by Claire Adams
"Oh, nice, you tell my whole family what's going on before you tell me?" I shouted. "You're a real piece of work, Adam Wallace!"
"Grace, let me explain—" Adam began.
"No! I don't care what your reason is!" I shouted knowing that I was being unreasonable, but powerless to stop the flow of hurt and rage that spilled over. "You lied to me and you humiliated me! You made me think you cared about me and then you...you...how could you?"
The dam broke and I began sobbing. All the pain from the past month bubbled to the surface as I sunk to the floor and cried like a child. Verity rose from the table and came and sat with me on the floor wrapping her arms around me and rocking me as she rested her chin on the top of my head.
"There, there, it's okay, Gracie," she whispered as she stroked my hair and hummed softly. "We've all been there. You've just been so busy being strong that you didn't get your turn to grieve. It's your turn now."
Her words cut the last thread of control I'd been holding onto and I began keening as Verity rocked me gently back and forth, back and forth. No one moved a muscle as I purged my grief.
"Gone...can't believe...nothing's the same...alone," I choked out as I cried into my sister's shoulder wailing, "I want them back!"
"We all do, Gracie," Verity murmured. "We all do, but they're not coming back, so we have to make do with what we have."
"I'm so sorry," I sobbed. "I was supposed to fix everything and it's all a mess now."
"It's not nearly as much of a mess as you think it is," Verity said rubbing my back. "Adam and I have figured out a way to take care of the store and get the turbines into the community."
"What? How?" I said looking up at her through teary eyes and wiped my nose with the back of my hand.
"Eeew, Grace! That's so gross!" Honor protested as she grabbed a dishtowel from the sink and threw it at me.
"And a dish towel is less gross?" I laughed weakly as I wiped my face with the towel and blew my nose into it.
"We can bleach it or turn it into a cleaning cloth," Honor said grinning.
"Grace, we've got a plan for the store, but you're going to have to forgive Adam for his mistakes if we're going to make this work," Verity said as she patted my shoulder and stood up offering me her hand. She pulled me up off the floor and pointed to a chair as she moved to the counter and fixed me a plate of leftovers.
"What do you know about his mistakes?" I grumbled still not looking at Adam.
"I know enough to know that good people make mistakes," she said setting the plate down in front of me. "And I also know that God's grace is dependent on us asking for forgiveness. Does God hold a grudge?"
"I don't know," I mumbled. "Did God find out about a secret fiancée during a huge party in front of hundreds of people?"
"Grace Miller!" Verity scolded as she slammed the palm of her hand down on the table. "It's sinful how full of pride you are! Mamm and Dat would be ashamed of your unwillingness to forgive!"
"It's okay, Verity," Adam said quietly. "I was kind of a jerk, and her anger isn't entirely undeserved."
I looked up at Adam surprised to hear him speak and even more surprised to hear him talk openly about what had happened at the reception.
"You told them?" I asked.
"I felt like I needed to confess my sins," he said sheepishly. "And I knew you wouldn't listen to me until you'd calmed down."
"So you thought you'd use my family as leverage?" I shot back.
"No, I thought I'd practice explaining what happened, and if they didn't forgive me, then I knew it would be unlikely that you would," he said.
"Well, it looks like it worked with them," I said icily. "Bravo."
"Knock it off, Grace," a tinny voice said from the other side of the table. I looked over to see Danny holding up the broken phone in one hand and signing at me with the other. "He's sorry he messed up. Can't you just accept his apology like you do with me when I mess up?"
"It's not that simple, little brother," I scoffed as I shot an irritated look at Adam. Now my family was on his side!
"Listen, I know you're mad at me, and I don't blame you at all," Adam said as he ran a hand through is hair and sighed. "I was caught between a rock and hard place, and I tried to take what I thought was the easy way out, but I totally misjudged the situation. And in my defense, I didn't know you'd be there!"
