“Opening for anyone I know.”
“No,” Ellie answered. That’s not a lie. I am the opening act. I'm headlining. There was more silence and Ellie could only hear Ria's breath over the phone.
“I think that you think dating is a bad idea,” Ria said.
“Why do you think that?” Ellie asked.
“Because you seemed angry when I came home from my date last night,” Ria said. “You didn't stay as long and didn't joke around as much.”
“It was after two in the morning and I guess it's because I was looking forward to your after-date massacre parties,” Ellie said. “The last few times I've come over, we haven't spent much time together.”
“Okay, let's plan to hang out sometime then,” Ria said.
“I'd like that,” Ellie said.
“Anyway” Ria said. “I don't think Gwen would fit in my life. Should I mess around with someone who wouldn’t fit with Maggie and me?” Ria asked.
“I don't know. Depends.”
“On what?” Ria asked.
“What you're looking for. Are you looking for someone to sweep you off your feet or someone to have a good time with?” Ellie asked.
“I don't know what I deserve,” Ria answered.
Ellie answered, “Want and deserve are two very different things. In my eyes you deserve the moon and the stars.” Ellie heard an acoustic guitar in the background.
Ria said, “How did she get in my closet. Geez, she's going to wake the neighbors. That’s all I need.”
Bad timing. Every time I try to flirt with Ria, it goes unnoticed.
“Put her on the phone,” Ellie said.
“What? You sure?” Ria asked.
“Let me talk to her.” Ellie heard Ria walk down the hall and the acoustic guitar got louder.
“Hello?” Maggie's voice came over the phone.
“Hi, good morning, Maggie. You like the guitar?” Ellie asked.
“Yes, I wanted yours but this one will do. I mean Mom told me to say thank you.”
“You're welcome. Okay, I know you hate rules, but even I have to abide by rules. You have to only play when Mom says you can. And you have to give your fingers time to rest and re-energize. Deal?” Ellie asked.
“I wanted to get my F right. That one is hard,” Maggie said.
Ellie said, “Yeah, that one is tricky. I'll show you. If you don't give your fingers a rest, that would be bad for your guitar career.”
“You coming over now? Mom, she's coming over now, get some pants on and a bra!” Ellie pictured Ria in a t-shirt and underwear. This unfocused her for a couple of seconds. “Ellie?” Maggie said.
“I’m not coming over now, but go plan with your mom when I can come over. No more guitar, alright? You'll get me in trouble with your mom, okay?”
“Deal, but not a deal you have to sign okay?” Maggie answered.
Ellie said, “Deal, and I'll not sign it.”
Ria got back on the phone, “I'm so in love with you.” The breath shot out of Ellie.
“See you should've been my number seven, but you're still a perfect ten,” Ellie almost gagged on her own cheesy words.
Ria answered, “I think the no sleep is getting to you. Let me talk to Maggie and we'll have you for dinner and lessons.”
“Sounds great,” Ellie said as she started to doze off. “Good night.”
“Good night, my friend,” Ria said. The undesired words “my friend” played in Ellie's head as she fell asleep.
CHAPTER 12
Ellie's next few days were full of magazine, tour, and poster photo shoots. Ellie's cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and she yearned for a moment where several people were not staring at her, repositioning her, snapping pictures of her and dressing her. She woke up late Friday morning and decided to go out to lunch. She put on a t-shirt, flannel, jeans, and a baseball cap and called Jazzie for a ride.
Jazzie pulled up within ten minutes and Ellie hopped in the car.
“Where to?” Jazzie asked.
“Lunch,” Ellie said. “I want something different. Where do you go?”
“I love The Hidden Garden, it has a cool outdoor area,” Jazzie said.
“Sold,” Ellie said. “Let's go there.”
“Other side of town,” Jazzie said.
“That’s fine,” Ellie said. “I need to get out.” Jazzie navigated through the city as Ellie watched the scenery go by.
“So, your tour is coming up, right? You excited?”
“Not as much as usual. Maybe once it gets here I'll be okay. It requires a lot of energy.”
