“It won’t be fine,” Eliot argued. “I’m not just going to sit here and pretend that this isn’t a real problem. I’m not going to pretend that my feelings don’t matter.”
“And I’m not going to be dictated to,” I said quietly.
“Then I guess we both have some things to think about,” Eliot replied sadly.
I guess we did – and boy was Tad Ludington going to pay for this fight. I was really pissed now.
Twenty-Seven
Once I got in my car, I thought I knew where I was going. I was so frustrated, though, that I meandered throughout the middle of the county for a full hour – just daring someone to take a shot at me in my car – before heading home.
When I got to the house, I realized I hadn’t been there in days. Eliot’s irritation with Lexie had basically had me ceding my home turf to her – and that just roiled up my anger anew. I couldn’t understand why Eliot was being so ridiculous.
The truth was, as much as I thought Eliot was overreacting, I also thought there might have been a germ of truth in his statements. I was still tied to Jake. I did still care about him – enough that I didn’t want him to get his feelings hurt. Did I love him, though? I searched my heart for the answer. I kept coming back to the same answer: Eliot was a jerk and Jake blaming me for this situation was completely unfair.
I slammed into the house and found Lexie lounging on the couch watching General Hospital. “Why didn’t you go up to grandpa’s court hearing?” I barked the question in obvious anger and I felt instant regret when the confused – and hurt – look washed over Lexie’s face.
“I didn’t have a ride,” Lexie said. “I don’t have a car, remember?”
I had forgotten. “Well, you could have ridden with Derrick.”
“He left before I found out. I called him. I called you, too.”
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket haughtily. I would have heard my phone if it rang. I realized I had it set to silent and that the screen was showing three missed calls – all from Lexie. “It’s set on silent,” I grumbled, throwing myself onto the couch next to Lexie.
“What crawled up your butt and died?” Lexie asked curiously.
“Eliot.”
“What did he do? Does he want you to kick me out again?”
“When are you finding a place of your own?” I turned to her. If I was going to be spending more time at my own house, then Lexie was going to have to go.
Lexie didn’t look thrilled with the change in conversation topic. “What did Eliot do?”
“He thinks I’m still in love with Jake.”
Lexie tilted her head to the side as she considered the statement. “You love him; you’re not in love with him.”
I pursed my lips at her attempted psychology. “What does that even mean?”
“It means that you love him, like you love me,” Lexie said simply. When she caught sight of the look I was shooting in her direction, she decided to expand. “Well, not exactly like you love me. It’s more of a friendship love.”
“Why do you think that?”
“You guys were together for a long time,” Lexie said. “You have a lot of history. Eliot should be aware of that. It shouldn’t threaten him.”
“He says that I’m worried about hurting Jake’s feelings – and he did have a weird reaction when he found out Eliot and I had spent the night together,” I said.
“Jake isn’t stupid,” Lexie said. “He knows he can’t be with you. You have careers that aren’t compatible – and lifestyles.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that you’re perfectly happy spending a night with your X-Box and a Lego game and he’s got four nights a week of dinners and public appearances,” Lexie explained calmly. “You’re not fit for that lifestyle. Getting dressed up, making small talk with people – that’s just not you.”
She had a point.
“Jake knows that in his head, his heart just might be lagging a little bit,” Lexie continued sympathetically.
“He dates women all the time,” I pointed out.
“He does,” Lexie said. “Jake is happy with the direction his life has taken. Let’s be honest, when we were kids, his life could have gone to the county jail via a different route.”
That was definitely true.
“Jake made a decision to choose the life that he wanted,” Lexie said. “He made that decision at a young age. He’s happy with his decision and, at least for now, he’s set with that decision.”
“And I made a decision on how I wanted to live my life,” I replied knowingly.
Lexie shook her dark head and snorted through her ski-slope nose. “You haven’t decided what kind of life you’re going to live yet.”
“I own a house,” I reminded her. “I’m a reporter.”
“That’s where you live and what you do,” Lexie countered. “That’s not how you want to live your life.”
“What are you babbling about? Is this some spiritual crap from those yoga retreats you keep talking about?” She was starting to bug me.
“You’re not a fully formed adult yet,” Lexie said. “I’m not either. Jake is a fully formed adult earlier than most of us. There’s a reason he’s the youngest sheriff in Macomb County history. He’s just more mature and more driven than us.”
I wasn’t exactly comfortable with her lumping the two of us in the same maturity bunch. “I still don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Jake knows who he is and he knows that you’re not who he should be with,” Lexie said. “That doesn’t mean a part of him doesn’t want that to be different. He’s drawn to you. He’s got a lot of feelings tied up in his past with you. His heart tells him he should be with you even though his head knows that it would never work – at least right now.”
I opened my mouth and Lexie silenced me with a look. “You know that you want Eliot, but a part of your heart is always going to belong to Jake because he was your first love. That’s not wrong. It’s not a slap at Eliot. It’s just human nature.”
“Why don’t you explain that to Eliot,” I grumbled.