"Oh, wonderful," I said rolling my eyes. "So all of this is my fault because you were unable to prepare for my presence at the event?"
"God, Grace!" Adam shouted. "Can you please just cut me some slack and listen to what I have to say?"
"Fine," I said stubbornly crossing my arms over my chest and setting my jaw as I prepared to listen.
For the next half hour, Adam recounted the details of how he'd wound up standing next to his parents at the top of the stairs at the reception. As I listened, I realized that he, too, had been shouldering familial burden that he hadn't wanted to share with anyone else, and as he explained his reasoning it became clear that Adam and I were even more similar than I thought.
"So, you see? I didn't even know Veronica, and I told her that there was no way I was going to marry her," Adam finished. "I told her that there was someone else who'd stolen my heart, and I couldn't possibly betray that. Not even for my father."
I felt my heart pounding in my chest as Adam spoke. I understood what he was saying, but I wasn't ready to let go of the hurt yet.
"Grace, I'm sorry," he said looking at me expectantly. "Will you accept my apology?"
Adam looked at me expectantly.
"I'll accept your apology," I said. "We need you and your technology in order to make this plan work."
"Grace—" he began.
"Look, we don't have a lot of time and we need to get this show on the road," I said cutting him off before he could say another word.
"We need to plan for tomorrow's event," Verity said, trying to ease the awkwardness between us. "Let's talk about what we're going to do at the store."
Danny and Honor headed off to bed as the rest of us sat going over the details of the plan that Adam and Verity had worked up in my absence. It was a brilliant plan, but as I was well aware, even the most brilliant plans could go awry, but this time I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.
"Okay, I need to get some sleep," I yawned as I looked at the clock and realized that we only had a few hours before we had to be up and on our way to the store. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Adam looking at me, but I ignored his pointed stare and went upstairs to get ready for bed. I could hear Verity talking with Adam downstairs before she, too, came upstairs.
"Don't you think you're being a little hard on him, Grace?" she said as she peeked into my room on her way to her own room.
"No, I don't," I said stubbornly. "He humiliated me in front of all those people and made me feel like a fool."
"And then he prostrated himself before you in front of your whole family to ask your forgiveness," she said. "I'd say it's just about even."
"Not even close," I grumbled as I turned off the light and pulled the covers up to my chin.
"Oh Grace," Verity sighed as she pulled the door shut and left me alone in the darkness with my thoughts.
Chapter Forty-Four
Adam
Being able to explain myself to Grace in front of her family had been a relief, but her response had not been as positive as I'd imagined it would be, and now I was left wondering if I had blown my chance with her. I spent the night tossing and turning as I wondered what she was thinking upstairs in her room, and when Danny came to wake me up, I could barely drag myself out of bed.
"Morning, English," Honor said as she put a cup of coffee in front of me at the kitchen table. "You ready for your big show today?"
"Huh?" I mumbled as I picked up the cup and sipped the steaming liquid, hoping that it would breathe life into my tired body.
"Up, up, up, man!" Honor urged. "We're counting on you to do what you do best today!"
&n
bsp; "And that is?"
"Sell stuff, English!" she said giving me an irritated roll of the eyes. "C'mon, we need you to sell the turbines like you've never sold them before!"
"I never have sold them before," I muttered.
"Adam," she said looking around to make sure the kitchen was empty. "I'm gonna say this once and only once. Get your shit together, man."
"Honor Miller!" Grace bellowed as she walked into the kitchen and caught the tail end of the pep talk. "What on earth do you think you're doing, young lady?"
"Oh, get over yourself, Grace," Honor said rolling her eyes again. "I've heard worse, and I'm sure you have, too."
"What would Mamm and Dat say?" Grace asked.
"Dat swore all the time, Grace," Honor said as she refilled my coffee cup and slapped me on the back. "I'm just repeating his words of wisdom."
"I don't know what I'm going to do with you," Grace said as she poured herself a cup of coffee and rubbed her tired eyes.
