Derrick spit his food back onto his plate in shock.
Chelsea dropped her fork on the plate and cleared her throat as she patted Derrick on the back.
My eyes got big and froze in place. Mama’s face was about to explode.
“Henry don’t you say a word! Jordyn get your plate to go and get out of here now,” Mama demanded.
“Pop just said I could—”
“Bitch, get up and go right now!” she screamed.
“Whoa Mama, whoa,” I said as I could feel waterworks building and running down my face. It’s a twin thang.
“Shut your face, Journee, ’cause you are next.”
Mama had her elbow on the table; her hand was holding her head down. Her eyes were closed and tears were falling from her eyes.
I didn’t know what to do.
I saw Mama and Jordyn’s points, and had never seen this type of behavior from either of them.
Pop got up, rubbed his wife’s back and hugged her. She held him also. He kissed her on her forehead and headed into the kitchen. Chelsea held Mama’s hand.
Derrick and I sat still.
I tilted my head till my ear was laying on my shoulder so I couldn’t see anyone in my peripheral vision. I just closed my eyes and started praying:
Lord, guide us. We need you now. Help heal the broken hearts of my parents and bless Jordyn. I know our family will get through this, please Lord touch and heal us now.
I opened my eyes and took a deep breath.
“Mama, are you ok?”
“Yeah girl, you’ll understand when you become a mama. Your sister has really done it this time. The Bible speaks against homosexuality and that’s that. It’s just that simple. Can’t go against God’s word. With all the sin in the world, we need to be getting ourselves together to enter into the kingdom of God, not run around here doing the opposite. I love my daughter but I hate the sin she’s indulging in. It’s outrageous to me. I don’t know what to do or how to be.”
“All you can do is pray for her and love her,” I told her.
“Yeah, but this is gonna be hard. I need to call pastor. Ya know what makes me mad is she won’t be able to give me any grandbabies either. And before you add to it Derrick, I mean of my own.”
We all laughed.
“So, Mama, do you feel like getting to me or are you tired? I know Jordyn brought out the ugly in you.”
My sister and Pop came back into the dining room. Jordyn announced that she loved everyone and hopefully soon we would get past this and become tight again.
“Jordyn, when you get home, get on your knees and pray for your salvation. You need to hear from the Lord.”
“Ok, Mama.” she said. She turned around and Pop followed her to the front door.
I got up and followed.
“Jordyn, are you ok?”
“Yeah Journee, I am. I’m glad this is happening. It had to happen eventually.”
“How long has this been going on? You’ve caused a big mess.”
“I started exploring earlier this year. I don’t expect your approval, I just want to still be loved the same.”
“Well, we do love you, you just got to give us time to digest this, I guess.”
Pop was scratching his head. “Just go and be happy Jordyn. I’m tired and I wanna get your Mama settled down ’cause I gotta deal with her after y’all are all gone this evening. Go home Jordyn and call us before you go to bed.”
“Yeah, and call me if you need me. We’ll be out of here in a minute, too.” I added. “Okay y’all, I love you. Pop, I know you don’t know what to think or say. You don’t have to say nothing. Just love me like you’ve been doing,” Jordyn said. He nodded his head and we hugged and kissed her goodbye.
Inside, Chelsea, Derrick and Mama were laughing and talking about Chelsea becoming a mama and that made me feel lighter. But I was hoping that Jordyn’s name would not come up again tonight.
Pop and I sat back down.
“Is Jordyn okay?” Chelsea asked.
“Yeah, she’s cool. You can call and check on her later on.”
“Okay,” Chelsea said.
Mama looked at me and I looked at her.
“Now, Journee. I just wanna know if you and Drew are over. I mean, just because you met Mr. Wonderful and things are going good, have you thrown yourself into this relationship because of Drew?”
“Yes, I’m done with Drew. I’m getting older and I’m ready for my husband and baby.”
“Well, just because y’all have one fight, it’s over after all these years?”
I cleared my throat.
“I believe God sent Jules, because he’s said things to me that I’ve only discussed with God,” I said.
“Well how are things?”
“Things are good, I guess. But his ex-girlfriend is pregnant and she’s ghetto and wants him back and we are taking a timeout so he can figure out what he needs to do.”
“A timeout?” Pops asked puzzled. “You youngstas making up some dumb rules. You don’t need to be bothered with that as far as I’m concerned. Find someone new.”
