“Journee didn’t tell you that she got married yesterday?”
“Naw, she didn’t,” he looked at me.
His attention went to Chelsea and her stomach.
“Well, finally one of y’all got knocked up, except for you Journee,” he said quickly.
We all laughed. He rubbed her stomach to see if it was real.
“Wow girl, you’re having a girl,” he said as they hugged.
“I hope it’s a boy, Drew. I don’t wanna comb no hair.”
“Lock her hair up like Journee’s then. That’ll be cute.”
“Ok, Drew, I’ll consider it.” Chelsea agreed.
“Well how’s my baby doing?” I asked as we embraced. I immediately kissed him. It felt so right and I didn’t want to let him go, but there were rules in this place, and the tonguing could only come at the end of the visit.
“Let’s find us somewhere to sit. Y’all wanna sit outside or inside?” he asked.
We let Chelsea decided for us and she chose inside.
Drew started singing It Ain’t Nothing but a Gangsta Party!
“Drew is crazy,” Ashley said to me.
“Yes, girl. He has an amazing sense of humor in such a restricted environment. The Lord has given this man peace and faith out of this world. He has a true testimony,” I told her.
We sat down and Drew wanted to hear all about the wedding. Ashley, Najah and Chelsea were giving him the 411 and he kept looking at me the whole time and I was looking at him the whole time.
He let the girls finish telling the story and when they were done he asked about Jordyn.
The mood changed. No one was jumping into that pond.
“Oh, she’s tired from doing all of our hair and makeup and being in the wedding. It was too much for her. She’s probably still sleeping, poor girl.”
“Oh yeah. Were you guys looking good for Kalena?”
“Yes,” we all agreed.
Drew changed the subject towards me.
“Hey, y’all, if looks could kill I would be dead.”
Chelsea caught on and asked is Journee the guilty one.
“Uh huh.”
I was unaware and asked what? Drew stood up.
“Hold on y’all. She and I got some things to talk about. Excuse us, but we’ll be right back. Journee, can I talk to you over there?” he asked while pointing to the outside patio area.
I said “yeah” and stood up, and he followed me.
“Look, Drew I don’t have much to say, so you talk and I’ll listen.”
“Good,” Drew said, “’cause baby I’m deeply sorry for coming at you the way I did. There was no excuse to take my anger out on you. I don’t want to live without you. I’m coming home soon and I can’t even picture my life on the streets without you. Journee Faith Bell, love you like family. Shoot, we are family.”
“Ok, you’ve apologized and I accept it. But Drew, I’ve been down a ruff road since we’ve broken up. I’ve tried moving on without you. I’ve convinced myself that I could replace you. I’ve tried to convince myself you’re never coming home. The waterworks begin. I’ve even tried to convince myself that you don’t love me anymore. All just to not get hurt again. But I met someone new who came into my life to prove me all wrong. He had a personality just like yours. Loving and caring. Attentive and fun to be around, but he was not one hundred percent available to go down this journey with me. One thing he lacked and that was heart! He didn’t have the heart to fight for our relationship, he left it up to chance. So, I want to thank you for fighting for us and being man enough to do the work that it takes for a relationship to work. But let me say this, don’t you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever talk to me crazy again. You got that Andrew Lee Mills? If there’s anything that is bothering you, you know you can always talk to me. Don’t get so caught up in this jail shit that you lose who you are. We don’t know why this happened, or maybe you do. But God is everything and we tend to forget that sometimes. Even when you are feeling left out or sometimes you think God has forgotten you, trust that everything is under control. Read Isaiah 55 often and rest in the assurance that this situation will work out in His perfect timing.”
“You right, Nee, and I choose to love you period,” Drew said.
“Wow!” I said, “Okay, but let’s just take this thang slow ’cause I need my peace back.”
Drew replied, “Build up the walls of your spiritual Jerusalem. Your peace is there ’cause God is there with you.”
I smiled at him.
He is a miracle.
It’s amazing how God has kept his heart, soul, and mind through these 12 years. I can come to prison to get encouragement and love.
He wiped my face instead of patting it and I didn’t even try to correct him.
“This time around, let’s keep God first.” he said. I agreed.
He asked for a hug and I gave him the biggest one I had to give. I really loved Drew and I was ok with that.
“Oh and by the way, Jordyn is now gay.”