Jazzie responded, “I bet.”
“Yeah, and most of the energy isn’t only during the concert. It's spent on interviews, dodging fans, and being constantly monitored by bodyguards.”
“Sounds like a dream to me.”
“It was mine too. I know I must sound awful complaining about being famous.”
“A little,” Jazzie said.
“I appreciate the honesty,” Ellie said.
They reached The Hidden Garden and Ellie asked Jazzie to eat with her. Jazzie gladly accepted. Jazzie knew the hostess, and the hostess quickly recognized Ellie. Ellie knew the look in her eyes, and put her finger to her lips asking for a quick anonymity. At Jazzie's request, they were seated on the balcony, away from most of the patrons. The restaurant overlooked a lake. Halfway through the meal Jazzie got a text.
“Oh, great,” Jazzie said.
“What's up?”
“Well, I forgot that I'd signed up to do a transport at this time. Dispatch is asking for my ETA,” Jazzie said. “I lost track of time. It's not every day I get to have lunch with, you know, someone like you.”
“Well, let's get this to go then, and you can just drop me off on the way,” Ellie said.
“I apologize,” Jazzie said typing into her phone. “I texted them I'm fifteen minutes away, that should work.”
“No problem. We'll do this again,” Ellie said. “It's nice to have a new friend like you to have lunch with.”
Jazzie and Ellie got their lunches in to-go boxes and started their way out of the restaurant. By this time the balcony was full, and inside, the restaurant was packed.
“Ellie?” someone called from Ellie’s left. Ellie froze in a little bit of panic, but then realized her fans tend to call her EJ. Ellie stopped and Jazzie stopped alongside her. Ellie turned to see Ria sitting at a table alone with a menu in her hand. She was wearing blue scrubs.
“Ria,” Ellie said. “Hey.”
“Hi, how are you?” Ria said. “I didn't know you came here.”
“Well I don't, it's actually a first time for me, but definitely not my last. It was recommended,” Ellie pointed to Jazzie.
“Hi, I'm Ria,” Ria said and offered her hand.
“Jazzie,” Jazzie answered.
“The Jazzie?” Ria looked at Ellie. “Has to be. There aren't many Jazzies, I'd think.”
“You eating alone?” Ellie asked.
“Yes, rub it in,” Ria said. “I even thought about asking that social worker Mandy from my first pseudo date.” Ria laughed. “I’m sure Ellie told you that I'm somewhat of a bad date magnet.”
“You must be dating the wrong people,” Jazzie said. “Now if you were to go out with me.”
“Jazzie!” Ellie said. “You’re not her type.”
“What's her type?” Jazzie asked with her hands on her hips.
“Yes, what's my type?” Ria asked. “I really want to hear this.”
“Don't you have to get back to work?” Ellie asked Jazzie.
“Oh, I do. Nice meeting you Ria,” Jazzie said.
“You too, Jazzie. See you, Ellie,” Ria said as she looked back at her menu and Ellie and Jazzie walked away.
“What was that about 'the Jazzie'? You going to let her eat alone?”
“Oh crap, I told her I had a girlfriend named Jazzie. It was the first name that came to my mind. I had just met you.”
“No worries,” Jazzie said.
“Do you mind if I stay and eat with her? I'll find my own ride home.”
“Go, and good luck,” Jazzie said as she fist bumped her.
Ellie turned and walked back to Ria, “Do you want company?”
Ria looked up from her menu. “Don't feel bad about me. Go with Jazzie.”
“I don't feel bad for you, and Jazzie is going back to work. And having lunch with you'll most likely be the best part of my day.” Ellie added as she sat down.
“Alrighty then, didn't you eat already?” Ria asked.
“Jazzie was called back to work early, so I have a ton of uneaten lunch, so you better order quickly.”
The hostess walked over to their table.
“Excuse me, would you guys be interested in moving to the deck? We have a table that opened up,” the hostess asked. Ria looked at Ellie and Ellie motioned with her hand that it was up to Ria.
“I'd love to,” Ria said.
