by Annie Boone
Lucas was there, though, wrapping his strong arms around her. It was the closest thing she’d had to a hug or touch from him that she could remember far too long. Carrying her to the bed after her fall, Susannah determined, did not qualify. Gasping for breath, she clung to him as she tried to gather the strength in her legs again. But before she could, he had carefully set her back on the bed.
She scrambled to sit down, refusing to be babied after that outburst. And he couldn’t just ignore her, as ill as she might have been. After all, she was recovering. “Don’t you just—”
“Stop.” His voice was only a whisper, but it was enough. More than enough.
She froze, her breath bated. Lucas never yelled at her and part of her dearly wished that he would. If only everything were out in the open. But now, she told herself, maybe it was.
So, she waited. Clearly Lucas was fighting with himself as his eyes looked everywhere but at her and his fists clenching over and over again.
After a minute, he appeared to find his voice. “Don’t ever—don’t you ever say that again, Susannah. Don’t you ever… Do you hear me?” His breath was labored as he fought to keep control of his tone.
It was a dark, shadowed look on his face that made her still. Her throat constricted and her heart hammered. Suddenly she was glad he didn’t shout. “Yes,” she managed meekly.
Taking a deep breath, Lucas grabbed her chin to make sure she was looking at him, but she couldn’t have looked away if she tried. The look he was giving her was so intense, she didn’t feel certain she would ever blink again. “I would never wish you ill, never in a million years. I told you I needed time. Time to come to terms with all this.”
“I gave you time,” she whispered in a small voice.
Hesitating, his gaze nearly wavered. “So, you did. I needed it. But I’m afraid that I ignored you too much, and that’s my fault. It wasn’t my intention to… to stop paying attention.”
Tears filled her vision. “I’m not blind. I could see all of it. Every day.”
For a minute he was silent, digesting his thoughts and her words. Too long, she decided, and knew there was at least a semblance of truth to what she had said. Susannah had hoped that he would deny it, but he valued honesty too much for that now.
“I married you, and I intend to keep every promise I made to you that day,” he said finally. “I care for you, and I do love you.” Susannah’s breath caught but she forced herself to take a deep breath. “You are my wife, Susie darling, and you come first.” The breath let out with that name. She’d missed hearing him say her name.
Slowly she nodded, his hand still gripping her chin. “I’m sorry,” she said finally, and made sure she looked at him head on. It was for everything, she told him with her heart, for everything that had gone wrong.
“I’m sorry, too,” he replied, and he meant it in the same way. And then, the spell was broken and she managed to blink as watery tears reached the corners of her eyes. Lucas kissed her forehead and then sat back down, looking as tired as she felt. For a minute they were silent, recouping on what had just happened. Then he gestured lightly to the food. “You should eat.”
“I’m not—” Susannah hesitated, reminded of where she was. Her cheeks turned pink in shame. Glancing down at her hands, she suddenly realized they looked so small and frail beneath all these blankets. She could feel it too, the lost weight and how light she felt. It wasn’t a good feeling, and she felt embarrassed. Looking at her lap, she sighed and realized he was right. “Will you read to me?”
That was a compromise he could live with. First, he made sure she had eaten half the bread before he began, wanting to make sure she was eating something. And then he read to her like they used to, while she finished the bread and drank her water. It was a quiet evening and she settled back in the blankets as he continued reading, only to fall asleep to the soothing timber of her husband’s voice.
Chapter Thirteen
Rocky Ridge, Colorado; 1882
Strange what time could do, and the miracles it wrought. Susannah blinked and found herself in the present after her brief reminiscing, where Lydia was poking at a pumpkin. “It’s awfully funny looking,” she was saying. “Isn’t it a bit, well, green?”
Susie snorted and looked at the girl. Mary giggled. “That tends to happen. We have different seeds out here than what is used on most of the east. But don’t you worry, in a few months they’ll be big as the cart and I’ll be able to make several pies out of it.”
That made the girl hopeful, but she paused immediately as the light glimmered in her yes. “Do you think I’ll be there that long?” She asked hesitantly, turning away.
By the sound of it, Lydia was already attached to being here. Sighing, Susannah sat back and wiped the sweat from her brow. Glancing around, she unbuttoned her sleeves at the wrist and rolled them back. It was warm enough already with the suns on their back, and she knew they would need a break soon.
“I do. Especially since Joshua is driving out here to see you next month.”
Lydia whirled around, since they hadn’t cleared up when exactly she would be leaving yet. They always tried to be careful about that sort of thing, to get the timing right so the girls weren’t there forever but on their way to their new homes and husbands. Susannah grinned, deciding now was as good as any. They’d received his letter yesterday, but there hadn’t been a decent time to tell her.
“Really?” She squeaked. “Already? Next month? He’s coming to get me?”
The girl really liked her questions. Susannah chuckled. “Yes, he is. A neighbor of his is driving horses this way, and he’s promised to help. They’ll be coming once all the foals and fillies are strong enough. I’m assuming five weeks right now, that’s when they’ll arrive.”