"I'm sorry breakfast isn't ready yet," Verity said as she came in through the back door with a basket full of freshly laid eggs. "The hens were not giving their eggs up willingly!"
Verity quickly whipped up breakfast as Danny and Honor set the table. It wasn't long before we were holding hands and saying a silent blessing together. I could feel the warmth of Grace's hand in mine and I squeezed it gently looking for any sign of her ice melting, but I got nothing in return.
After breakfast dishes were done, I checked myself in the bathroom mirror and then knotted the tie I'd brought and pulled on my suit jacket. I surprised myself by sending up a small prayer that this professional look wouldn’t backfire on me, and then went out to join the rest in the buggy.
When we arrived at the store, the parking lot and hitching post were empty. I heard Grace breathe a sigh of relief as she hopped down from the buggy and went to open the back door. It wasn't long before the first group of people began to arrive, and as I watched the Amish farmers and their families grab carts and begin filling them tip, I felt completely out of place.
"C'mon, Adam," Verity whispered. "You're up!"
As the Amish families wandered the aisles, I picked up the microphone that was connected to the intercom system and began talking about the turbine systems and their benefits. I outlined the initial plan to install twenty turbines in the area and then explained how the excess energy generated by them would power the entire community of Corner Grove and then be sold back to the power company at a substantial profit. I explained the benefits of wind technology and the ways in which it fit perfectly into the Amish belief system and how it could support the community long after the elders had gone on to meet their maker.
Halfway through, Verity squeezed my arm and whispered, "It's working! Keep going, Adam!"
More families entered the store as I kept talking and the ones who had been there for my first pass at the information were filling in the gaps for those who hadn't heard my entire speech. I kept repeating the information and emphasizing how beneficial this would be for the community as more and more Amish entered the store. As the first group moved toward the checkout, I started the most important part of my sales pitch. I explained about the subsidies that would go back to the farmers who chose to allow turbines to be placed in their fields. As I talked about the amount per turbine the chatter reached a fevered pitch.
As families placed their items on the conveyer and waited to be rung up, Grace went from register to register handing out bags and telling people that there was no charge for the groceries today. She was met with shocked looks.
"What do you mean no charge?" an Amish woman in a stiff, dark bonnet yelled over the noise.
"I mean, no charge, Mrs. Stolfutz," Grace said with a smile. "Bishop Miller has decided to undercut our sales by opening a new grocery store at the end of the month, so we're giving away the store—literally."
"This is insane!" someone else yelled.
"No, it's just decent business practice," Grace said. "We can't sell this stock fast enough, so we're helping out the community and donating it to those in need."
In the baking aisle, an Amish mother with her five children in tow burst into tears as she loaded several, large bags of flour into her cart. Elsewhere in the store, people were emptying the shelves, but as I watched, I noticed that no one was hoarding the goods. Everyone was taking only what they needed and leaving the rest for those who would follow. I picked up on this theme and worked it in as I started the third round of explaining the turbine project.
At the door, Honor and Danny stood waiting with printouts of the information and sign-up sheets that anyone interested in the project could put their name and address on so we could stop by and talk to them about what the turbines entailed. On my fourth pass at the information, Honor looked over at me and gave me a thumb's up as she waited for yet another farmer to sign the paper.
By noon, the store was beginning to empty out as the Amish headed home to make dinner for their families, but we were far from finished. The farmers that Al had assured me he'd share the information about turbines with started pulling into the parking lot. As they entered the store, Grace handed them baskets and told them to shop the store for no charge. After the shock wore off, the farmers moved around the store in much the same way the Amish had, gathering needed supplies, but only taking as much as they could actually use. I repeated the turbine talk over and over as waves of afternoon shoppers entered the store and cleaned out the dairy case, baking supplies, and canned food aisle. Watching people's faces as Grace informed them that there was no charge for the groceries gave me a new appreciation for the farmers who worked the land in this area.
