He shook his head, too keyed up to eat.
Hell, he’d rather be just about anywhere with Lexie than in the same space as her boss—even if the venue was larger than a tennis court and a hundred other guests served as buffers. But how could he ask Lexie to leave after she’d worked so hard, anyway? She’d earned an evening of celebration.
Wiping his brow, he stepped away from the bar and headed toward the far end of the rooftop solarium.
Center of attention at the party appeared to be Lexie’s boss, lounging in the shallow end of the recessed pool and sipping a glass of white wine, while hard bodies clamored for her attention. The woman seemed perfectly content with her selection of admirers. Maybe she hadn’t been asking for more than his expert care when she insisted he assess her post-race condition, and she could’ve really had a nasty cramp in her glute that required him to massage it.
Whatever. He wasn’t at the charity event for her.
Moving through the crowd, he scanned the room for the woman who had captivated him the past month.
The woman he wanted.
And then he saw her.
Seated at one of the linen-covered tables that helped form the perimeter of the small dance floor, she fiddled with the stem of her margarita glass.
“Hey,” he called out when he was close enough for her to hear him over the music. It was his usual greeting, but for some reason, it suddenly felt inadequate.
She lifted her gaze to his, her smile soft. “Hi.”
‘When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.’
What was with the Shakespeare quote? He blinked, his heart pounding as his head raced to catch up.
“You look warm. Want to go in the water for a bit and cool off?” She glanced toward the pool, but didn’t budge.
He plucked at his golf shirt. “Nah.” I love her?
“You sure?” she teased. “I wore my new swimsuit under this dress.” She placed her hand on his knee and squeezed. “I was just thinking, this is my first two-piece since I was twelve. Cool, huh? And it’s thanks to you, for helping me get my butt in gear.”
Drinking in her radiant smile and rosy cheeks, he found his gaze skimming over the swell of her generous breasts, the black bikini top visible under her white cover-up. All he had to do was slip that dress over her head and pull one of the strings on her bikini top, and show her all he couldn’t say.
Why can’t you say it? Why are you the one holding back now?
“I’m thankful every day you walked into my gym.”
How pathetic. The greatest epiphany in your life and that’s how you tell her?
She leaned closer. “You made it fun.”
“Want to leave?”
“Can’t wait, huh?” She giggled, reaching under the tablecloth with eager fingers, searching playfully. “That’s so sweet, but let’s enjoy the party first. Everyone’s raving about the course selections.”
When her fingers hit pay dirt, Matthew sucked in a breath and caught her hand, pinning her eyes with his. “I’ll play, but not here.” He ran his hand along her arm under the table. “We can get a five-course meal any day, my treat. How about we celebrate your first 5K in private?”
She leaned back. “Seriously?”
He nodded, his jaw set. “There’s something I’ve got to tell you.”
“But—”
He stood. “And it can’t wait any longer. I know that now.”
“Ah, there you are, Mattie.” His godfather approached, his youngest in tow. “I normally would leave you to your friends, but I need you to keep an eye on my baby for a few minutes. His mother disappeared into the powder room, and I have business that can’t wait.”
The baby rolled his eyes at his father because he was eight, but compared to Neil’s children by his first wife—all grown and married—Nicky was by far the youngest.
Matthew bit back his impatience mixed with a good dose of worry and pulled out the empty chair next to him. “Sure. Always happy to help out.”
With that, Uncle Neil sped off, leaving him to entertain Nicky if the electronic device in the kid’s hands didn’t suffice. His ruffled the boy’s hair, pleased to see him in spite of his godfather’s shitty timing. “So, how’s it going? Enjoying second grade?”
The boy nodded, his eyes wide as he stared at Lexie.
“It’s not polite to stare.” He reminded his godson, looking out for him as Neil had him.
“Is she your girlfriend?” Nicky giggled and covered his mouth.
I might want her to be more. He whispered, “Yes.”
“I wanted to go swimming, but Mom said not today.”
Matthew glanced at the pool.