“Oh,” Lydia sighed, patting the pumpkin absently. “So soon. It’s so quick, why I’m stunned. There’s so much to do!” She started to stand up but Susannah laughed and pulled her back down. “Where do we even begin? Will my dresses be fine enough for him?”
She hoped Joshua liked answering questions, and grinned. “You’ll be wonderful for him, Miss Lydia, I assure you. And we begin right here, in the garden, ensuring you’re ready to head out to Nevada with him. We had best be hurrying so you can learn everything you need to know, of course. Today is gardening, and tomorrow is riding a horse.”
That caught the young girl’s breath. “Oh, really? I’ll ride one? On the back?”
Mary finally piped in, her focus in hoeing lessening with all of the chatter. “Of course on the back! Where else?” And it made Susannah laugh before the other girls joined in. For a few more minutes they worked, until she decided it was time for a break and to check on Jane with her stitching.
“All right,” she stood and wiped the dirt from her dress. “Let’s pause here. Tools on the porch. Come along ladies, let’s find some lemonade, shall we?”
Cheering, the girls quickly obeyed and they hurried inside to find Jane with her work nearly finished. Lydia complimented her kindly as Lorelai brought out the lemonade and poured glasses for all of them.
Sighing, Lydia settled on the couch and shook her head. “It’s just so pretty. My needlepoint is fine, but I never know what to do and so it always comes out crooked or just odd looking. If I have a pattern though, then it’s all right. I just need the extra help,” she chuckled.
“It is rather difficult coming up with something new,” Jane wrinkled her nose. “But I think it’s still easier than riding a horse! Honestly, I don’t think I should even get close to one. I’m sure I’ll find some way of knocking it over or getting kicked. I know that happens.”
Susannah shook her head. “Nonsense, Jane. Foals are born weighing at least as much as you so one recently born could easily knock you right over.” The girls giggled as she continued. “And as for getting kicked, that only happens when you don’t pay attention to where you are when you’re near a horse. Some people walk up behind a horse and are surprised when they get kicke
d. Which is rude, because we shouldn’t creep up on people or animals. You need to respect a horse for all that they do for you.”
Nodding, the younger girl grew thoughtful. “We’ll ride them tomorrow? And I’ll start to learn how to not be rude to a horse?”
She grinned. “You and Lydia will, yes. Lorelai already rides well.”
“What about yourself? Won’t you be teaching us?”
She laughed. “No, that will be Lucas. I’m afraid he’s a much better teacher, and rider. Today he needs to be in town for a trial, and then tomorrow the horses. We have just two, but the pastor will loan Smith. After you learn to care for them, you’ll ride them.”
Jane set her needle down very carefully, and then her thimble. “Do you ever ride?”
She shrugged. “Yes, I’m just not very good, I’m afraid. I can tell you the basics, but they’re the experts. My riding style, ladies, should not be emulated.”
And that was putting it honestly. As much as she enjoyed riding, her favorite mare had died recently and she had yet to find another horse that had a steady enough gait to make her feel comfortable. When she and Lucas still wanted to take a ride together, often she was sitting in front of him on his stallion.
The girls accepted this, however, and continued in their discussion about horses. After a couple of minutes, she noticed the girls growing too comfortable in the shade, and stood up after finishing her glass. “All right, ladies. We still have another acre to tend to before the noonday meal. Finish your lemonade, and let’s be going.”
They shared a few playful groans, grudgingly obeying before heading back out. Fortunately, the enthusiasm for gardening returned and Susannah was facing questions left and right. Time quickly passed with the girls eagerly learning new skills. After eating, Susannah had them return once again to practice gardening without her guidance. Just for an hour or so, she told herself.
Besides, she had company to prepare for. “Jane,” she peaked her head into the sun room. “How is your crocheting going now?” The girl sheepishly held up a clumsily crooked scarf. Or what it would be, if she added several more rows to make it wrap around a human neck. “Ah. You need to be tight, be firm with the yarn, dear. Every knot needs to know it has its place.”
“Hmm,” Jane mumbled at the vague instructions, but her brow furrowed in concentration.
Susannah hoped it was enough guidance and then headed down to the closet for blankets. With Rosalie gone, the room needed to be freshened up. Was there another woman on the way? It was hard to keep track sometimes, especially in the spring. Everyone wanted to travel after winter. Thinking back, she tried to consider who it might be as she fixed up the room.
Chapter Fourteen
Rocky Ridge, Colorado; 1876
“Do you know if you’ll ever have had enough time? To think, that is?”
He turned on his side, propping his head on his hand and looking at her thoughtfully. She let hers slip down on the pillow, looking back at him through the moonlight. He was still as handsome as ever, Susie thought, and wondered if he still thought she was pretty. Lucas blinked. “What do you mean?”
She shifted, pulling the blankets up to her chin. “We can’t be like this forever, that’s what I mean. Will you ever be content with just us?”
He didn’t know. It was obvious on his face. The moonlight shone down on him, brushing against his jawbone as she tried reach that thoughtful gaze of his. And then just as she was about to give up, she felt his arm slip around her waist and pull her close. Susie’s breath caught as she curled into him, her head on his chest.