We worked without breaks as Verity brought food and drinks to us all and kept our spirits up by encouraging us to keep pushing the message. By eight o'clock, my voice had cracked and I was exhausted from having been talking over the intercom for almost twelve hours. When Grace finally locked the doors and turned out the lights, I collapsed into a chair as Verity handed me a cup of hot tea with lemon and honey and told me to drink it to soothe my throat.
"Well, that's done," Grace said as she came over to the desk where I'd been stationed and tossed the keys into a basket on the desk. "We're out of the grocery business for good."
"How did we do on the turbines?" I croaked looking up at her hopefully.
"You guys, we got fifty people to sign the sheets!" Honor yelled as she and Danny came racing across the store and dropped the clipboards on the desk. "We handed out a lot of information sheets to people who didn't want to sign up, but who wanted to know more about the turbines."
"That's great!" Verity cheered as she hugged them and then looked at Grace. "What about the store? Can we claim a tax deduction for giving it all away?"
"I'll have to do the books and see if we met the requirements, but it looks like we're really close from what I can see," Grace said as she pulled off her starched, white cap and threw it on top of the sign-up sheets. "I am never wearing that thing again!"
"Grace!" Verity cried. "What would Mamm and Dat say?"
"I think they'd say that I shouldn't be doing things simply to make other people happy," she said wearily. "And I think they'd tell me to follow my conscience and trust that they'd taught me everything I needed to know in order to do that."
"I think they'd be proud of you, Grace," Verity said as she hugged her sister and then looked at me. "Now it's up to you to turn this opportunity into the business you want, Adam!"
"Sure, sure," I croaked. "You guys take the easy part and leave me to do all the work!"
The sound of laughter echoed through the empty store and bounced off the bare walls as we celebrated our small victory.
Chapter Forty-Five
Epilogue
I had just finished setting out the celery flower center pieces on the long tables we'd set up in the barn when Adam came in to tell me he was worried that the weather wouldn't hold.
"I think a storm's moving in, Grace," he said with a wor
ried look on his face. “I'm not sure that holding this wedding outside is a good idea. Maybe we should move the whole thing into the barn?"
"Are you sure?" I asked looking at him as I shifted one of the centerpieces around so that the flowers were facing the table where the bride and groom would sit. "How do you know it's not just some clouds passing by and that the sun won't be out in time for the ceremony?"
"You're kidding me, right?" he said. "I spend my life working with wind turbines and you want to question my weather forecast?"
"In case you've forgotten, you're an engineer, not a meteorologist," I said with a knowing smile. That made him laugh a little as he gave in and put his arm around me.
"You're such a know-it-all," he said, kissing my softly. "So beautiful and so smart. How did I ever get so lucky?"
"If I remember correctly, you lost your cool and crashed your car," I teased as he wrapped his arms around me and held me close.
"Ahh, yes. My foolish youth," he said.
"Oh my God, that was only a few months ago!" I laughed as I slid my arms around his neck and returned his kiss.
In the week after we'd cleared out the store, Adam had sold the turbine project so well that he'd gotten permission to place one hundred turbines on farms across the Corner Grove area. Bugsy had had to call the manufacturer to ask if they could accommodate such a large order. They could and they did, and by late fall, Agape had erected almost three quarters of the turbines that they'd contracted for. The energy output immediately provided enough for the Corner Grove community and gave the farmer and businesses the power they needed at a deeply discounted price. The rental income on each farm's turbines kicked in almost immediately and many families went from subsistence living to being able to save money for next season's crops.
Adam received thank you notes from farmers and their families almost weekly. And the families, who'd benefitted from the grocery give-away we'd staged to help save us from losing our farm had been among the ones who'd approached Uncle Amos and demanded that he not shun the entire family. There'd been an uproar in the community over the role of lay people in determining church policy. This had been put to rest when Uncle Amos and those who wanted my family shunned splintered off into a separate ward and the rest elected Levi as their new bishop.