Why does piss have to be so hot?
I wanted to almost cry from embarrassment, but who was here to witness this? If I didn’t tell no one, they won’t ever know. Please believe it.
I psyched myself out and walked back on the side of the house. Thank God for the street lights cause it was dark out here. I walked fast, because I didn’t know what Derrick’s plan was with Honda Civic. Was he gonna see her to the door right after, or were they gonna sit on the couch afterwards and talk, or were they gonna move it into his bedroom for another round?
Ain’t no telling with Derrick.
I couldn’t wait to hear why they weren’t in his bedroom in the first place.
I don’t think I could have sex in the living room having a male roommate and all. Well, maybe if he was out of town or something.
Men are nasty anyway, I thought. I just hoped I could get up and down the stairs without any interruptions. That would be embarrassing. As I let myself back through the gate, I tried to hear what was going on when I got back to the side living room window. But I didn’t want to stop my wet stride. I peeked around to the front of the house after I saw that Honda Civic was still here.
I moved faster up the stairs and snatched the key out of the keyhole holding all the keys together so I wouldn’t make a lot of noise. I skipped every other stair going down the porch and ran back into the backyard to safety. When I made it, I had to stop and take a deep breath. I exhaled deeply.
I still couldn’t wrap my mind around peeing on myself.
I decided that that was a good thing.
I gathered myself and let myself in the door. I went straight to the laundry room and stripped to my birthday suit. I loaded the washer with some of the other dirty clothes that were in the dirty clothes basket already, poured some liquid Tide on the load of clothes and started the wash.
Through the walls, I could hear Honda Civic’s moans coming through the wall and the headboard lightly hitting the wall came next.
“Oh my gosh, Derrick,” I said softly aloud.
I was ready for my exit, no need in sneaking around any corners ’cause these niccas were in too deep.
On my way to my bathroom, I grabbed some clean towels from the hallway closet and jumped into the shower with the water on hot. As the steam hit my skin, I couldn’t help but close my eyes and hold my head back. My head was going from left to right in slow motion.
I started thinking about Drew and how long we’d been together. How could he blow up on me like he did? I’d been holding us down for 15 years. I mean, I hadn’t been just watching TV all these years.
Yes, there’d been other men I’d kicked it with. Some I fell in love with. I got pregnant once or twice, had a miscarriage or two, had a heartbreak or three. I had a few one night stands, a few two night stands, and I’d had to beat up a baby mama too.
I’d come along way and I still found myself right back in Drew’s embrace.
It felt so right. The chemistry was so equal between us. How could he just think that he could call me all out of pocket like that? Did he feel ashamed of himself? Obviously, he was having a bad day but I was the sunshine through his rainy days, the peanut butter to his jelly, the syrup to his pancakes, the butter on his toast, the milk in his cereal, and the cheese for his burger.
I didn’t know what his problem was, but I was tired of the up and down with my love life, period. Seemed like I wasn’t getting nowhere. But for so long, I didn’t want it to go nowhere. I was 36, and looking toward my future. I bought this house with the intention of building a family, not roommate with Derrick. I’ll be the big 4-0 and something has to change or I’ll be the lady with the twenty cats.
No, I’ll have fish, no cats.
Yeah, I’ll be the old lady with a hundred gold fish. I laughed to myself, thinking about how nasty that tank would be with all those fishes in the tank just pooping in it all day.
As I used my Mary Kay body wash to clean all of my body parts, I began to pray to God for guidance and clarity.
Lord, I thought. Change my attitude. I wanted the courage to move on and have the relationship that I deserve. I wanted to overcome the junk that I was involved in. I needed the courage to welcome something new, and move from these unfulfilling relationships. Bring me who you have for me, I thought. And give me what I need to be ready for my husband. Amen.
I got out of the shower and dried off. I took my shower cap off and hung it on the door knob so it could dry. I slipped on a Warriors t-shirt and got in bed. The clock read 12:04 am. The sandman took me out before my head hit the pillow.
Chapter 14
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
Religious or Relationship?
I was up. I’d finished the laundry from earlier this morning. It was another beautiful day in Oakland. I was sitting on the couch looking out of the window. I admired how the sun was blessing us with her light. The sky was clear and the birds were chirping.
It was almost summertime.
I noticed that the Honda Civic was gone. I turned on the TV to Joyce Meyer as I decided to cook breakfast for Derrick and me. I turned up the TV a little so I could hear today’s word on “Religious or Relationship.”
Derrick was up but still in his room, blasting his rock music. He liked playing Guns n’ Roses after he had good sex. That boy had a catalog of music for days. Besides rap and R&B, he had a variety of rock, heavy metal, and pop.
