by Shayla Black
Heaving a long sigh, she rolled into his arms, placing her palm over the strong beat of his heart. “I hardly know where to start.”
“At the beginning, with your parents?”
She nodded. Time to let go.
“I resented them. That sounds terrible. They adopted me from a gray, unfeeling place. But at least at the orphanage, I expected that. When Deirdre and I were adopted, we had such high hopes. At first, it was all lace and fancy dresses, dolls, trips, and new toys. Then I realized my father was never there, and my mother was too busy with her social climbing to pay us girls much mind. Deirdre took on the motherly role, making sure my homework was done and I was tucked into bed with my prayers. But after a while, I became her mother in a sense. She had suffered abuse as a young child. For years, no amount of affection, attention, reassurance was ever enough. We were each other’s rock all through adolescence. I held her hand through a string of failed relationships. But as we grew older, she finally grew more confident, started making better choices. She began to shine.”
“Then came Alexei?”
“He stripped her back to that frightened girl. Years and years of progress, of assurance and hugs … all gone in months. I tried to rebuild her. Day and night, I stayed with her, talked to her, cried …” Felicia felt something inside her give way, and her chest all but caved in. She shook with the first sob. “It wasn’t enough.”
Simon wrapped a comforting hand around her shoulder. “Maybe Deirdre didn’t want to be saved. You invested yourself in her. She was the only person you’d ever totally been yourself with, given everything to. The only person you let yourself truly love.”
“Y-yes.”
“And she left you.”
“I … wasn’t enough for her. Why would I be for you?” She grabbed his shirt in a fist, a fresh dose of anger pouring through her. “Dragging me to the cemetery was awful and low—”
“And necessary. No matter what happens, if you’re ever going to be happy, you must heal. You can’t keep blaming yourself, your parents, Alexei, or anyone else for Deirdre’s choice. I know you hurt like hell. It wasn’t your failure or even her bad relationship that led her to her end. It was her. She lacked the will and the strength to heal. I refuse to believe that of you.”
Felicia choked back the retort on the tip of her tongue. Oh God, he was right. It wasn’t that she feared becoming suicidal. After she hadn’t been enough to save Deirdre, she’d feared being crushed again, regressing back to that little wide-eyed girl who’d first climbed into the Saffords’ car, feeling so alone, with high hopes and fairy tale dreams, only to be disappointed by reality.
Had she feared never finding happiness so much that she’d never allowed anyone but Deirdre the chance to be close to her? Yes.
A bitter realization.
“You’ve done so much for me,” she whispered to Simon.
“You owe me nothing.” His voice turned to steel.
Simon sounded angry, and in his shoes, she supposed she would be as well. To continually reach out to someone only to be rebuffed and have distance shoved between you would be excruciating. He was so strong, she’d never considered that he might have needs or fears that he’d like to unburden on her.
“I owe you an apology. I’ve asked a great deal of you, put you through a lot. I’m sorry.”
He merely grunted, and Felicia wasn’t sure what to make of that, so she pressed on.
“What about your childhood? Losing your father must have been difficult?”
“It was. But my mother was all I could have asked for in a parent. My stepfather was kind.”
“W-what about you and Mason?”
“We were close until I turned thirty and became a wizard. I had this instant obsession to understand what I was, and spent all my free time learning about magickind. Mason was an impressionable kid, and must have felt like an outsider suddenly. I didn’t even stop to think …” And Mason had come to resent him.
“I know you never meant to hurt him.”
“The only time I knowingly hurt him was when I took you.”
Felicia sighed into the silence. She didn’t want to be the cause of dissension between brothers, but nor did she want to risk a broken heart. A part of her was still furious that Simon had dragged her to the cemetery to face Deirdre. But she’d needed it, as she’d come to need him. If she wasn’t able to admit that she loved him, even if allowing him the power to hurt her terrified her, how long would he stay? And why should he?
Damn it, they needed to continue forging their bond, but she didn’t know what else to say or do.