Sylvia Swann had stepped out of the water and was headed toward the little cabanas on the far side. “Looks like everyone’s getting out now anyway. You have that huge slide at your house, too. This one’s boring.”
“I guess.” Nicky pulled out his iPad.
Sweat beaded on his forehead, and his stomach fell. He deserved whatever he had coming his way, but Lexie would be blindsided if Swann started talking. “Want a soda?”
“Dad said no more till dinner.”
Matthew shifted in his chair. Seemed the only fault with Neil and Jackie’s parenting was the impact it would have on his relationship when Sylvia spied him with her assistant.
“Hey, chica. Matthew.” Isabella and two bubbly women like her joined the table. “Who’s the little cutie?”
While Lexie introduced the women to his godson, he tracked Sylvia in her slinky silver dress runway-walking her way around the pool and through the maze of tables. His mouth went dry. “Well, the little dude and I will head over to my table so you ladies can enjoy some girl bonding.”
Lexie stared at him like he’d lost his mind.
Yup. She’s got a point. You are certifiable.
Because only an optimistic fool like him would attend the same function as his girlfriend and the woman privy to his alter-ego identity.
Isabella piped in. “Don’t be silly. Shari went home after the 5K. Take her seat.”
He shrugged, glancing sideways, his stomach now loaded with twenty-five pound weights. Swann was five tables away and getting closer. It was only a matter of seconds before she saw him next to her assistant.
We’ve got to get out of here.
“What’s taking your father so long?” Matthew wondered aloud.
Nick looked up from his game and pointed. “There he is, talking.”
“Please don’t point,” he reminded the child, striving to sound calm, in spite of his gut twisting painfully at the fallout about to ensue if he didn’t act, and act fast.
“Sorry, Uncle Mattie.”
Lexie was fiddling with her napkin, tiny creases on her forehead.
Fuck. Where was Chris when he needed him? He lowered the brim on his baseball cap and pretended interest in his godchild’s video game.
“Thanks for hanging out with him,” Neil said when he finally returned, effectively relieving him of childcare duty.
Yes. He’d hand off Nicky, then he and Lexie could vanish.
“No problem.” He had plenty of bigger ones, like Sylvia Swann seated directly behind them, and being forced to explain why he not only lied, but then covered it up, tricking Lexie into thinking he was someone better than he was. Someone worthy of her.
I love her.
“Oh, Mr. Jacobs, sorry to interrupt.” Sylvia popped out of her chair to extend her hand to Neil. “But I wanted to take a moment to thank you for this lovely event.”
“Good to see you, Sylvia. Thanks for coming out to support the foundation.” Neil smiled. “And, nice work on the Henderson project.”
“Thank you, sir,” she crooned, her eyes sweeping the table. “Hope you all—”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Have a nice one,” she finished, her voice softer and less certain than before.
Matthew stared at the centerpiece, his eyes filled with sand, his arms limp by his side.
<
br /> Look at the mess you made. You deluded yourself into thinking you were being generous, but you didn’t do this for Lexie or anyone else. Ultimately, you did it for yourself. You’re no better than all the players you despise.
“Today’s been a huge success because of all of you employees and your efforts in this fundraiser. So eat, drink, and have a memorable evening.” Neil smiled at the guests within earshot then turned to his son. “Say good-bye to your godfather.”
“Bye, Uncle Mattie.” Nicky cuddled into his arms.
“See you soon.” He hugged him close then ruffled the boy’s mop of hair. He swallowed. “Be good.” Don’t screw with other people’s lives like I have.
“Promise.” Nicky’s eyes lit. “Will you come to our big party again this year? I can show you how good I swim.”
“Can’t wait. Your family’s Memorial Day barbeques are the best.” And I promise to do better. I’ll make it up to her. I’ll always put her first.
“Bring your girlfriend.” Nicky pointed, giggling.
Matthew swallowed the lump in his throat. “Okay, bud. I’ll see what I can do.”
The table fell silent as Nicky and Neil walked away.