“I did!” I shouted.
“Well, find someone else that is new. He has a big mess going on here.”
Pops stood up and said, “Derrick, let’s go watch some Obama news. This dinner party is over! Chelsea, don’t forget to take a plate with you too tonight. It’s for the baby.”
She smiled and said thank you.
“I’m glad he’s gone,” Mama continued, referring to my Pop. “Nee, I believe he’ll make the right decision. That girl is ghetto and you’re not. He’s probably never had someone as special as you are. He’s really into you I see, Nee. But the baby mama? That’s no problem.”
I was shocked that Mama was saying this.
“Y’all will be married within a year and take full custody of the baby and help him raise it.”
“Wow, Mama! I didn’t expect you to say that.”
“Girl c’mon, I know what’s going on these days. Yeah, and neither one of y’all getting any younger and I want some grandkids. Brandon is grown now and Derrick’s kids are teenagers now. It’s time for you guys to get married and have a family of your own. I want some real grandkids. Kids that look like me. Forty is approaching.”
“I know, don’t remind us,” Chelsea said.
“Well, I’ll help with babysitting. You know Mama Len said she had a dream that I had a daughter. Maybe that’s what Jules’ ex is having,” I said.
“No, if Mama Len was dreaming of your baby being a girl, she’s talking about you because I had the same dream too,” Mama said.
“Really?” I asked. Mama and Chelsea found it funny and laughed.
I wondered how all this was gonna take place. This was going all too fast for me.
I checked my crackberry to see if Jules called to say he was ready to get back with me and ole girl had a miscarriage. I was trying not to be mean and ask for an abortion, but that would work perfectly.
No calls from Jules. I was disappointed but hopeful.
I had two text messages, one from Sean. It read, “Hello?
Remember me?”
I replied, “Yep.”
He replied, “you must have a man.”
I texted, “yep.”
Then he replied, “don’t be a stranger. We are friends, by the way.”
I replied, “OK.”
Then it was Drew’s parents’ house calling me again.
I sent the call to voicemail and read another text from Kalena, “I think I’m gonna like his mama. Brandon says hello godmommy.”
I was ready to leave. I was catching the itis and wanted to drop Derrick off so I could swing by The Mills’ house.
It had been awhil
e since I dropped by, plus they had called me twice.
Chapter 29
ZOOM
I got in the Range Rover as fast as I could. I was having a moment and needed something real good to listen to. I pulled out all of my CDs, looking for the only one that could help me right now.
There was too much going on.
It was Election Day and I was sitting in front of Drew’s parents’ house.
Mr. Mills was at the door watching me to my car and waiting for me to drive off. But I couldn’t. I needed a stiff one right now.
I found the right CD mix from Jordyn. It was volume 6, and I wanted to hear Zoom by The Commodores. I smiled and waved as Mr. Mills went back inside the house. I just simply adored Drew’s family. I just had the visit I couldn’t dream of in all my wildest dreams.
The one thing we’d all been waiting to hear had happened. Twelve years had passed and Drew’s attorney finally found a break in his case.
They gave him a lie detector test. He passed and now he’d be released from prison and would be coming home within the next six to nine months.
Even though he and I were not together, his parents still treated me like their daughter. I’d been adopted into their family years ago. I had a relationship with his mama and nothing could stop that. The one thing that was bothering me was how I was I supposed to celebrate his homecoming when we weren’t an item. Was Jules supposed to come with me to his “Welcome Home” party?
Breaking up didn’t seem to ever be apart of our plans. We’d done the friends with benefits thing forever, because being exclusive drove us both crazy.
We finally realized our situation was not cool, and the only way things could go well was to do whatever we wanted—just don’t do any of my friends and if you fall in love with someone else, just tell me and I’ll leave you alone. That worked as long as I was chasing behind Jason, but I didn’t think Drew and I would really fall out.
I thought more about bringing Jules as a date, along with Drew having a new boo on his arm. That’s supposed to be me.
Wow! I decided that if Drew called again, I would answer his call. We needed to talk about this. I wouldn’t be able to go over to his parents’ house whenever I wanted.
To avoid him and his chick, I would have to call first and then eventually the new girl would be his wife and my replacement. His nieces and nephews would call her Tee Tee and not me. His brother would call her Sis and not me.
I wasn’t liking this too much. I was there for every birth of the kids, birthday parties, the kid’s plays, fellowship at church, graduations, some holidays, movies, concerts, hospital visits, and we’ve gone to dinner so many times.