I had a lot of music too, but I didn’t know much about Rock n’ Roll. I had a little soft rock but that was as far as it went. I had Kenny Loggins, Doobie Brothers, and The Bee Gees.
Derrick only played the Appetite For Destruction CD when the chick was good in bed, and on the couch, in this case. As a matter of fact, I needed to Febreze the funky couch. Ole nasty nicca! Based on her moaning, I measured Honda Civic about an eight, and I knew I would see her car again. Even still, I jumped up to boil some water for the grits. I wasn’t sure which couch they were on, so I freshened up both of them. After I was done, I decided to make some homemade biscuits and grill some applewood smoked bacon and some scrambled eggs. A breakfast fit for a king. Practicing for my king, I thought.
“Good morning.” Derrick said, coming out of his room.
“Good morning back at ya,” I said smiling.
“Yeah, I had one of dem nights with a young lady. I’m so tired. I am worn out and didn’t get any sleep actually.”
“I know.” I replied. “Ya was all over the living room.”
“Yeah, my bad. My intentions were to go get a room, but this chick doesn’t demand much but requires a lot. What is the difference? The “require” is the necessity of life and the “demands” are the wants. Ya know, the extra stuff. The good thing is what she requires, she can get herself and the things she demands, I can provide.”
“OK, D. Thanks for breaking it down.”
“No problem, but I bet I get some sleep tonight. What ya cooking Nee?”
“Just a little this and a little that.”
“Ok, well let me apologize for hitting some booty in the living room. I’m gonna air it out in here and burn some mango incense.”
I agreed.
Afterward, Derrick laid on the couch.
“Are you on the magical couch or is it the other one?”
“The other one and I had a beach towel laid down on it. I’m not completely a jerk off.”
Joyce Meyer took over our airwaves, after us being silent for close to twenty minutes. She began to testify about having an abusive father who sexually abused her.
“What is this all about Nee?”
“You’re not listening to her.”
“Naw, I fell asleep.”
“Well Brother D, she’s teaching us how to have a relationship with God instead of being “religious.” Be comfortable with God, fellowship wit
h Him so we can be restored in His love and enjoy our lives. A religious person goes to church, pays their offerings, does church work. See, they may do enough to stay out of hell but not enough to walk in victory. They don’t have an intimate relationship with God. Nowadays, religious people are not impressing non-believers. The big picture is, Jesus came into sin for us. He left heaven, and became a human to take on our sins, and He died for us.”
“I never got comfortable with God. Things seem so standard-ish.”
“He doesn’t want your formality; he wants your fellowship, which is conversation.”
“Why do y’all go to church then if all you gotta do is talk to Him?”
“To become an attorney you have to go to law school. To become a great basketball player like Kobe, ya gotta practice. Tiger practices, Serena practices. Church is where you prepare and learn to become a great Christian. The Bible is basic instructions before leaving earth.”
“The Bible isn’t all true,” Derrick said.
“Every person that met Jesus couldn’t wait to go tell someone else about Him. If it’s not all true, what part is? I stand on the Bible, and if I die and find out I wasted my time, oh well. But if I was right and the Bible was right and you were wrong, you are in a world of trouble ’cause eternity is a long time and hell is hot. If you want the proof that the word of God is real, try it. John 14:6 says it all in a nutshell. Try being a giver. Try forgiving yourself and others. Try praying to Him. Then watch Him work in you. Your walk will change, your talk will change. As you apply His principles, you’ll need to feed yourself on the Word of God. And you do that at church. Now let’s eat!”
After we ate, Derrick washed the dishes and I went to my bedroom to check on my crackberry. Najah had called twice and didn’t leave a message. That’s my girl! I hate that she moved to the Glen Cove area in Vallejo. She has a nice two-bedroom, two-bathroom townhouse. It’s just her and her cute Yorkie-poodle mix dog named Brooklyn. New York is her favorite city. She’s been there at least six times. So that’s why the dog’s name is Brooklyn.
I always told her if I get a dog I would name it Manhattan and Chelsea said if she was to get one she would name hers Harlem. Kalena doesn’t like dogs, but she said she would get a cat and name it Bronx.
Najah was a front office manager for a cardiologist. She had been there since she graduated from high school. She recently had a bad break-up with a loser and swore off men for now. She was always the voice of reason, so if that’s what she was doing, that’s what she was doing. The dude was trying to be a typical player—the kind that when you first meet him, he gives you all of his attention and then he changes. You chase that good feeling that he gave you, so you hang in there for way too long, thinking he would see how wonderful you are and switch it back to the great times.
That was Will, her ex. He only gave enough to keep her interested, but not satisfied. His whole program changed, only allowing him to make quick late night visits. He was a bona fide weedhead and had four kids. I wasn’t sure if he worked. That’s what I didn’t like the most about their situation.
