by JLee Meyer
Stung just a bit, Kate studied her. “I think I could say the same about you.”
Smiling into her lap, Mimi said, “Now, you were looking for Dasher. Surely you have her cell number. What happened that you need her?”
Kate sighed. “I guess I just wanted someone to talk to. Dasher and I have agreed to be friends, and I needed a friend.” She felt so pathetic.
“Agreed? Dasher is a good and true friend, if that’s all you want. Why don’t you try me out? I’ve never had many friends, either.”
At that moment an understanding passed between them.
“Well, it’s not much. Just agent problems. He thinks I’m only good for a paycheck and I want to actually act. Maybe I’m making it all up. Maybe he’s right.”
Suddenly quite serious, Mimi said, “Dasher believes you’re a wonderful actor, and she knows a few things about talent. I happen to think you’re wasted in those films, too. People are drawn to your beauty, yes, but there’s more to you and they sense it.”
“She does? You do?”
Her brown eyes held conviction when she said, “Yes. Dash and I agree on that subject.”
“That really means a lot to me. Thank you.” These two women were definitely not just complimenting her to get something from her. Or, if they were, she had no idea what it would be.
Lupe appeared at the door with several bags of food. They enjoyed the chalupas while discussing the joys of not eating in a hospital cafeteria more often than necessary.
As Lupe was cleaning up, Kate stood to excuse herself.
Mimi asked, “Where are you off to now, Kate?”
“Well, Joe saddled me with six scripts to go through. I’m going to my house to read them.”
“You know, Lupe’s desperate to clean my condominium for when I go home. Would you mind staying here to read them? We have at least one semi-comfortable chair you could use. I get nervous with strangers.”
For the first time Kate saw for herself the fear that Dasher had described. How crippling to be so shy. She also felt honored to be included in the not-a-stranger category. She felt at ease with Mimi, too. So here she was again, doing something that wasn’t her habit at all.
Kate glanced at Lupe and was met with a hopeful smile. “I don’t see why not. I’ll go get the manuscripts. But only if you’ll read some of them, too, and tell me what you think. That could cut the time down by a lot.”
“Wonderful. Dasher always has me read scripts for her. She says I can pick ’em.”
Kate was delighted. Dasher’s clients raved about her help in finding vehicles for them that challenged their skills. To have Mimi’s advice would be a plus. The fact that Dasher would be there later, well, that was an added bonus.
After two hours passed they traded stacks. Kate asked, “Did you find one you liked?”
Mimi shook her head. “How many times can you make the same movie, Kate?”
Throwing her new stack onto the chair, she took the ones she’d just given to Mimi to toss on top. “That bastard. The truth is he’d rather substitute one of his cardboard blondes with fake everything. I’d bet their true talent is giving blow—er, sorry.”
“Blow jobs? I may not like Hollywood, but I’ve certainly been around for a while. I agree with you. Can’t you dump him and sign with Dasher?”
“Don’t think I haven’t thought about it. When I signed with him I was so young and stupid, he got me into a straightjacket of a contract. I don’t think I could ever get out without him agreeing to release me. Besides, Dasher has never tried to poach, as Joe would so nicely put it. I doubt she’s even interested.”
Mimi was staring at the doorway. “Why don’t you ask her?”
Kate whirled to see Dasher, a stunned look on her face, eyes dancing between the two of them.
“Mom? Kate?”
*
Dasher was still in shock when Kate left an hour later, promising to return the next day so Lupe could have a break. Kate and her mother had chatted away like old friends. She’d never seen her mother become so friendly so quickly with another person.
“Dasher? You seem in another world. Is it Kate? She’s lovely.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my mother?”
Chuckling, Mimi said, “I guess I asked for that one. I don’t know, but there’s something about her I can’t help but like. Maybe it’s just the right circumstances. I suppose I don’t have anything to be afraid of anymore. Or maybe it really is Kate. Are you sure you can’t date her? I’d feel much better about leaving this earth if I knew you had someone.”
