She looks so cute with Remi. Nothing like a puppy and a gorgeous woman to melt my heart.
Remi excitedly pawed and jumped at her. Ria picked up Remi. Ria had a red winter hat pulled over her long black wavy hair. She had on what appeared to be a snowboarding winter jacket. Ellie caught herself staring and quickly averted her eyes.
“This is Ellie's new companion,” Maggie said.
“You got a dog?” Ria asked.
“Maggie got me a dog,” Ellie said.
“What? How? She doesn't have any money,” Ria said.
“It was the thought that counted,” Maggie protested.
“She found the dog for sale, and navigated me there as a surprise,” Ellie said.
“Only cost $780,” Maggie said.
“Maggie you can't just—” Ria said in protest.
“It was sweet wasn't it,” Ellie interrupted. Ria looked at Ellie and Ellie mouthed that it was okay.
“Yeah, so she is not lonely,” Maggie said.
“Did Ellie say she was lonely?” Ria asked.
“No, but—” Maggie started.
“Remember what we said about assuming what others were feeling,” Ria said.
“I like the company” Ellie said. “She was correct this time. It's great. I think I'll adore having Remi around.”
“Are you sure? That's a lot of money,” Ria started. “And not to mention a commitment.”
“I'm rich and I don't have a problem with commitment,” Ellie shot back and locked eyes with Ria's brown eyes.
“Well, okay,” Ria said. “Maggie why don't you go put your stuff in the car. I'll be out in a minute.”
“Okay, Ellie have fun with Remi,” Maggie said as she gave Ellie a hug. “Should we tell her why I named her Remi?”
“It's fine with me. You named her,” Ellie said.
“I'll tell her in the car. Okay, Mom?” Maggie said and Ria nodded. Maggie walked out the door, and Ellie and Ria stood in the lobby.
“How did it go?” Ria asked. “Really go?”
“Amazing, she has been one of the highlights of this whole year,” Ellie said.
“You’re wonderful. You're the greatest thing for her,” Ria said.
“No, she is. She's amazing to be around. Look, she got me this gorgeous puppy. She has the biggest heart I've ever known and...” Ellie said.
“I miss you,” Ria said.
“Yeah?” Ellie said. “Okay.” Ellie's heart jumped and then restrained itself and started to turn cold.
“I... we should go out sometime when you’re in town,” Ria said.
“Maybe,” Ellie said. “I’m not out very often, and when I am, I'm pretty busy,” Ellie said.
“Okay, well think about it. Or call me. You can stay at our place, anytime you want.”
“To be honest, it's hard for me to be around you,” Ellie blurted out. “As hard as it is to say that. It’s extremely difficult for me. I can and want to hang with Maggie, but that's all I have to give right now.”
Ria said, “Okay, fair enough. If you, if you ever want to...”
“Yup, got it,” Ellie said. Ria turned and walked out the door. Ellie's chest tightened and her heart shattered as if it were the first time Ria had walked away from her.
CHAPTER 44
“So, you gone out on any dates?” Dina asked.
“You kidding me? She hasn't realized other women exist since meeting Ria,” Jazzie answered. “I've dropped several hints that I'm interested and...”
“Shut up Jazzie,” Ellie said as she lightly pushed her shoulder. “I told you that you were too much to handle. Anyway, I don't think Brianna would like you talking like that.”
“Ahh, Brianna,” Jazzie whispered and put her hand over her heart.
“Oh sick, I think I see little hearts and Cupid over your head,” Dina said. “Do we have to do ‘Operation Get Ellie a Date?’”
“No, I don't want to date, sleep with or see anybody,” Ellie said.
“Isn't Northampton close to where you live?” Dina asked.
“Twenty minutes,” Ellie answered.
“Well, there you go, that's like Lesbian Land or something. You can find someone there,” Dina said.
“It’s not like finding another pair of sneakers,” Ellie said. “You see your life laid out before you. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, graduations and then it's all gone. I'm not ready.”
“You think she was the one?” Dina asked.
“Hell yes,” Jazzie said. “I don't always see that look that I saw in Ellie when she was with Ria.”
