by Lindsey Hart
“God…”
“He’s not an easy man to live with, but somehow you make it work. You’re a team, you and Dallas. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why. I could see it though, in your eyes, in your voice, in how you cared for him and wouldn’t ever let anyone ever say a bad word about him, that you love him. We all know, all of us who are permanent fixtures for the company.
“Why? He sounds… awful. He’s not even here.” Leena swallowed hard past the rising lump in her throat. That stabbing sensation in her chest, right where her heart was, kept getting worse. “Let me guess. That’s because he doesn’t love me.” I’m pathetic. It was a shitty realization; that she was in love with a man who didn’t care about her. How very tragic, which was probably a damn cliché given that she was apparently involved in theatre.
“Well… honey- none of us know what Dallas actually thinks. We hardly ever see him. He’s like a dark figure stalking around or a black cloud hovering over everything. Dark because that’s his mood. We all do our best to steer clear on the odd occasion he should grace us with his presence.”
“And he doesn’t even care enough to come here? You said I was hit by a car. Most friends that I know would come and see how their friend was doing if something like this happened.” She paused for a second to consider how she knew that. It was just there, a fact that she knew, even though she couldn’t remember any of her friend’s faces or names.
“He knows. I know that he knows because I knocked on the door of his studio and told him. I know he heard me. He- well- he doesn’t leave the theatre, I don’t think. You do everything for him. I do the bank runs, the accountants do the books. We have people for everything, but you do all the rest. I know you do. You’ve never said so, but I know.”
“So, in many ways, you’re like my mom.” Leena paused to consider that. “You said that you’re my emergency contact. Where are they? My parents? Do I even have parents? Why can’t I remember?”
Minnie rose and gripped Leena’s hand, the one without the IV in it. The older woman squeezed her fingers hard. “I’m not sure of that either. I wish I had more answers for you. I’m sorry, I came because I hoped somehow I could make you feel better, but I’ve just made things worse.”
Leena took a deep, steadying breath. “No,” she assured Minnie. She knew by the sincere look on her face, that she was a good friend. She wondered how many years they’d known each other and what secrets Minnie knew about her that she herself no longer even knew. “No, I do feel better having you here. No one has been to visit me. At least, not that I recall. It’s really lonely in here. I want to go home, whatever that means, but I’m not sure when I’ll be released.”
“Just keep telling them that you want to go, and they’ll probably let you. I’ll come and vouch for you. I’ll promise to keep you safe. You have a beautiful home. You and Dallas converted an old brick warehouse into a theatre. The living quarters are on the second and third floors.”
“My parents… can you find out what happened to them or where they are and let me know? I should call them if the hospital hasn’t already. They’re probably so worried.”
Minnie’s throat bobbed, and the sound of her swallow was audible in the room. “I think, but I could be wrong, that you haven’t spoken to your parents in years. You said something once, around Christmas time, about Dallas not being welcome, so you weren’t going either. That was a long time ago, three years probably.”
“How old am I?” It was an embarrassing question to have to ask but given that she was in a hospital bed clad in an ugly blue gown, covered in bruises, her hair probably matted, she shouldn’t actually care.
“You’re going to be thirty in a couple months, honey.”
“I don’t even know how old I am,” Leena moaned. “I guess they’ve been medicating me pretty heavily. I hope so. Maybe I can blame it all on that.” She didn’t know how she knew what a hospital was or a doctor or medication. Those words were just there, followed by a mental image. Just like she knew that the thing in her wrist was an IV. She couldn’t remember if she’d ever had one though or why she didn’t like it or other needles. That was the most frustrating part. There was an association with a word, but no memory attached. Like a chair was a chair, but she couldn’t remember ever sitting in one or if she had one at home or a favorite style.
“I know. I’ve been here five times already. This is the sixth time and it’s the first time I’ve been allowed in and allowed to stay.”
Not ready to have Minnie leave, desperate to fill in the gaps in her mind, Leena blurted the first thing that came to mind. “How old is Dallas? What is it my parents didn’t like about him?” Leena suddenly had the feeling she didn’t truly want to know the answer.
Minnie shrugged, a little too quickly. “I don’t know that either. I would guess he’s far older than you though. Probably fifteen years at least.”
“Oh my god. Why would I marry a man like that? He sounds awful.” She knew deep inside, even as she said the words, that they weren’t true. She couldn’t bring herself to feel that way about him, even though she’d just heard what was basically the worst. She could tell that Minnie loved her, but that she didn’t care much for Dallas.
“I don’t know, sweetheart. I guess we all have our redeeming qualities. Like I said, it’s not easy for you to hear, but we all thought that the marriage was just kind of a business partnership. Some marriages are. Dallas was pretty damn famous as a recluse even, or at least his music was. He was writing and composing and selling it all over the world. He was basically a shut-in though and it’s my guess that you were taking care of him for a long time before you ever got married. We never really questioned why you were married. I guess everyone just assumed it worked about as well as it could. I never talked about that with you. It wasn’t my place. I think you’re an amazing woman though, Leena. You have the patience of ten saints. You’re beautiful, smart, witty, compassionate, talented. You’re a one-man army when you want to be.”
