“I did warn him, so no worries about that. We should be there in about twenty minutes.”
“Sounds good. Look forward to seeing you and meeting your friend.”
Erin spent the remainder of the drive trying to figure out how to respond to the questions that were inevitably going to be coming her way when she showed up with a man.
James pulled up shortly after she did and together they went up the shoveled walk to the steps that led to the large porch and the front door with a huge wreath on it. Erin didn’t bother to ring the doorbell before opening the door and leading James into utter chaos.
She was glad she’d had the chance to warn him about how it might be, but she could see from the stunned expression on his face that it was even more than he might have imagined. It was safe to say that none of the kids had been restricted on sugar that night.
They’d barely gotten their coats and boots off before she found herself on the receiving end of a couple of fly-by hugs as the younger kids greeted her with a tackle around the hips before heading back to whatever they were doing.
“Well, this is unexpected.”
Erin groaned at the sound of her foster brother’s voice. She looked up to see Forrest standing a couple of feet away, a mischievous look on his face. This was something she should have anticipated, but she’d been too busy berating herself for not allowing her logical to prevail.
“Hey, Forrest, this is James Dawson. James, this is Forrest Williams. He’s one of my foster brothers.”
James held out his hand, and as Forrest shook it, he said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“You too.” Forrest’s gaze went back and forth between him and Erin. “What exactly is your connection to Erin?”
Erin managed not to roll her eyes at Forrest’s forthright question. He was never one to beat around the bush. And to be honest, she was kind of curious to hear what James would say.
The man smiled broadly as he glanced at Erin before looking back at Forrest. “She’s my friend, and I’m grateful she took pity on me tonight and invited me along to your family celebration.”
“Friend?” Forrest’s brows drew together briefly, but then he shrugged. “Let me introduce you to a few other people here.”
Before Erin could protest, Forrest looped an arm around James’s shoulders—they were nearly the same height—and moved the man in the direction of where their foster father and Tennyson stood. A man that she didn’t recognize also stood with them, and she wondered if that was Nicole’s new boyfriend. It wasn’t unusual to arrive at a family gathering to find unfamiliar faces. That was just how it had always worked for as long as she could remember.
She shuffled out of the way of a couple of the kids who were playing tag and watched as James was introduced to the other men. Her romantic heart sighed as she took in the sight of him in a way she hadn’t been able to earlier. He looked so handsome in his black slacks and turtleneck underneath a light gray flecked blazer. Too bad the only role he could play in her life was that of friend…just like he’d said.
“We’re going to be having a talk.”
Erin glanced over to see Noella standing next to her. “About?”
“About?” Noella mimicked her question then lifted a dark brow. “Seriously? There’s a handsome man in this house who’s here because of you. There’s clearly something you haven’t been telling me.” She frowned. “Have I been so caught up in things with Finn that I haven’t noticed what was going on?” Her frown deepened further. “Well, of course, I have. That was kind of a dumb question. Have you needed to talk to me and I haven’t been there for you?”
Erin smiled to put her at ease. “It’s all fine, Noe. He really is just a friend. I knew from the start that it couldn’t be anything more. Let’s just say he’s not a fan of marriage, and I’m not sure where he stands when it comes to his faith. Even though Joanna is a Christian, it seems he hasn’t followed in her footsteps.”
Noella’s expression turned thoughtful as she looked over to where the men stood, Finn having joined them as well. “People change. Plans change.” She smiled at Erin. “I’m proof of that. James might have figured his life would unfold in a certain way, but just like me, he might find those things change after meeting the right person.”
Erin folded her arms, gripped the sleeves of the sweater she wore. “I really doubt I’m the right person for someone like James.”
Noella shrugged. “Only one person can really say for sure, and that’s James. He’s here with you tonight, so there must be something about you that he finds alluring.”
Erin snickered at that. She’d been called a lot of things in her life—cute and bubbly, for example—but alluring had never been one of them. “Honestly, I think I’m a novelty to him. A woman who isn’t out to date him. Who wants to be his friend.”
“Wait,” Noella said. “Did he ask you out?”
“Sort of. Indirectly.” Erin let her mind go back to the start of their…friendship. “But you know that I’m not even going to entertain the possibility of being with someone who doesn’t share my faith.”
“But maybe he’ll have a change of heart—on all fronts.”
Erin shook her head. “Not going to take that chance.”
James glanced over at her, his gaze lingering. Noella must have seen it because she murmured, “You might want to reconsider that. After praying about it, of course.” She paused. “You have prayed about it, right?”
Erin sighed. She had said that Noella could dish it back to her when it was her turn. “Not really.”
Now that Noella’s words had taken root in her mind, Erin found herself wondering about that. Why hadn’t she prayed about it? That really wasn’t like her at all. From the moment she’d realized that her romantic nature was going to be at war with her logical side when it came to James, she’d just tried to shove it all aside. She certainly hadn’t spent any time in prayer over it.