The two of them were led to the table where Ellie and Jazzie ate half a lunch. The hostess winked at Ellie as she filled her glass with water. Ria ordered a salad and then stared out at the water. Ellie followed her gaze and joined her in enjoying the scenery.
“Was Jazzie flirting with me?” Ria asked.
“That she was.”
“Does she do that a lot?” Ria asked.
“I don't know,” Ellie answered.
“Well, aren't you two dating? Are you okay with her flirting?” Ria asked.
“Oh, no, umm… we're fine. It's nothing serious. We hang out,” Ellie said. There was some silence and Ria continued to stare out at the water. “How's your love life going?”
“Not at all. You've seen the highlight. There's nothing new,” Ria said. “Gwen and I went on another date, but nothing else.”
“How long do you have?” Ellie asked. “You working?”
“Oh, I'm on call. I have my interns taking care of the post-ops. They will text or call if there is an issue. I have to stay close just in case.”
“Oh, so getting you drunk at lunch is a no-go then?” Ellie asked.
Ria winked, “This time.”
“So, finally we get some time together. This is great,” Ellie floundered for something to say.
“So, is this what your day is like? You go eat lunch out and party by night? Isn't that how all musicians do it?” Ria asked.
Ellie answered, “I don't know all musicians, but all my days and nights are different. I'm pretty busy. I'd love to have a 9-to-5 again. I don't do well with the unpredictability of it all anymore. I think I'm getting old.”
“How old are you?” Ria asked.
“How old do you think I am?”'
“Twenty-seven?”
“Thirty,” Ellie answered.
“I actually added some years. I thought you were twenty-three or something,” Ria said. “How old do you think I am?”
“January 4th you'll be thirty-four,” Ellie answered.
“Cyber-stalker,” Ria said.
Ellie answered, “The internet makes it so easy.”
Ria answered, “Well, to be honest. I tried looking you up, but there's nothing on Ellie Jane Rickets. You're somewhat of a ghost.”
That’s because that’s a made up name, and my real name is Ellie Jane Wakefield.
“The way I like it,” Ellie answered. The hostess brought Ria her salad, and Ellie opened her to-go box and started eating her lunch from fifteen minutes ago.
Ria said, “I thought you said that you were always on these sites. How do you market your music? It's no fun not being able to find stuff about you.”
“Ask whatever you want,” Ellie said.
“Hmm, you sure?” Ria asked. Ellie nodded as she took another scoop of rice.
“Okay, do you have any siblings?” Ria asked.
“Only child, you?” Ellie answered.
“Nope, this is about you,” Ria said. “Been to jail?”
“Only to visit.”
“I guess that's something I should've asked before you babysat Maggie. Oh well, too late now. What else would I find out about you on the internet?” Ria poked at her salad and Ellie used that time to look at Ria's face, neck, hair, and eyes. She had only seen Ria in the dim apartment lighting. This brighter light was much more preferable.
“Any naked or scandalous pictures out there?” Ria asked.
“There used to be, but my manager took care of them,” Ellie answered.
Ria laughed, “You said you would be honest!” She slapped Ellie in the arm. Ellie shrugged.
“I guess I might be a liar too. Write that in your book,” Ellie said.
“Parents?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about them,” Ria said.
“They live in a small town in Pennsylvania. They tolerate me being a lesbian. They have a small farm, go to church and are very charitable people. They have big hearts,” Ellie said.
“How often do you see them?” Ria asked.
“I don't know, once a year maybe. We talk on the holidays. They’re not big talkers on the phone,” Ellie said. “Is that how it is with your parents?”
“No, not at all. My parents are great. My Dad is great he—. You almost got me. This is about you, mystery woman. Why can't I find anything on you for real?”
“I changed my name a while back. A lot of artists do that to protect their families and friends. That way, hopefully for me, there will always be a part of me that's untouched by the media.”
“What's your other name?” Ria asked.
“Not to be told,” Ellie said.
“Oh, interesting,” Ria said. “So, have you always wanted to be a musician?”