“Whaaaa?” he asked. “She’s just going through a phase. She’ll be back, that right guy gotta find her.”
We walked back in to join the gangsta party. They had all kinds of food at the table: chicken wings, cheeseburgers, oranges, water, popcorn and cookies. We all took pictures with Drew. Then he and I took two together. We laughed, talked and reminisced until 3 pm.
Then our visit was over.
Time flew by, but there was always next weekend. Before we kissed passionately, he asked me to come back and visit him next week alone.
I smiled and whispered, “I don’t go nowhere unprepared.” I brought my divas with me for back up. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I needed moral support.
After we all got off the shuttle van that picked us up from the visiting room, we got back in the Range Rover and headed back to I-80. It seemed as though everyone enjoyed themselves.
“That was just what you needed, Nee,” Najah said.
I nodded.
“Yeah,” Chelsea added. “It was good to see brother-in-law again.”
I smiled.
“Yeah, and the good part is that he’s finally coming home to you, Nee,” Ashley added.
“I know. I’m so glad, it’s been forever but that time went by kinda fast,” I said.
“Well I guess now you need to go home and make some space in your closet for him,” Ashley said.
“Derrick said he’s moving next year. Drew can have his closet,” I said.
“Well, not to change the subject, but to change the subject. Y’all know I gave the photographer my number,” Najah announced.
“You did?” Chelsea asked.
“Yeah, I thought you wasn’t interested. Talking all that ying yang,” I said.
“Well, while you were partying with Jason and Ashley was with her dude, Jordyn was with Chris, Chelsea was dancing with Greg and Derrick was in some girl’s face all night, let’s just say that gave him ample time to make his way over to me. So we talked last night and he called me this morning. We have a date tonight!” She sounded so excited.
“You do? Where y’all going?”
“Yoshi’s in San Francisco. Mos Def is performing and y’all know I adore me some Mos Def,” Najah said.
We all were hollering and carrying on for Najah. Whew! Thank God, she was opening herself up to opportunities.
“Well Najie,” Chelsea said, “I’ma tell you like my mama told me, never regret. If it’s good, that’s wonderful and if it’s bad, it’s another experience. So soak it all up girl.”
“Thank you Chelsea,” Najah said.
“Now, I have something to share too.”
“You do?” I asked.
“Greg and I,
were gonna jet off to Vegas and get married, but I think we need to take some premarital classes first. So we start tomorrow with the pastor that married Kalena and Todd,” Chelsea said.
“Yeah, Pastor Jones,” Ashley reminded her.
“We’re also putting off shacking together. We eventually will move in but not right now.”
“What brought this on?” Najah asked.
“Well, there’s been some hurt feelings there and instead of burying them under insecurities and causing more problems, we decide that we need to figure out how to feel free and clear. You know, get back on track and let stuff go. He shared something with me the other night. He said, it’s the stuff that you believe in that causes you to behave the way you do.”
“Makes sense,” Najah said.
“Yeah I totally believe that,” I said. “You can’t get something from someone who doesn’t know how to give it to you, that’s for sure.”
Greg ain’t so bad after all, I thought to myself. He may not be what we all want him to be for Chelsea but he just may be exactly what she needs him to be.
We are all natural spirits struggling in a human experience. I need to find comfort in knowing there’s a master plan and realizing that the control I think I have is limited. I will embrace my journey and learn from people and circumstances in my life. Knowing that everything happens for a reason.
My thoughts were interrupted when Ashley’s phone rang. I could hear that it was Mama Len and something happened to Kalena and Todd on the cruise.
From my backseat, Ashley was hollering and screaming.
“Mama, no!!!!!!!!!!”
“Something told me to pull off the freeway and I did.
I got off on Green Valley Road. It was nothing there but land and some office buildings that sat off of the road. Ashley was crying and Najah was rubbing her back and crying too.
“What happened to Kalena?” Chelsea turned around and asked Ashley, trying to remain calm. But her eyes filled up with tears too, then mine.
Ashley was the strong one. She never showed emotion, like Jordyn. As she cried, I knew something was seriously wrong.
Ashley held her head low and said with a shaky voice, “It’s not Kalena. My brother-in-law just died on their honeymoon,” Ashley said.
I was speechless. Empty. I felt so much pain for Kalena. I wanted to run to her and hug her. She needed us, but she was somewhere between here and Mexico, all alone.
Right Before My Eyes Page 26