“No way, I like this side of you.” I turn and pin him with a stare.
“Is this your way of telling me your back to the fun Sammy? Because if it is then, I’m sorry to inform you, you’re not funny, not even a little.” I’m totally lying. But he doesn’t need to know that.
“You’re just saying that because you're trying to get back at me for wanting to spank you, I’m fucking hilarious.” He sounds shocked like he’s had his favorite toy taken away. I just raise my eyebrow at him.
“Think what you want Sammy.” With that, I turn and walk into the kitchen.
“What have you done to Sam? He’s staring at you.” Nathan says, and I look back at Sammy and Nathan’s right he’s frozen to the spot staring at me with eyes narrowed. I burst out laughing.
“I told him he wasn’t as funny as he thought.” Soph laughs with me, and I see Sammy start walking towards us, I scoot behind Sophia while laughing. I can’t help it the look on his face is precious. It’s almost as if he’s losing a limb he looks so devastated. I’m only messing around with him, it’s too easy to wind him up. I hide behind Soph and cross my legs as I need to pee.
“Sweets. Hiding behind Sophia isn’t going to save that pretty ass of yours.” Damn that man. I peek my head from behind Soph and see him staring at me, he has a smirk on his face.
“You aren’t getting anywhere near my ass!” I feel Sophia’s body start shaking as she laughs at our antics.
“Want to bet?” His tone is challenging, yet it’s playful.
“Fine,” I say with a heavy sigh. I see his eyebrows shoot up, he’s shocked. Good.
“You serious about that Winter?” he says in such a gravelly tone, the cheeky bastard is trying to turn me on.
“Oh yes, you play with my ass I play with yours, it’s only fair. I’ll get you your very own butt plug. You know we need to stretch you out.” I say with the sweetest voice I can muster. I hear spluttering coming from Luke, who up until now was scoffing his breakfast down. And Nathan and Sophia are laughing so hard Soph is bent over.
“Sweets,” Sammy growls at me. Acting like a dog must be contagious.
“Yes, Sammy?” I say with the sweetest smile I own. He takes one look at my face, and he starts walking towards me, I hide further behind Sophia, and as he reaches her left side I dart to the right and run towards the giant that is Nathan, but before I get to him, I’m lifted into the air. I can’t help the slight tightening of my body as I’m being brought down against the front of Sammy’s body, and I flinch as my stomach comes into contact with his erection. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I’m walking towards the bathroom.
I make into my bedroom, and my hand touches the handle of the bathroom door when I feel him walk into the bedroom.
“Sweets, please stop, I never meant that to happen.” I sigh as I turn to him, and he sees the tears in my eyes.
“This is what I was talking about. We were doing fine, we were laughing and joking, and now I’m like a crazy woman, who the fuck flinches when they feel an erection?” I let the tears fall I’m so fucked up.
“Fuck. Please don’t cry. Seeing your tears, they fucking gut me. Remember the conversation we had in here just minutes ago? You take 10 steps back; I’m going to pull you right back to where we were?” I nod. I can’t believe it was only minutes ago.
“Well then prepare. You’re about to be pulled back.” With that he leans down and kisses me, it is the most tender kiss I have ever had. This man manages to make me forget everything with a kiss. I pull back this time, and I place my head on his chest and hug him. He pulls me closer and holds me tight.
“You okay now Sweets?” I nod into his chest. “Pulled back?” He asks me.
“Well and truly pulled back Sammy,” I say, and it’s true, he has pulled me out of my head, away from the self-doubt and the thoughts of David.
“Good. I’m glad I’m able to pull you back. Come on, it’s time for you to go, I’m a call away if you need me. No matter what Winter I’m so fucking proud of you. I should be finished by the time you are, if not get them to drop you off at the office.” I hold him tighter trying to savor this moment, because I know that the next few hours are going to be hard and draining.
Last night re-telling what happened was so fucking hard, but I knew I was safe because I was around people I knew would keep me safe. I was around people who I trusted. But now? Now I’m going to be alone, Luke may be there, but there isn’t going to be anything he can do. I’ll be telling the police everything, I’ll be re-living it once again, David will be in my head, and I honestly don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to keep him out.
