by Claire Adams
“I know, but . . . I can’t help thinking about Jacob, you know.”
Meg cocked her head to the side and folded her arms across her chest. “It's been three years since that jerk did what he did to you, Lilah. At some point, you’re going to have to let it go.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You weren’t the one who’s fiancé abandoned you a month before your wedding.”
“Aww, Lilah, I didn't mean to be insensitive. I know how much he hurt you, and I know pain like that takes more than just a little time to heal. But you can't let the actions of one man ruin the rest of them for you. There are some amazing guys out there—not all of them are like Jacob.”
I sighed before responding. “Maybe not, but Jacob had most of those qualities, too. Besides, it's not just about the pain and the need to protect myself. I mean, yes, there is that, but there's also the fact that . . . Well, I kind of enjoy being single.
“You know how it was when I was growing up. Dad was always out, I never had a mom, Eddie was gone half the time, and my other brothers either ignored me completely or pushed me around. I learned to be independent and stand up for myself at a fairly early age, and after surrendering that independence to another person—which is what happened when Jacob and I got engaged—I felt as if I'd lost a very important part of who I was.
“As much as it hurt when Jacob left me, on another level, it was actually a good thing because it gave me the chance to get that independence back. And while it was a terrible struggle to get through all of the hurt, it also forced me to get reacquainted with myself, to really develop and hone the strength I've always had inside me. It made me tap into the power to not just exist, but to thrive entirely on my own. And the thought of surrendering that to be with a man again is kind of, well, I don’t think I can do it. It almost makes me angry, in a way. I'm not so sure I could give up that part of me—even if Asher turns out to be some amazing guy.”
Meg chewed thoughtfully on a piece of sushi as she considered everything I'd just said. After taking a drink of her sake, she replied. “Did it cross your mind that maybe that's what he sees in you, and maybe that's what he's finding so attractive about you?
“I'm guessing the kind of women this guy is used to dealing with are models, bimbos, and other such types. All looks—jaw-droppingly gorgeous, most likely—but no substance whatsoever. Any intelligent man with any kind of integrity will get tired of those types eventually.
“And so, along you come, and you've not only got smokin' hot looks, but you're smart as hell, fiercely independent, and intensely motivated too. A guy like him, well . . . I'm guessing a girl like you is everything he's secretly dreamed about finding in a woman. How old did you say he was again?”
“He's 32.”
“Ah. Young enough to still be after fun and good times, but also old enough to want to start getting serious and thinking about settling down. If I were you, I'd give him a chance.”
“But my career, Meg. I have to think about what this would mean to my career. It's honestly the most important thing in the world to me aside from my family, and if anything went wrong and I lost my position in The Sinclair Agency—that would be career suicide and I don't know what I would do.”
“Yes, careers are important, Lilah, they are. But to make your career the end all be all of your entire existence while shutting everything else out . . . do you think that's healthy? Do you think that's a wise decision? There's a whole lot of life out there to be lived and experienced, and if you get too obsessed with one thing you might end up missing out on a lot of it. Think about it.”
I nodded as I finished off a slice of sushi. “I'll think about it, Meg, I will definitely think about it.”
Chapter Seven
Asher
I was hopped up on too much caffeine and feeling a bit like a caged animal. After working like a madman all morning, the walls of my office—as large and expansive as it was—were starting to feel as if they were closing in on me. I was in dire need of fresh air around me and open sky above me.
I saved my work, got up from my desk, and strode out of the office. It was time for lunch, and I intended to spend it outside. My personal assistant Jade looked surprised as I almost stormed past her.
“Are you all right, Mr. Sinclair?”
“Yeah. I'm just feeling, ya know, a little cooped up and frustrated. It's been a long week, and I've been burning the midnight oil every night. Between that and having too much damn coffee, I need to get outdoors for a short while.”
“All right. I was just about to order your usual Friday lunch from the Lebanese place—”
“No, don't worry about that. I'll pick up something myself.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Sinclair. See you shortly,” she said with her trademark cheery demeanor.
“Enjoy your lunch break, Jade.”
I hurried off and, as I rounded the corner before the elevator, I almost collided into someone.
“Lilah! We have got to stop bumping into each other like this,” I said with a grin. “I'm sorry, I almost knocked you over there.”
She looked up at me and smiled. “That you did! Good thing I have the reflexes of a cat, now isn’t it?”
I chuckled. “You do seem to have ninja skills!”
Her smile widened. “Where are you off to in such a hurry, Asher?”
“Oh, I'm not really sure. I’m just going a bit stir crazy in my office. You know how much work we've been putting in the last couple of days, and I don't think I've been getting enough sleep, and I definitely had too much coffee this morning and . . .
“Ah, see, I'm even rambling now. That’s a sure sign I need to get out of the office. I just need to get outdoors to walk around and try relax a little. It's a lovely day outside, and there are a few quiet, picturesque spots nearby that usually help me refocus and rejuvenate.”
“That sounds really nice. I was thinking earlier about taking a little stroll during lunch. I'm still trying to explore the neighborhood a bit, you know, find good lunch spots and such.”