Maybe part of it was that she was just having a hard time believing that someone could change the way James seemed to have in such a short period of time. She wasn’t sure that something that had happened so quickly could be a long-term change.
Or maybe the biggest thing was that she was—plain and simple—a coward. She hadn’t thought she was. She had always believed she’d do anything for love. That she’d be like the heroines in the romances she read who would risk it all for love and to be with the man they loved. However, now when she was faced with the possibility of a romance of her own, she was too scared to even consider something with James. If he had really had a change of heart with regards to his faith and his outlook on marriage, was she brave enough to put her heart on the line and see where things went if that was what he wanted?
Erin wrapped her arms more tightly around herself. Though she’d had crushes over the years and had even dated a few guys she’d crushed on, none had made her feel the way James did. And that scared her because now—if James really was interested in her and she did choose to pursue something with him—she was faced with the reality of having to entrust her heart to a man who’d, not that long ago, had absolutely no interest in love, let alone marriage.
That was a huge step. One that Erin wasn’t entirely sure she was prepared to take.
James could certainly see why Erin had warned him that things would be lively at her foster parents’ place. In fact, he thought that perhaps she’d understated it a bit. The last time he’d been surrounded by so much…enthusiasm had been back when he was in elementary school. But since he wasn’t actually responsible for any of the kids running around hopped up on sugar, he could just grin and step out of the way when they careened in his direction.
What he couldn’t sidestep, however, were the questions that kept coming his way. He thought he’d clarified his connection with Erin pretty clearly, but it was like no one believed him. Of course, he knew he really shouldn’t fault them for that. Bringing someone of the opposite sex home at Christmas wasn’t really a “friendship” move
which was likely why he was getting questions like Where did you and Erin meet? How long have you known each other? What are your intentions?
That last one had come from Forrest who had said it in a rather joking tone, but James noticed that each man had looked at him curiously after Forrest had asked the question, obviously waiting for James’s answer.
The first two questions were easily answered. The last? Not so much. After all, his intentions and what Erin would accept from him were two different things. He hadn’t missed that she had kept her distance from him since they’d arrived, leaving Forrest to introduce him to the rest of the guys.
Given their rocky start, James wondered if there was any way for him to redeem himself. He was hoping that she would see that he was trying to make changes to his life. To be a better man. One that was worthy of her.
“We’re just friends,” James said as he tried to frame a response with regards to his intentions.
Forrest looped an arm around his shoulders once again. “Don’t worry about it, man. Erin has always felt the best romances were built on friendships.”
James thought the guy was just joking with him, but the other men seemed to be nodding their agreement.
“Yes, that’s very true,” Finn, the man James had met at the church, said, his Scottish accent giving the words an interesting lilt. “She said as much to me when Noella and I were trying to figure things out. That she thought it was great we were friends first.”
“See. There you go,” Forrest said, giving his shoulder a squeeze before letting go. “You just gotta be patient.”
James could be patient when he had to be—after all, in his profession, things rarely moved quickly—but it was hard to think about having to wait longer for Erin to see that he wanted more than just friendship with her.
“Hey! Do you play hockey?” It was once again Forrest engaging him in conversation.
“It’s been awhile,” James admitted. “I usually prefer to watch games on television or at the arena these days. Why?”
“We’re getting together on Boxing Day at some friends’ place outside the city. They make a backyard rink each year, and we go out there and spend time skating and playing hockey.”
“Don’t forget eating,” Tennyson said with a grin. “They have a ton of food too. But honestly, to call what Steve Callaghan creates a backyard rink is to do it a disservice.”
Forrest laughed. “True. It’s huge and has boards around it and everything. We’d love to have you come along. Erin will be there too.” He gave him a wink. “All the better to build your friendship.”
Well, that was hardly an opportunity that he would pass up. “Sounds great.” He pulled out his phone and, after opening his contact list, he handed it to Forrest. “Can you put your information in there and then text me with the details?”
Forrest took his phone and punched in some numbers. His own phone chirped, and he pulled it from his pocket as he handed James’s back to him. “I texted myself so now I have your number.”
Though his list of acquaintances was fairly long, James’s circle of close friends had always been small with Van being his closest. He considered Van’s sisters as friends too, but they rarely hung out. Truth be told, he spent most his time focused on work. If he wasn’t at the office, he was in his home office working on files. It seemed there was no end to what he needed to do on behalf of his clients.
But standing there with these men, James considered that if the changes in his life brought him more non-work friends, it wouldn’t be a bad thing.
At some point, Mrs. Johnson—or Kay as she told James to call her—got everyone divided into teams so they could play a game of charades. All the charades were Christmas related, and even the young kids could participate. The time they spent together reminded him a bit of Van’s family. They always enjoyed playing games as well, just not quite on this scale.