Beneath her touch, his heart beat low and strong. The hard flesh and light dusting of hair under her palm made her remember the times he’d locked her in his embrace and claimed her completely. Her lips tingled with the need to feel his kiss, to feel her bare skin pressed to his.
“Simon?” She edged closer, following the delicious scents of midnight and citrus and man until she placed her lips on his stubbled cheek.
He tensed, but Felicia ignored him, chasing the line of his jaw to his delicious cleft chin. Then she crept up to his mouth, laying a seeking kiss directly on his firm lips.
“Felicia.” He grabbed her shoulders. “Not because Ice shamed you into it. Please.”
“He was right, but that isn’t why.” She surged free of his hold and covered his mouth with hers.
Felicia understood Simon’s reluctance. She’d kept secret the fact he was special and dear to her, that she’d fallen in love. Now, she tried to let go of all her fears and just be with him, shivering when he kissed her back, growing bold as he sank deep into her mouth, his hand clutching her nape.
Then he pulled away. “Don’t do this if you don’t mean it.”
His voice resounded with pain, and she ached as well. “I mean it. Very much. I’ve … missed you. I want to be close to you.”
“Why?”
Simon wanted her to give more than her body. He wanted something deeper. But rather than opening her mouth to just spit out the contents of her heart, couldn’t she simply show him?
When she moved her mouth to his again, he grabbed her shoulders and held her at bay. “Why?”
“You’re … important to me,” she whispered. “Very much so.”
“So is Mason,” he growled. “Or we wouldn’t be here now.”
Yes, but it wasn’t the same. He had to understand that. “I’ve never allowed myself to be this open with Mason. Please …”
She caressed his cheek, and he allowed the touch. Still, she sensed his upheaval, and something inside her wept with both frustration and disappointment in herself. She needed to let go and find a way to tell Simon how she felt.
“But you’ve also risked yourself for him in a way you never have with me.” He sighed heavily. “I’ve pledged to you my heart, my devotion, and my eternity. I’ve tried to be patient and understanding. I’ve tried, in my way, to help you heal. But you can’t say three words to me. I don’t want you to if you don’t mean them. Without them, though, I don’t know how much more there is to say.”
Fear struck her heart, made it shudder and quake. Was he giving up?
“You’re leaving me?”
“No. Merely … protecting my heart.”
He was closing himself off from her. Just as she’d done to him.
And the pain was immense.
“Don’t. Please,” she gasped. “I—” Love you. She swallowed, aching to say it. But fear seized her.
“You … ?” Even in the dark she could feel his intent stare.
“I feel more for you than I ever thought I’d let myself feel again. I know I’ll never feel this way about anyone else.” Please let that be enough for now. Love felt too new, towering and raw, to blurt in the dark when she couldn’t see his response in his eyes. When she was still trying to put Deirdre to rest.
Simon hesitated for a tense minute. She sensed his mind turning, deciding.
Suddenly, he cut her off with a kiss, his
lips a hard demand on hers. Felicia savored his male taste, their connection, with the bittersweet joy churning in her heart. His tongue swept inside her mouth, and she leaned in, fused to him by the pleasure of his kiss and the need building in her heart.
The kiss seared her, making arousal soar in her belly. Until Simon lifted his head, panting.
Waiting for her to make the next move.
Without hesitation, Felicia sat up, peeled away her coat and shirt, tore off her trainers, shimmied out of her jeans. Beside him, she barely felt the cold cavern air.
Then she reached for his hand—and placed his palm over her bare breast.
“Felicia?” he whispered thickly.
Her heart clamored in her chest, answering with a beat of love. “Thank you for everything. For taking me from my wedding and hiding me from Mathias. For mating with me to keep me safe. For showing me both parts of your life. For doing so much to heal me and make me feel adored.” Her heart jumped into her throat, and she choked out, “Don’t give up on me.”
Before Simon could react, Felicia pressed her bare skin against his sleek, tight-muscled body and covered his mouth with hers. He stiffened. For a terrible moment, Felicia feared he’d reject her, realize she hadn’t told him that she loved him and put more distance between them, perhaps permanently.