Lexie fiddle with her silverware. “You’re related to Mr. Jacobs?”
“Not exactly.”
Isabella leaned forward, her bracelets jangling. “Look at you, Mr. Big Shot. That must’ve been the best kept secret at J&C.”
“What exactly do you mean by ‘not exactly’?” Lexie asked, hurt creeping into her voice.
Matthew scrubbed his jaw. He’d made up his mind to tell her tonight, but not with her coworkers hanging on every word. “I’ll explain.”
Her chin jutted out. “Please do.”
He stood and smiled at the trio of young women watching the unfolding events like they thought it was an episode of the Kardashians. “If you’ll excuse us, ladies.” He smiled at Isabella. “Enjoy the sunset.” Then he turned to the still, quiet woman beside him and whispered, “I should’ve done this long before now. Let’s go, baby. No holds barred.”
Lexie blinked a few times then set her napkin on the table carefully and stood next to him, her shaking hands the only sign she’d been thrown by Neil and Nicky’s appearance. “Yes.” She smoothed her dress and plastered on a huge grin for their audience. “Great run today.” She leaned down to hug Isabella. “Have a super night.” Moving next to him, she laughed. “I know I will.”
But the radiant smile she threw her friends didn’t reach her eyes, and he knew all too well that humor was her way of coping. Her guard was up. Matthew swallowed, and grabbed her hand before her bravado slipped. She’d worked so hard to fit in at the firm, and because of him, she was at risk of becoming Monday’s J&C trending topic.
Because of me.
His stomach clenched. He’d promised to protect her, to keep her safe, and never hurt her.
I swear I’ll make it right.
The Jeep could stay overnight at the garage since he’d been drinking, and he’d tell her about his relationship to the company CEO first, then work his way through the harder stuff once they were alone.
They were halfway through the maze of tables, surrounded by guests waiting on their first course, when Lexie tugged on his hand.
“Why is Ms. Swann yelling our names?”
The hair prickled on the back of his neck, and he turned to her, his heart in his throat, as he looked down at their clasped hands.
Damn. He’d forgotten to keep his hands off her until they were out of sight. They’d been so close.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lexie stared up at the man she’d willingly let into her world, her mind whirling with questions. Why had he dropped her hand like he was ashamed to be caught holding it? And why was Ms. Swann stroking his arm like they knew each other far better than he’d let on, as the woman prattled on about his hands working their magic and how she wanted to reschedule.
Reschedule what? A training session? “I thought you had a trainer.” She clenched her hands so she wouldn’t rip Ms. Swann’s hand off her boyfriend. “Why would you need—?” Wait. She whirled toward him. “Since when do you work mornings?”
But Matthew didn’t answer, lifelike yet so still. “What’re you doing?” she demanded. “Impersonating one of those wax figures we saw last week at Madame Toussand’s?”
A vein pulsed at Ms. Swann’s temple. “What’s going on here? Why didn’t you tell me you knew him?”
“Why would I tell you?” She didn’t know where to look.
A funny noise sounded in the back of Ms. Swann’s throat. “I’m a little surprised, Alexandra.” She smoothed her dress. “You didn’t strike me as the kind of person to do such a thing.”
“What are you talking about?” Lexie wrung her hands. Should they get help? Was Ms. Swann ill?
“She didn’t do anything.” Matthew wrapped a comforting arm around her. “I did.”
Lexie stiffened in his embrace.
Can someone tell me what’s going on here?
“So you two are together.” Ms. Swann’s voice was brittle.
“Yes,” he answered without hesitation.
But why does he sound so sad? We haven’t done anything wrong.
She turned in his arms, shutting out her boss. “I don’t understand why our relationship would be any of her business. There’s no company policy against trainers dating clients. I mean, I know you didn’t want any PDA, but I thought—” She stepped back and rubbed her arms. “Did you two date?”
“He’s your trainer?” Ms. Swann’s voice was soft.
Lexie’s head pounded. “He was.”
“I see.”