“Jazzie you have to know that Dina doesn't believe in the one,” Ellie said. “That's why she said it sarcastically.”
“What are you going to do Ellie?” Dina said. “I like the in-love Ellie more than the sad-and-slightly-pathetic Ellie.”
“It's all about you, huh?” Ellie said.
“Sometimes,” Dina said. “Well, she's done with you and you with her...”
“She isn't done with me,” Ellie said. “I think she wants to get back together.”
“You done with her?” Jazzie asked.
“Yes, well no,” Ellie said. “Okay I'm still so in love with her, but I'm afraid of getting kicked in the teeth again. She's so unpredictable. I'm not sure if she feels the same way or as deeply as I do.”
“Well, we're here in your beautiful studio sulking and wondering if she loves you. Meanwhile she's doing doctor things and hitting on nurses at Boston Memorial,” Dina said.
“Boston General “ Ellie said.
“Well, this is getting me so depressed you guys are going to make me go off my diet and eat a pizza or two,” Jazzie said as she ate another forkful of brown rice.
“I can't believe you eat that bland crap,” Dina said.
“Yeah, why are you on a diet anyway? You look great,” Ellie said.
“Well, diabetes runs in my family. Also, my cholesterol is high,” Jazzie said. “And I have Brianna and all the stars I meet to think about. They all look like they live in a gym, kind of like you.” Jazzie motioned to Dina.
“Dina hasn't been in a gym since high school,” Ellie said. “And that was only to look at the cute boys.”
“I eat whatever I want and don't have to run or anything,” Dina said. “One of my blessings.”
“Makes me hate your skinny, white ass,” Jazzie laughed. “Here I'm eating vegetables, rice, and drinking water. You just eat bacon, sausage, eggs, chocolate...”
“Okay now I'm hungry,” Ellie said.
“Well, I'm done doing the Ellie pity hour,” Dina said as she threw her briefcase over her shoulder. “You and Remi have a safe drive back to Nowheresville and don't forget our Boston Benefit next weekend. We're doing interviews and everything. Get your set list to me ASAP and...”
“Send me an email or something,” Ellie said. “I won't remember all this.”
“You're impossible,” Dina said as she gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Later Jazzie, enjoy your kale.”
CHAPTER 45
Ellie arrived back in Boston that next week for the Boston Benefit. It was a benefit concert for the fifth anniversary of the Boston Marathon Bombings. Davie and Dina accompanied her to the venue.
Jazzie was driving her to the arena, “I miss being a driver sometimes.”
“Yeah, glad you could drive tonight,” Ellie answered.
“You know the show is sold out,” Jazzie said.
“Yes it is,” Davie said. “I'm so psyched that you're one of the main headliners.”
“Your fans are coming out of the woodwork for this concert. Some from as far as Ohio and North Carolina,” Jazzie called back to them.
“How do you know that?” Dina asked.
“Her fan pages,” Jazzie said. “You learn a lot there. They are all wondering if Jenny will show up and what kind of music you'll play. You thinking of playing new stuff or old stuff?”
“A mix,” Ellie said as she saw a crowd of fans had already formed at the venue an
d it was five hours before the show.
“Miss this?” Davie asked.
“A little,” Ellie smiled as her bodyguard Clara opened the door and helped escort the trio backstage.
Several hours later, Ellie stepped onto the stage. The same rush hit her. There was the familiar feel of the roar of the ground, the bass of the speakers pounding her chest, the sweat from the hundreds of lights, and the sound of the screaming fans. Before she knew, it the show was over. Ellie walked backstage.
“Great job,” Jazzie said to Ellie as she met her backstage. “You still got it!”
“Was there ever a doubt?” Davie asked. “Let's go celebrate. I have reservations at the Gravity Room...”
“Well,” Dina said as she locked eyes with Jazzie. “Ellie and Jazzie are going to take one car. You and I'll take another car. She can meet us there.”
“But there is plenty of room,” Davie said.
“There are some errands that the two of them have to run,” Dina said as she nodded at Jazzie.
“We do?” Ellie asked.