“Eliot knows it,” Lexie said. “He’s just worked up right now. He’ll get over it. He’s addicted to you – like a drug.”
“That’s a scary thought.”
“The three of you are just going to have to find a happy medium that you can all coexist in,” Lexie said. “Jake is going to, eventually, find someone that he’s actually suited for. Someone that he can love. Someone that will make him realize that maybe it’s time to let you go. You and Eliot will grow up and get a little more grounded.”
“I guess,” I sighed. “Then Jake will get married and Eliot will calm down.” The thought of Jake getting married – even if it was in some amorphous future -- gave my heart a small twinge.
“Then, when everything is settled between the four of you, that’s when things are going to get interesting,” Lexie said.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, once you’re an actual adult, things are going to be a lot tougher,” Lexie laughed.
“I still don’t know what that means.”
“Once you’re an adult, once you’ve grown up a little bit, then you’re going to realize that you can fit into Jake’s world and that’s when things are going to get difficult,” Lexie said. “You’re going to stop wearing Star Wars shirts everywhere and realize that being an adult isn’t so bad after all.”
“You just said . . .”
“I said you’re not an adult now,” Lexie replied. “I didn’t say you would never be one. I said you weren’t mature enough for Jake now. I didn’t say you never would be.”
“You’re making an awful lot of assumptions,” I said. “And I’m always going to wear Star Wars shirts. How do you know all this?”
“I have the gift,” Lexie cracked a smile. “I can see the future.”
“Are you smoking pot again?”
“No,” Lexie scowled. “I’m just saying that I can see your futu
re. I could always see your future. Jake is always going to be in that future – one way or another.”
“And how do you, oh wise one, see this all shaking out?”
“If I was a Magic Eight Ball I would read: Ask me again later,” Lexie said. “I think your future could go either way, at this point, and both directions will be good for you. You’ll be happy either way.”
“And what does your future hold?” I asked curiously.
Lexie smiled. “I will be rich, famous and have a lot of sex.”
“Good for you,” I laughed.
“Good for me indeed.”
“You’re going to have your own place in this future, right?”
“Just let it go.”
Twenty-Eight
I didn’t sleep well that night. There were no comforting dreams of Captain Kirk and Thor having a flex-off in my subconscious. There weren’t even any uncomfortable nightmares about Jake and Eliot squaring off for my honor. Instead, I woke up every twenty minutes and when I finally climbed out of bed the next morning I was more tired than I had been when I had first slid underneath the covers.
After showering, I decided that I had to talk to Eliot – whether he was ready to listen or not. I left Lexie slumbering on the couch and headed downtown with a purpose. When I got to Mount Clemens, though, the courage that I had been feeling all morning suddenly fled. Instead of storming into Eliot’s store and demanding that he listen to me I opted to trudge into the neighboring coffee shop and build up some caffeine courage first.
When I caught sight of a familiar figure sitting at a window seat perusing a newspaper, though, my morning took a sudden swerve and my rage had a new – or old, depending on your point of view -- target.
“Tad Ludington.”
Tad lifted his face in surprise and then plastered a forced smile on it when he realized a few people had turned in our direction when I had said his name. “Ms. Shaw, so good to see you.”
Oh, he wanted to play it that way, did he?
“I bet,” I replied coldly. I made sure to maintain an even tone while still projecting my voice loud enough for everyone in the small café to hear.
Tad ran his fingers through his greasy black hair which – I swear – was receding at a fantastic rate. It wouldn’t be long before he would have to either go totally bald or start pulling a Donald Trump to cover up the bald spot. Tad sipped from his coffee and fixed me with an overtly friendly smile. It was one of those smiles that screamed oily politician and not genuine person. “Is something bothering you, Ms. Shaw?”
Two could play this game.
“Oh, no, Commissioner Ludington,” I lied smoothly. “I’m just so happy to see you. It’s like a happy coincidence. I was going to call you when I got to the office and set up a time for us to have an interview. I’ve got a lot of questions for you. This saves us both the trouble, doesn’t it?”
Tad looked suddenly uncomfortable with my fake bravado. “I’m really only here for a quick cup of coffee and then I have to be at the county building for a meeting.”
“What time is your meeting?”
“What?” Tad looked confused.
“What time is your meeting?” I repeated the question. Even though there were only six other people in the room I happened to recognize at least half of them. Two of them were gossipy court clerks from the county courthouse – and I knew Tad recognized them, too. He knew, just as well as I did, that our conversation would be broadcast throughout the entire political landscape within the hour. Unlike him, though, I was getting a little charge out of the situation.
“So, are you saying you don’t want to talk to me about the fact that you spearheaded a move to give the sheriff’s department a public relations liaison, even though Macomb County is facing a severe financial shortfall this quarter?”
I figured I might as well go straight for his jugular. He was the reason I hadn’t slept – in a roundabout away – after all.
“The sheriff’s department is a source of tremendous revenue in this county,” Tad replied haughtily. “Are you saying the sheriff doesn’t deserve a little help? He is a public figure that toils for this county, after all.”