Leena swallowed hard, oddly choked up. “Thanks. It’s strange hearing about myself second hand. I guess I hope you’re not exaggerating or trying to flatter me.”
“Not at all.”
“Will you do me a favor? You can say no if you want.”
“Of course.” Minnie glanced at the huge white clock on the other side of the wall. The hands read just past seven at night. “But you better ask me fast. I have a feeling we’re just about of time and I’m going to be given the boot any second.”
“I just want a sketch. Can you do that, ask around? Try and figure out a timeline for me? I know it’s not going to be easy and people probably don’t know, but I need to try and figure out what I can. I need to try and remember, or at least, piece things together.”
“I’ll do one better than that. I’ll get you out of here. Don’t worry, before long, you’ll be back home where you belong. Maybe then it will be easier for you to remember.”
“And if I never do? What’s going to happen to the theatre?” She swallowed hard. “What’s going to happen to Dallas?”
Minnie shifted, clearly uncomfortable. “I’ll write down everything I can. I’ll have it ready by tomorrow evening for you to read. Maybe that will help. As for what you did… you were everywhere, all the time. You’re like a superhuman or something. We all wondered how one person could have that much energy. If you think Dallas is gifted, hell, people should get a load of you. Do me one quick favor. Try and sing something. Anything.”
Leena opened her mouth, but no sound came out. “I can’t,” she finally admitted. She hung her head, close to tears. She didn’t want to cry, not on top of everything else.
“That’s alright. Don’t worry. I know you haven’t lost it. A gift like yours, that’s from deep down inside of you.”
“It’s from Dallas,” she said, shocking both of them. Minnie’s hand flew to her chest and Leena leaned backed in the bed, against the pillows bolstering her back. “I don’t know why I just said that. I can
’t remember anything, but I just know that’s true.”
Minnie just nodded. “Get some rest, honey. I promise I’ll be here tomorrow night. And the next night and the next and as long as it takes to bring you home.”
“Thank you.”
Minnie bent and gave Leena a quick hug. She felt safe and warm wrapped in the older woman’s arms. Nothing made sense, but that hug- it felt so right.
After Minnie was gone, the room was far too silent. The hum of machines and beeps from down the hall, the soft scuffle of footsteps and quiet voices drifted into the room.
“Home…” Leena whispered into the stillness. She shut her eyes. If only she knew what that actually meant.
CHAPTER 4
Dallas
Ever since the accident, music hadn’t left him. It wasn’t kind, like it sometimes was. It wasn’t light or beauty. It was dark and haunting. He’d buried himself alive in the landslide of his mind. Leena had been in the hospital for six days.
He’d tried to go. On the first day, when Minnie had come to him, frantic. She’d offered to take him. He’d even got so far as to shower and put on a fresh set of clothes. He made sure he’d look… at least presentable to the outside world.
His hand had been on the door handle when he panicked. His lungs imploded, his body rebelled. He’d barely dragged himself back to the bathroom before he started retching. The world disappeared, and everything was black. It had been hours later that he’d finally come back to reality. Though he knew he was ill and certainly dehydrated, he’d forced himself to the piano. It was his island in the storm. His hands brought his body solace but the storm in his mind was just starting.
Dallas paused, fingers aching, hands cramped. His back screamed when he shifted an inch on the bench. His legs had long ago gone numb. They burned unmercifully when he tried to stretch them. He blinked eyes that were bloodshot and grainy. He tried to wet his lips, which were dry and cracked, but his tongue felt glued to the roof of his mouth.
He sensed, more than he’d heard, that someone was in the room with him. His sore eyes turned towards the door. He could make out a slim, blurry shape. Minnie. He tried to make a sound, to grind out words, but nothing came. When he tried to shove back the piano bench and stand, he nearly fell over. He had to grip the keyboard for support.
Minnie’s eyes swept over the dark room uneasily. He didn’t need light. He was perfectly at home in the darkness. God knew he lived in it inside his mind most of the time. The light seeping into the room from behind the closed shades at the windows told him that it wasn’t night, but he had no idea what time or even what day it was.
“Dallas,” Minnie said slowly. She was clearly uncomfortable, though she’d been in the room before. It had never been just them. Leena was always there. She was the barrier between Dallas and everyone else. She was the barrier between him and the world.
He’d taken her for granted for so very long. “How is she?” he croaked, voice barely recognizable as it squeezed past vocal chords which felt rusty with disuse.
“She’s coming home tomorrow. I’ve been doing my best to work on a project that she asked me for. Like I told you that first day, she has almost no memory. She hit her head hard in the fall. The doctors are hopeful it will come back, they just don’t know when. She’s asked me for a timeline so she can try and piece together her life. She’s asked me for details, for pictures. She wants so badly to understand…”
Dallas ran a hand through knotted, greasy hair. His finger snagged, and he nearly gasped at the explosion of pain in his skull as the knot gave way under the force of his movement.
“I can’t go. I’m sorry.” It was the first time he could remember apologizing to anyone in a very long time.