“I was hoping you could do some promotional things quickly with me on some of the nonprofit projects I'm running,” Jazzie put her hands together as if she was begging.
“Oh, I wish you would've warned me. I would've brought a bunch of signed stuff. Sure, of course,” Ellie said. “Let me shower quickly, and grab some things from the buffet in my dressing room. I'm hungry. You want anything?”
“No thanks,” Jazzie said. “I'll wait here unless you need help in the shower.”
“No thanks,” Ellie laughed.
Ellie showered, got dressed, grabbed a sandwich from the dressing room, and met Jazzie outside her dressing room.
“So kids or sick people or what are we talking?” Ellie asked. “It doesn't matter. I just like to prepare myself.”
“Oh, umm… some inner-city kids,” Jazzie said. “Nothing big just meet, greet and signing.”
“That’s great,” Ellie said. “Let's go.”
Jazzie walked Ellie up to a long limousine with Clara standing next to it. That section of the arena had high security and there were no any fans or media around. It was eerily quiet.
“We’re taking this?” Ellie asked.
“Yeah, thought the kids would get a kick out of it,” Jazzie said.
“You can drive this long thing?” Ellie asked.
“I can drive anything with wheels,” Jazzie laughed. “Get in.”
Clara opened the door for Ellie. Ellie gave Clara a hug. Clara remained stiff but tolerated the hug.
“Good seeing you again, Clara,” Ellie said. “Heard you got a new gig with some new hottie.”
“Yes, but nobody is as wonderful as you,” Clara answered.
Ellie climbed into the limo and settled back in the seats. The seats were not as comfortable as Jazzie's other car seats. Jazzie entered the driver's seat, started the engine, and pulled away. The limo seemed to be a ten person limo, and it was dark. There was a faint light illuminating the glasses sitting in the cup holders.
I don't remember limos being this dark. Ellie opened a small fridge, pulled out a soda, and popped it open.
“You going to offer me one?” a voice said from the darkness across from her.
“What the—?” Ellie said as she stared into the darkness. There was a woman there. The person reached over and turned on the interior lights.
“Ria, what the—? You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing here?” Ellie asked.
“Well, we figured this would be the only way we could get you for more than a minute,” Ria said. “Wasn't my idea, but I was persuaded.”
“Jazzie!” Ellie yelled up to the front of the car.
“I can't hear you, I have my music on too loud,” Jazzie said. “It wasn't my idea, but I'm in agreement.” Jazzie said as she raised the tinted glass in between the front and back seat and turned up her music.
“You guys suck!” Ellie called up. “What do you want Ria?” Ria slid from the far side of the limo toward Ellie. She was wearing the red dress that she was supposed to wear to Hot Mama’s, and her black boots. Ellie felt dizzy. Ria's hair was down and she wore a swooping, sparkling necklace.
“So how about a drink?” Ria asked.
“Sure what do you want?” Ellie asked as she opened the fridge.
“A soda is fine,” Ria said. Ellie handed it to her.
“What're you doing here? And what's with all the secrecy?” Ellie asked.
“Well, how else was I going to get you to be a captive audience, and please listen to what I have to say?” Ria asked.
“I can get out of the car you know,” Ellie said as Jazzie came to a stop at a light and Ellie pulled the door handle.
“Darn those childproof locks,” Ria said. Ellie glared at her and sat back against the seat taking a long swig of her soda. “Okay, before you get mad, this wasn't my idea. I'm not trying to get you mad. I was ready to give you your space, and wait for you to make a move on me.”
“So?” Ellie asked.
“So, if it wasn't for Dina coming to see me at the hospital,” Ria said. “Who's charming and seems to love you, by the way.”
“She's not the biggest fan of people who hurt me,” Ellie said. “She's a little protective of me.”
“More than a little. She makes Clara look like a kitten. You should change her position to head of your security,” Ria said. “Anyway, Dina came to me telling me how miserable you are. She told me it's all my fault and I had to fix it one way or another.”
“I'm not...” Ellie started and hesitated.
“You can't even say it,” Ria said. “You're miserable?”
“I wouldn't say miserable,” Ellie said. “Not all that happy.”