“It’s complicated.” Dasher studied her new PDA. She’d just bought it and was planning to set it up during her time with her mother. They usually didn’t talk much, but that seemed to have changed. Kate had groused because her mother was always trying to fix her up. Now Dasher’s mother was taking an interest. Was this a “mom” thing?
“Her agent sounds awful. What do you think of him?”
“He’s lower than pond scum, and I’d rather have Kate with almost anyone but him.”
“So, you’d like to have her as a client, then.”
“You could say that.” Dasher was trying to be vague but evidently failing.
“I knew it. You’re in love with her.”
Reaching the point of exasperation, Dasher said, “Mom! This isn’t…I can’t… Kate and I are friends. She’s straight and I’m not. See the difference there?”
Looking perplexed, Mimi countered. “What I see, young lady, is a lonely woman who gets by on bravado and beauty and needs a friend. I never had her bravado, but for a while there I was sought after, and I understand her need. I’ve also seen the way she looks at you. Dash, have you ever been in love?”
The suddenly feisty Mimi Pate looked determined to get an answer. The truth popped out of Dasher’s mouth without her permission. “Yes, five years ago.”
After a moment, Mimi said, “I remember. You were so excited about signing a new actress. Then a month later you never mentioned another word about her. I noticed, Dasher, despite what you might think. What was her name?”
Giving up the charade, Dash admitted the truth. “Kate Hoffman.”
“Oh, Dash. I’m sorry. Maybe this time things will be different.”
“Mom, I’m not holding my breath. Some things just aren’t meant to be.”
Nodding, she said, “And some things are fated to be. No matter how hard you try, you can’t outrun them. Don’t give up on her, Dash. Maybe she just has to find her way to you.”
Dasher grumbled, “I’m still wondering what you did with my mother.” But she was enjoying listening to her. What she didn’t say was that dying seemed to agree with Mimi Pate.
“Tell you what, let’s watch a Western. We both love horses.”
Dasher put her new PDA in her pocket for another time and dug through a box of DVDs she’d brought from her mother’s place. Although Dash had a few childhood memories of camping, she never could figure out why Mimi liked cowboy films so much. From what little her mother would say, she’d been raised poor and in a city. Rolling tundra seemed like an odd thing for an agoraphobic to long for.
*
The next day Kate and Mimi were watching an early Clint Eastwood Italian Western and laughing at the acting and dialogue when Dasher came unexpectedly early. Kate was delighted until she saw Dasher’s face.
“What’s wrong?” She looked ready to tear something in two.
Mimi regarded Dasher. “Oh. You must’ve talked to my doctors.”
“Yeah, I have. Do you want to know what they told me?”
Kate hit the Stop button on the DVD player. From the expression on both women’s faces, this didn’t involve her.
Mimi said, “Now, Dasher—”
As if she’d been struck, Dasher flinched. “Don’t you dare ‘Now, Dasher’ me, Mom. Don’t you dare.”
“I should go.” Kate started to rise and Dasher held up her hand.
“No. Stay. You can hear th
is. Mother, would you like to give the bad news to Kate?”
Mimi was silent, staring at the dark screen on the DVD player.
“Dash…”
Kate didn’t have any idea what to do.
Dasher ignored her. “Seems my mother has cancer, yes, but it’s probably quite treatable. They would have to do surgery to remove a tumor in her uterus and then go from there, depending on what they find.”
“Well, that’s wonderful, right?” Why did Dasher look so anguished?
“I’ve refused the surgery,” Mimi said. “Does that about sum it up, sweetie?”
“Yes. You’re so happy to be dying that no one or nothing can spoil your fun, especially not the prospect of actually living. Because why would you want to do that? No one cares about you, no one loves you. No one that matters anyway.”
“Dash!” Kate exclaimed.
Mimi touched Kate’s arm and said, “No, let her talk.”
“You know, Mother, I have power of attorney for legal and health matters. I could have you declared incompetent and force you to get that surgery.” The anger and pain that were so evident in Dasher’s eyes broke Kate’s heart.
