by Jae
Kim sighed. “I’m in love with this really cool guy, Brandon. He’s one of the managers in the coffee shop where I work, and he sometimes sneaks me a muffin or a cupcake.”
She sounded so smitten that Paula had to grin. Oh yeah? Are you calling the kettle black, Ms. Pot?
“He sounds great,” Christine said. “So he has no idea how you feel about him?”
“No way. I could never tell him.”
“Why not?” Christine asked gently. “Because he’s your boss at the coffee shop?”
Kim blew out an audible breath. “No. Because he’s my best friend’s ex.”
Ouch. Paula scratched her head.
“Hmm.” Christine appeared unrattled. “I see why that could be a difficult situation. So you’re not telling him because you’re afraid to hurt your friend if you get together with her ex?”
“Yeah. We’ve been BFFs since kindergarten. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“How long have they been separated?”
“Two months.” Kim sounded as if it were an eternity.
Pah. Amateur. Try mooning over someone for two years without getting up the courage to tell her!
“Do you think your friend…?”
“Tina,” Kim supplied.
“Do you think Tina is over him already?” Christine asked.
“I don’t know. She’s got a new boyfriend, but … I have no idea if he’s just a rebound guy or something.”
“So you haven’t talked to Tina about any of this?”
“Oh, no. I can’t. I don’t want her to think…”
“To think what?”
“That I was already after him when they were together or that I’m chasing after her sloppy seconds.”
Paula snorted. Sloppy seconds. I’m sure Brandon will be charmed when he hears that.
“If she’s a true friend, she won’t think that,” Christine said. “She’ll try to understand. Maybe she won’t be overjoyed at first, but if you give her a little time, she’ll be happy for you.”
“You really think so?”
“Well, imagine you were in her shoes and Tina confessed to being in love with your ex.”
Kim giggled. “I wouldn’t want her to date that stupid ass, but I guess I see your point.”
“I know it’s a bit of a risk, but years from now, you don’t want to wonder what if. It’s time to lay your cards on the table and see how it all plays out.”
Paula’s breath caught. It was as if Christine was speaking directly to her. A few years from now, did she really want to wonder what would have happened if she had ever gotten up the courage to ask Christine out?
“Okay,” Kim said. “Thanks.”
Christine said good-bye and ended the call. “So, let’s see if there’s another caller who’s secretly in love.” Several seconds of silence ticked by. “No one? Come on, people. Kim can’t be the only one. What better day to confess your love than Valentine’s?” She lowered her voice to an intimate whisper. “Take heart and call me.”
Cool metal in her hand startled Paula. She blinked when she realized that she’d reached for her cell phone. Her heart pounded. Should I really…?
“Come on,” Christine said again. “Don’t be afraid.”
Paula looked around. She was alone in the production studio, and the hallway beyond was empty. Besides, Tyler, who screened Christine’s calls, probably had someone else on the line already and wouldn’t put her through, especially not if he recognized her voice.
She’d put it off as a prank call to a co-worker, and they’d all laugh about it. With that soothing thought in mind, she typed in a code that would block her caller ID information and then dialed the station’s number. Her hand shook as she pressed the phone to her ear.
“KWSG, welcome to The Midnight Couch,” Tyler said. “Who am I talking to?”
Paula clutched the cell phone while her thoughts were racing. For a moment, she was tempted to give her real name, just because she loved the way it sounded when Christine said it, but then reason prevailed and she gave the first name that popped into her mind. “Uh, Jane. My name is Jane.” She mentally slapped her forehead. Jane? As in Jane Doe? That’s the best you could come up with?
“Jane from…?”
“Uh, LA.” No reason to lie about that. Los Angeles was a big enough place.
“Thanks for calling, Jane from LA,” Tyler said. “Just to see if you would be a good fit for tonight’s show, can you give me the rundown of your story?”
Paula had worked at a radio station long enough to know the drill. Lowering her voice a register so Tyler wouldn’t recognize her, she said, “I have a crush on a co-worker, but I have no idea how to let…um…them know I’m interested.”
If Tyler wondered about her use of the generic pronoun, he didn’t say so. “Okay,” he said. “Sounds like you need some advice. I’m gonna put you through to Dr. Christine.”
“T-thanks.” A lump formed in her throat until she could barely breathe. In the two seconds it took Tyler to put her through, she nearly hung up. Just the thought of not wanting to leave Christine hanging stopped her. Voices sounded different through the headphones in the studio, she told herself. Christine wouldn’t recognize her.
“Welcome to the show, Jane,” Christine said. Her smoky voice drifted through the phone and through the speakers in the production studio.
Belatedly, Paula realized she had to turn off the speakers to avoid any feedback. She fumbled with the switch and nearly dropped the phone in the process. “Uh, hi.”
“So what’s on your mind, Jane?”
You. Of course, she didn’t say that. Paula rubbed her cheek with her free hand and tried to make her voice sound deeper as she said, “I have this embarrassing crush on someone I work with.”
“Why is it embarrassing?” Christine asked.
Well, maybe not as embarrassing as the guy who was in love with his rubber plant, but still… “Because I’m thirty. I think I’m supposed to be over having crushes like that.”