“Marvin Potts filed a FOI request for Ms. Brady’s financial information,” I ignored his secretarial pandering. “She’s getting far more than any other public relations figure in the county.”
Marvin had sent me an email with the financial information I had been looking for some time during the night. I was ready to push Tad on the subject of Christine’s pay – and I was actually looking forward to it. I had been planning on phone stalking Tad all afternoon regarding the situation of Christine’s salary. This made things easier.
“I believe, if you look at similar positions in other counties, you will see that Ms. Brady’s pay is on par with them.”
“Wrongo, pongo,” I shot back.
“What?” Tad furrowed his brows.
“Oh, I mean, you’re a filthy liar.”
Tad leaned back in his chair and fixed me with a hard glare. “Are you calling me a liar?”
“That’s what I just said,” I retorted irritably.
“I don’t have to listen to this,” Tad made a big show of getting out of his chair.
“Sit down,” I ordered.
Tad openly glared at me. “Last time I checked, Ms. Shaw, you’re not the boss of me.”
“Well, news flash, I may not be the boss of you but you’re about to be my bitch.” Lack of sleep makes me speak before I think. Okay, genetics makes me do that, but lack of sleep makes me irritable so I’m mean when I stick my foot in my mouth on short sleep days.
Despite himself, Tad looked a little nervous. “Ms. Shaw, if you would like to make an appointment . . .”
“I don’t,” I shook my head. “I want to know why Christine Brady, a woman with no background in public relations, got hired to be the public relations liaison for the Macomb County Sheriff – even though he didn’t request a public relations liaison – and why she’s making more than $70,000 a year.”
Tad blinked several times and fought to make sure that his breathing remained equal. “Like I said, if you check with the other counties . . .”
“Michael Stevens, the Wayne County spokesman, makes $40,000 a year,” I interrupted Tad’s spiel. “Janet Chandler, the Oakland County spokesperson, makes $50,000 a year. They both went to school for public relations and had positions at various media outlets throughout the region over the last twenty years.”
Tad met my gaze evenly. The gloves were off. “Just what are you trying to say?”
“Christine Brady went to school to be a teacher,” I ignored him, but my icy blue eyes never left his rapidly reddening face. “She went to school for two years and then dropped out. Between 2007 and now I can’t find where she’s held any job. I’m not done looking, don’t you worry about that. I have to wonder, though, since she never graduated from any state school and she doesn’t appear to have any public relations experience, how is she tied to you?”
“What makes you think she’s tied to me?” Tad was taken aback.
“You’re the one that hired her,” I countered.
“A hiring the board of the commission all voted and agreed on,” Tad argued.
“Yes, but you’re the one that submitted her name and pushed for her,” I replied.
Tad narrowed his dark eyes in my direction. “Who told you that? The minutes of those workshops are supposed to be private.”
I smiled triumphantly. “You just told me you jackass,” I shot back. “I know you’re up to something and I’m going to find out exactly what it is.” I took a few steps closer to Tad and lowered my voice so only he could hear me. “And, when I do find out what you’re up to, I’m going to bury you so far that you’ll never be able to crawl out.”
Rage colored Tad’s face. “Are you threatening me?”
“No, I’m making a promise.” I straightened back up and took a step back.
Tad was trying to maintain at
least the façade of control, but I knew he was struggling not to jump up from the table and throttle me right there. “Christine Brady is a professional and she’s a tremendous benefit to the sheriff’s department.”
“Christine Brady is a spy that you’ve unleashed on Jake because you’re jealous and you can’t stop yourself from being a tool,” I countered. “You want to somehow exert some control over Jake. I’m guessing you’re going to try and make cuts at the sheriff’s department. And then, when the county executive comes on board and you guys lose half of your board seats, you’re going to run on a platform of cleaning up the graft in the sheriff’s department. All thanks to your $70,000 spy.”
Tad looked shaken by my bold pronouncement. I didn’t have to look behind me to know that the courthouse secretaries were busily texting the gist of our conversation to other people in the courthouse. If I was lucky, the news would beat Tad back to his office.
“That is ridiculous,” Tad sputtered. “I want Macomb County to be the best county it can be.”
“Cut the shit,” I replied. “You’re looking for any angle so you can to hold on to your seat. I’m not an idiot, so do me the respect of not treating me like one.”
“You’re just mad that you’re not the sheriff’s department favorite now,” Tad countered. “You’re used to Jake and your cousin, Derrick, giving you exclusives and making your job easier.”
“Tad, I have no problem doing the work when I want the information,” I laughed. “You wouldn’t believe where I’m focusing my attention right now. I think it’s going to make you downright . . . uncomfortable. I don’t need anyone to help me do my job. You’re just a petty little troll that wants to pretend you have some control over others in this county – including Jake. You don’t have control over anything. You don’t have influence over anything. You’re a county commissioner, for crying out loud,” I plowed on. “You’re not even one of the popular county commissioners.”
“You think I don’t have any power?” Tad was on his feet. He had forgotten that we were performing for an audience – or maybe he was just beyond caring. “I have more power than you will ever have, little girl.”
4 Shot Off The Presses Page 18