by Keary Taylor
“You hear my voice,” he says. “But you’re missing so much else. There’s a lot more to a person than what they say.”
“So you’re saying you’re hiding a lot of secrets?”
“We all have parts of ourselves that we don’t share,” he answers cryptically.
I make a thoughtful sound. I don’t like the idea, that I don’t actually know this person who has direct access to my head very well. That our lunars of conversations haven’t given me a very good picture of what he is truly like.
“Doesn’t seem fair,” I say. “I think you know me pretty well. Maybe that just means I’m really boring.”
“I highly doubt that.”
I finally smile again. “I need to get some sleep,” I say, changing the subject. “I have another boring, routine day early in the morning.”
“And you’re not a morning person,” he teases, proving that I’m right, that he does know me.
I laugh and shake my head, even though he can’t see it. “Nope.”
“Sweet dreams.”
“Good night,” I say, and I let him close the connection. Because once he does, I feel so alone in this tiny house, on a planet with twenty-eight point one billion people on it.
As hard as I tried, my illegal activity dragged in someone besides me. In the end, it’s a big part of what broke us up, but even Zayne on his high horse of worry couldn’t resist the allure of a Neron weapon.
I lunge forward, striking my glowing Neron staff to Zayne’s long rapier. They connect, sending sparks flying into the dim light. The energy arcs and licks the air, sending out the scent of charged oxygen.
Zayne parries, spinning in a circle, swiping low. He tries this move so often it isn’t even difficult to jump, the energy of the blade that really isn’t a blade at all, threatening to melt the soles of my boots.
When I land, I take a step forward, striking with both sides of my double-sided staff. He has to move quick, blocking one shot and then another. I see the sweat break out on his brow and he grits his teeth.
With a smile, I deliver one last power strike, which knocks him back three whole steps. I step back and deactivate my weapon. The Neron arcs disappear, leaving me with only a handle piece with a glowing blue core.
“What?” Zayne protests. “You can’t just deactivate in the middle of a fight.”
“I won,” I say with a smile, though I don’t look back at him and rub it in his face. “Did you want me to actually try to kill you?”
“It wasn’t over!” he yells, taking two steps across the wide, empty space. “You can’t just declare yourself the victor. Besides, what kind of a fair fight is it when you have two Neron ends and I only have one?”
“I made your weapon exactly as you asked,” I say, sliding my double-staff into my bag and zipping it up. I turn to look at him and cross my arms over my chest. “You should have thought about it before you picked something so simple and archaic.”
“Not archaic,” he argues, deactivating the arc and looking at the beautiful handle left in his hand. “Classic.”
I chuckle and shake my head.
“You don’t make anything that could cause any true destruction, do you?” he asks, and the mood instantly turns sober.
My eyes immediately leave his and find anywhere else to look. “No, Zayne. Nothing more than personal weapons.”
He doesn’t say anything, but I know he nods and keeps looking at the floor. “I just want you to be careful. I heard someone talking at the bar last night. Apparently, there’s a rumor that the illegal Neron going around Korpillion isn’t coming from off-planet.”
At that, my eyes snap up. Zayne is looking at me again, and his eyes are pleading with me. He wants me to quit this. To get out of this dangerous, and highly illegal business.
I know it’s not good for me, but if I’m ever going to escape this boring, mundane life of mine, I need credits. A lot of them. Enough for an entirely new start, doing something that doesn’t make me feel like I’m dying a little bit every day.
“They know about the mine?” I ask, anxiety clutching the bottom half of my stomach with a vice grip.
“I don’t know,” he admits with the shake of his head. “But they were all in agreement that if it is coming from Korpillion, it needs to stay quiet. No one wants Dominion getting word.”
My stomach feels sick at the thought. At the possibility of the mega company moving in and laying claim to everything. Of all the lives it would disrupt. Most wouldn’t be able to afford the move off-planet, but Dominion wouldn’t leave them with much of a choice.
“Thanks for the warning,” I say. “I’ll talk to Reena, tell her she needs to be more careful.”
“You too, Nova,” he says. He heads for the door, his bag slung over his shoulder. He pats my own shoulder, lingering just a bit too long, before he heads out.
I run my hands through my hair when the door closes, letting out a slow breath.
Rumors are dangerous. There are too many ears on this planet and the message changes just a little with each whisper. Who knows what the speculations will sound like by the time they fill the city?
As I turn around and look back in my bag, at the weapon lying there, with a glowing blue shard embedded into the handle, I ask myself: Do I start this in hopes that I’ll someday get caught? Do I do it because I’m bored? Do I do it because I want everything—everything—about my life to change?
It’s not something I want to admit to myself. I don’t relish in being a criminal. It’s not like I dreamed about being an arms dealer when I was a little girl.
I found I was good at something. I went into it for profit.
But that doesn’t capture the whole of it.
I pull my staff back out and stare at the glowing blue shard of Neron. Before I think too much about it, I unclasp the small latch and roll the shard out onto my palm.