“I’d hope not,” Christine said with a laugh that made Paula tingle all over. “Having a crush on someone is a great thing to experience at any age. So tell me more about this co-worker. How long have you known each other?”
“About two years now,” Paula said. She still couldn’t believe she was talking to Christine about her crush—live on air, where thousands of people, including all of her co-workers, could hear every word. It didn’t feel that way, though. Christine made her feel as if she was talking only to her.
“And for how long has your crush been going on?”
Paula rubbed her overly warm cheek. More embarrassing confessions. “About as long.”
“That’s a long time,” Christine said.
Paula sighed and mumbled, “Tell me about it.”
“So what’s holding you back?”
“Fear of rejection, I guess,” she said and realized that she sounded a bit like a psychologist herself. Too many nights listening to The Midnight Couch. “We have to see each other every day, and I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”
“You think he wouldn’t take it well?”
“She,” Paula said quietly. She bit her lip. She hadn’t planned to reveal that to Christine and thousands of listeners. Holding her breath, she waited for Christine’s reaction.
“Ah,” was all Christine said. “So you think she wouldn’t take it well?”
“I have no idea. I don’t even know if she likes women.”
“Well, if you don’t ask, you’ll never find out.”
“But…but…it’s not that easy. I’ve tried, believe me, but I always chicken out.”
“Okay, then how about testing the waters first?”
“How?”
“You could invite her to do something with you, just as friends, then see how she interacts with you away from work.”
Hmm. Paula rubbed her chin. That sounded like a good idea. Maybe she should have called Christine sooner, even though it was totally
absurd to get advice from the woman she wanted to ask out. “I guess I could do that.”
“What does she like to do?”
“Huh?”
“Your co-worker. What does she like to do in her free time?”
Paula thought about it for a second. “She loves animals. And she’s a movie buff.”
“Then why not ask her if she’d like to go to a film festival with you? The LA Indie Film Festival is coming up at the end of the month.”
No, I can’t. If she did exactly what Christine had told Jane to do, she would give herself away. She’d have to come up with another idea for what they could do on their friendly not-a-date date. “I’ll do that. Thanks for your help.”
“You’re welcome. Please call in again and let us know how it went.”
“You’ll be the first to know,” Paula said and covered the phone with one hand so Christine wouldn’t hear her chuckle.
“Good night, Jane, and good luck.”
“Good night, Chr…Dr. Christine.” She quickly ended the call and pressed the cell phone to her chest. Oh my God! I can’t believe I did that. She sank onto a swivel chair and let her head rest against a console.
* * *
When Christine left her booth at two in the morning, Paula hid in the conference room, documenting the shift’s work there instead of in the reception area. For once, she hoped Christine wouldn’t seek her out to exchange a few words, as she sometimes did before she left. She couldn’t look her in the eyes, convinced that Christine would know it had been her the minute she made eye contact.
The door opened.
Paula’s shoulders slumped. She didn’t have to look up to know who stood in the doorway.
“Ah, there you are, Paula. I thought I saw light in here.”
A shiver went through Paula at the way her name sounded on Christine’s lips. She peered up, then back down. “Oh, hi.”
“Good show, hmm? Did you listen in?”
Listen in? I called in. She still couldn’t believe it. “Uh, yeah, I caught bits and pieces. Your advice was great.”
“You think so?”
I hope so. “Sure.”
“Thanks.”
Was there something different in Christine’s voice? Paula glanced up. Christine was looking at her, but her cornflower-blue eyes gave nothing away. You’re imagining things. She wouldn’t be so cool if she knew. She would say something, right?
“Well, then.” Christine turned to go. “Good night. See you at the regular time tomorrow.”
Paula suppressed a sigh. Yes, everything would be back to normal tomorrow. And she still had to find the courage to ask Christine out, even if she was now just aiming for a friendly outing. “Good night. Drive carefully.”
“You too.” Christine waved and was gone.
* * *
The next day, when Paula left her apartment, hopped into her car, and turned on the radio, Christine’s smoky voice greeted her. She nearly backed the car into a concrete column. What is she doing on air already?
Poor Christine had probably been called in to take over for yet another colleague who was sick or had partied too hard yesterday.
“This woman just can’t say no,” Paula mumbled. She hoped Christine wouldn’t say no to a visit to the zoo with her either. Paula had lain awake for most of the night, thinking of things she could do with Christine. A lot of things had come to mind, most of them R-rated, but finally her thoughts had returned to things they could do on a friendly basis, and she had settled on a visit to the Los Angeles Zoo.
When she entered the station and went to the small storage room where she kept her tool belt, an envelope was stuck to her clipboard, where she wouldn’t miss it.
Paula Arellano was written on it with neat letters.
She knew that handwriting. Her heart tripped. Christine! She knows and wrote me a letter telling me off because she doesn’t want to deal with this face-to-face. Then her racing pulse calmed. No. Christine wouldn’t do that. It was probably just the puppy pictures Christine had promised and then forgotten to show her because of the on-air suicide and then the special show on Valentine’s Day.
Still in her coat, she slid a fingernail behind the flap of the envelope, tearing it open.
No pictures fell out.
