Ria tightly and then released her. “Good luck, break a heart, or sew an intestine. Not sure what to tell surgeons for luck.” Ria laughed, and Ellie forced a smile.
“Thanks, Ellie. Text me if you need anything. My team will read me the text if you send it while I’m operating.” Ria left again. As the door shut behind Ria, Ellie looked down at her arm. She swore she could see a tattoo of a heart forming on her sleeve.
Ellie and Maggie ate the expensive Hot Mama’s food. Maggie tasted each new food, then wrote in her notebook her reaction and carefully thought about each one.
“Mom missed some amazing food,” Maggie said.
“Naw, I sent some with her,” Ellie said.
“You treat her nice,” Maggie said. “I've never seen someone be so nice to my mom other than my grandfather.”
“She deserves it,” Ellie said.
“That is nice of you,” Maggie said. “Why don't you go out on dates with her?”
“What makes you think that I like women?” Ellie asked.
“You're a lesbian aren't you?” Maggie asked.
“Yes,” Ellie said. “How'd you know?”
“Please,” Maggie said. “I am very observant for my age.”
“I guess you are,” Ellie said.
“She's been going on dates,” Maggie said. “Why?”
“That's one of those questions I'm going to direct you back to your mother to ask.”
“She said that she wants to find someone to go places with, have fun, and laugh with,” Maggie said.
“That sounds about right,” Ellie said.
“I'm not dumb. I know she left the kissing part out. I know what people do with people they are dating,” Maggie said.
“They don't always kiss, but sometimes they do.
It's sometimes hard for adults to talk to kids about kissing stuff,” Ellie said.
“You know,” Maggie said. “Mom can do all that stuff—laughing, having fun—with you.”
“Hmm,” Ellie said.
“Is it awkward for you to talk about this?” Maggie asked.
“A little bit,” Ellie said.
“At least I didn't say that she could kiss you,” Maggie said.
Ellie laughed, “You're right, you didn't.”
“I hear you guys at night,” Maggie said. “It made it on to my favorite top eleven.”
“What do you mean?” Ellie asked.
“I hear you guys laughing,” Maggie said. “I have never heard Mom laugh so much. Even when we have family visiting or we are in Chicago visiting family. She laughs so much. Her abdominal muscles are probably in shape because of you.”
“We do have fun,” Ellie said. Maggie's watch alarm went off.
“Time for bed,” Maggie said.
Ellie surfed through the list of movies and then crawled up on the couch. She thought of Ria's bed. She was trying to stay away from it, but was drawn to Ria's room. She got up and walked to Ria's room. She turned on the light and shut the door behind her.
Ellie walked to Ria's dresser, pulling open the first drawer. It was strewn with silk and lace panties. She averted her eyes from the mixture of colors and textures, but a picture in the corner caught her eye. She grabbed the picture. It was a picture of Ria holding a baby. The baby had Maggie's eyes. Standing next to Ria was a woman with short blond hair. She was gorgeous. She was a little shorter than Ria and had a muscular figure. Her body looked amazing. She was tan and had a beautiful smile. Ellie put the picture back and opened the next drawer. She dug through piles of tshirts grabbing one from the bottom.
She tore off her flannel, t-shirt, and then bra. She slid Ria's shirt over her torso. Ria's scent swarmed around her as she pulled her head through the t-shirt. Ellie felt a fluttering in her chest. She opened the next drawer and found a pair of mesh shorts. They slipped off her hips, so she folded the waistband a few times until they sat snugly in place. She leaned back on top of the bed. The thick comforter engulfed her. She took a deep breath and inhaled Ria's scent of berries and something that smelled like fruit and the beach. The pillows were extra fluffy and her head felt like it was on a cloud. She sank into the bed.
Moments later, Ellie reluctantly got out of bed and turned the lights out around the apartment. She walked back into Ria's room and left the door open. She pulled back the covers and sheet, slipping into Ria's side of the bed. It was the side she saw Ria sleeping on the first night they met. It was the only side that had pillows, and the side that had a nightstand covered in hair ties, a bottle of water, a box of tissues, and an ereader.
Ellie grabbed her phone from the pants she had left sitting on the floor and put it on the nightstand. She stared around the dark, unfamiliar room. She had slept in many unfamiliar rooms while on tour.
She texted Ria. She knew an intern might be reading it to Ria so she typed several drafts before sending it. Snug in bed. Sending you positive vibes for the surgery. Good night.
Ellie tossed and turned; she was just not tired. She picked up Ria's ereader and turned it on. Ria was 32% done with a book called By Any Water. Ellie typed the name of the book into her phone and discovered it was a lesbian romance set in Maine. Ellie marked what page Ria was on, toggled to the beginning, and started reading.
The book was about a woman named Claire who broke up with her long-term girlfriend and then took broken-hearted refuge in Maine. She rented a cabin and spent days by the dozens of lakes in the area. Predictably, she met a local outdoorsy woman named Stacia who happened to keep biking and kayaking in the same places that Claire was visiting. Finally, Claire convinced Stacia to be her tour guide. The book was full of attractions, mild flirtations, yearnings and sexual tension. Ellie read page after page as Stacia and Claire traded flirtations and lusted for each other.