Regarding her evenly, Mimi said, “But you won’t.”
The standoff lasted maybe ten seconds, then Dasher dropped her head, the fire replaced by resignation. The next time she met her mother’s gaze she said, “No. If there’s nothing here worth living for, I can’t do a damned thing about it.” She turned and left the room.
The gravity of what had just happened and what Dasher had said hit Kate like a punch in the chest. She whirled on Mimi. “How could you do that?”
Shaking her head, Mimi said, “The odd thing is, I’ve been thinking about having the surgery, trying to see if I can do better this time, and it was all for Dasher. But I can’t guarantee that anything will change. Don’t you think I’ve caused enough pain to that lovely woman? Don’t you think it’s best for Dasher?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m saying that Dasher could live her life if she didn’t have the albatross named Mimi hanging around her neck.” Her eyes were shimmering with tears.
Kate walked over to her, took both her shoulders, and looked her in the eye. “You just told Dasher that she wasn’t important enough to even keep you alive. You confirmed her worst fears about herself. This isn’t about you any longer, Mimi. It’s time for you to be her mother. Excuse me.”
When she stormed out the door, she heard quiet sobbing behind her.
*
Kate couldn’t find Dasher anywhere. She tried the garden, looked in the waiting rooms on every floor, even got caught for a few autographs while scanning the cafeteria. Finally she happened upon the chapel. When she entered she saw only one person. Dasher was sitting quietly in a pew, staring at the wall that contained representations of several of the world’s religions: a cross, a Star of David, a statue of a sitting Buddha, and the crescent moon and five-pointed star to represent Islam. Rows of votive candles were available for people to light to pray for their loved ones, and the faint odor of incense filled the air. The place was quiet and peaceful.
Kate sat beside Dasher, took her hand and squeezed it, then clasped their hands together in her lap. Dasher’s strong profile revealed tear tracks the length of her face, but her eyes were dry.
“Why are you still here?” Dasher asked. “I would think you’d have run screaming from this place a long time ago.” The roughness of her voice confirmed that she’d been crying.
“I’ve been looking for you. I was afraid you’d done the same thing.”
“Nah. I’ll get it together and go back. She’ll be frightened.”
Kate turned away from the religious icons and faced Dasher. “Look at me, Dash, please.”
Finally, Dasher met her eyes and Kate confirmed what she feared. She saw shame. “If your mother chooses not to have the surgery, that’s on her. You are one of the most loving, compassionate human beings I’ve ever known. I could never be one-tenth the person you are. Just knowing you are my friend makes me a better person.” Kate realized that she could have sold this as a dramatic scene, but she meant every word.
She kissed Dasher’s forehead and then her cheek, slightly grazing the corner of her mouth. “I am in awe of you.”
They held each other’s gaze until someone came in the room. The spell broken, they walked out together.
Just as they opened the door a man cleared his throat and they looked up to see Chaz Hockaday busily shooting photos, his face still covered in scratches and blisters. His partner in crime, Michael, was standing to the side, looking as though he wished he were anywhere but there. He waved and smiled apologetically.
Dasher was taken aback, then stepped in front of Kate. “Hockaday, can’t you leave Miss Hoffman alone?”
Kate was surprised, then pleased that her knight was trying to protect her.
“Aw, come on, you know how it is. Catching the two of you together is putting food on my table. Now, be a sport and move so I can get a few more.”
He was grinning and started shooting again when Kate stepped out from behind Dasher.
Kate smiled slyly. “I see you’re looking better today. Tell me, were your face and arms the only places you got the sap? I know it’s hard to wash off.”
One of his hands dropped toward his crotch, but he caught himself and she could swear that underneath all those sores was a blush. She nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, I was afraid of that. I’ll bet it itches constantly, no matter what you put on it, right? You want to scratch, but then it spreads and gets worse. Just itching and itching.”
“Hey, shut up! It doesn’t itch that much.” He looked uncomfortable even saying the word.