Najah wasn’t sure where his three baby mamas stood in the middle of all of this. It kinda made us wonder what was going on with her that day that made him attractive to her. They kicked it heavily for about six months and were always together. If it wasn’t the movies, or dinner, it was hanging at Ms. Kitty’s in Emeryville, Pier 39 in San Francisco, or driving down to Monterey and spending the weekends there. They would drive to Reno so he could place bets on games and go to Napa for wine-tasting tours and mud baths.
Then all of a sudden, it stopped. The calls slowed down and the dating did, too. Najah was head over heels, and even when she knew she had got too deep too soon, it was too late. She couldn’t believe the mess she had gotten herself in. She just couldn’t believe he couldn’t see that she was a great catch. I would tell her obviously that’s not what he was looking for. But she was on a mission to get him to the altar. Chelsea chalked it up to him having a big package ’cause anybody could see it was over, but her. That relationship kept her on her knees, that’s for sure. When it hit the fan that he was secretly dating one of her co-workers—someone she considered a close friend—she was heartbroken, darn near suicidal.
Najah beat the mess out that girl in the office and caught a case. She was detained, had to pay a fine, and was put on probation for three years. Her boss, Dr. Newman, kept her but fired the heffa because the cameras showed the girl actually hit Najah first. Maybe that’s why she is trying celibacy.
She was keeping herself busy though. She was working and taking care of her dog and going to church four times a week. She went to church on Sunday, Bible study on Tuesday, choir rehearsal on Thursday and the single’s ministry on the first Friday of the month. She found a new church home in Vallejo at Ricky Nutt’s church, Revival Center on Tennessee Street. I’d visited a few times. They had some good church there. The pastor was pretty funny. Everyone was very friendly and they even had a violin player.
I called her back, and she answered on the first ring.
“Hello beautiful!” she greeted me with much cheer.
“Hey Boo Thang! How are ya?”
“I’m good,”
“What’s up?”
“Girl nothing, just seeing what’s up witcha.”
“Girl, ain’t nothing goin’ on over here. Derrick and I just finished breakfast and I’m going to commit the ultimate sin and—lay down.”
“Y’all must’ve had grits!” Najah said laughing.
“And you know this,” I answered. “What’s going on with you, Najie Pooh?”
“Ah well, I do have something to ask you. Were you at The Bench and Bar a couple of weeks ago?
The Bench and Bar? The gay spot?”
“Yeah.”
There was silence.
“Why?”
“Uh, one of my Facebook friends from elementary thought he saw you at Bench and Bar.”
I cut her off.
“Bench and Bar? That place is still open? Remember when we went there a long time ago just to see what it was like?”
“Yeah, that was funny.”
“Wasn’t it by Laney College?”
“Well, I think he told me they closed down for awhile and reopened somewhere else. But I don’t know.”
“Oh, ok. Well, no. It wasn’t me, and you know that, girl.”
“I know, but I was wondering about Jordyn.”
“Jordyn?”
“Well, who is she seeing?”
“I don’t think anyone,” I answered. “Are you trying to ask me if she’s gay? I mean, how does your friend know me when he sees me or her?”
“From all my pictures on Facebook. I uploaded the ones from this weekend and he asked me about you. You stood out with those pretty red velvet locs of yours.”
“Hmmm” was all I could say. Thinking about both of our locs being red, I think I might be ready to change my hair color this week.
My sister gay?
Naw, no way, I thought. Oakland was so small and everybody think they know everybody. Why was some random gay dude inquiring about me? He probably thought Najah was gay too; just all in her business.
“No, and tell your friend to find him some business.” I demanded.
“I know, huh,” she said. “I went on Jordyn’s Facebook page and she just has status updates of hanging out, working out and there was one picture of her and some dude named C. Fuller.”
“Thanks, Connie Chung, for the news report. But stop it ok? Jordyn is not gay!” I shouted.
“Ok, I am just the messenger. He wants me to go with him to the club, and I told him the devil was a lie and he needs to be healed. You know what he said to me, Nee?”
“No, what?” I really wasn’t interested.
“He said that if the
re was a pill he could have taken to not be gay, he would have overdosed on them a long time ago.”
“Ok, Najah, not to sound rude, but I’m done with this convo. I’m sleepy and about ready to take a nap.”
“Ok, boo. Sorry, but I just wanted to bring it to ya. That’s all.
I gotcha girl, goodbye.”
I ended the call without waiting for a response. I sat on my bed looking out into space and just shook my head.
I thought about praying, but just as I completed that thought, my crackberry was in my hands and next thang I knew, I was Googling the address to the Bench and Bar.
Right Before My Eyes Page 9