Ellie imagined Ria coming home in the middle of the night while she was sleeping, then climbing into the bed and one thing leading to another. Ellie electronically underlined certain parts of the e-book. She reached Ria's 32% mark at midnight, but kept reading. She kept underlining lines that made her think of Ria.
Ellie woke the next morning to the ereader next to her and to the sound of cartoons in the living room. When she got her bearings, she realized she was in Ria's bed. Maggie greeted her wearing a tiger-striped shirt, plaid pants, and a striped long-sleeve button shirt.
Maggie got herself ready, and coaxed a few bucks out of Ellie for ice cream at lunch. Ellie watched from the fifth floor as Maggie waited for the bus outside the apartment. Maggie said not to worry because there was an overbearing mother who waited down by them. From the living room window Ellie kept her eyes on the top of Maggie's head and orange backpack, until she was safely on the bus. I bet the kids are awful to her. I wish I could protect her from them.
Ellie turned around in the apartment and checked her schedule on her phone. It was eight o'clock and she did not have a meeting until eleven o'clock. She walked back into Ria's room and pulled the thick down comforter over the bed. She leaned down and pressed her nose against the pillow, again taking in one last shot of Ria's scent. She picked up the ereader and opened it. She noted where she had stopped reading and put the book back on the page Ria was reading. She went to a list of books Ria had read. Ria had a total of fifty-one books downloaded. Ellie took a picture of the list of books with her phone.
In the bathroom she shed the clothes she had borrowed from Ria and placed them on the vanity. She stepped into the bronze and orange tiled shower. The showerhead had several settings and Ellie tried them all. She picked up a slender bottle of mixed berry shampoo. She unscrewed the top and gently squeezed. She had found the source of part of Ria's scent. Ellie lathered it into her hair and let it sit for as long as she could. She rinsed it off and then washed her body with pink Dove soap. She imagined waking every morning and slipping into this shower. She could almost hear Ria's voice from the sink as she applied makeup or got ready for work.
Ellie dawdled getting ready. After a long shower, Ellie dried off and got dressed. She folded up Ria's t-shirt and shorts under the guise of washing them for Ria, but knowing she would wear them until they lost Ria's scent. She left her flannel on Ria's bed hoping Ria would wear it.
I hope that I run into Ria this morning, so I can clarify that I wanted a date last night. A real date, not a friend date. Would staying here until she gets home be weird? She has obviously worked all night and will want to come home and sleep.
Ellie felt tired and then she remembered she had stayed up late reading. She started to feel anxious and her chest tightened again. Ellie grabbed a yellow pizza flyer, flipped it to the blank back, and frantically wrote: Ria, Everything went great. Saw Maggie onto the bus. I hope the surgery went well. Call or text when you can. Love, Ellie. P.S. You're right, your bed is “wicked comfortable.” I can't wait to get to sleep in it again.
Jazzie picked up Ellie.
“That food was great last night,” Jazzie said. “So?”
Ellie was too tired to try to sidestep the question. “She stood me up. But I did get to share the food with her daughter Maggie. She liked the rice and some of the pasta.”
“Stood up? Who has the nerve to do that to you?”
“She doesn't know I'm EJ Way. I'm Ellie to her,” Ellie said.
“So what? She has to know you're great!”
“I know,” Ellie said. “She had this important, unique surgery and...”
“I hope you don't mind me saying, but you're hot and have a rocking body, and are so sweet.”
“Jazzie, believe me no offense taken. I need the ego boost.”
“Wait, she stood you up, but you're here this morning. You didn't...”
“Yes, I babysat and stayed over while she was at the hospital. I know, I'm a doormat, a chicken,” Ellie said and then changed the subject
. “Hey, can you do me a favor?”
“I'm very aware that you changed the subject, but yes, what do you need?” Jazzie asked.
“Can you stop on the corner here? I'll only be a minute,” Ellie said. Jazzie pulled over and Ellie jumped out. She walked in and bought an ereader.
CHAPTER 9
Later that day Ria texted Ellie. Ellie took a deep breath before she read the text.
Ria said, Did you get that food from Hot Mama’s?
Yes, was it good? Maggie liked some of it. How was surgery? Ellie asked.
Ria said, Surgery was a success. But Hot Mama’s? How?
Ellie said, I have connections. There are a lot of things you don't know about me. How was it?
It was delicious. Secrets huh? Intriguing, Ria said.
Ellie smiled at the hint of Ria's flirtation and answered, Finally, you're intrigued.
Ellie beat Dina to the punch and texted her, Okay, I spent hundreds of dollars on a dinner for a woman that I'm madly in love with. To be left to watch her daughter as she left for work. I'm hopeless. Go ahead send me the insults.
Dina texted, Sound like you need Dina and Davie to come to the rescue.
CHAPTER 10
Ellie wrote a song.
“Towering Love”
There must be a spell cast against us
for you to miss the love I'm sending
You're searching for the fairest princess Tucked in tightly with walls high, guards on alert
I'm badly missing you
You're missing me
Dodging arrows
Swimming the moat
Sword fighting the strongest of your guards
You spend your nights on your balcony
throwing wishes at the dying stars
Sighing wishing for somebody to hold your heart
I'm down below free climbing the castle tower
and calling out
See my towering love
There must be some spell cast against us
Love's Autograph Page 6