Instead he groaned, “I can’t stay away,” and possessed her lips with a single-minded intensity that made her blood sing.
Even more, something in Simon’s kiss was different. Desperate. More demanding. He wasn’t treating her like a fragile doll, but giving her the full force of a man’s desire. She’d felt hints of that before. But now, it overwhelmed her. His touch was like a brand preparing to claim every part of her.
With a shaking hand, he caressed his way down her nape, traced the line of her spine, caressed her hip, gripped her buttocks. She tingled everywhere he touched. She shivered when he urged her to her back and the soft welcome of their blankets.
He spread hungry kisses along her jaw, nipped at her neck. A hazy roar of pleasure charged through her as he moved down her body, his tongue taking unrelenting swipes at her nipples, sucking on her until she gripped his hair and cried out his name.
Nothing in her life had ever felt this right.
Bliss built in her body. She turned achy and wet. As Simon inched up to consume her with another fiery kiss, Felicia lifted her hips to him in frank invitation.
“I want you,” she whispered. “Only you.”
“You tempt me so damn much …” Simon groaned as he unzipped his jeans, shoved them down about his hips, and tunneled inside her.
Felicia welcomed him with a gasp as he filled her, thick, pulsing, so full of need. She could see nothing, but felt every emotion naked between them, stark, pulsing, bright. Hot need coiled deep, rolling like waves on a stormy sea. The urgency in his touch reached deep into her heart.
He withdrew, and Felicia stifled a whimper—until he grasped her wrists and held them above her head, fusing their mouths together as he began to ride her with urgent strokes.
Felicia nearly exploded in a pleasure so sublime, it did more than awaken her body; it dug deep inside her, cementing him in her heart forever. She latched on, feeling the muscles of his powerful shoulders bunch up and roll as he thrust deep. She knew what the faster pace and harsh male groans meant.
“More,” she gasped. “I need you. Oh God … yes!”
Her chant seemed to unleash something inside him. His fingers tightened on her wrists, matching the urgency of his hard, driving strokes. With every thrust, he possessed her more. The scent of him filled her, mixing with the heady sound of his heavy breaths and moans. Pleasure spiraled out of control. Felicia threw her head back and whimpered his name.
“Simon … Simon!”
“Yes. That’s me, inside you. No one else.”
“Never anyone else,” she vowed.
The pressure built, and her flesh quivered as she tightened around him. Her breathing escalated, out of control. Her heart revved like never before. More enthralling was the way she knew he was focused, as if every sense and pore were attuned to her.
Love swelled in her chest, threatening to choke her. Desperation seized her. If she opened up to him, would he really stay with her, even after the danger had ended, even if his own brother would hate him for it? Would he really still want her?
He kept swearing yes. Felicia clung to Simon, holding tight, wanting so badly to believe.
Her body raced out of control. Arousal flared even hotter now, streaming up her belly, down her legs. Every breath was hard to steal.
“Yes!” she cried into his chest. Don’t ever stop.
Every muscle in Simon’s body tightened, back, biceps, shoulders. God, how she wanted to see his face. Then thoughts fled as her world exploded. She screamed as ecstasy careened inside her, filling her to the brim with love. He followed her over the edge with a harsh cry of satisfaction, then held her close all through the night.
The group woke, but without light of any kind, it was impossible to know if morning had truly come. No one sounded refreshed. After that gritty, moving lovemaking with Felicia, Duke slept hard and woke hopeful. Something had shifted between them last night. He’d felt her in a way he never had. Would he be able to get under her barriers and use his magic now? She hadn’t told him that she loved him, but damn it, he’d sworn he could feel it in her touch.
Surreptitiously, he tried to use his magic to beam a simple spark of light from his wand. At first, he felt the magic gathering, building, then actually traveling. Another second and he’d succeed … but then he slammed into the thick walls of her barricades. She gasped. Duke knew that she must have felt his attempt. His enthusiasm for the day turned to dust.