As the evening progressed, things settled down and at some point, Kay handed out pamphlets that had Christmas carols printed on them then encouraged Erin to sit down at the piano. James watched and listened in amazement as Erin proceeded to play each requested Christmas carol without even needing music in front of her.
Then Don Johnson retrieved a large Bible with a worn cover from the mantel by the tree. It reminded James of the Bible Nana used. As children snuggled up with older foster siblings or each other, a hush fell over the room, and Don began to read.
“And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered.”
Though this was the third time he’d heard the story so far this year, far more than he’d heard it in all other years combined, James still found himself transfixed by it. The wonder of knowing that God had sent His Son for the express purpose of being a savior for people just like him.
“For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”
James had always thought himself to be a good person, but this brought into focus all the more that he needed a Savior, and God had provided one for him before he’d even known that need.
“And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
He totally felt like Mary as he’d taken in everything over the past few weeks. Several times he’d found himself just sitting there thinking through everything. James looked over to where Erin sat, a small girl with dark hair and dusky skin curled against her. She was staring at the Christmas tree, her expression distant, and James wondered what was going through her mind.
Did she have any clue how she’d changed his life? James didn’t think she did. He knew she was trying to keep a distance between them, but there was just something in his heart that told him that she was someone special and he would be foolish to not try to win her heart. At least now it appeared he had the backing of her family so maybe he had a chance.
And really, that was all he wanted…a chance to show her that he wanted to be a better man for her.
CHAPTER NINE
Erin’s gaze went out of focus, causing the lights on the tree to blur as she listened to her dad read the Christmas story. It was a tradition from years past, but she never took their gatherings for granted. She looked down at Mira, the little girl who had only recently come to the home, and thought of some of the faces that had been there the previous year who were gone now.
She had great respect for her foster parents. They opened their hearts and their home so willingly and poured out their love without reservation to each child that crossed the threshold into their home. She knew it broke their hearts a little each time a child left them, particularly when they knew that the child was likely going back into an environment that wasn’t as safe and as filled with love as their home.
As she sat there, Erin realized that she was much more guarded with her heart than her parents were with theirs. She’d worked hard—even as a child—to not get too attached to the kids who came into the house. The only person she’d become attached to right away and had stayed that way with was Noella. For some reason, she’d known that Noella had needed her love, and Erin had given it freely. Thankfully, that hadn’t backfired on her. She’d become more attached to Forrest and Tennyson once they’d all aged out of the system and realized they could control whether or not they stayed in each other’s lives.
But now her heart wanted to open itself up to James and let him in. She glanced over at him and found him watching her, his expression serious. Her stomach seemed to flip while her heart skipped a beat. Erin struggled to clamp down on the feelings that threatened to flood her. She could not allow herself to fall for a man like James. He may look like a romantic hero, but she knew that a leopard didn’t change its spots. There was a reason he wasn’t interested in marriage, and she had a feeling that it went back to his childhood. She’d always known that issues from the past could have a long-lasting impact on a person. She just
hadn’t realized all the issues she herself had when it came to a romantic relationship.
Erin was glad when her dad finished reading the story and asked them to bow their heads while he prayed. It gave her an excuse to look away from James’s intense gaze, and she gratefully took it.
Once her dad had finished praying, conversations began to flow again. She and Noella went with their mom to put the younger kids to bed. It was fun to see their excitement, but Erin wondered if a couple of them were actually going to be able to fall asleep at all that night.
“You can’t stay up here forever, Erin.”
She turned to find Noella watching her as Erin stood looking into the room where the little girls were still whispering to each other. “If you bring me food, I think I could.”
Noella grinned. “It’s not like you to hide away.” She linked her arm through Erin’s and guided her away from the open doorway but thankfully didn’t make her go down the stairs. “What is it about James that scares you so much?”
Was she scared? Yes, she most definitely was. James made her feel vulnerable in a way that no man ever had, and she didn’t feel like she could trust him with that vulnerability. She’d seen a harder side to him when they’d first met, and she wasn’t convinced it wasn’t still there, just waiting to show itself again. That was not the sort of man she wanted to be with.
She’d always imagined that when she fell in love, it would feel beautiful and perfect. That her heart and mind would be totally in sync with each other. Instead, whatever she was feeling for James was messy and yes, scary. Her mind said to keep away from him while her heart just wanted her to be right next to him, looking up into his beautiful blue eyes.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” Erin said. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the evening.”
“Can I show you something?” Noella asked.
“Show me something? Of course.”
Noella held out her right hand, and Erin lifted it to look at the delicate ring she now wore. She recognized it as a Claddagh, and it looked like an heirloom. “That’s beautiful, Noe. Did Finn give that to you?”
The Sweetness of Her Love: A Christian Romance (Fostered by Love Book 2) Page 7