“No, now this is an interesting story. When I was in high school I had this crush on this girl. She was so sweet. She was actually homecoming queen, but not the kind of homecoming queen people think about. She wasn't stuck-up and didn’t act like she was better than everyone else. She was beautiful, very laid-back, and funny. One day I overheard her talking about how much she loved music. She said how she dreamed of one day someone serenading her with a guitar and all.”
Ria asked, “You didn't?”
“I did. But don't worry I didn't do it in front of a big crowd or anything. So, I used all my money to buy this used acoustic guitar, and learned a handful of chords. As my fingers were recouping from all the practice, I wrote lyrics. So I practiced, recorded the song so I could see how I sounded, and practiced some more. I never thought it was good enough, but high school graduation was coming up and I was running out of time. One Friday night three weeks before graduation, I went to her house. Her bedroom window was in the back of the house on the second floor. I came prepared and threw small, round hard candies at her window.”
“Candy?” Ria asked.
“Yes. Anyway, so it was classic, her light came on, her window flew open and I started playing. I was concentrating so much on the chords and the words that I didn't notice that lights were turned on next to Natalie's window. Natalie looked down, and had a token mercy smile on her face.”
“And?” Ria asked.
“And then when I was done, her mother’s voice called down. She said, 'Ellie, Ellie is that you?' I froze. I looked up at Natalie whose face had turned to fear. Natalie moved her hand in a motion trying to shoo me away. I, with guitar in hand, ran out of her yard. I was hurdling hedges and generally tripping over things in the yard. I ran all the way home,” Ellie said.
“Oh, that's horrible. That's horrible,” Ria said.
“What was even worse is that I forgot I drove there and parked a few houses away. I dropped my guitar off at home, so that I could run back to the scene of the crime to retrieve my car,” Ellie added, as she laughed at her youthful blunder.
“So, did she ever talk to you again?” Ria asked.
“Well, the worst part of the story isn't over. Her family was Mormon. Her dad ended up coming to my house. I watched as her father and my father talked in the front yard. Her father pointed to the
sky, pointed to the ground, pointed at the house and at times raised his voice. My dad nodded and Natalie’s father gave him some papers. He walked in the house and threw the papers on the table by the door. My heart was in my throat.”
“Did your dad know you were a lesbian?” Ria asked.
“I didn't even know I was. I didn't go so far into my thought process to realize that writing a love song for a girl was something only a lesbian would do. So my father came in and asked me if I knew what Natalie's father wanted. I nodded. He said that I should stay away from the family because they were very angry.”
“What were the papers that he gave your father?”
“Latter Day Saints pamphlets,” Ellie laughed. “Okay, happy ending of the story. I graduated with fewer than two hundred students. Our class was small. Somehow Natalie managed to avoid me during school, and I was thankful for being saved from the embarrassment. Every day I went to school after the serenade, I braced myself for peer ridicule or to find homophobic poems on the bathroom stalls. Nothing came. She was the real deal. She told nobody.”
“Wow, I wonder if she felt the same way. Maybe she was gay too and was afraid to tell her religious family.”
“I don't think so but here is what I was saying about a happy ending. After our graduation ceremony, everyone was walking around and hugging everyone and saying goodbye and wishing each other good luck. I turn around right into Natalie's embrace. We were close enough friends that we would've hugged if it wasn't for my concert three weeks prior. Then she whispers, ‘That was a beautiful song. I know you'll find someone who's great.’”
“Aww,” Ria was tearing up. “Did you?”
“What?”
“Did you ever find someone great?” Ria asked.
“Oh, we are so done with the question portion of this date,” Ellie replied.
“Oh, I didn't realize this was a date,” Ria said as she grinned at Ellie.
“Well, I meant lunch date,” Ellie said.
“Come on, did you ever find that girl?” Ria asked again.
“I thought I did,” Ellie said. “I've had my heart broken a bunch.”
“Like with Jazzie. You setting yourself up for a heartbreak?”
“No, like I said, Jazzie and I aren't dating,” Ellie started.
She was interrupted by the waitress who handed Ellie a note, “This is from the hostess.”
Love's Autograph Page 8