“Simon—”
“Not now.” He was so damn disappointed, he couldn’t be responsible for what he’d say.
Was he deluding himself? Would she ever really allow herself to love him?
The others joined them. Together, they walked a few short minutes before they spotted a literal light at the end of the tunnel. It wasn’t sunlight or artificial light, but a low fire. The sounds of water and the scent of mold hung heavy in the suddenly humid air. A downpour of rain deluged the cavern ahead, emanating from the grayish stone above and into a swelling river.
“More magic?” Felicia asked.
“Yes. As you approach, the rain should stop, but something about this looks too easy. Be mindful of tricks,” Bram advised.
They emerged into the firelight, illuminated by wall torches in each corner of the room. The rain tapered off as she approached.
“This task calls for bravery.” She frowned. “To brave a downpour and a river?”
“See the bridge?” Ice pointed. “It exists for a reason.”
“Too right.” Bram edged closer to the moat. “I have a hunch. Anyone have something plastic they don’t need back?”
Felicia paused, then pulled a hair clip from her pocket. Bram took it, then knelt to the water and dipped the tip in. To Duke’s dismay, the entire end of the little hair ornament was suddenly gone, the jagged edges smoking with a burning chemical destruction.
“Acid?”
Bram nodded. “The rain, all the liquid in the river. All deadly.”
“What now?” Felicia asked, wide-eyed. “Since I’m here, can we simply walk over the bridge?”
“I suspect it’s largely decorative.”
“So that’s why Merlin said anyone completing this task must be brave.”
Bram rolled his eyes. “Probably my grandfather’s tongue-in-cheek synonym for ‘stupid.’ This task will come with a catch. I’ll go first. I have a better chance of anticipating Merlin’s schemes.”
Felicia frowned. “Shouldn’t I be near? If I make magic … dissipate or whatever, won’t I be helpful?”
“You’re close enough there.”
Bram headed to the bridge. Despite his assurance, Felicia followed, and Duke hovered nearby, determined to do
everything in his power to keep her safe.
The bridge shook, rattled, shuddered. Still, Bram placed one foot on the warped wood. It swayed but held. Then he placed the other. It clattered violently for something so fragile looking. Bram raced across and landed with a jump on the other shore.
“Now you,” he called to Felicia.
She turned to look at Duke, and he read need in her eyes, the same sort he’d felt in her touch last night. She couldn’t say the words to him, but damn if those blue eyes didn’t make him feel like the only man in her life. He prayed it wasn’t his own wishful heart convincing him that he had a future with this woman.
If they could escape this damn cavern alive.
“Come with me.” She held out her hand. “We should conquer this together.”
“Be careful,” Ice called. “That’s a damn rickety bridge.”
Yes, but if he was going to go down, he’d rather go with Felicia. With that thought, he put his hand in hers.
She stepped on first. Shockingly, the bridge didn’t move an inch. It was literally a placid walk in the park for them, and they stepped across to the other side without incident.
The trio looked back at Ice.
Just then, more of the mysterious moans echoed through the cavern. A female shriek. Then a man’s voice, “No. God, man. No!”
Duke froze. He knew that voice.
“Mason!” Felicia gasped and ran away from the bridge, to the other side of the cavern.
Duke charged after her at a dead run. He wished the voice was a trick of the mind, but if so, how had he and Felicia heard it at the same time? Could Mathias have snuck in behind them? Passed them and headed closer to the tomb as they slept? The range at which Felicia suppressed magic was certainly wide enough for any of those possibilities.
Whatever the explanation, he must stop her before she ran into danger. For all he knew, Mathias was using Mason to lure them somewhere to spring a trap.
“Felicia, stop!” He caught up to her, grabbed her arm just before she raced down a flight of steep spiral stairs that led to a hellish black pit of nothing. “Stop.”
“I heard Mason.”
“I did, too. But we must think smart. Ice, Bram, and I are with you for protection. You can’t dart off without us.”