“I’m not asking you to go.” Minnie swallowed hard. Her hands clasped in front of her waist. She was wearing a black dress and matching Mary Janes. On her, it looked nothing short of professional. She was glaringly perfect, not a wrinkle in her clothing or a hair out of place on her head. It almost hurt Dallas to look at her. “She’s not going to be prepared when she comes back here tomorrow. I’ve done the best I can to fill in gaps for her, but this is going to be a shock.”
“I’m going to be a shock.” His voice was so gravelly it was a wonder Minnie understood anything he was saying.
She blinked and took another small step into the room. She was still a good forty odd feet away, only two or three from the door, as though she wanted to flee instead of stand there trying to talk to him. As if he was some monster locked away in the dungeon of his room and if she entered he might breathe fire at her.
“I don’t have anything for you,” Dallas sighed. He turned away because he couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in Minnie’s eyes. “She never talked to me about her family.”
“How many years ago did you meet her?”
Dallas didn’t have to do a calculation. The number was there. It was easy to remember, because Hannah had been there. He’d started teaching her when she was fifteen.
“Fifteen.” The word reverberated around the room.
“Fifteen?” Minnie repeated, shocked.
Dallas was glad he wasn’t looking at her. “Yes. Fifteen. I was teaching her best friend. She was just… there. Her friend died when she was twenty. Leena didn’t stop coming. She- she kept me sane. A year later she- she wrote something for me. She sang. It was the first time I realized that she had a gift. She had this idea about a theatre. It took two years to get the plans together. She needed access to my accounts. I couldn’t be bothered. I married her because I thought it was the easiest way. She understood what it was, the marriage. It was an agreement. I got- I got what I wanted and so did she. She wanted to be on stage. She wanted to use her voice to move people. Two years later the renovations were done. We moved in. You know the rest, you were hired soon after.”
“I’ve been here for four years. I know Leena is thirty. I just didn’t realize…”
“What? That she knew me so young? That she ruined her life with someone like me?”
“I’m not judging you, Dallas.” Minnie’s voice was patient and controlled. “In a way, you’re my boss. I won’t pretend to understand how you live your life, but I also won’t pretend to have any idea what you’re going through. What Leena did with her life is her own business. She seemed happy enough, before the accident. I’m just here now because she’s confused and afraid. She’s coming back here, back to her home, with no prior experience or feelings or memory.”
“So please, be kind to her? Keep away from her? What is it you want me to do?”
“That’s for you to decide,” Minnie said gently. “I know you’ve been kind to her, in your way, or she would never have stayed. I know there is something about you that- well, that she thinks is incredible. It’s more than just your talent. The impression I got before was that…”
“What?” Dallas spun. He regretted the motion immediately, considering how it sent shards or light ripping through his foggy, exhausted brain.
“Nothing,” Minnie shook her head. “I’ll leave you alone now. I just- just hoped that you’d be ready to welcome her home tomorrow. She’s getting out at noon.”
He nodded. With one hand he reached out to steady himself against the piano. He needed to sleep. His exhausted body cried out in relief. He wished Minnie would just leave so he could drag himself to bed.
A memory, no, countless memories, of Leena taking his arm, guiding him away from the piano, tucking him into bed, bringing him food, even helping him into the shower, shaving him and brushing his hair when he couldn’t, flashed through his mind. It was like a video with images he couldn’t block out. He was ashamed of them, of himself, but most of all, he wished Leena was there, her gentle touch soothing his aching body, her kind words and sweet patience bringing him back from the precipice that always loomed so large inside of him.
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” Dallas ground out. “That’s what you want me to say isn’t it?”
Minnie’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t want you to say anything. Just clean yourself up. Or don’t. I’m sure she’ll see it sooner or later. Just try being nice for a change. Try thinking of someone other than yourself, if you can manage.” She didn’t wait for a response. Minnie turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Dallas was left, once again, in silence. He closed his eyes, willing himself to have the strength to make it to his room, to his bed, to find the healing power of sleep. He couldn’t make it. He felt the darkness closing in, the darkness of oblivion. He surrendered, falling right there, beside the piano, down, down to the cool hardwood floor. His eyes closed and behind them, he saw Leena’s face, beautiful in a way he’d never truly noticed before. It was her eyes, those eyes so filled with emotion and secrets that haunted him right before he surrendered to the abyss of healing rest.
CHAPTER 5
Leena
The world had gone from being one she was once at home in, to a confusing, cold, stark one at the hospital, to a mysterious world in which she felt like a stranger, desperately out of place.
After being released from the hospital, Minnie patiently drove them back to the theatre. It was just as she described, a large, three-story brick warehouse. The bottom displayed bright posters in the windows and even had a huge neon sign on the front, just like in the movies, which she wasn’t sure how she remembered, advertising their upcoming production.
The theatre was marvelous on the inside. Everything was new and fresh, reds and blacks. The actual theatre was huge, with three rows of seats that extended from the back all the way towards the stage. The stage was glorious with red velvet curtains peeled back to the side of a stage that was worthy of staring at for days. There were lights and boxes and red velvet carpet in the aisles. It looked like something classy enough to be straight out of the forties or fifties.