“Well, would you like to come with me? I could show you a few places that are kind of off the radar. There are definitely a few hidden gems located in a back alley or two around here.”
Lilah smiled. “Back alleys, huh?”
“You’d be surprised,” I offered with a wink.
“Sure. Let me take these papers back to my office and get my purse. I'll be right with you.”
“Excellent. I'll wait by the elevators.”
She smiled again and hurried off toward her office. I couldn't help my eyes from lingering on the way her hips swayed as she walked away in her beige business suit. I tried to force my eyes off of the exquisite curves of her ass which moved so sensually as she went.
I shook my head to snap myself out of the trance I'd fallen into. I hoped there wasn’t anyone who had seen me staring. Luckily, nobody else was around.
After a minute or two, Lilah rounded the corner and smiled as our eyes met. A tingle rushed through to my nerve endings as her gaze met mine. As many times as I had seen her, her striking eyes still managed to stir something in me every time she looked at me.
“I’m ready to go,” she said.
I resisted an impulse to take her hand in mine. “Great, follow me.”
After we exited the building, I pointed across the street. “See that little alley over there?”
Her head tilted and she studied the direction in which I pointed. “Yeah?”
“We're gonna head down that way. We're going to Chinatown.”
“Chinatown? Isn't that a couple of miles away?”
“If you drive, yes. If you walk through the alleys, though, in a straight line it's only about a mile from here. You do like East Asian food, don't you?”
“I'm a huge fan of Asian food in general.”
“Excellent! You'll be spoiled with choices where we're going then.”
“Are we really going to be able to get there, eat, and get back all within an hour, Asher
?”
I paused and thought about this. My initial plan had just been to get out of the office, have a peaceful walk, relax in the Japanese Zen garden a couple of blocks away, and then grab some takeout that I could snack on during the afternoon. But having Lilah with me changed my train of thought in an instant. Getting all of that done wouldn't be possible in just an hour. Still, I was already feeling recharged and somehow I thought perhaps it was the idea of merely being in her presence.
“You know what, Lilah? We're not going to be able to do that in an hour.” My philosophy was that one hour of inspired, energized work was worth far more than three hours of moping, uninspired drudgery in which one was just waiting for workday to end.
She suddenly looked disappointed. “Yeah, I didn't think so. It's all right, we can head around the corner and grab a bite at that little cafe. The bagels are great there and—”
“Well, hold on a sec now, you didn't let me finish. Don't you find that you work more productively and more efficiently when you're feeling well-fed, relaxed, energized, and inspired?”
“Of course. I can get way more done and do a much better job in general when I'm feeling that way.”
“Well, then, as your boss—and as my own boss—I'm recommending that we take a two-hour lunch break.”
“Asher!” she exclaimed. “Come on, we can't bend the rules like that.”
“Listen, it makes more sense when you really think about it. It's been a long, hard week, right? We've both been slogging away relentlessly, haven't we? Spending way too many hours in the office.”
“I am feeling a little burned out, to be honest.”
“As am I. So, if we go about lunch in a rush, we're not really giving ourselves the opportunity to recharge properly, are we?” I inquired using my best defense lawyer voice.
“I guess not.”
“If we rush lunch instead of relaxing, we’re going to be thinking of the time ticking away and then have to hurry back into the office feeling frazzled and burned out. And then, we're going to be fighting off sleep while we try to get work done and our minds will be all over the place. The amount and quality of work we get done in the three hours until it’s time to go home will be poor and not so productive at best.”
She looked at me and grinned, almost conspiratorially. “I see what you're getting at.”
“Right?” I said encouragingly.
“So, what you’re saying is, if we take two hours instead, and we relax, eat a good meal, calm our minds, and enjoy our time out of the office without constantly checking our watches, we'll go back into work feeling refreshed and recharged, and get four hours' worth of work done in two hours, as opposed to one-hours’ worth of work in three?”
“Precisely. See? It makes perfect sense,” I assured her.
“Well, I won't tell the boss if you don't,” she declared as she winked at me playfully.
“My lips are sealed. The boss will never know. Oh wait, he already does,” I replied, winking back.
A thrill rushed through my veins when she laughed. I liked the feeling it gave me—making her smile, making her laugh. It had seemed like she’d been deliberately distant and cool the last few days. Whether that had been as a result of our drunken kiss that night, or simply because she was so focused on work, I couldn't tell, but it had been quietly tormenting me the whole time.
The truth was, since that kiss, I'd found it hard to get her off my mind. And, her aloofness over the past few days had made me think about her even more.
Nonetheless, I decided to play it cool and keep a bit of distance of my own. As much as she’d been on my mind, I wasn't sure if trying to get closer to her was the best course of action at that point. But those were thoughts I had when she wasn’t in close proximity. The moment she was close enough to touch, all logical thinking went out the window.
And so, for the next two hours, I just let things flow naturally. I felt so at ease in her presence, so calm and happy with her, that I simply wanted to enjoy the moment without analyzing or over-thinking our interactions.
“Come on,” I said. “Let's go to Chinatown.”
***
“It is remarkably peaceful here,” Lilah remarked as we strolled through the Zen garden.