A wave of electricity washes over my entire body at the contact. I feel the power sink inside me, from the top of my head, down to my smallest toenail. I even feel it in my hair.
There are people in the galaxy who get addicted to Neron. They don’t consume it like the Kinduri, but they crave possessing it. Having it on their person. They relish in the feeling it gives them. In the power they can hold for even just a small span of time.
They can’t stop.
They spend every credit they have on obtaining the illegal Neron.
They’ll waste their entire life away searching for a fix.
I love the way I feel when I hold Neron. I love it.
So I don’t let myself touch it more than once a solar, at best. Because I know myself, and I know with how much I love this feeling, I would become one of those addicts.
But for now, I let my eyes slide closed. I let the Neron rush through me. With the simple contact of my skin, it’s like it bonds with me, becoming one. I’m instantly aware of all the other Neron that surrounds me: in the air, in the walls of this building, far beneath my feet. I feel it in my blood.
Neron is everywhere.
Neron is energy. Neron is life.
I feel good, because the Neron is healing me. Any small bruise, any cracked finger. Any breaks deep inside me, Neron finds them and heals them.
For this moment, when I am holding this Neron, I am ageless. Time has stopped.
Though it’s dark with my eyes closed, movement draws my attention. The air is very still and I realize I’m not breathing.
A shape steps through the shadowy fog. I find broad shoulders. Strong legs. A proud jawline.
I squint in the dark, searching for the face of this person. But it’s dark.
He, I realize it is certainly a male figure, reaches out a hand toward me.
At first I think it’s to ward me off, or maybe to push me away.
But as I once more look for his shadowed face, I think that maybe he’s reaching for me. Inviting me.
A feeling of familiarity tugs inside of me. I slowly extend my hand. I take two steps forward.
>
But, just before our fingertips can touch, the entire universe collapses in on us, and it all ends with an explosion of blue Neron.
I drop the blue shard and take five steps back with a startled yell. I bump into a wall and leave myself there, breathing hard and panicked.
I’ve never actually seen anything when holding Neron. I’ve felt things, felt connected to people’s emotions. But I have never, ever seen anything.
I don’t know what that was, or who that was. But I don’t want this feeling of heaviness and dread looming in my chest ever again.
With the edge of my tunic, I grab the Neron shard, secure it back in the center of my staff, and pack up.
It’s one benefit of being mechanically inclined with a mind for engineering. I found this base level of our cube building a few solars ago. The power system it was operating on had to be over a hundred solars old. After talking with the building manager, I told him I could cut his power costs down to ten times less than what he was paying. If he would pay for the equipment, I could build and install it.
In exchange, he gave me use of the left-over space without question and without ever stepping foot inside.
I would take care of any problems with the system should they arise.
Zayne and I use the space to play with our toys.
Here, I pretend I’m something that I’m not. Here, I pretend that my life has more meaning than it does.
“I confirmed the rumors,” I growl at Reena as she bustles around the shop. “I spent two hours in that bar and overheard two different groups talking about on-planet Neron. You’re not being discreet enough.”
“They have no way of proving that the Neron came from Korpillion,” she says, hardly missing a beat. There are five other workers here in the processing room. We’re a half a kilometer closer to the surface level than the actual mine. Huge, solid crystals of Neron as big as my head line shelves. The workers operate machinery I helped develop to split them into smaller, more discreet and portable-sized crystals, ready for distribution. “All Neron looks the same.”
“You need to take this seriously,” I say, taking a step forward and grabbing her arm, making her stop and look at me. “If Dominion finds out there’s Neron here, I want you to imagine the consequences. Korpillion is the only inhabitable planet in the T, U, and V system that isn’t owned by Dominion. Do you really want the displacement of all those people on your hands?”
Reena finally meets my eyes. She stares at me, and I realize why she unsettles me so much. She’s cold. Her eyes are like ice. I really don’t think she cares about anything.
Except me being on time.
“Dominion sweeps the systems once every fifty solars,” she says. And all the little hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. “Did you know that?”
I didn’t.
“Their technology constantly changes, it gets better and better every solar,” she explains. “Since Dominion was founded, they have swept the entire galaxy approximately eight times. It has been forty-six solars since they last scanned Korpillion.”
Which means our planet has only four more solars until Dominion returns and scans Korpillion with far more advanced technology than last time.
“Dominion discovering our Neron has always been inevitable,” Reena says in a cool, quiet way. “It doesn’t matter if rumors spread to every corner of the planet. This will all be over in four solar’s time, anyway.”
“Why haven’t you told anyone?” I breathe. “They’re going to come and our planet will be gutted. If people knew now, they could prepare. They could move off-planet before things get bad.”
Reena jerks out of my hold and goes back to her work. “Don’t be foolish, Nova. There are twenty-eight point one billion people on this planet. It would take decades to evacuate them all. Not a notable fraction of them could leave before Dominion comes.”
“So you’re just going to let everyone get screwed over?” I demand. “You and about a dozen others know for a fact that there is Neron on this planet. You are one of the only people who could do anything about this, who could make a difference, and you’re not going to do a slam thing?”