“You don’t sound very convincing. My brother got it on his penis once and it drove him crazy. Itching and itching, so tender. Of course, he couldn’t have sex, but all that scratching and then it was painful when he’d, well, you know. He got oozing sores.”
The horror on both men’s faces was a sight to see. Chaz growled, “Bitch,” then took off for, presumably, the bathroom. Michael was right behind him.
Snorting, Dasher said, “You are evil. That poor man may never recover.”
“Serves him right. Food on the table, my ass.”
“I hope he doesn’t cause you any problems.”
“He probably will. Listen, I have to run. Are you going to the directors’ dinner Tuesday night? I have to show up.”
“Me, too. Do you want to go together?” Dasher seemed to suddenly realize what she’d asked and looked away awkwardly.
“I’m sorry, Dash, I can’t. I invited Jason Beresford because he plans to be in town. He’s kind of my brother-in-law and I thought it would be nice…you know.” She wanted to apologize but Dasher immediately shut down further discussion.
“No problem. I’ll probably take Greta. She still loves all the awards stuff, and it’s good for her to be seen. She’s not dating anyone, so she’ll be up for it. Besides, Joe would probably follow through with his threat to call security.”
“So, I’ll see you there. Tuesday.” Kate wondered when Joe had made such a threat, but Dasher disappeared before she could ask.
When Dasher had mentioned inviting Greta, Kate used all her willpower to bite back a remark about probably still seeing things through a child’s eyes. She was jealous and had no right, no right at all. After all, she was taking Jason to the event. They had agreed, at Kate’s insistence, that they were only friends. Her reasoning didn’t help the gnawing in her gut that the idea of Dasher with Greta created.
Chapter Twelve
Dasher had the limo wait while she walked to the door to collect Greta. The rental house that she’d helped Greta lease when she first arrived in Los Angeles had worked perfectly. Its courtyard with a high-end security system in place so she could see who was ringing the bell was especially useful.
Greta answered the front door with an enthusiasm Dasher certainly didn’t share, but she tr
ied to not spoil the prospect of the high-profile dinner for her.
“Hi, Dash! Are you ready for the rubber chicken?” Greta got a huge kick out of referring to these events that way. She also loved to tease Dasher about her tendency to avoid them when possible. Her slight Russian accent matched her classic pale features and the slim build of a ballerina.
Dasher had seen her in a small independent film two years before and signed her immediately. In Greta she’d found a hardworking, vibrant woman who appreciated everything to its maximum.
But even Greta’s positive personality couldn’t make up for the fact that, yet again, Dasher would have to try to avoid coming in contact with Kate. It hurt worse this time, too. Odd, she didn’t think that was possible, but it was.
Dasher and Greta wove their way through the crowd, looking for their nameplates on the many round tables set with golden flatware, fine china, and elegant floral centerpieces. Both spent time waving to colleagues or acquaintances, and Greta finally found their table.
Feeling like a soldier on a forced march, Dasher couldn’t help but scan the room nervously for Kate and Jason. She was relieved that they hadn’t yet shown up, but the anticipation made her conversational skills, already sketchy in crowds, absent.
Greta spoke near Dasher’s ear, competing with the crowd noise. “Hey, Dasher, are you ill? You don’t look so good.”
“Oh, I’m fine. You know how much I like these things.” Her halfhearted laugh didn’t seem to fool Greta.
“I see. Oh, look, there’s Kate Hoffman and that handsome man I saw when we went to the hotel a few weeks ago. He’s so cute!”
Grabbing a glass of champagne someone had placed in front of her, Dasher took a gulp and stared at the stage where the awards would be presented.
“Dasher? I said…” Then Greta fell silent. A few seconds passed before she continued. “I see. Well, we must do something about this. I’ll be back.”
Not caring what Greta was babbling about and relieved to have a moment to herself, Dasher drained the champagne glass and eyed Greta’s. There was a lot of activity around their table as people arrived. The sound of clothing rustling as a woman took her seat beside Dasher brought her out of her state, and she gutted up to make small talk.