We paused to watch an old, Japanese man painstakingly raking sand into a number of intricate patterns. Then we strolled across an ornate wooden bridge that crossed over a koi pond.
“The patterns in the sand will be destroyed in a few hours,” I said. “All of those hours of intense concentration and work will be erased.”
She looked surprised. “That's . . . kind of tragic,” she remarked. “It will all be lost?”
I nodded. “All of it. Nothing will remain. This is the nature of Zen Buddhism—there is no attachment.”
“How do you know so much about this? You've spent the last hour telling me all sorts of things about Shinto, Buddhism, and now this.”
“I took an extended sabbatical from the company several years ago. I felt I was losing my focus. I had been struggling to come to terms with the loss of my grandfather and there were other . . . family matters, on top of running the company and trying to get it to the top.
“So, I left it in the control of my grandfather's second-in-command—a close family friend who had been with the company and my grandfather from the beginning and came out of retirement for that short time to assist me—and I traveled for a few months. I spent time with an old family acquaintance in Japan at his remote mountain residence.”
“Oh, wow, maybe you are Batman,” she joked. “Seriously, though, that sounds like quite an experience.”
“It was. During the second World War, my grandfather served in the Pacific and he saved the life of a high-ranking Japanese Naval officer, Colonel Tanaka, who was about to be wrongfully executed for crimes he didn’t commit. He and my grandfather had become fast friends, and he told my grandfather he owed him a great debt that he was determined to repay.
“We visited the colonel a number of times when I was a boy. He lived in an old manor in the mountains which had been in his family for many generations. According to the stories I was told, he was the descendent of a prominent line of samurai warriors and, like his ancestors, he had maintained the traditions of the samurai.”
“Wow! That sounds like a movie.”
“It was kind of like a movie. I mean, the place looked like it must have been built 200 years ago, with a few modern conveniences thrown in of course. I loved going and staying there as a boy. My grandfather taught me to speak Japanese as a kid. I was pretty good at it, actually. I still try to keep it sharp by watching Japanese movies when I can, and I do have a few business contacts in Japan.”
“Nice. I speak Spanish pretty fluently myself, and I could survive in Italy if I had to.”
“Excellent. Everyone should try to master at least one other language besides their mother tongue, I think.”
“Agreed. Anyway, tell me more about your time in Japan,” her eyes lit up as she insisted I continue. It was endearing.
“Yeah, well, like I said, it was great for me. Colonel Tanaka, while in his nineties at the time, was still a skilled martial artist. Oddly enough, he really was a true master in the ways of the samurai. Ways that had been passed on to him from his father and his father's father before that. I told him I felt as if I'd lost my way, and that I needed to find my focus and drive again. I’ll never forget the smile that came over his face when he told me that the time had finally come for him to repay the debt he owed my grandfather. So, he took me in and trained me as if I was one of his own grandsons.”
“Trained you? In what way?”
“As a samurai.”
Lilah's jaw dropped, and I did my best not to laugh at the expression.
“No way. So, you’re telling me you lived in a Japanese manor that was a couple hundred years old and trained as an actual samurai, under a genuine samurai master?”
I smiled and nodded. “I did. Every morning I'd be up at 4:0
0 to meditate in front of the shrine for an hour. Then I'd spend the next three hours completing grueling, menial tasks, during which I wasn't allowed to speak a word or display any emotion. After that, I'd begin weapons training, which was followed by more meditation, and in the afternoons we'd perform hand-to-hand combat. The evenings were spent writing old style calligraphy with ink and brushes.”
“I don’t even know what to say. Wow just keeps coming to mind. This is totally not something I'd have expected from a . . .”
“A what? Someone like me? A financial mogul? A billionaire? Or let me guess, a playboy billionaire? I mean, that is the rumor, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” she replied, with a subtle blush coloring her cheeks.
“Well,” I said with a conspiratorial smile, “you might want to learn to expect the unexpected from me.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she offered, smiling softly. “So how did it all end up then?”
“Well, I’m here now, so I found my focus. I found my way. I bolstered my discipline and became, in mind and body, a warrior. Colonel Tanaka truly did repay his debt to my grandfather in full. He saved my life, without a doubt.”
“Saved your life? How so?”
“Before I went, I felt like I was spiraling out of control. The stress was getting to me. I wasn’t handling it well.
“After I returned, I found that the company had been in decline, despite the best efforts of my grandfather's trusted friend and former advisor. However, with my newfound sense of drive and purpose, instead of throwing in the towel, I was able to not only turn things around, but turn the Sinclair Agency into what it is today. In the years after I returned from Japan, I found the intensity of focus and purpose I needed to take us to the top and beyond. And in my personal life, as well, I found more peace than I'd ever known before.”
I couldn’t believe I had just told Lilah so much about myself. Only my parents and a couple of very close friends knew about my time in Japan. Of course, I didn’t share everything with her that was flooding my mind. I wanted to add that an unfulfilled longing still remained even after I’d returned from training with Colonel Tanaka. I'd done everything on my own up to that point and even after I’d returned, and I’d been quite happy doing things by myself.