Instead, two tickets slid into her waiting hands. A note in Christine’s handwriting stuck to the top ticket.
Dear Jane,
Want to go see a movie with me?
Christine
Oh, wow. She wants to go see a movie with me? Paula whirled around and did a little victory dance that had the news reporter who was passing by stop next to the open door and laugh at her. Then she froze. She called me Jane. She took a closer look at the tickets. They were for the LA Indie Film Festival. Oh, God, she knows. She knows that I have a crush on her, and she still wants to go to the film festival with me.
Her legs felt too weak for another victory dance, but inside, she was cheering. When her head finally stopped spinning, she went to the reception desk, reached for a permanent marker in the penholder, and scribbled her answer on a sheet of paper in big letters.
The news reporter looked at her as if she’d gone crazy as she skipped past him, down the hall. She stopped in front of the glassed-in studio to the left.
There she was. Christine slowly swished back and forth on her swivel chair and talked into the microphone, both hands cupped around it.
Paula watched her, drinking her in.
Again, Christine seemed to sense her presence. She turned her head and looked through the glass. When she saw Paula standing there, in the middle of the hallway, she cocked her head in a silent question.
Grinning, Paula held up the sign, which read, “Hell, yes!”
A broad smile spread over Christine’s face.
For a moment, they grinned at each other like fools; then Christine put one hand on the headphones and seemed to listen intently to what her caller was saying.
Paula watched her a little longer before turning and making her way back to the storage room. Her gaze fell on the large clock on the wall. Barely six o’clock. It seemed that sometimes the magic happened way before midnight.
###
About Jae
Jae grew up amidst the vineyards of southern Germany. She spent her childhood with her nose buried in a book, earning her the nickname “professor.” The writing bug bit her at the age of eleven. For the last eight years, she has been writing mostly in English.
She used to work as a psychologist but gave up her day job in December 2013 to become a full-time writer and a part-time editor. As far as she’s concerned, it’s the best job in the world.
When she’s not writing, she likes to spend her time reading, indulging her ice cream and office supply addictions, and watching way too many crime shows.
Connect with Jae online
Jae loves hearing from readers!
E-mail her at: [email protected]
Visit her website: jae-fiction.com
Visit her blog: jae-fiction.com/blog
Like her on Facebook: facebook.com/JaeAuthor
Follow her on Twitter: @jaefiction
Other books from Ylva Publishing
www.ylva-publishing.com
Unwrap These Presents
ISBN: 978-3-95533-278-5 (mobi), 978-3-95533-279-2 (epub)
Length: 130,000 words (443 pages)
Twenty-three authors of lesbian fiction contributed holiday stories that give you snow, presents, plenty of food, Holiday cheer and nicely wrapped curvy women under the tree.
All profits of this anthology will be donated to the Albert Kennedy Trust in the UK and the Ali Forney Center in New York City. Both organizations provide housing for homeless LGBT youth.
Authors:
Andi Marquette; Ashley Stevens; Catherine Lane; Cheri Crystal; Cindy Rizzo; Clare Lydon; Devin Sumarno; Erzabet Bishop; Eve Francis; Fletcher DeLancey; Jae; Jean Copeland; Joan Arling; Jove Belle; L.T. Smith; Lee Lynch; Lois Cloarec Hart; Nikki B
usch; Patricia Penn; R.G. Emanuelle; S. M. Harding; T.M. Croke; Wendy Temple
Under a Falling Star
Jae
ISBN: 978-3-95533-239-6 (mobi), 978-3-95533-240-2 (epub)
Length: 91,000 words (369 pages)
Falling stars are supposed to be a lucky sign, but not for Austen. Her new job as a secretary in an international games company isn’t off to a good start. Her first assignment—decorating the Christmas tree in the lobby—results in a trip to the ER after Dee, the company’s second-in-command, gets hit by the star-shaped tree topper.
Dee blames her instant attraction to Austen on her head wound, not the magic of the falling star. She’s determined not to act on it, especially since Austen has no idea that Dee is practically her boss.
Barring Complications
Blythe Rippon
ISBN: 978-3-95533-192-4 (mobi), 978-3-95533-193-1 (epub)
Length: 77,000 words (374 pages)
It’s an open secret that the newest justice on the Supreme Court is a lesbian. So when the Court decides to hear a case about gay marriage, Justice Victoria Willoughby must navigate the press, sway at least one of her conservative colleagues, and confront her own fraught feelings about coming out.
Just when she decides she’s up to the challenge, she learns that the very brilliant, very out Genevieve Fornier will be lead counsel on the case.
Genevieve isn’t sure which is causing her more sleepless nights: the prospect of losing the case, or the thought of who will be sitting on the bench when she argues it…
Coming from Ylva Publishing in 2015
www.ylva-publishing.com
Good Enough to Eat
Jae and Alison Grey
Robin’s New Year’s resolution to change her eating habits is as unusual as she is. Unlike millions of other women, she isn’t tempted by chocolate or junk food. She’s a vampire, determined to fight her craving for a pint of O negative.
When she goes to an AA meeting, hoping for advice on fighting her addiction, she meets Alana, a woman who battles her own demons.