Sammy must sense that I’m scared. He cradles the back of my neck pressing my forehead against his chest and kisses the crown of my head. We stay like this for a few minutes until he speaks.
“You’re a very brave woman, and we are all behind you 100%. If at any time you want to stop. You stop. Anytime you want to walk out of there you do. Nobody is going to force you again Sweets. You’ll have Sophia and Luke with you. Remember I’m only a call away, you ring me I’ll be there as soon as I can. Do you trust me?” It’s a question that he knows the answer to. I wouldn’t be in his arms if I didn’t. I nod my head, I don’t want to move and making a verbal answer would mean me moving away from the safety of his chest.
“He won’t stop until he’s caught. The only way to do that is to report him.” I know he’s right, but the thought of seeing David again had my heart rate skyrocketing. I start breathing too fast.
“Sweets? Hey, you’re home, you’re safe. Look at me Winter.” I do, and I see the beautiful face that is Sammy. His blue eyes swimming with worry. He sits me on the bed and kneels down in front of me I’m still breathing frantically. “Sweets like me.” He breathes in and out slowly, taking a deep breath in and releasing, I try and copy him. After a few minutes, Sammy reaches up and wipes the tears from my face. I didn’t even know I was crying. “Tell me what set you off?” He takes my hand and kisses the back of it.
“The thought of facing him again. I can’t do it, Sammy, I thought I could but I really can’t.” He nods and gets up and leaves the room, I scoot back on the bed and bring my knees up to my chest and hug them. I’m such a failure. I thought I could do this. I thought I could be brave but I can’t. I’m so lost in my internal battle that I didn’t notice everyone come into my bedroom.
Sophia walks over to my left side and sits beside me and hugs me sideways. Luke sits at the end of the bed, and Nathan sits in the chair beside the bed. I look around and see Sammy staring at me. I tilt my head to the right hoping he understands what I’m silently trying to say. He does. He sits on my right and I pull my hands from around my knees and take his hand. He squeezes it.
“Wints hon, I get that you’re scared. I really do. When I knew Mullah was after me, I wanted to hide. But I didn’t he had already killed so many people trying to get to me I had to face him. Whatever your decision hon, I’m behind you 100%.” The others are nodding; I look to Sammy who is just staring at me rubbing circles across the back of my hand.
I know one way or another I’m going to have to face him, do I want it to be when I’m unprepared? No. But that’s what’s going to happen if I don’t report him. I’ve been lucky so far not seeing him, he’s escalating, and I know it’s only a matter of a time before he comes for me.
“Okay, let’s go before I freak out again,” I say directly to Luke who gives me a sad smile and stands, Nathan does the same, and I wait for either Sammy or Soph to get off the bed so I can, but they’re both staring at each other. Finally, Sammy sighs and stands as well, the guys walk to the door as Soph pulls me into a big hug.
“No matter what I’ll be there with you, so will Luke, okay? You aren’t alone anymore hon, you have us.” I hug her back, so grateful to have amazing people in my life. She gets off the bed and pulls me into a proper hug.
I walk into the bathroom and clean my face, I hate crying it makes my eyes puffy and red. I do my be
st not to look like a clown and walk back into my bedroom, I’m double checking I have everything in my bag when I hear Sammy talk.
“Are you mad at me for telling them?” He sounds worried. I look over my shoulder at him and give him a small smile.
“No Sammy I’m not mad. I needed that, and I’m glad you told them.” I see the relief course through his body as it relaxes. I continue looking through my bag knowing there’s something I’m forgetting, I feel hands span around my hips to my stomach, I feel breath on my neck, and I know that as long as I have this man I’m safe. I lean into him, and he kisses the top of my head.
“What are you looking for Sweets?” Sammy says I that gravelly voice I’ve come to love.
“I don’t know, something is missing, and I can’t for the life of me think what it is.” He chuckles in my ear.
“Okay the important things, wallet, keys, and phone.” As he says phone it’s like a light bulb. That’s what I’ve been missing.