Closing her eyes, Susannah tried to relax. They hadn’t been close in so long, and she’d missed it more than she’d realized until she felt his arms around her. Now, she was surrounded by him and could smell that earthy iron smell he exuded so often. It had been so long so she now tried to drink it all in. “We’ll figure it out,” Lucas murmured finally, a hand drifting through her hair. “Eventually.”
Chapter Fifteen
Rocky Ridge, Colorado; 1882
“Perhaps it’s Sylvia,” Susannah decided a few minutes later as she finished tidying up the room. Standing at the doorway, she gave the space one more look over before nodding in satisfaction. Not a spot of dust to be found, everything clean. Rubbing her hands together, she took the old sheets downstairs with her to put in a pile for the next day’s laundry.
After the bedding went in the basket, she turned to the desk. Sitting down, she pulled open the file folders of her matchmaking work and methodically sorted through the most recent correspondence. The letters were separated in three stacks.
Those that had come and gone, those who were in the middle of the process, and those who had just started contacting her. Just a few minutes later, she could see that Sylvia Cormeleson from Alabama would be here not this month but the next.
As she reviewed her calendar, the woman realized that they might have a few days, maybe even weeks, without any boarders. That is, Susannah pondered, if Jane found someone and if Lorelai was able to pick up on everything she needed to learn quickly enough.
Shuffling the papers and files together, they were placed carefully back into the desk drawer. It always worried her, sending the women too far away where they would be out of reach from her. She felt she was still responsible for them even then, being the one who had set the match. What if something didn’t work out? There was always the chance that in spite of her efforts, a man could have been untruthful about his circumstances.
Usually she tried to keep them fairly close, around Colorado and Wyoming. That had been the intention at the very beginning, after all. But there were only so many eligible men who wanted a mail order bride that she could reach, so occasionally she did need to expand her search elsewhere.
“At least I know these men for sure,” she reminded herself with a nod. “All is well for the moment.”
“Talking to yourself again?”
There was a smile on her face before she turned to him. “What are you doing here?” Her hands went to her hips. “Was the town getting too dull for you? We weren’t expecting you until nightfall.”
“Just wanted to see my best girl again.” Lucas walked over with his hat, jacket, and badge already put away. As he walked into the light her smile slipped into a frown. The man had a puffy eye, already turning all sorts of colors.
Her hand covered her mouth. “Goodness! Lucas! Whatever happened? Now come here and sit down. I’ll get you something for that eye.” She hurried to get a cloth and dampened it with cool water.
He shrugged and took a seat at the kitchen table. “It’s not that bad.” He shook his head slightly as she hovered over him.
“No wonder you’re back early,” she muttered as he offered her a lopsided grin. “You’re not a young man anymore, Lucas, honestly. Whatever happened? You’re supposed to keep the peace, not—”
A hand covered hers and he gestured for her to sit down. Patiently he waited for her to settle down before speaking. She knew she should be used to this happening, and she wondered every morning if he would come back safely, but every time he came home with a bruise or a scratch her heart still dropped.
“Just had some youngsters coming through headed to California,” Lucas sighed. “They were getting fresh with some of the young ladies in town, the Higgins girls. Then they bet I couldn’t wrestle any one of them so I did.”
“Of course that was to keep the girls safe, yes?” She raised an eyebrow.
He nodded. “Of course, dear. I wrestled each and every one of them.”
He started to laugh and then winced, touching his side. But Susannah crossed her arms, realizing that her husband had deliberately climbed into the way of trouble and had clearly done this to himself. As she gave him a look over, she realized his shirt was ripped and his pants were more than dirty. He was a filthy mess.
“I won, by the way,” he volunteered when she didn’t say anything.
“Are you sure about that?” She looked at him
with more doubt.
Lucas gave her a grin again, and his split lip started to bleed. Groaning, she stood up and pulled out her handkerchief. “You know you like patching me up,” he muttered. “And you would have liked seeing me beat those boys. Why, I walloped one of them so well, he was crying by the time it was all over.”
She gave him a reproving look. “I’m not sure that’s what you would consider nice behavior.”
He raised a finger. She stared at the bloody knuckles, wondering how those would come into play for plain wrestling, when he spoke up in a calm manner.
“Susannah, you know I don’t try to cause trouble. But these boys were asking for it, and they promised to keep by the station until their train came. We made a deal and they said they would keep to it because I won. And now the women in Rocky Ridge feel a little safer.”
The man had a point, but she didn’t like it. There was a small doubt that those youngsters wouldn’t listen, so she prayed to the Lord for safety. “Fine,” she muttered. “And how many were there?”
“Five.”
She stared in disapproval, wondering if he was trying to get killed. “Really, Lucas?”
“Did I say five?” He gave an odd smile. “I think it was just three, actually. Then again, maybe it was just two…”
She walked off. “I’m going to get the girls to start supper.” Shaking her head, Susannah suppressed a smile. That wasn’t something she could let him see.
The pounding in her heart slowed down the further she got from him, and she prayed to the Lord again to protect her husband. He was a good man, and had been a great lawman in Texas, she knew. She’d known that from the first day they had met. In the small town, he didn’t always get a chance to exercise his abilities and every now and then he felt the need to test them out. She understood this, but it didn’t mean she liked it.