“Me either,” Ria said.
“Your own doing,” Ellie said. “You at least have Maggie.”
“I know,” Ria said. “So, would you consider it?”
“What?” Ellie asked.
“Going out on a date with me or going out with me again, or starting to hang out with me again?” Ria asked.
“No,” Ellie answered. She could almost feel her heart icing over in defense.
“To what?” Ria asked with a look of hurt.
“To everything,” Ellie said.
“Why?”
“Because my heart can't take the hurt. I put myself out there with you and you hurt me again and again,” Ellie said.
“I know and I’m sorry,” Ria said. “Look Dina stated that if I break your heart… well, let's say she promised some unrepeatable and painful things.”
“Even so,” Ellie said. “Can we stop? Or can I get out?”
“Ellie,” Ria said as she moved across the aisle and next to Ellie. She tried to grab Ellie's hand, but then settled for just placing her hand on top of Ellie's hand.
“What?” Ellie asked with an uncharacteristic harshness in her voice, so much so that Ria jerked her hand back.
The fear Ellie saw in Ria's eyes scared her.
Ellie took a deep breath and spoke, “Wow, I'm never like this. I, you, you make me crazy. You come here and my heart wants you, and I'm head over heels, but then I remember.”
“Ellie,” Ria said.
“What,” Ellie whispered back, and Ria took Ellie's hand between her hands.
“I’m in love with you,” Ria said. “It took me a while to admit it to myself, but I'm in love with you. And I hurt you over and over, and there is really no logical reason you should take me back, but I do love you.”
“You love me?” Ellie asked.
“Yes,” Ria said. “Dina said you weren't sure how I felt and were confused. I understand why, and I need you to know that I’m in love you.” Ria lifted Ellie's chin and took her face in her hands. Ellie looked up into Ria's eyes. Ellie stopped breathing as Ria slowly moved her lips toward Ellie's. Ria's soft lips gently touched Ellie's, and then moved gently against them. Energy surged through Ellie's lips, and finally she allowed her lips to push against Ria's
. Butterflies danced in her chest and multiplied her previous resolve with every pass of their lips. While still kissing, Ellie ran her hands through Ria's hair, and then moved a hand to Ria's leg. She found the top of her boot and then her naked leg between her red dress and boots.
Ria moaned as Ellie slipped her hands under the dress to her thighs. Ria ran her tongue lightly across Ellie's lips, and Ellie's kiss intensified. Ria wrapped her arm around Ellie's waist and pulled their bodies tightly together. Ellie broke the kiss and slid away from Ria.
“What?” Ria asked still trying to catch her breath.
“It's not going to work,” Ellie said.
“What? Did you not feel the spark? What do you mean?”
“Oh, I felt the spark. It about melted me,” Ellie said. “This... this pattern. You change your mind. We break up, you get mad or change your mind, you go back to Gwen and then we get back together. It feels like the same pattern. This doesn't feel right?”
“Ellie,” Ria whispered as she grabbed Ellie's hand. Ellie intertwined her fingers with Ria's and once again a surge of excitement coursed through her. “What are you saying? Are you over me?”
“No,” Ellie said. “I'm not sure what I'm saying. I do know that I'm not angry with you anymore, and my heart is thawing and mending.”
“Okay, good. So?”
“I don't know,” Ellie said. “I just...”
“You're not ready?” Ria asked.
“I guess not,” Ellie said. “I know I can't stand to go through yet another heartbreak. At least, right now I can't.”
“Okay, I'm not sure what to say,” Ria said. “Are you trying to get back at me? You know, revenge?”
“No, come on you know me better than that,” Ellie said. “Denying you in that dress and those boots is hard. You definitely wore the right outfit. Give me some time and space.”
“And then?” Ria asked.
“I've no idea, but I swear if you...” Ellie started and then stopped.
“If I? If I start dating someone?” Ria asked.
“I didn't say that,” Ellie said.
“I don't plan on going back to Gwen or dating anyone else,” Ria said. “Are you seeing anyone?”
“Since the first day I met you, I haven't dated anyone,” Ellie said.
Love's Autograph Page 26