“Phone. Sammy, I need to find my phone.” I say with so much enthusiasm. I hate losing things. I hear and feel Sammy laughing, and I turn around and see that he is chuckling.
“What’s so funny?” He holds a finger up to me telling me to hold on as he tries to get a handle on it. I’m seriously confused. I sit on the bed waiting for a grown man to try and compose himself.
“Fuck, okay, look on your dresser right beside your bag.” And with that, he starts laughing again. I look to the dresser and see what has him laughing. There beside my bag is my phone, I’ve been staring at it the whole time. Fuck! I’m such an idiot. I stand and pick up my phone and put it in my bag all the while Sammy chuckles. I’m blaming it on the stress. I start to walk out of the room when he calls me back.
“Shit! I didn’t mean it in a bad way. With all the bad shit that has been going on a laugh is what I needed, so thank you.” He walks over to me and kisses me. Damn the bastard, that’s not fair, I’m never going to be able to be mad at him if he keeps kissing me senseless. I lean into the kiss, this time, it’s me that takes the lead. I push my tongue into his mouth, and it turns frantic. He grabs my hips and pulls me to him as I put one hand in his hair the other is roaming his back.
I hear my name being called by Luke letting me know that it’s time to go. I reluctantly pull back. I don’t want to, but I know this kiss is leading to a place I’m not ready to be at. Sammy puts his forehead against mine. I let out a rush of breath. I look up through my eyelashes to see he has his eyes closed.
He kisses my forehead and walks out of the room leaving me yet again confused by this man. I gather my bag and walk out after him. I start getting nervous again.
“Ready Wints?” Luke asks, and I nod, my throat tightens with fear. Knowing I’m going to have to re-live the attack has me scared. Luke stands and walks to the front door, Nathan and Soph are right behind him. I look at Sammy, and he must sense my fear, he walks over to me wrapping his arms around me. I sink into his embrace, inhaling his scent knowing when things start to get bad I will have this memory along with the last couple of weeks to know that not all men are complete assholes.
“You’ve got this.” Is all he says as he kisses my head and walks me to the door. He takes my hand and squeezes it. I look up and see that the others have started down the hallway towards the stairs. I take a deep breath and lock my door. I turn and see Sammy staring at me.
“Remember to call me if you need me or when you are finished. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He doesn’t give me a chance to reply as he pulls my hand and we both walk towards the staircase. We’re quiet the entire way down to the lobby, once outside I pull on my hand. Sammy stops and looks at me.
“I’m scared Sammy.” It’s a whispered confession; I see sadness creep into his eyes. I don’t want him to be sad, it’s not a look that I ever want to see him wear again.
“I know Sweets, I’m so fucking proud of you, not only have you survived what that fucker did to you, you have lived in fear for almost four years, how you managed that I will never know, but it’s time to reclaim your life. That starts here.” He’s right, I want my life back, I know it won’t ever be the same but I want a life better than jumping at shadows, reporting David is the only way forward.
“Thank you, Sammy.” He has a way of putting me back on track without pushing me. I kiss his cheek and walk towards Luke’s car. I see Soph and Nathan in an embrace to my left and Luke sitting in his car waiting on the two of us. He sees me approaching and gives me a bright smile. I open the front passenger’s door and jump in the front.
“You okay Wints?” His tone is so gentle and caring. It’s what Luke does, he tries to put me at ease.
“Yes, I’m okay. I need to do this.” He just nods, he has a proud smile on his face. The back door of the car opens and Soph slides in. We buckle up, and Luke pulls out of the parking lot.
It’s a silent car ride, the closer we get to the station the more my leg is bouncing, I’m so nervous. I’m not paying attention to anything around me I’m thinking of Sammy and his kisses and how quick his touch can comfort me. I feel a hand on my knee, and I scream. I look around and see that we’ve pulled over, and Luke is staring at me as Soph is leaning over my seat rubbing my hair trying to calm me. I take a few deep breaths and swallow the lump in my throat.
“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I was off in my own world and when you touched me it frightened me. I’m so- so sorry.” I feel so guilty these people are like my family, and I can’t even be normal around them.