Good for her. Meanwhile I need a freaking map.
“No, never dated.” Ms. Swann backed away. “You’re right, it’s none of my concern. Have a great night.” She shot Matthew a pointed look, then walked away.
Lexie folded her arms, struggling to think straight. “What the hell was all that about? She’s saying one thing, but if looks could kill, you’d be six feet under.” A flush spread through her body, alarm bells ringing. “What are you hiding?”
“C’mon,” he whispered, and he held out his hand.
What am I missing?
She stared at him. He hadn’t been surprised by Ms. Swann. In fact, he’d been oddly quiet, as if he’d expected her attack and took it in stride. Ms. Swann had been angry with her at first, too, as if she’d knowingly hooked up with a guy her boss had been interested in, but the only guy she had ever told her about was…
Lexie hissed, the breath escaping her and leaving her insides cold and brittle.
All those clues she’d seen but refused to believe.
“Are you Steel?”
He turned for the exit.
“Don’t you walk away from me.” She squeezed her hands into fists. Even the pain of her nails digging into the flesh of her palms couldn’t compare to the anger growing inside her.
He stopped and slowly turned toward her, his face set in stone. “Not here.”
Tell me I wasn’t wrong to trust you. She yearned to see the man she adored, but the man in front of her was a stranger. Matthew wouldn’t drop her hand or be sad about their relationship. Matthew didn’t keep secrets from her. Or did he? “I asked you a question, and I want an honest answer. If that’s not too much to ask,” she demanded, her voice louder than she’d intended.
Matthew shoved his hands in his board shorts. “It’s not what you think. I’ll tell you everything, but not here.”
She snorted. “Coward.”
“You’ve got that right. I’ll be at the bar.” Shoulders hunched, he turned away.
This time she didn’t try to stop him.
He’s Steel.
The look on his face had said it all. He knew Ms. Swann. The two had met at the gym back in March and they’d exchanged numbers. The ass-hat had wanted her boss first, but they hadn’t been able to coordinate their schedules. Lightheaded, she dragged in air. Matthew wa
s the trainer who had sent flirty texts to Ms. Swann. He’d wanted to be with the glamorous professional, but when that didn’t work out, he’d settled for her everyday assistant.
Me.
Lifting her chin, she brushed away unwelcome tears and strode after him. She might’ve served as the convenient understudy in Matthew Hennessey’s seduction game, but she’d mastered the role of leading lady. She would listen to every detail and then throw his lying frog ass back into the pond from where he’d hopped.
He stood at the far end of the bar near the elevator, his sad eyes tracking her as she approached.
She stopped a safe distance away.
“Thank you,” he breathed. “We need to talk.”
“Then talk,” she said, and turned away to climb onto a barstool. If she left the building with him, she’d be tempted to forgive him. As it was, as soon as she’d entered the room and saw him, the fractured shards of her heart had started to melt for him all over again. How could that be?
He pulled out the stool next to hers. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s a start,” she muttered. “But I seem to recall you saying that to my boss less than a minute ago.” She pinched her lips together to keep them from trembling.
“I don’t want her. I love you.”
Why was he torturing her this way? Walk away. “I’ve dreamt about you saying those words to me.” She played with the coaster on the bar, rather than risk a look in his direction. “But in all those scenarios I imagined, not one involved you professing your love as part of a last-ditch apology to convince me to stay.”
He cursed under his breath. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have told you that yet, and not that way.” He sucked in a breath. “Okay, first things first. When I learned you were the one texting me, I thought it would be nice for you to experience romance.”
She rolled her eyes.
He held up a palm. “I know it was wrong. I’ve wondered a thousand times over why I was so impulsive. I wanted to get to know you, and it seemed like the only way to connect. Chris told me it was a stupid idea, but I’d already gone full in, so I figured I had to keep on going.”
“Yeah, you don’t quit easily,” she acknowledged. “You teach Brit Lit at Manhattan U. What about Chris? He’s really a professor?”
Text Me, Maybe Page 15