She turns on a grinder and the noise of the machine fills the entire space as it pulverizes the Neron into a fine powder. My pulse pounds in my ears as I watch her, being so calm, continuing as though nothing is wrong. Finally, she switches off the machine and scoops the sparkling blue material into a glass vial.
“I plan to make enough money for me and my crew to get as far away from this planet as possible when they come.” She caps off the glass vial and sets it on a shelf with a line of others. “We have four solars to prepare.” Her eyes rise to meet mine. “I suggest you do the same.”
My gut is hollow and full of a million pounds of Neron at the same time. My mouth opens to say something, but I can’t find any words. It closes once more.
My connect-link vibrates and I automatically look down at the screen that lights up on my forearm. It’s a message from my father that dinner is ready; he wonders where I am.
“Imagine the chaos,” Reena says as she moves onto the next task in her shop of crime and magic. “The panic that would happen. The effect on the economy. The entire planet would collapse within weeks. It’s not a perfect world. But it’s better this way.”
And her words make my insides harden. They ignite a fire in the pit of my stomach. I see it in her eyes, her cold, calm eyes. I won’t change her mind. My words won’t make a difference.
“You’re wrong,” I say before turning on my heel and stalking out of the cramped space.
We’re eight terra-levels below ground, so it’s quite a climb up through the twisted service tunnels of the sewer systems to get back to the surface. I feel like I’m suffocating by the time I level out.
I’m drowning. I’m twisted up. I can’t breathe. I’m conflicted.
Dad can tell there’s something wrong as we eat our dinner. I know all of my emotions are rolling off me in waves, and I hardly touch my food. But it’s one of the great things about him—he understands when I’m filled with too much. I let my emotions get the best of me sometimes, and he knows when not to prod so I don’t explode.
So he leaves me alone.
“I’m going out,” I say that night after I’ve cleaned the dishes. “You need the rest, so don’t wait up for me.”
I shrug on a jacket and slip out the door before he can protest or ask me where I’m going.
It’s dark outside, but not really. The sun set about thirty minutes ago, so the sky is black when I look up, other than the moon that sits high in the sky. It looks like it’s neon blue, but only because it’s reflecting back all the artificial light from Korpillion.
There are signs and glowing advertisements everywhere. There are lights turned on in windows, office buildings. In the towering elite buildings, they flash light shows and display different colors illuminating their homes.
It’s dark outside, but so slam bright.
I stuff my hands in my pockets and set down the skywalk. I don’t think about where I’m going, but my feet carry me there automatically.
There’s a service door that looks shut, but isn’t locked. It enters the side of one of the tallest buildings in this sector. I slip inside, closing the door behind me, and begin the climb.
I’ve heard that there are other planets where the residents have obesity problems. Not on Korpillion. When you have to walk anywhere you want to go, when the cities are more vertical than horizontal, you climb a lot of stairs. Our food is engineered to be the perfect balance for survival, and to keep people just healthy enough.
No one is getting fat on this planet; the government makes sure of that.
So I don’t struggle when I climb all these stairs.
Fifteen minutes later, I push open another door. It lets out onto a landing. It isn’t large. To the left, there is the service equipment to keep the upper half of this building cool. There’s a landing just big enough for maybe a chair,
and behind it, there’s a ladder that rises up to the roof of the building.
I could go to the top, but it isn’t as private. There’s access up there to the residents who can afford to live in this building. I don’t feel like getting caught.
I lean against the railing that prevents me from falling ninety-six floors to my death, looking out over the city.
It all looks the same. Tall building after tall building, all reaching for the sky. It’s an endless jungle of concrete and steel. Where there were once roads where people used their personal transport vehicles, the space has been filled with more buildings. We get around using the skywalks that snake their way between the looming towers. Our lives are lived in an endless maze.
It’s kind of beautiful, in a way. People created this. This didn’t just appear here. They had to imagine it, design it, build it. It’s taken centuries.
And the lights, while loud and bright, they’re kind of beautiful against the backdrop of the dark sky and dark concrete.
Sometimes I feel bad about how bored I am with life here.
This is supposed to be the good place.
But that’s all going to come to an end.
“You there?” I ask down the connection.
It’s like I can feel him moving, hear him rustling, and then sliding into a quiet, private room. “I’m here.”
I breathe a sigh of relief at the sound of his voice in my head. “I have to warn you, I’m probably not going to be a very pleasant person tonight.”
“I’m not a very pleasant person most of the time,” he says, and I swear I can hear a little bit of a smile on his face. “What’s wrong?”
I look out over the city, and I can see everything that’s wrong. All these people. Suddenly I feel responsible for all of them. “Have you ever had a secret?” I ask.
“I don’t know a single person who doesn’t have secrets,” he answers. His voice is so calm. There’s this low, deep timbre to it. There’s something about it that’s unique. I’ve never heard a voice that sounds like his.
“Well, have you ever had a secret that would affect billions of people?”