“Don’t! Don’t you ever apologize! You haven’t done anything wrong. I shouldn’t have touched you. I pulled over because you were so silent and you weren’t answering us. I’m sorry.” Luke growls out. He has a tick in his jaw. I know that means his angry. I know he’s not angry with me but at the situation. I feel terrible, he was just trying to help, and I got so scared that I screamed.
“Okay. I know you told me not to apologize, but I need to. I know you would never hurt me. You just frightened me.” I try and explain, but I mumble it. Soph is still stroking my hair.
“Shush, we know. I promise Wints, Luke isn’t mad at you. He feels helpless.” Soph says. She’s always the voice of reason. Luke looks me over one more time and pulls back onto the road. Once again we’re back to silence. It doesn’t take long until we’re sitting outside the station in the parking lot.
We walk into the station, Soph is holding my hand, I reckon her hand’s lacking some blood by the tight grip I’ve got on it. Luke walks ahead of us, and we make it into the main lobby, and I realize that it is time to do this. I want to do this. I straighten up and take a deep breath. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m mentally preparing myself for it. Luke walks through a door, and a few minutes later he comes back with a female officer. They walk over to us. She looks fierce. She looks as though she can take Nathan down with just one move. That is saying something because Nathan is the biggest guy I know, Sammy and Ryder are a close second.
“Hi, you must be Winter, I’m Detective Yates.” She sticks out her hand for me to shake, she may look fierce, but she is polite.
“Hi, yes I’m Winter,” I say as I’m shaking her hand.
“I’ll bring you through to the interview room, and we can discuss this in private. Just so you know my partner Detective Jones will be present as well if that is okay with you?” She seems really nice, asking and not telling me things.
“That’s fine.” She nods and turns, and we follow, whereas Luke stays in the lobby. She leads us into the interview room, and I feel claustrophobic, it’s tiny. It has a table and four chairs, and that is it, the walls are gray and dull. They need to add some color to them. Soph guides me to the seat, and I sit, just as the door opens, and I’m frozen as everything comes rushing back.
“It’s been a while, Ms. Cortez.” Detective Jones says, and I give him a small smile. He was extremely kind to me the night of the attack, he was the one talking to me while the paramedic was checking me over at the scene
.
“Detective Jones, it’s really good to see you.” It’s the truth, he hasn’t really aged much since I last saw him. Detective Jones smiles at me.
“I have since been promoted. So Ms. Cortez, what can we help you with today?” He asks, and I look at Soph who gives me an encouraging nod.
“I remember everything about the attack, as well as who attacked me. He has also been calling me telling me he will see me soon.” I see Soph’s hands bunch into fists, and Officer Jones’ eyes darken a little.
“I’m sorry but can you get me caught up, I’m missing something,” Detective Yates says to Detective Jones.
“Right, so we were called to a scene where a woman in her early twenties is bleeding and disoriented, so myself and Officer Roberts go to the scene to find Ms. Cortez severely beaten, we go on to find that the victim has been sexually assaulted as well. Ms. Cortez is then brought to the hospital where she consents to a rape kit. We go to her house the next day with two detectives, and Ms. Cortez has no recollection of who it was that actually assaulted her. Eighteen months later Ms. Cortez leaves New York and moves to Hawaii.” I’m shocked, he remembers everything. How does he know I moved away? He must sense my confusion, and answers my silent question. “Ms. Cortez.” I stop him before he goes any further.
“Please call me Winter.” He nods and carries on before I interrupted him.
“Winter, some cases stay with me, and I can’t get them out of my head. Yours was one of them, I saw you that night I saw how frightened you were. I couldn’t get the image of you like that out of my head, you are the same age as my sister, so I kept an eye on you. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I’m sorry if that has upset you.” I have tears in my eyes. I can’t believe this man I met twice kept tabs on me because he wanted to make sure I was okay.
“It doesn’t upset me. Thank you for checking on me.” And a tear leaks down onto my cheek. I brush it off. Detective Jones doesn’t say anything he tilts his head to the ceiling. Everybody is silent for a few minutes until Detective Yates speaks.
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