“I’m the damn wife!” I said out loud.
Whew!
I needed things sorted out and talked through. Zoom went off and I repeated it ’cause I didn’t hear it the first two times it was on.
Jules had been calling me like crazy, but I had my phone on silent.
Drew’s mama and I had talked for a few hours and had coffee while we watched the news about the election.
Everyone was so excited for change.
Bush did a lot of us dirty. Our nation was in bad shape and we needed a bailout badly.
As soon as I picked up my crackberry, it rang. I finally drove off.
It was Jules again.
“Did you get my messages?”
“No,” I said dryly. Did you vote today?”
“Yes, I voted. I went right to the church around the corner.”
He was loud and acting like a little boy. He was such a moodkiller. I was beginning to not miss him as I listened to him venting his frustrations.
“The ex had a miscarriage,” he said.
I thought Jules would have been happy like I was, but I could tell he wasn’t.
“So, I guess you got your wish! You happy now?”
I didn’t want to answer and scream “hell yes” because he sounded sad. He didn’t understand why this was happening to him. “Maybe because she was a ghetto hood rat and she had stressed herself out, causing a miscarriage,” I thought to myself as he told his story.
“All I wanted was that baby,” he said. “I did right by her and the baby.”
Why is God punishing me? I thought. What the heck was he talking about when he said he did right by her?
I just listened. I was excited, thinking about the possibility that our next president could possibly be a black man until he asked me to take a pregnancy test.
“I told you I wanted to take the test with you there,” I said. “I bought an EPT test the last time I went to Target.”
He really wanted me to take the test as soon as I got home. He said he needed more time to get over the loss of the baby. I didn’t understand that because he had me. I’m willing and able and have been waiting on him, but this timeout was getting on my nerves.
I had to meet with Jason and Drew for closure, so that I could make this relationship work. But when Jules went into another tangent, I disconnected the call. I decided that I better wait on that stiff one ’cause there might be a bun in my oven. I turned the volume up so I could “Zoom” with Lionel Richie all the way home.
Soon as I got two feet in the door, he called again.
“Stop calling me Julius.”
“I’m just trying to see if we’re having a baby. I need something to cheer me up, Journee.”
“Okay,” I surrendered.
I went into the bathroom and picked up the EPT and peed on it.
I sat it on a paper towel as I finished up on the toilet. I asked if I could call him back when I had the answer from the test.
He said he would call back in five minutes. I hung up.
I hovered over the towel, waiting on the test. Honestly, I didn’t know if I was gonna be happy or sad either way. But my stomach was in knots. Before I knew it, it showed me one line. I remembered that I had taken a morning after pill the day of our slip up. Well, I can say at least those pills do work. I smiled.
I made some margaritas with Patron for me and Derrick. I went into his room where he was packing getting ready for his comedy tour.
I handed him his drink and sat down with mine.
“Hey, D,” I said.
“Hey there Nee, what’s up?”
“How you doing?”
“I’m cool.”
“You packing early aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I gotta do it now because I got a busy week ahead. With the wedding this weekend, I don’t want to wait till the last minute ’cause I want to get ripped at the reception.”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Yep.”
“I know you’re excited about your tour.”
“Yes, I am. This is the big break that might get me closer to the top. Ya know?”
“Yeah, you gonna miss your kids huh?”
“Yes, I am. But they got their Ghet-tros on so I can call them. I got a buddy that works at Southwest and she got buddy passes for me to fly back for the holidays next month. It’ll work out. It’s only for three months. Mama will help my baby mama out with the transportation and y’all gone look after them, right?
He paused and looked at me.
“You got that look on your face, Journee. It tells me you need to talk. So get-ta talking so we can tune in to the races and see history take a different turn when that black man wins this election.”
“You’re right. There’s a lot going on. The wedding is Saturday and that’s the great part that’s going on.” I sat down on his bed as he was taking clothes out of his closet, folding them and packing them into a green suitcase. “I’m so happy for Kalena and Todd. But my happy is being interrupted with,” I took a deep breath, “Jules and his drama. Let’s face it, he needs his own reality show.”
> “That dude is a character and that chick he got knocked up is crazy too,” Derrick said. “They just hollering and fighting all out in public in front of crowds of people. He was just disrespecting her to the fullest.”
Right Before My Eyes Page 21